Ask 411 Movies for 4.2.07: April Fool’s! (See I’m a day late, that’s the joke)

Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 04.02.2007

Dead Like Me, TMNT, time travel movies, books not on film, the best Best Pictures and maggots

Our bit of YouTube silliness this week comes from my friend Veronica. It's Star Wars recut with Vader's lines dubbed with James Earl Jones' dialogue from other films. I'm not sure all of the films used, but I detect lines from The Great White Hope, Coming to America, Field of Dreams and A Piece of the Action.



Q: Wow.
What happened to all the questions?
Hopefully these will help.

The first question is one that has been bugging me for awhile. I remember a movie I watched on HBO in the early 80's (may have been earlier). The plot had several members of a family, all are now elderly, have gone back to their old house to release their brother that had been locked away for doing something horrible. The brother that had been locked up turned out to be with them, posing as another member of the family. I believe that he starts killing off the other members of the family. Sorry about the lame description, I was pretty young. If it helps I think that Vincent Price and maybe Christopher Lee were in the movie.

Second question, I was a big fan of the series Dead like me. I was wondering if the lead actress in the series is currently acting in anything else or has anything upcoming. By the way, I am still pissed that it got cancelled.

Third question, there was a movie in the early 80's I need help identifying. It was a fantasy based movie. The main character had a sword with a green gem at that bottom of the handle. In one scene the sword is on the ground, then the sword floats up to his hand. He had a few people with him that were all different. An elf, a thief, and a giant, and a one handed guy with a crossbow. I believe that they were defending a church or convent.

Last question, the movie is early 80's (tired of these yet). The main character had a sword that had 3 blades. At one point the 2 blades on the side shot out. I know, it sounds cheezy.

Any help would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Dusty

A: Georgia Lass on "Dead Like Me" was played by Ellen Muth. After "Dead Like Me" ended Muth took some time off from acting to finish school. She doesn't have any projects on the horizon, but according to a fan website I found Muth will be singing lead vocals on a song for a band yet to be named on their upcoming album. My guess is Mitch Ryder and the Detroit Wheels. Muth, 26 earlier this month, was born in Connecticut. Her father is a noted ophthalmologist and philanthropist. Muth was hired by the Ford modeling agency at the age of 12 and from there got into some acting. Her big break came as the young Selena in Delores Clairborne in 1995. From there she made several indie films and a handful of television appearances before landing the lead in "Dead Like Me" 2003.



Your first film sounds like The Oblong Box from 1969. Sir Julian Markham (Vincent Price) keeps his disfigured brother Edward (Alister Williamson) locked in a tower in his house. Edward's face was warped by a voodoo curse. Edward escapes and robs graves for an evil doctor (Christopher Lee) while wearing a red hood to hide his disfigured face. Edward is found out when he starts killing off townspeople for more bodies.



Your second film is Hawk the Slayer from 1980. Hawk (John Terry) has his father and new bride killed by his evil brother Voltan (Jack Palance). He recruits a motley crew to help him gain vengeance in Gort the giant (Bernard Bresslaw), Crow the elf (Ray Charleson), Baldin the dwarf (Peter O'Farrell) and a one armed man with a machine powered super crossbow (William Morgan Sheppard).



Your last movie is The Sword and the Sorcerer from 1982. Prince Talon (Lee Horsley) is hired by Princess Alana (Kathleen Beller) to dethrone evil Prince Mikah (Simon MacCorkindale) and his war chancellor Machelli (George Maharis) and their sorcerer ally Xusia (Richard Moll). Moll only appears in the beginning of the film and dubs a stand-in for later scenes. He had an allegoric reaction to the contacts he had to wear and was hospitalized. Stuntman Jack Tyree died during the film when he jumped off of a cliff and missed the airbag.



Q: Mr. Hayhurst,

Okay ... since you're now having to resort to yelling to have us loyal readers to send you questions, here we go ...

There's a catch, though, in that it's really a TV question and that's why I haven't sent it in yet ... but I digress ...

