Misunderstood Masterpieces: Oh, God! You Devil

Posted by Will Helm on 03.27.2007

…or, Showcasing the Redemptive Power of Broadway

Dante Alighieri's Commedia. Christopher Marlowe's The Tragical History of Dr. Faustus. John Milton's Paradise Lost. Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's Faust. Adler and Ross' Damn Yankees. What do all of these have in common?

SATAN! Thank you, Church Lady. Well, maybe not "Satan" by name, but at least conceptually. The idea of "the devil" as the great nemesis in literature and popular culture has a long and storied history, beginning, for many, at the Biblical Book of Genesis. Many associate the "serpent" from the tale of Adam and Eve with this great antithesis of goodness and holiness and the concept has held ever since. Of course, in the millennia following, many – particularly the lauded scribes mentioned above – would expound on the identity of the great evil. Dante outlined the realm of the devil and tortures inflicted therein in Inferno. Milton gave the devil – in the guise of Lucifer – a backstory and raison d'être in Paradise Lost. Finally, Marlowe, Goethe, and Adler and Ross postulated just what happens when humanity interacts with the devil, normally in the form of a very sinister contract: the idiomatic "deal with the devil."

In the next three films in this very column, I'm going to deal with the devil, so to speak, though, herein, it's quite literal as the subject for study is the 1984 flick Oh, God! You Devil. The as the third film in the "Oh, God!" trilogy, Oh, God! You Devil changes up the format of the preceding two films a bit. In the original film, God himself – in the guise of George Burns – or George Burns portraying the role of "God" – I suppose this all depends on whether the viewer believes George Burns is God or not – contacts John Denver and turns him into a dull musician. Oh, wait . . . that was always true. Well, anyway, John Denver becomes a marketing agent for God . . . or something like that. I haven't seen the movie in about two decades and I'm not in the mood to go back and watch it. Anyway, a sequel was made, pretty much rehashing the plot of the original movie but, this time, adding elements of The Exorcist as God inspires a little girl to be his marketing agent this time in Oh, God! Book II. All I remember is that everyone thought she was crazy or possessed or something like that. Finally, the trilogy ended with Oh, God! You Devil, the only film in the series to not recycle the initial plot. So, does the change in storyline improve the hackneyed plot and make a good movie out of a rather lame franchise or do I have yet another Misunderstood Masterpiece on my hands? Let's find out!

Somewhere in America, vintage cars line a dirty street. Meanwhile, some guy in a brownstone wakes up in the middle of the night and, after mumbling something to his wife, he gets up to check on his son, who has some mystery ailment . . . which looks a lot like clinical depression. The guy, obviously being a pious man, prays to God to cure his son and then, after the little canticle, he serenades his son with the haunting strains of "Fugue for the Tinhorns" from Guys and Dolls. Ah . . . there's nothing like the curative powers of Broadway. Outside the brownstone, on the street below, George Burns takes notes in a little pad and then he tells the audience – I guess God is allowed to break the fourth wall – that he doesn't want to be disappointed. Wait . . . by the guy, the kid, or the movie?

Years later, in some big American city, Ted Wass (not Wass) goes to his apartment where, in the elevator, some old lady scolds at him because he's too young to be retired. OK . . . he should probably stay away from the crazy old lady. Once in his apartment, Ted Wass does laundry and puts groceries away. Ah, there's nothing more exciting than the life of a house-husband. Wow. Ted Wass then checks his messages and there's one from his wife (Roxanne Hart), who he then calls while she's in the middle of a meeting with a delinquent scamp and his mother. After Ted Wass' wife finishes up the call, the delinquent's mother takes the time to make snide comments about Ted Wass – I guess she wasn't a fan of Blossom – and Ted Wass' wife reveals the awful truth about her husband: he's a struggling musician! Dum-dum-DUM! Just to hammer home that plot point, the movie then shifts back to the apartment, where Ted Wass is busy writing a song as his piano. Thanks for making be believe, movie! Hallelujah!

