Ask 411 Movies for 3.19.07: The Column That Cures Your Hangover!
Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 03.19.2007
Irishsploitation films, basketball movies, See No Evil and the history of yacht rock
Comedian Richard Jeni apparently committed suicide on March 10th. He was 49. Jeni was a top club standup of the late eighties and early nineties. He broke into the mainstream as Jim Carrey's buddy in The Mask and starred in a short lived UPN series "Platypus Man."
Actress Betty Hutton passed away on Match 11th of colon cancer. She was 86. Hutton was a musical and comedy star of the forties and early fifties. An addiction to sleeping pills in the sixties caused her to devote herself to Catholicism and she became a cook and housekeeper in a Rhode Island rectory. Among her films were Annie Get Your Gun, The Greatest Show on Earth, The Miracle of Morgan's Creek, Dream Girl, The Perils of Pauline, Incendiary Blonde, The Fleet's In, Let's Face It and Happy Go Lucky.
Actor Bruce Bennet, aka Herman Brix, died on February 24th from complications of a broken hip. He was 100. I had him in my dead pool. He won a silver medal in the 1928 Olympics in the shot put. He was Edgar Rice Burroughs' first choice to play his character of Tarzan on film, but lost out on the part when he separated his shoulder to fellow Olympian Johnny Weismueller. He did play the part in a few low budget serials. Among his other films were Three Violent People, Love Me Tender, Strategic Air Command, Dream Wife, Sudden Fear, Dark Passage, Cheyenne, Treasure of the Sierra Madre and Mildred Pierce
NETFLIX MOVIE OF THE WEEK: SEE NO EVIL
A vehicle for WWE wrestler Kane, the horror film is not just painstakingly clichéd and poorly put together, but boring. Artless direction and cinematography limit any cheap thrills from the gore due to poor presentation of the scares. Kane has the right look and raw charisma to play a freakish serial killer, but he's never given much to do. A few key scenes that acquire him to act a bit he comes through pretty well on. I had heard that it was a fun film for people who enjoy this type of low budget horror movie, but it was flat out blah. If you would ask me to describe the movie next week I probably couldn't tell you one thing about it. If you can't see the surprise ‘twist' toward the end you are certifiably mentally challenged.
My friend Brian sent me some YouTube clips of a parody show detailing the history of yacht rock. Yacht rock is basically smooth music of the late seventies and early eighties performed by the likes of Christopher Cross, Kenny Loggins and Michael McDonald. I present to you below my favorite episode, where Michael Jackson unites with Eddie Van Halen to kill yacht rock, yet the intervention of Toto and a Hollywood legend turns the tide. Warning, there is some harsh language.
I bought this past week "Tom Snyder's Electric Kool-Aide Talk Show" featuring interviews from his old "Tomorrow Show" with Ken Kesey, Tom Wolfe, Timothy Leary and the Grateful Dead with four songs by them. It wasn't as detailed and interesting as I thought it would be, but the Dead performances were worth buying the disc for. They also have a punk and new wave DVD that I just received, but haven't watched yet.
This past weekend was St. Patrick's Day and I'm sure you all celebrated in the traditional manner of getting hammered on green beer. If you perused the channels you might have found some movies that fall into the genre I like to call Irishsploitation. Let's look at a few.
The Luck of the Irish (1948): Stephen Fitzgerald (Tyrone Power) is an American reporter traveling in Ireland. Ignorant of his roots, he is taken under the wing of an old coot who claims to be a leprechaun (Cecil Kellaway) and hooks him up with lassie Nora (Anne Baxter). He returns to New York to join up with his fiancée (Jayne Meadows) and aide in her father's (Lee J. Cobb) election campaign. He thinks his Irish fling is over, but to his surprise Nora and the leprechaun show up to take him home, his real home with them.
The Quiet Man (1952): This is questionable for the category as it's a really great film with elements beyond the typical Irish bits, but it has those too. Sean Thornton (John Wayne) returns to his native Ireland and buys his family home. Adjacent landowner Will Danaher (Victor McLaglen) doesn't take kindly to his new neighbor since he wanted the land. Sean has eyes for his sister Mary Kate (Maureen O'Hara with her flaming red hair). The local match maker (Barry Fitzgerald) tricks Will into letting Sean marry her, but Will won't give up her dowry. Sean doesn't care, but Mary Kate doesn't feel like her own woman and a wife without it. More so, she's shamed that Sean won't fight for it. He reveals to a local reverend (Arthur Shields) that he was a boxer who killed a man in the ring and swore never to fight again. Mary Kate finally leaves Sean and this prompts him to drag her by the hair across the countryside and finally engage in fisticuffs with Will in a great ending fight scene. It was directed by John Ford who had a special spot in his heart for Ireland and wanted to share his love with American audiences. John Wayne gives one of his best performances and while there is no way he beats Gary Cooper in High Noon for the Oscar it's a shame he didn't even have a nomination.