There was a show on when I was younger that really started my fascination with time travel.
I cannot for the life of me remember what the name of this show was and I'm starting to think that it's a little obscure as no one I ask recalls it.
From what I can recall, it had this guy, a time traveler, who ended up in our time (if it was set in the 'present' it would have been the 80s) and had, what I remember to be, a pocket watch that allowed him to travel through time.
He met this kid in our time and then it gets fuzzy ... I can't remember if the kid went with him - although I believe that to be the case - or if that was just the pilot and the show was of the Hulk/The Fugitive vein where he met new people week after week.
To be honest, I don't really recall any other specific episodes so I may just vividly remember the pilot but I remember being totally enthralled with the whole idea of time travel at such a young age.

Any ideas on what this may be?

If you have no other questions and are looking to kill space:

Any decent time travel movies out there that some of us may not have seen or heard of?

Keep up the great work - and thanks for doing this week after week even though you get no questions sometimes! THAT'S dedication!
-Elvis Foley

A: Your television show is "Voyagers!" which ran for 20 episodes in 1982. Phineas Bogg (Jon-Erik Hexum) was a pirate hundreds of years ago who was recruited by a futurist group called the Voyagers. They travel through time and fix things that are wrong. He travels through the help of a pocket watch looking device called the omni. It flashes red when something is wrong in the time period and place Bogg is at. It malfunctions and throws him farther in history than he should be able to go to 1982. He befriends 12 year old Jeffrey Jones (Meeno Peluce). Jeff's dog eats Bogg's guidebook. Jeff then falls out of a window. Bogg dives out to save him and activates the omni, sending them through time. Without his guidebook, Bogg can't get Jeff back and doesn't know what he's supposed to do. Fortunately, Jeff's dad was a history professor and the kid knows a good bit of what is supposed to happen. So they fix time as they go from place to place. It sounds like a cross of "the Greatest American Hero" and "Quantum Leap." Check out the credit sequence from YouTube.



It's hard to say what people have seen or heard of. I'll safely skip the Back to the Future series and throw you out a few other time travel based films.



A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court (1949): The Mark Twain story has been adapted several times for film and television. The most popular version starred Bing Crosby as a man from 1912 teleported back in time to the era of King Arthur after a bump on the head. He uses his knowledge of modern technology and society to endear himself to the king (Cedric Hardwicke) while romancing his niece (Rhonda Fleming). The movie is naturally a musical and Crosby did score a hit with "Once and For Always" from it.



Time After Time (1979): HG Wells (Malcolm McDowell) just didn't write about a time machine, he really built one. Jack the Ripper (David Warner) travels in it to modern day San Francisco. Wells feels guilty about his device allowing him to escape and gives chase. Wells befriends bank teller Amy (Mary Steenburgen) who catches him up on the current time period and helps him track Jack. McDowell and Steenburgen were later married, but it didn't last long. Events could have went down different as the studio eventually wanted Sally Field and Richard Dreyfuss in the leads while director Nicholas Meyer wanted his girlfriend Shelley Hack and Derek Jacobi. If you like the film, I would recommend you also check out The Seven Percent Solution from Meyer based on his novel about Sherlock Holmes seeking help from Sigmund Freud for his opium addiction.



Somewhere in Time (1980): Playwright Richard Collier (Christopher Reeve) meets an old woman at the debut of his first play who gives him a pocket watch and asks him to come back to her. Several years later he researches her to find out that she was a famous actress at the turn of the century named Elise McKenna (Jane Seymour). Collier employs self hypnosis (lamest time travel method ever) to travel back in time to 1912 where McKenna was doing a show at a summer resort. The two meet and fall in love to the chagrin of McKenna's agent (Christopher Plummer). With two stars named Christopher it was devised that Plummer would be referred to by all as Mr. Plummer, while Reeve was known affectionately as Bigfoot. While filming on location in upper Michigan the local theater showed Superman as a special event. Reeve and Seymour attended. When sound went out on the picture halfway through Reeve got up and did all the dialogue for all parts verbatim live. That would be cool to see. Tell me Christopher Reeve wasn't a talented actor?