Down in Florida, a hurricane hits a posh resort and the hotel manager is extremely flustered. Adding to his frustrations: one of his guests actually wants to leave the premises! The hotel manager staunchly refuses, until he meets the guest . . . and it's George Burns! After a cursory argument regarding George Burns' request, the hotel manager relents when George Burns uses his evil eyes to hypnotize him. Ooh . . . it seems that God has taken a sinister turn. Intriguing. Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles – the "big American city" alluded to earlier, Ted Wass meets with his agent (Eugene Roche), who's busy on the phone with a record executive somewhere in town. It seems that the record executive hated Ted Wass' demo tape – maybe he should've posted his tunes on MySpace instead – and Ted Wass mopes while listening to his career falling apart secondhand. After the phone call, the agent gives Ted Wass a dose of reality – mainly that his career choice is a bit . . . ill-conceived – and he gets Ted Wass a gig at a wedding. It's for $500, but Ted Wass freaks out anyway because it's too low-rent for his highfalutin' standards. Of course, Ted Wass kicks the plot into gear when he states that he's willing to make a deal with the devil to make it in the music business. Dum-dum-DUM!

On the road somewhere in America, George Burns drives his Dodge – nope, it's not a spaceship – and sings to himself. He then proves that the devil invented Pimp My Ride when he watches videos of Yassir Arafat, Idi Amin, and Ted Wass. Hmm . . . one of these things is not like the other. After a few cursory comments about the first two, George Burns requests a little more information from his on-board computer about Ted Wass. Speaking of Ted Wass, he's back in Los Angeles and arguing with his wife over dinner. Apparently, he's sick of his crappy career and his wife's terrible taste in wine. He still loves her, though . . . at least until he strikes it rich and then leaves her behind for scores and scores of hot, young groupies. Later that evening, Ted Wass checks his messages and, enigmatically, one of them is apparently from a storm and a pipe organ. Damned telemarketers! He tells his wife about him but she merely thinks he's crazy . . . or he had a little too much crappy wine.

At the wedding, Ted Wass sings the hokey pokey and, all the while, he contemplates suicide. Well, I know I would in that position, so I'm sure it's pretty universal. Luckily for Ted Wass, George Burns is there; too bad he's busy blackmailing an old lady with gossip about her dead husband and cutting a rug. George Burns gets FUNKY! Sometime later, the old lady tries to get her REVENGE on George Burns but he responds by making her escargots come to life, freaking her out. Yummy. During a lull in the action, George Burns strikes up a conversation with Ted Wass and he makes a pitch to the burgeoning musician. Ted Wass, much to his credit, is a little reluctant to join up with this mysterious individual so George Burns tries to convince him by ruining the wedding with his evil powers and then disappearing!

That evening, Ted Wass and his wife go out to eat and, once at the table, he tells her about George Burns. She, being a logical and respectable social worker, thinks her husband is crazy AND paranoid . . . and then they go to bed. Whoa . . . that was a quick dinner. Ted Wass, before drifting off to sleep, fantasizes about being a successful musician and then he and his wife get it on. I bet he's fantasizing that she's a hot, young groupie. Elsewhere, George Burns drives around and watches a video of some guy onstage in Cleveland. The mysterious rocker finishes his set a little early and then he freaks out and runs offstage, much to his handlers' chagrin. The guy then checks his contract – presumably with George Burns – and he gets a phone call! Whoa . . . it's The Ring! He argues with George Burns for a few minutes and then he disappears! Keyser Söze!

The next day – in abridged Hollywood universe, Ted Wass and his hapless agent go to a record company to meet with two executives: Ron Silver and the guy who played the doctor on Star Trek: Voyager. While Ted Wass and his agent wait outside, the two executives joke about the agent and ponder just why they're meeting with Ted Wass in the first place. That's an awfully good question; my answer is that it probably keeps the plot from foundering. While Ted Wass and his agent question their respective lots in life, evil George Burns shows up; insults the agent – to his face, at least; and makes his pitch again. After a few moments of careful consideration, Ted Wass fires his agent and goes with evil George Burns.

Now with new representation, Ted Wass and evil George Burns meet with the record executives and the executives and George Burns trade terrible Catskill-comic jokes. Evil George Burns, much to his credit, tells the executives that he wants to get down to business, so he gives the executives – and Ted Wass – a contract. While the executives rudely mock the terms of their contract, evil George Burns pressures Ted Wass into signing his deal . . . then he sweetens it by making it a "trial period," unlike the last guy's contract. Ted Wass, confident that evil George Burns will keep his word, signs away and evil George Burns, scant moments later, alters Ted Wass' signature while Ted Wass gets a record deal as well. Oh, and he also finds out that evil George Burns is, indeed, the DEVIL! Dum-dum-DUM!

