The Doctor in the Hallway News Report 04.04.07
Posted by Ben Moser on 04.04.2007
And now...the Bachelor Party Edition!
Welcome, kids, to the bachelor party edition of The Doctor in the Hallway News Report. As I alluded to last week, I'll be getting myself hitched soon. In an effort to be helpful with my wedding, be in my wedding, and enjoy my honeymoon, I'll be taking a few weeks away from giving you the news you come here craving each and every Wednesday. I'm sure a suitable substitute will surface; but if not, have no fear for I shall return in time for the marathon summer movie session where I can tell you what to think about all of the blockbusters the summer has to offer.
So what makes this the bachelor party edition of The Doctor in the Hallway News Report? Simple. With each of this week's stories, I shall find a way to link the story to a celebrity that it would have been nice to have had at my real live bachelor party as the entertainment. So, you know, just another 411 writer using whatever excuse he can find to put some skin in his column.
Maybe he'll scream in a funny voice!
Adam Sandler will topline Disney's family comedy Bedtime Stories, set to begin production later this year with Adam Shankman helming.
Sandler will portray a harried real estate developer whose life is suddenly turned upside down when the lavish bedtime stories he tells his niece and nephew begin to come true. Matt Lopez scripted.
I'm not an Adam Sandler fan. I'm kind of the opposite of that. I would even go so far as to say that this kind of movie plays away from his strengths when trying to convince an Adam Sandler fan that it wasn't going to be worth the time. But people love him doing this kind of nonsense. They talk about Big Daddy like it's some kind of modern equivalent to The Jerk. Adam Sandler seems to have reached a kind of untouchability with his fans. At this point, I'm willing to say that he could make a snuff film involving 2 old ladies in wheel chairs, a goat, and Norm MacDonald and people would tell me it was great.
Bachelor Party! - We all know Adam Sandler made a name for himself on SNL. So did my current longest-standing celebrity crush Tina Fey…
I'm funnier than Sandler and hotter than Pete Samprass' wife.
Aunt May better make more cookies
Forget the Ziegfeld, or even Bay Ridge. This month, Queens will host the U.S. premiere of Spider-Man 3.
The event, slated for Queens because it is Peter Parker's hometown, is set for April 30, four days before the pic's May 4 global bow. It is part of both the Tribeca Film Festival and "Spider-Man Week in NYC," a co-venture by the city and Columbia Pictures.
Not bad. I'd rather the flick debuted in beautiful suburban Durham, but we can't all get what we want. Wait until you see where they debut Hellboy. That's right…Toledo, OH.
Bachelor Party! - Kirsten Dunst is totally hot in that "she's hotter than most girls, but still totally accessible" way. Also? She's in Spider-Man 3.
You wish I was accessible, Moser.
A crime only a Hero can solve
Milo Ventimiglia and Lauren Lee Smith have been cast as the leads in Lakeshore's thriller Pathology.
Commercials director Mark Scholermann is making his feature helming debut.
The story is about a group of med students who hatch a scheme to see who can commit the perfect crime -- one that even a fellow pathologist couldn't unravel.
Oooh! Reverse CSI! In movie form! And directed by a guy who's only done commercials! I can see it now. They're trying to figure out how not to leave flecks of skin at the crime scene, when suddenly Ventimiglia gets his intense Peter Petrelli face and adds:
"Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Snickers."
Bachelor Party! - Ali Larter rocks out with Ventimiglia on Heroes, but I've had her on the short list since Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
I'm right up your Ali(see what I did?)
Nothing can stop the might of…EBERT!!!
Pulitzer Prize-winning film critic Roger Ebert said he plans a "return to action" at his upcoming Overlooked Film Festival in Illinois later this month as he continues recovering from cancer surgery.
"I'll watch from the audience," he said in a posting on Tuesday on his Web site, rogerebert.com.
"I think of the festival as the first step on my return to action. Because I will be under scrutiny there, I'll tell you what to expect: a sick guy, getting better, who still loves the movies and the festival," Ebert added.
Ebert, 64, posted the statement dated April 2, to mark the 40th anniversary of his being named film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times. He said roughly nine months have passed since his latest surgery for salivary cancer, and his recovery "has been a long and unexpected ordeal."
