The Bullseye 3.31.07: Cop, Doctor, Lawyer

Posted by Scotty Flamingo on 03.31.2007

The Paper, Rock, and Scissors of TV Drama.

Do you have a certain movie, show, or celebrity that you hate, but you don't see much criticism about? We're not talking Paris Hilton here. Everyone hates her. This column is about those things that seem to slip though the cracks of the critics, or are overly praised by lovesick fanboys. This is The Bullseye.

Hello munchkins, it's about that time again for another terrific targeting of the terrible. I'm Scotty and this week, I'm not going after a specific show or movie, but rather a convention overly used by televised drama.

So I saw Blades of Glory last night. This really wasn't at the top of my must see list or anything, but I had some friends going and almost never turn down a movie. The story is completely predictable with a paint-by-numbers script. In fact, it is practically Talladega Nights with skating. However, the bottom line with these movies are if they are funny or not, and I laughed plenty of times at Blades. Farrell is hilarious every time he is on the screen and I think it is only a matter of time before he becomes the highest paid star in comedies. Jon Heder is also quite good and has finally proven that he can play something besides Napoleon.

This week's DVD purchase was Rocky Balboa. I love this movie and have watched it 2 more times since buying it (once with commentary, once without). I get the feeling that a better version is coming down the road though. Stallone mentions a "director's cut" a couple of times in the commentary, and there are some noticeable omissions such as the trailers for the film. Stallone does great commentary though, and I really wish he'd go back and do tracks for Rocky II, III, and IV (hell, I might even watch V again if he'd do one, just to see what he said about it).

I only got one reader email this week, and it was an odd one.


The Ricochet

This comes from a man only known as Enkil…

"Don't count me as a Paris Hilton hater.
I don't hate a beautiful, rich and famous woman named Paris Hilton. The opposite, I hate the Paris Hilton haters like you."

Of all the things I thought I'd get heat about from this column, the weekly intro was not one of them. Do I really even need to address this? Ok, I hardly consider Hilton to be beautiful. I went to high school with girls that looked better than her and I'm from a small town. She has a very generic look to her and her eyes are void of any intelligence or personality whatsoever.

Moving right along.


The Quickshot

This week's target for the Quickshot is Gwen Stefani. I don't see how one singer can come up with so many horrible songs. She has a talent for sticking some sort of annoying hook in every song. Add to that her Betty Boop voice and you have a singer that I wish would just gargle kerosene. You can trace this back to he No Doubt days with "Hey Baby Hey", possibly the worst song of all time (and I include novelty songs like I'm Too Sexy and Disco Duck in that statement). No that's she's solo, it's like she's unrestrained from being annoying whether it's throwing in lines like WOOOO HOOOO, YEEEEE HOOOOOO in The Sweet Escape or just yodeling for no apparent reason.

Here's to you Ms. Stefani, you are this week's Quickshot!


Cop, Doctor, Lawyer

There's a term used by the suits in Hollywood to refer to Drama shows on television, Cop Doctor Lawyer. That's because the majority of hour long TV dramas focus on law enforcement, hospitals, or law firms. You'd be hard pressed to find many dramatic shows that don't fall into one of these categories.
Let's take a quick look at TV Dramas that are currently on the tube.

Grey's Anatomy – Doctor
CSI: Miami – Cop
NCIS – Cop
Criminal Minds – Cop
CSI: NY – Cop
Cold Case – Cop
Without a Trace – Cop
The Law and Order shows – Lawyer
House – Doctor
ER - Doctor

And that is just what is on TV right now. If you wanna go back in history, the trend has been going on for years with you NYPD Blue and Hill street Blues as your Cop shows, or St. Elsewhere or Chicago Hope as your Doctor Shows, and you Matlocks and Perry Masons bringing up the Lawyer end.
Hollywood tries to be clever and put some twists on these shows. The big trend now is not so much traditional Cop shows as what is a subgenre of the Cop show, the Forensic show. So while shows like CSI may not be traditional boys in blue fare, they still follow the same conventions, and for that, I consider them Cop shows.

Are all of these shows bad? No, of course not. One of my favorite shows is The Shield. Now while that show is a twist on the Cop genre with it focusing on dirty cops, it is still a Cop show. It isn't the individual shows that I have so much of a problem with as it is the lack of creativity. I want to have choices, I want to be able to have a variety. Even if there are shows that I have no interest in like Ugly Betty, I'd rather it be there than yet another show about promiscuous lawyers.

There is plenty of evidence that television audiences are tired of the trend. Witness HBO's constant stream of critically acclaimed shows. The trend started with The Sopranos, and show that is the complete opposite of the Cop portion of the equation. HBO followed with a string of programming that brushed aside the CDL conventions. You have Deadwood (a western), Rome (focusing on ancient Rome), Carnivale (a supernatural thriller), Oz (a show taking place in prison), and Six Feet Under (a show that takes place in a funeral home). Other pay cable networks like Showtime have followed the trend with their own unique programming such as shows like Dead Like Me, and Dexter.

Even network television is beginning to get the hint with shows like Lost, Ugly Betty and Desperate Housewives thinking outside the box and becoming big hits. Unfortunately, the other major hit is Grey's Anatomy, but I guess old habits die hard.

Tomorrow is April Fool's Day and here at the Bullseye, I've decided to devote the entire month of April to turning the Bullseye on its head. Next month, each edition of The Eye (what cool kids call it) will be the exact opposite of my usual columns. That means I'll focus on something I like that I think is underrated or overly criticized. Stay tuned!