Back at Ted Wass' apartment, his wife comes home happily . . . to another man! Whoa; she's been cheating on him all along? Maybe George Burns isn't the devil after all. Ted Wass, now a signed recording artist, calls his unfaithful wife and he talks to the other guy who now, mysteriously, is using Ted Wass' name. Infidelity and identity theft too? I'm impressed. Ted Wass, after finding out that his wife is just a lying tramp, freaks out, so evil George Burns gives him a spinal adjustment and tells him to get ready to go on tour. First stop: Buffalo, where Ted Wass nervously sulks in the wings, wondering just how he became a successful rock star with the sign of his name. He takes the stage and freaks out – something tells me this is going to become a running theme – and then he starts playing crappy yacht rock, transforming into Rockin' Ted Wass!

Rockin' Ted Wass, after his Buffalo gig, heads over to Providence and Boston – while I start to suspect that this part of the film was influenced by Boston's "Rock and Roll Band" – while playing the same terrible music at every show. I honestly don't know why people tolerated this kind of thing during the ‘80s. Even more shockingly, Rockin' Ted Wass even finds the time to nail hordes of groupies after ever concert. Well, his wife is a no good dirty whore, so turnabout is fair play. Rockin' Ted Wass finally gets to play Madison Square Garden, earns gold records, and even has threesomes. I wonder if that had the same cachet in 1984 that it does now? Rockin' Ted Wass, perhaps much to his surprise, becomes the epitome of a hedonistic rock star . . . but his music still sucks. Then again, I don't blame him; I blame the fools who buy it.

After the tour, Rockin' Ted Wass and Ron Silver get on a helicopter and they head on over to Rockin' Ted Wass' mansion. Once there, Rockin' Ted Wass meets his butler "for the first time" and Rockin' Ted Wass also falls all over his mansion for no particular reason. It's probably the booze and drugs, though his butler just thinks he's crazy. After dismissing his butler, Rockin' Ted Wass takes a tour of his mansion and, in his "gourmet kitchen," he finds his lobster tank. Strangely, instead of picking out some dinner once there, Rockin' Ted Wass pleads with the lobsters about getting his life back or his identity or something like that. Hmm . . . maybe he really is crazy.

That night, Rockin' Ted Wass has his limousine take him back to his old apartment – which, sadly, isn't two steps from the street; the Barenaked Ladies aren't very proud – and, once there, he mopes. Back at the mansion, Rockin' Ted Wass plays a little tune on his piano and then evil George Burns shows up for a little chat. Evil George Burns, unsympathetic to Rockin' Ted Wass' predicament, confesses that he's been busy and, in an ironic touch, he misses hanging out with God. Because, of course, they worked so well together on that whole "Job" thing. Who won that bet anyway? While evil George Burns is busy causing a ruckus in the world, God has merely sequestered himself and has become a mopey dullard rather than the fun-loving God he used to be. Ah . . . THAT explains the platypus.

Rockin' Ted Wass, perhaps pining for his former life, decides to leave his mansion and go see his cheating wife for their anniversary. He does so by going to their old restaurant but, alas, his wife is already there . . . with the other man! Great; not only is Rockin' Ted Wass indebted to the devil, he's also a stalker now. And, as a stalker, it's a wonder he doesn't fly into a blind rage when he discovers that his wife is now pregnant! That slut! Rockin' Ted Wass, amazingly, quells his fury and cordially chats with his wife and the other guy – who is still posing as original Ted Wass. Rockin' Ted Wass, suspiciously, offers the other guy a gig in his band; it's probably a plan so he can bump off the other guy and make it look like an "overdose." Ooh . . . that's cagey, Rockin' Ted Wass. Anyway, after his wife and the other guy leave, Rockin' Ted Wass freaks out yet again because he believes that her baby is actually his! Well, the Inquirer is going to have a field day with that one.

Sometime later, Rockin' Ted Wass complains to evil George Burns about the way that his new life is turning out. He also states that he wants out of his contract and he also wants his wife back. But will she take him back? She seems to be having a pretty good time with the other guy. As evil George Burns is apathetic to his pleas, Rockin' Ted Wass goes on a little journey to try and find a way out of his deal with the devil. Rockin' Ted Wass' first stop: the local church, where he goes to confession with Fr. James Cromwell. While Fr. James Cromwell listens intently, Rockin' Ted Wass essentially, though in fairly manic fashion, goes over the plot of the film so far. Unsurprisingly, Fr. James Cromwell thinks Rockin' Ted Wass is crazy – and probably hopped up on goofballs – so, after the confession, Fr. James Cromwell and his deacon assistant try to kidnap Rockin' Ted Wass, presumably for a forced exorcism . . . or some flaying in the basement. And, after that, punch and cookies.