"I plan to gradually increase my duties in the months to come. I still love writing about the movies. Forty years is not enough," he said.
I think it's absolutely great that a guy has been able to make his love of movies an industry. I think it's great that 40 years later, he still loves doing it. I can only hope that if I'm still doing this in 40 years, I'm finally collecting a paycheque for sharing this much awesome with you teeming masses.
Bachelor Party! - Okay. Here's a reach. Roger is recovering from cancer. Astrologically speaking, Angelina is a changeable Gemini with a late Cancer Ascendant. So there you go.
How could you marry someone other than me Ben? It's so sad!
ex-X-Files fans rejoice!
David Duchovny has confirmed a sequel to The X-Files movie is in the works - with himself and Gillian Anderson reprising the characters that made them famous. The actor, who played Agent Fox Mulder in both the cult TV series and 1998 movie, reveals X-Files creator Chris Carter and writer Frank Spotnitz are busy working on a script for the new film. The news comes after weeks of speculation surrounding Anderson's involvement in the project. Duchovny says, "This week, they're starting some kind of road towards doing it (the film). Gillian and I both want to be in it now. We're happy to do it. At this point all of the kind of fatigue and anxiety that we had towards the end of a nine-year run is gone." He jokes, "We've forgotten why we hate one another and can only remember why we love one another and we're very happy to go back. Chris and Frank are going over the story. It's a story they've had for a few years but we haven't all settled on the fact that we wanted to do it, so now they're hammering it out."
The truth, apparently, is still out there. It's good to know that it will be ferreted out by good old-fashioned FBI agents rather than stuffy forensics jerks, comic book super heroes, and children like in all the other movies about mysteries out there.
You want a real mystery? How was such a good show given such a bad movie? Maybe this will redeem it all. Not just the movie, but the finish of the show after that. Sweet, sweet redemption.
Bachelor Party! - Oh Gillian Anderson, I did not lust after you the way that most X-Files fans did. No, when I fantasized about you, I wasn't calling you "Scully."
You thought Ali Larter looked good in her Jay and Silent Bob Jumpsuit? Check me out.
You're getting warmer…
Overture Films and Echo Lake Prods. will produce the feature 105 Degrees and Rising, set against the backdrop of the fall of Saigon in 1975.
The story follows several characters struggling to escape the former South Vietnamese capital city (now called Ho Chi Minh City) during the final days of U.S. control as the Vietnam People's Army overran the city.
The title comes from a secret code broadcast over the radio - The announcement that "the temperature is 105 degrees and rising," followed by eight bars of Bing Crosby's "White Christmas," meant all U.S. citizens should immediately evacuate Saigon.
I want a secret code to come over the radio. How about every time a song featuring Akon is followed by a Christina Aguilera song, people everyone should leave a 10-spot on my front door step.
Bachelor Party! - You know, I used to tell people that Christina would wind up being better off than that Spears girl. And it looked like I had lost when Mrs. Federline was selling out arenas and Christina was trying to find new ways to wear less clothes. Who's laughing now?
Room for one more...
That'll do it for this week
A few movies and shows to check out in my absence:
Grindhouse: If this thing is half as fun as it looks like it's going to be, you'll want to watch it 2 or maybe even three times on the big screen. And I never recommend anyone to do that.
The TV Set: I'm not sure if this will be a wide release, it seems someone told me it wouldn't. But if you get it in your area, it may well be worth your time. David Duchovney may yet end up using this as a springboard out of being "that guy from the X-Files. What? Oh, the sequel thing. I forgot.
Hot Fuzz: I would recommend this based on my love for Shaun of the Dead alone, but the previews suggest that it's an absolute scream in its own right. Watch it.
Vacancy: Only if you're bored. I have a feeling this one will surprise people and actually be pretty good. But if you drop the $8 on it and it sucks, don't blame me.
Lost: They've figured out that it can be an entertaining show without forced plot points and ridiculous love triangles while still slowly telling a bigger story. Good for them!
Heroes: I'm a little geeked up that this show will be back by the time I return from the honeymoon. Absolutely a great show and I can't wait to see where it's all going and how they'll get there.
That's it. Take care. See you in a month, give or take a little bit. Until then, don't do anything I wouldn't do.
(this week's sources: Variety, Hollywood Reporter, IMDB, Dark Horizons)