Time Bandits (1981): Kevin (Craig Warnock) discovers a group of dwarves in his closet. They have stolen a map to the time holes in the universe from the Supreme Being (Ralph Richardson) and are using it to find treasure. Kevin goes adventuring with them through time until they must eventually combat the Evil Genius (David Warner). Director Terry Gilliam calls in a lot of favors to provide an all star cast of John Cleese, Sean Connery, David Rappaport, Shelley Duvall, Katherine Helmond, Ian Holm, Michael Palin, Kenny Baker and Jim Broadbent. Gilliam had penned a script for a sequel he abandoned when Rappaport and Jack Purvis passed away.



Timerider: The Adventure of Lyle Swann (1982): Lyle Swann (Fred Ward) is transported back in time due to two cannons that shoot temporal energy (second lamest time travel method ever). He winds up in 1877 and falls for Claire (Belinda Bauer). She is kidnapped by bandits (led by Peter Coyote) and he uses his dirt bike to rescue her. The film was written and provided with a soundtrack by Michael Nesmith, a very underrated creative talent. Some reports have Julianne Moore in the flick somewhere.



The Philadelphia Experiment (1984): Based on an urban legend, during World War II the US government works on an experiment to make a naval destroyer turn invisible. The botched experiment sends two sailors (Michael Pare and Bobby Di Cicco) forty years into the future. A 1993 sequel replaced Pare with Brad Johnson. In that a naval ship in the current time undergoing a similar invisibility experiment is transported back to World War II Germany and helps the Nazis win the war.



Frankenstein Unbound (1990): Roger Corman returned to the directing chair after several years. Dr. Joe Buchanan (John Hurt) is working on what is to be the ultimate weapon in 2031. It malfunctions and causes time anomalies. One zaps Buchanan and his car back to 1817 Switzerland. He falls for a young Mary Shelley (Bridge Fonda) and also befriends the real Dr. Frankenstein (Raul Julia). Buchanan assists Frankenstein in his experiments and transports himself and the Monster (Nick Brimble) to a future frozen wasteland.

Q: Question for Ask 411 Movies

I remember seeing a clip from a movie on a show about animal special effects. As close as I can recall it was set in the future, either on a spaceship or in a facility and a guy was grabbing his stomach and wincing in pain, while one or two women looked one. Eventually his stomach burst and thousands of maggots spilled out. Any idea what movie this is from?

Thanks,
-Ethan

A: Are you serious or just messing with my mind because I was asking for questions. That is a very famous scene from the movie Alien. The character whose stomach blows up is Kane (John Hurt) who would later parody the scene in a cameo in Spaceballs. The two women would be Sigourney Weaver and Veronica Cartwright. Originally Cartwright was going to play Ripley, but the unknown Weaver tested very well. I don't specifically remember maggots being in that scene, but maggots do play a part in breaking down the human bodies for the aliens to absorb and there is a later scene where Ian Holm as the robot Ash explodes and shoots out all manner of stuff. If for some reason the clip you saw is from another movie it's a direct Alien rip-off to be sure.

Q: Here's a couple questions for you.

How many Best Picture winners do you agree with? As in, you would consider that movie the best of that year?

I was watching Once Upon a Time in America when I noticed something strange. Elizabeth McGovern plays the love interest and Jennifer Connelly plays the character as a kid. The strange part was Jennifer Connelly completely stole the part from McGovern. To the point where you don't like the character as much when she turns into McGovern. Can you think of any other movies where the no-name playing the character as a kid outdid the name actor playing the character as an adult?
-Justin

A: I think you can make an argument for or against any film that won best picture and for the others that were nominated. I think a better question would be what ones I totally don't agree with. Usually the film sited as the worst movie to ever win the award is The Greatest Show on Earth, which was thanks to a sympathy vote for long time director Cecil B. DeMille. High Noon and The Quiet Man from the same year were much better movies. Chariots of Fire is usually marked a surprise winner because people were rooting for the underdog. I probably would have went with Reds. Naturally I would have went with Citizen Kane over How Green Was My Valley. Oliver! had no business going over The Lion in Winter. Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption both were better than Forrest Gump, hell I'd throw Quiz Show and Nobody's Fool in there too. Everything else you can say I don't have an active problem with. If I really have to give the Academy credit on going for a film that wasn't considered the frontrunner that to me was the best film of the year, I would say An American in Paris, which has the greatest finale of any musical and Gene Kelly's best acting performance.