His dabblings in Catholicism failed, Rockin' Ted Wass decides to eschew the entire Messiah thing altogether – finally, some movie does! – and he visits a synagogue. Once there, Rockin' Ted Wass explains his peculiar predicament to the sarcastic rabbi on duty and then he freaks out a little more again. Outside the synagogue, Rockin' Ted Wass sees some crazy street preacher – no word on whether he's manic or not – who tells Rockin' Ted Wass that he can find God in the desert. Ooh . . . looks like Rockin' Ted Wass is going to Sinai!

Or not, as Rockin' Ted Wass hilariously goes to Las Vegas instead. After scolding his lackeys and underlings or something, Rockin' Ted Wass has God paged by the Caesar's Palace staff and, shockingly, good George Burns – a.k.a. God – answers the call! Hallelujah! While chatting with Rockin' Ted Wass among the slot machines, God makes a rainbow and lightning appear for Rockin' Ted Wass' approval. God, in a bit of a role reversal, then confesses that he's been watching Rockin' Ted Wass ever since his father asked God for help all those years ago. Ah . . . so the prologue pays off! Rockin' Ted Wass, seeing an opening in God's everlasting charity, asks God for help but, strangely like the devil, God wants something in return: a little praise. And then he hangs up. Well, God can be a little rude. Anyway, Rockin' Ted Wass, not wanting to lose his soul to the devil, makes up a goofy little prayer to God, just to appease him.

At this point, I'm not really quite clear on the characters here. Is Rockin' Ted Wass repentant or just selfish? Is God sincere or egotistical? At least the only clear character is the devil.

Rockin' Ted Wass, interrupted from his meditation by Ron Silver, leaves for that night's gig; moments later, God makes a rainbow appear in the nighttime sky for reasons unexplained. Why must you be so cryptic, movie! On the way to the gig – which is just downstairs, Rockin' Ted Wass argues with Ron Silver about something or other and then Ron Silver reveals that evil George Burns told him that Rockin' Ted Wass would off himself in the very near future. Speaking of evil George Burns, he's busy joining a poker game somewhere in the casino; Rockin' Ted Wass, emboldened by evil George Burns' little challenge, dismisses Ron Silver and then he discovers a massive amount of various pills in his medicine cabinet. Wow . . . it's like Saw, just not.

Rockin' Ted Wass, being rocking, grabs a bunch of random pills and a big ol' glass of whiskey to wash them down with. Meanwhile, at the poker table, God joins evil George Burns and he challenges his rival to a card game . . . for Rockin' Ted Wass' soul! Well, at least it's not chess. Backstage at Caesar's Palace, Rockin' Ted Wass is busy trying to kill himself; evil George Burns, quite aware of this, is emboldened by the marketing possibilities of Rockin' Ted Wass' death. After all of this introductory material, the devil deals his and God's hands and, as it turns out, the devil has a better hand to start. While Rockin' Ted Wass passes out upstairs, God sweetens the deal with evil George Burns and then, after ages of deliberation, evil George Burns folds . . . and God was bluffing. I don't really understand the moral implications of this plot point, but I'm sure it's something important.

Back upstairs, Rockin' Ted Wass dies anyway . . . sort of, as it was actually the other guy. Ted Wass has his REVENGE! After their game, God and evil George Burns joke around a bit and evil George Burns takes a moment to break the fourth wall again; he can do that . . . after all, he's the devil. Later, God visits with regular Ted Wass for a little chat and they reminisce about Ted Wass' dead father. Wow . . . that's a bit of a downer. God sends Ted Wass back to his wife and Ted Wass, continuing one element of his character, freaks out once he's there . . . and then they get it on again. Even though she's very pregnant. I didn't know Ted Wass was into that. Five years later, Ted Wass sings "Fugue for the Tinhorns" for his sick daughter and then God and his dead father join in as a trio. Yeah.

Even though the film is a little more than ninety minutes, I honestly don't get the point. It's not a feel-good flick like the first two – as clichéd as they could be. It's not a commentary on the hedonistic rock n' roll lifestyle, either, mainly because the main character doesn't really enjoy that lifestyle other than for a brief time after his conversion. In addition, the main character ends up trying to kill himself – definitely not pious or forgivable – to end his suffering. Finally, the devil isn't really evil; other than changing the terms of his contract with the main character, he's just giving people what they want and there's really nothing wrong with that. Then again, maybe I'm just being amoral and maybe Oh, God! You Devil is a Misunderstood Masterpiece!

Join me next week when I look at what happens when someone else makes a deal with the devil . . . but at least this time the devil is a HOT CHICK. See you then!