Darby O'Gill and the Little People (1959): A special effects extravaganza for the time that still holds up today. Darby O'Gill (Albert Sharpe) is a cantankerous caretaker who wiles away his days in a local pub telling stories about the leprechauns that live in the Irish countryside. The lord of the manor sends a younger man (Sean Connery) to take Darby's place. He begs him to let him tell his daughter (cute as a button Janet Munro) in his own time, but he secretly wants to hook the two of them up so she doesn't have to leave the home she was born in. The king of the leprechauns (Jimmy O'Dea) hears of Darby's misfortunes and invites him to live with the little people for the rest of his days. He almost gets trapped in their mountain home, but escapes. King Brian confronts him the next night and Darby captures him for three wishes. Naturally, he wastes the first one, uses the second one more wisely and the third one is a lifesaver, literally. I recommend picking up the DVD, which also includes documentaries on the effects and a "Wonderful World of Disney" episode that hyped the film starring Walt Disney himself exploring old Irish lore.
The Gnome Mobile (1967): It worked once for Disney, so why not try it again. This time they go with a different mystical sprite in the gnome. DJ Mulrooney (Walter Brennan) is an eccentric millionaire on vacation with his grandchildren Rodney (Matthew Garber) and Elizabeth (Karen Dotrice). They find two gnomes (Brennan in double duty as Knobby and Tom Lowell as Jasper) in the trunk of their car. The pair is trying to find the remainder of their shrinking tribe and the kids convince grandpa to help them out. However, he starts babbling about gnomes and gets sent to the loony bin. The kids and gnomes bust him out and they eventually find the gnome nation led by Rufus (Ed Wynn in his last movie). In a riotous finale, which makes the whole movie worth it, Rufus decrees that Jasper must get married, so they slick him up with soap and the eligible gnome girls have a greased pig contest with him. I'm not joking.
Finian's Rainbow (1968): Based on the Broadway musical. Finian McLonergan (Fred Astaire in his last musical) travels to America with his daughter Sharon (Petula Clark). They settle in a small community near Fort Knox when Finian helps the poor people out of their debt with the local land baron senator (Keenan Wynn). Sharon immediately has eyes for dreamer Woody (Don Francks) who is attempting to help the depressed area by inventing a new style of smokeless tobacco. Finian believes that there is something in the ground near Fort Knox that makes gold grow and multiply. He stole the leprechauns' magic pot of gold and wants to bury it in the ground so he can get some gold of his own and give the rest back to the little people. Og (Tommy Steele) has come to retrieve the gold, because the lack of it is making the leprechauns turn human. A series of misunderstandings and love triangles follow until Sharon makes the mistake of wishing that the bigoted Senator Rawkins was black so he could see what it's like while standing over the buried pot of gold. He turns black and in a plot contrivance Og uses the last of his leprechaun magic to give Rawkins an ‘attitude adjustment' that causes him to become a bassist in a black gospel group. It's pretty fun and some of the tunes are catchy. It was also Francis Ford Coppola's first major feature. At the age of 69, it was reported that Astaire danced circles around the chorus extras, some of whom were a quarter of his age.
The Luck of the Irish (2001): You can't keep Disney down if there is money to be made. In this made for TV movie, Kyle Johnson (Ryan Merriman) goes to a local festival in order to learn more about his Irish heritage, which his mother Kate (Marita Geraghty) oddly doesn't want him to know anything about. Kyle meets a strange old man (Henry Gibson as the excellently named Reilly O'Reilly) and folk dancer Seamus McTiernen (Timothy Omundson). The lucky coin he wears around his neck comes up missing and strange things start happening to him. He gets shorter, his hair turns red, his ears get pointy. It's either an acid trap or he's turning into a leprechaun. Kyle's father Bob (Paul Kiernan) tell him that his grandfather disowned his mother after she married him, a mere mortal. They believe it's him who stole the coin out of spite and go to his potato chip factory. Reilly knows that Seamus is an evil spirit who steals other leprechaun's gold for his own. Kyle and his buddy Russell (Glenndon Chatman) challenge Seamus to ‘sports' to get the coin back and wind up competing in a bastardization of the Highland games. When the competition ends in a tie it's down to a game of basketball for honor, pride and the luck of the Irish.