Ellen Muth played the young Selena in Delores Claiborne as mentioned above, so I would put her in the conversation. I'll give you a strange one. Keith Coogan and Corey Feldman as the young Tod and Copper in The Fox and the Hound gave perfect vocal performances that really defined the characters while Kurt Russell and Mickey Rooney are bland and miscast as the adult versions. Both Corey Carrier and David Barry Gray gave more accurate and sympathetic portrayals of Richard Nixon in Nixon as opposed to Anthony Hopkins' lazy performance. He doesn't have to do a straight out Nixon impression, but I never felt he really got to the core of the character. Check out Phillip Baker Hall in Secret Honor for a good Nixon portrayal. That's really all I can think of off the top of my head. Readers be sure to write in if you can think of more.

Q: Leonard o'God de la Movies,

Yeah, there has been a serious lacking lately. Could it be you have answered every question for every movie, ever? I hope not, since I love you column! Let's see what I can do to help, even if my questions are lame.

1. Taking only "normal" movies into consideration, and not hardcore porn, which movies have notoriety for a couple having actual sex on-screen and getting away with it upon release? I can only think of the Carre Otis/whatshisnamefromSinCity in "Wild Orchid."

2. If you could cast any WWE wrestler currently employed by Vinnie Mac in any movie past or present or future, whom would you pick, what kind of movie would you put him/her in, the plot, co-stars, director, and would you expect good financial returns? Oh, the wrestler could be not actively in the ring, just be employed by the "E."

3. Everybody seems to agree that "Casino Royale" was the best 007 movie in a long time, and I agree. I would also say that all the really, truly, great Bond flicks have been based on Ian Fleming original stories. OK, with the exceptions of "License to Kill" and "Goldeneye." Would it be fair to say, then, that the producers, after their proposed trilogy with Daniel Craig is done, should seriously consider either John Gardner, Raymond Benson, or Kingsley Amis for further source material?

4. Name 5 popular novels that you should be made into big screen or mini-series movies, and why.

5. I don't remember who said it, but someone did once say that Arnold Schwartzenegger could, if he wanted to, play any role, even Shakespeare. Then there was that scene in "Last Action Hero" to send that idea up. If you were a producer charged with putting Ah-nuld in you movie, what role would you give him, would you make him change his accent, how old would your Arnie be (from his "Conan" age up to the present) and who would you pick to direct?

6. Alright, admit it. You are like most people, that when you see a trailer for a movie, you say to yourself: OMFG, what were they thinking? That movie will suck! Then the movie does, bombs horribly, and dies even on DVD. Why do you think studios and producers make these kinds of movies? Most of them sound horrid even on paper!

7. NEWS! thanks to this very fine site of 411mania, I found out about the possible Freddy/Jason/Micheal movie. What happened to adding Ash from "Evil Dead"/"Army of Darkness"?

8. Speaking of crossovers in movies, what are the chances of doing big screen crossovers based on some very successful crossover comic books like Batman/Predator? Fan film director Sandy Collera made the excellent short film "Batman: Dead End" that had Walter Koenig's son as the Joker, plus both Predators and Aliens. A fanboy can dream, can't I?

OK, hopefully that fills half a column or so to get you started!
-Paul

1) The guy from Sin City was Mickey Rourke. The most famous instance of two people actually having sex on screen in a legitimate movie are Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie in Don't Look Now while both were an item. Additionally, Vincent Gallo gets a very graphic hummer from Chloe Sevigny in Brown Bunny. Both are debatable on their legitimacy.

