Misunderstood Masterpieces: Trial and Error

Posted by Will Helm on 06.12.2007

…or, Mr. Richards, I Promise That This Column Does Not Constitute Heckling

When I first scheduled this film in my docket, I thought it was the perfect centerpiece of the "Crime & Punishment" trilogy I had planned. Of course, much like First Daughter a few years ago, extenuating circumstances intervened to make this endeavor far more interesting. Even though the story is still pretty well known, please allow me to explain. Back in November, Michael Richards, star of Seinfeld, Transylvania 6-5000, and UHF . . . as well as today's film, was performing a comedy set at the vaunted Laugh Factory in Los Angeles. After a bit of rude heckling, Richards elected to go on a racial-epithet-fueled tirade to "defuse" the situation. Of course, like pouring gasoline on an open flame, this didn't work out too well and, hence, the former Kramer got himself into a little hot water . . . and back into the news.

Things were a lot simpler back in 1997, however, when today's film was released to theaters. Back then, Mr. Richards was just the hilarious and inscrutable Cosmo Kramer and, for no particular reason, he took the plunge back into films. His return foray to the silver screen was the seeming courtroom romp Trial and Error – fittingly constituting the "jurisprudence" portion of the "Crime & Punishment" trilogy – though the film isn't quite what it seems. Though the presence of Richards and Clue-director Jonathan Lynn would presage a wacky comedy, the end result isn't quite so clear. As always, whenever a film has a controversial star and a muddled identity, that can only mean it just may be a Misunderstood Masterpiece. Let's find out!

In some unidentified big city, Charles Tuttle (Jeff Daniels) leaves a board meeting and, on the way back to his office, his harried secretary lists off a bevy of duties for him to fulfill. Already this film isn't starting off well; there's nothing funny about dull office work. Well, unless Bill Lumbergh is involved. As Charlie complains about his desk not being up to his specifications, things pick up as his buddy Richard (Richards, ironically) shows up to lighten the mood. Richard is amazed that Charlie made partner in his law firm – more on that later – while Charlie is amazed that Richard is still trying to be an actor with a strange Mafia fetish. To that end, earlier in the day, Richard had a mob-inspired fight with himself as an audition. Yup.

Richard is on hand not only to congratulate Charlie for his success but also to conspire with him about planning a bachelor party. Ooh . . . chicks and guns and fire trucks . . . etc. Before Richard can reveal any particulars about the soirée, he and Charlie are rudely interrupted by Charlie's fiancée (Alexandra Wentworth), who also happens to be the boss' daughter. Well, that explains how Charlie made partner; isn't nepotism grand? Richard hits on her for a bit, mainly because she doesn't like him, but Charlie, being a stand up guy, stands up for his buddy in her presence.

After Richard and Charlie's fiancée take their leaves, Charlie's fiancée's father – or, less complicatedly, his boss – requests that Charlie head to Nevada to help clear up a little legal family matter. Unfortunately for Charlie and Richard, the impromptu case happens to throw a wrench into plans for the bachelor party . . . unless that was the father's scheme all along! Dum-dum-DUM! Undaunted – and at the boss' mercy, Charlie heads to Nevada and, once there, he sees an allegorical HOT CHICK on a motorcycle driving down a desert highway. Well, the HOT CHICK is really there, but her appearance is an allegory. Or something profound like that.

Charlie retires to his humble hotel room but, once there, he's alarmed to find Richard and a few of Richard's acting buddies on hand for a surprise bachelor party. Though Charlie is reluctant, he eventually acquiesces to Richard's urging and they all head to the local bar. At the watering hole, kindly waitress Charlize Theron hits on Charlie and then she mixes him up a very potent and wacky drink. Through Charlize's mixology and Richard's intervention, Charlie gets drunk. Meanwhile, Richard heads to the bar to hit on some angry chick (Jessica Steen) with a bizarre monologue. He's rudely interrupted in trying to get some, however, when Charlie decides, in a drunken haze, to mediate a dispute over a slot machine and he's pummeled for his troubles.

Later, Richard cares for a quite concussed Charlie back in the hotel room but things take a turn for the worse when Charlie ends up stoned out of his gourd on pain pills. Rush Limbaugh would be proud. Though Charlie is in no condition to act as a counselor, he heads to the courthouse the next day anyway, with Richard in tow. Once at the courthouse, a delirious Charlie comes up with the ingenious scheme of having Richard stand in for him in the courtroom. Richard doesn't want to do it, so Charlie freaks out and then he falls asleep on the lavatory floor. Wow . . . sounds like the average college student's Saturday night.