We have more time to kill. So while in the midst of the NCAA Tournament let's look at some basketball movies.
The Fish that Saved Pittsburgh (1979): The Pittsburgh Pythons are a bad team and everyone blames their egocentric star Moses Guthrie (Dr. J). When everyone walks out on him, towel boy Tyrone (James Bond III) gets the idea to consult an astrologist (Stockard Channing). She recommends that they stack the team with players born under Guthrie's sign of Pisces. They make a weird squad, but a winning one. The astrologist part was originally intended for Cher.
Inside Moves (1980): Roary (John Savage) is left partially crippled after a failed suicide attempt. He is put in a halfway house with other handicapped people (including Harold Russell in his first film since winning an Oscar for The Best Years of Our Lives). They all hang at a local bar where bartender Jerry (David Morse) has a bad leg. He gets it fixed and goes onto become a star basketball player. However, he forsakes his old friends who were pulling for him all the time.
Hoosiers (1986): Disgraced Coach Norman Dale (Gene Hackman) reaches the bottom of the barrel by taking a job at very small Hickory High School in Indiana. Despite some initial controversy, Dale leads his boys to the state championship. The film was based on the true story of Milan High School. Hackman won the lead after Jack Nicholson had to back out due to a scheduling conflict. Dennis Hopper earned an Oscar nomination as a drunken assistant coach. For one memorable scene where he stumbles onto the court in a stupor he asked for a ten second warning before action. He then spun in a circle until he was dizzy and off balance to give himself a drunk appearing walk.
White Men Can't Jump (1992): Billy (Woody Harrelson) and Sidney (Wesley Snipes) are basketball hustlers who unite despite differences more than skin color. Off the court Billy deals with his often temperamental girlfriend Gloria (Rosie Perez) who desires to be on "Jeopardy!" and Sidney's wife Rhonda (Tyra Ferrell) who wants more for them. Their fortunes come down to a major local tournament where Billy has to prove that white men can too jump. Charlie Sheen was first choice for Billy. Harrelson had played some college ball and thought he was good until he got on the court with the film's special trainer Bob Lanier. Woody called the game he played with Lanier the most embarrassing fifteen minutes of his life. The film became a surprise hit and writer/director Ron Shelton had to sue 20th Century Fox for over $10 million in profits due him.
Above the Rim (1994): Kyle-Lee (Duane Martin) is a high school phenom trying to land a scholarship with Georgetown. At the same time he's torn between two sides in a local basketball tournament. Local drug dealer Birdie (Tupac Shakur) wants him to play for him, while Kyle-Lee's high school coach wants him to team up with former basketball star turned broken down security guard Shep (Leon).
The Air Up There (1994): Coach Jimmy Dolan (Kevin Bacon) it desperate for a big angle and finds it when he goes to recruit a player (Charles Gitonga Maina) in deepest, darkest Africa. He is the son of the tribe's chief and can't leave with his tribe's land in danger of being taken away.
Blue Chips (1994): Pete Bell (Nick Nolte) is a college coach, like most film coaches, at the end of his rope. All the best players are going to other schools because they are being paid under the table. Pete throws his morals aside to land phenom Neon (Shaquille O'Neal).
Celtic Pride (1996): Mike (Daniel Stern) and Jimmy (Dan Aykroyd) are huge Celtic fans. They make the finals against the Utah Jazz and go to seven games. Mike and Jimmy get the Jazz's best player (Damon Wayans) drunk and wind up kidnapping him so he misses the final game.
The Sixth Man (1997): Antoine (Kadeem Hardison) and Kenny (Marlon Wayans) are brothers anchoring a top college basketball team. Antoine dies and Kenny has to become team leader. Antoine's ghost comes back to help him, but Kenny doesn't care for the interference or how Antoine's help changes him and people's perceptions of him.
Don't die.
"Hard rock has me and Eddie drilling more kooch than Black and Decker."