2) I commented last week on The Marine and feel that John Cena could be a serviceable action star. Any of their guys could be really. WWE films just needs to shell out for better directors and writers to produce higher quality movies. I had also mentioned before that Triple H would make a good Non in the Superman Returns sequel. Triple H was also up to play Conan, which he would make a good fit for. Stacy Keibler would be a good Hawkgirl, but she's not with WWE now. I guess when you think of WWE wrestlers in films you go immediately to fantasy and comic book characters. Bobby Lashley can only hope for an Amazing Man film.

3) I have Casino Royale from Netflix, but haven't had time to watch it yet. It's certainly not a bad idea to turn to the James Bond novels not done by Ian Fleming, but it would probably work better to hire Raymond Benson to do an original screenplay or write a novel with the intentions of turning it into a script. I think a lot of purists and even casual Bond fans would reject a movie based on a non-Fleming novel, especially how the media would present it. Sherlock Holmes movies not based on Arthur Conan Doyle stories are usually ripped apart by fans and critics for a precedent.

4) Dude, I don't read books. I ‘m too busy watching movies. I'll try to give a response.

Roadkill by Kinky Friedman: Friedman is one of my favorite authors and his humorous detective novels would make a great film series, probably as a television series like the old mystery movie wheel shows. Best part is that Friedman can easily play himself. Elvis, Jesus and Coca-Cola and The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover are better books, but this one would have the most quirky mainstream appeal. Friedman becomes a bodyguard for his old buddy Willie Nelson when he receives death threats.

The Autumn of the Patriarch by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: This would perhaps be easier than Love in the Time of Cholera and 100 Years of Solitude to develop into a film by the author who dabbles in hyper-realism and intense descriptive passages. This is due to it having the central plotline of a South American dictator who seems almost god-like in his power and presence. I could certainly see this getting the green light if Fidel Castro kicks the bucket as a parallel story. It's also a great role that many actors would leap at. Sean Connery in Highlander mode comes to mind.

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut.: Richard Kelly of Donnie Darko did a treatment of the novel for Leonardo Di Caprio's Appian Way company, but it seems to have stalled out. Current word has James and Jake Hart working on a new script. The book deals with a man researching a book on the fictional creator of the atomic bomb and discovering a substance he invented called Ice Nine that could end civilization as we know it. Wait a minute…I think I saw this already with Keanu Reeves.

Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka: Kafka's most well known and best work deals with an average man who awakes one day to find that he has become a giant cockroach. That can easily be done in today's computerized world, but the trick would be for it not to be campy. David Lynch talked about making it for years. I think David Cronenberg would be a good choice. Orson Welles also mentioned doing it after he had made The Trial, which is very good.

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole: Doing a film on the background of the book might be even better than adapting the book itself. Toole committed suicide because he couldn't see the novel. It was finally published 11 years later when his mother found the manuscript and pushed it. The novel revolves around Ignatius living in New Orleans in the sixties. He's intelligent, but slothful and must finally find a job. Several possible film deals have been made over the years and there are rumors that the book is cursed as John Belushi, John Candy and Chris Farley were all up for the part before their deaths. Will Ferrell was most recently up for the role in a movie by David Gordon Green from a script by Steven Soderburgh and Scott Kramer. Rights issues halted this version, but a table read with several notable actors was done at the Nantucket Film Festival in 2005.

5) It's been said that anyone could play Shakespeare, then Keanu Reeves did Much Ado About Nothing and shot that theory. Arnie can't lose his accent, so that's not even a question. You just have to put him in a role where it doesn't matter. One of my favorite guilty pleasure films is Commando. Alyssa Milano and Rae Dawn Chong are still viable actresses, so let's do a sequel. John McTiernan can direct as he was the original choice for the first movie. Have Bennett's son (to make you happy let's put a porn star mustache on Randy Orton) kidnap Milano to get revenge on John Matrix for killing his dad. He then reunites with Chong who he married after the first film, but has since divorce to rescue her. Or he goes to Chong for help to find her dead and enlists the aide of her daughter played by Rosario Dawson. Straight and simple. Since it's been awhile for a picture, let's toss up one of Milano.