Richard, not wanting his buddy to fall into his boss' disfavor, bites the bullet and stands in for Charlie as a lawyer for Rip Torn. Much to Richard's chagrin, the prosecutor on the case also happens to be the angry chick from the bar! How wonderfully serendipitous! As she fills the archetype of the angry single chick with a ticking biological clock who's not really happy about that fact, the prosecutor refuses Richard's request for a continuance in the matter and the judge (professional character actor Austin Pendleton) grants her motion, moving the case ahead to jury selection.

At a local diner, Richard recounts what went down in the courtroom moments earlier for Charlie and a now-sober Charlie, unsurprisingly, freaks out. Charlize Theron, conveniently on hand, helps calm Charlie down . . . mainly because she's hot and frequently sans bra. After Charlie returns to some semblance of sanity, Richard proposes that they continue the conspiracy of Richard posing as Charlie, just so that Charlie doesn't get in trouble with his future father-in-law. Back in court, Richard – posing as Charlie – and Charlie – posing as Richard's assistant – do wacky law-inspired things. For example, Richard interviews a potential juror in a very unorthodox manner, much to the judge's amusement. Well, it's nice to see that at least the judge is getting a kick out of the goings-on. That makes one of us.

Later that day, Richard and Charlie visit the D.A. – a.k.a. the angry chick – to chat the case. In addition, Richard bungles his way through a plea bargain as Charlie attempts to prompt him behind the D.A.'s back. Once again, since Richard's law skills aren't up to snuff, he tries to remedy the matter by romancing the D.A. Unsurprisingly, she isn't up to it. Back in court, the D.A. reveals Rip Torn's crime: he sold pennies to unwitting collectors for $17.99. Ah, there's no crime more exciting than mail fraud. After the day's events, Charlie and Richard head back to wherever they started – presumably Los Angeles – because Charlie isn't familiar enough with the case to successfully defend Rip Torn. Charlie's boss isn't exactly open to that idea, so he forces Charlie – and, by association, Richard – to head back to Nevada to finish what they started. Charlie, unsurprisingly, vomits on the roadside a few times after the argument concludes.

Back at the hotel in Nevada, Charlie and Richard argue about their ruse and just how they're going to defend Rip Torn. Somehow, Richard is inspired by a Twinkie . . . which I always thought represented the amount of paranormal activity in the city of New York. Anyway, Richard proposes to Charlie that Twinkies – or junk food in general – made Rip Torn commit gross acts of fraud for the past forty years. Yeah . . . it could work, especially after Charlie has Richard rehearse his opening arguments which he, afterward, performs for the jury. The crux of his argument: Rip Torn is crazy and doesn't know right from wrong. After the day's proceedings, Charlie and Richard watch as the HOT CHICK on the motorcycle drives by once again and, this time, Richard is on hand to helpfully explain her significance to the audience just in case they didn't pick it up the first time.

At the hotel, Charlie lies to Charlize about his job – he says that he's an actor – while Richard gets law advice from an interview with Gerry Spence on television. Apparently, according to Mr. Spence, being a lawyer is just a performance . . . which piques Richard's interest further. Once again in court, Charlie prompts Richard with objections as the D.A. questions her witnesses. Phoenix Wright would be proud . . . until Richard attempts a ham-handed cross-examination, which doesn't turn out very well. During a recess, Charlie scolds Richard for his lack of skills and wanton melodrama but the bailiff compliments Richard's performance, encouraging him even more.

Later, Richard and Charlie chat about their defense plans with Rip Torn and, once again, they argue until Max Casella shows up for no particular reason. I guess he was looking for Doogie Howser . . . and along the way he became a mental-health expert. The presence of Vinnie Delpino isn't enough to calm Charlie's nerves as, a little afterward, he yells at Richard about acting and legal ethics which leads to Charlie insulting Richard's mental capacity. OK, that's just low. Richard doesn't take it, however, as he's busy calling someone for a favor. That evening, Charlize brings Charlie his dinner and he must be colicky because he scolds her for bringing him an incorrectly prepared egg-salad sandwich. After a few moments of berating, Charlize stuffs the sandwich into Charlie's mouth to, quite analogously, pacify him.