6) Hollywood is a strange place and a lot of movies get made not so much on the quality or potential of quality, but more on who knows who and can get stuff done. However, no one goes into a film with the intentions of making a crappy movie and usually extenuating circumstances serve to defeat it. Sometimes it's just bad luck and a series of a terrible decisions and events. Other times are directors or producers who have a poor vision. Jon Peters is usually sited as the man who sunk Wild, Wild West with his idea of a giant mechanical spider and such (which he wanted in the Superman Lives script by Kevin Smith). The Avengers tested really poorly at two and a half hours and was hacked down by the studio to a slim 89 minutes to try and save some face, but it made matters go from bad to worse. In any walk of life you're not going to hit a homerun every time out.

7) Both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell thought that putting Ash against Freddy and Jason was a terrible idea and kyboshed it.

8) 20th Century Fox owns the film rights to Predator and Alien right now, which they utilized in the Alien vs. Predator movie. Their parent company is Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation. Warner Brothers owns the film rights to Batman as parent company Time-Warner owns DC Comics. Those two conglomerates are rivals, so that film is probably never going to go down. The biggest problem with major film crossovers is who has the rights to what and in what media. One roadblock to getting The Hobbit made by New Line was that Sony still had DVD rights to any movie they would make due to the option rights MGM had to the property in the seventies and eighties.

Q: Hey. With the new TMNT having just came out, I had the urge to go back and watch my old VHS' of the original movies. I was just wondering, what can you tell me about these movies? Any interesting facts, tidbits, rumors, etc? Was Splinter a puppet or a human in a costume like the turtles? Did they consider bringing Shredder back for the third one but instead went with the lame Turtles in Time gimmick?
Thanks
-Bobby

A:


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990): The original film combined elements of the comic book and cartoon series. In the comics April was an assistant of a scientist who was an enemy of the turtles, while in the film and in the cartoon she was a news reporter. April is played by Judith Hoag here in the first film, but she declined to come back for the sequels due to a lot of scenes being edited out of the original to give the turtles more time. The four men who play the turtles appear out of costume as extras elsewhere in the movie. Shredder was indeed a man in a suit, played by James Saito. Casey Jones was noted character actor Elias Koteas who already this year can be seen in Zodiac and Shooter. The movie is filmed with a lot of little in references. The boxes in the Foot Clan warehouse have Mirage written on them, which is the company that produced the comics. Toward the end of the movie the police chief is told to check "East Warehouse on Lairdman Island." The TMNT creators were Kevin Eastman and Peter Laird. At the time, it was the highest grossing independent film ever with $133 million.



Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991): April is taken over by Paige Turco. You will be interested to know that Super Shredder is played by professional wrestler Kevin Nash. Ernie Reyes, Jr. has a prominent role in this film, thanks to the producers like him so much as Donatello's fight double on the first film. Bebop and Rocksteady from the cartoon was intended for this sequel, but Eastman and Laird didn't like the characters and created Tokka and Rahzar to replace them. The movie is dedicated to Jim Henson, who worked on the costumes and models. The entrance of April's apartment building shown in the film is actually Henson's creature shop in New York. The movie features Vanilla Ice's screen debut, who does the theme song. The original ending of the movie had scientist Jordon Perry played by David Warner to be an Utrom. This was dropped due to budget constraints and the fact that kids might think he was Krang from the cartoons.



Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles in Time (1993): Turco stays on as April with Koteas back as Jones. In the film April mistakenly travels back in time due to a scepter to feudal Japan. The turtles follow to save her and stop a war between Japan and English traders. The seed for the story comes from a crossover story in the comics with the turtles and Cerebus, where the turtles travel back in time with the Sacred Sands of Time Scepter. Shredder did not appear in this movie as he ‘died' in the last film and out of the series. The movie was poorly received by critics and fans due to the silly plot, less action and a drop in production values. New Line and Trauma studios battled over rights to the franchise with this film as New Line tried to use a proposed Toxic Crusaders film as leverage to muscle Trauma. The matter was settled out of court for an undisclosed amount.

Thanks for the questions and don't die.
"Ninety years ago I was a freak. Today, I'm an amateur."