In court, the D.A. cross-examines Max Casella and he reveals on the stand that his credentials – especially regarding the case – are particularly lacking. Well, he is just an actor, after all. Just when Charlie thinks that the case is going south in a hurry, Stifler's mom (Jennifer Coolidge) shows up for no particular reason . . . until Richard explains the reason to Charlie. It seems that Stifler's mom, in addition to being a MILF, is also an "expert" in food-related psychoses . . . and New Age medicine. I guess that means Yanni is her pharmacist. On the stand, Stifler's mom explains that food made Rip Torn go crazy – and here I always thought it was the liquor. Stifler's mom's testimony, due to its utter incomprehensibility, causes Charlie and the D.A. to freak out. While the harried judge calms the D.A., he also throws Charlie out of the court, leaving Richard to defend Rip Torn with no outside help.

Charlie isn't content to be remanded from the courtroom, however, as he climbs to the roof of the courthouse while the D.A. cross-examines Stifler's mom. While the D.A. attempts to shoot holes into Stifler's mom's expertise, Stifler's mom responds by quickly analyzing the D.A.'s body chemistry and PMS. The D.A. freaks out at the impromptu diagnosis and the judge – slowly going mad due to the case – freaks out as well. In the meantime, Charlie, now in the ductwork above the courtroom, falls through the ceiling and the judge throws him out of the courtroom – and the courthouse – yet again.

Later that afternoon, Charlize finds Charlie a bloody mess – due to his fall – and sitting on a curb in town. Charlize, rather than driving Charlie to the hospital, instead drives him out to the desert. Ooh . . . she's going to murder him and dump the body! Maybe she could consider this practice for her Oscar-winning role later on or something. It isn't without reason, however, as along the way he stares at her legs and her Leaves of Grass. They eventually end up at her place where she reveals that she's a sort of hippie squatter who didn't go to grad school due to a flat tire. Or that's just the story she uses before the slaughter. Disturbingly, Charlize then takes Charlie out to a junkyard where she pulls a shotgun out of her truck! Charlie states that he doesn't like guns – though I hope he likes buckshot . . . especially when it's ripping into him at high velocity – while Charlize hones her shot on some unsuspecting toilets. Next, she moves her gaze to Charlie and she . . . gives him the gun so he can vent his frustrations on the toilets as well. Whew.

At the hotel, Charlie – enlightened by his time with Charlize – has a bit of a breakthrough with Richard because he doesn't want to end up in the junkyard of life. He wants to be a contender. He wants to be somebody . . . until his fiancée calls while freaking out about discontinued flatware patterns. I think that's a karmic kick in the pants or something or, at least, Charlie does as he summarily hangs up on his harping fiancée. Once more, Charlie and Richard conspire to defend Rip Torn to the best of their collective abilities and, to help them now that Charlie is banned from the court, they adopt baby monitors to aid them. The plan doesn't work out too well, however, as Charlize – who is aware that either Charlie or Richard is getting married sometime in the near future – spirits Charlie away from the courthouse while he's listening in outside and then random car horns – Charlie and Richard's chosen "signal" – make Richard go crazy with objections.

With Charlie not around to aid him, Richard watches in horror as the D.A.'s witnesses tear giant, gaping holes in Rip Torn's defense. Richard, at the end of his rope, gives in to letting Rip Torn testify on his own behalf so Rip Torn takes the stand. Once there, he starts talking about a Halloween party for no particular reason. Apparently, at the Halloween party, Lake Michigan froze over and then he fell off a pier which collapsed on a bunch of fellow orphans. He rescued a bunch of them and then his best friend got adopted but she gave him a Tootsie Roll before she left which he still has in his pocket . . . and it's got to be pretty nasty by now. The judge, who has by now become the most insane one in the room, is amused by Rip Torn's testimony and, much to the D.A.'s horror, the jury is enthralled by his performance. The D.A., perhaps to snap the judge and the jury out of Rip Torn's hypnotic aura, goes batty and nearly gets herself thrown out of court.

Over at the hotel, the D.A. shows up to patronize Richard and she offers a plea bargain because she just doesn't want to deal with the case anymore. In return, Richard offers the D.A. a drink as a token of respect . . . and/or a way to get into her pants. At the bar, the D.A. tells Richard about some old business partner of Rip Torn's who he bilked out of a fortune or something like that. Of course, it's all a lie to get into Richard's head and prove that being a lawyer isn't about what's said but how it's said. Which is pretty much like being an actor. The D.A., probably because she has a crush or something on Richard, mocks his looks like a little schoolgirl – which is more than likely because her level of intimacy is that mature since she had to be a sensible-minded barrister most of her life.

Meanwhile, Charlie and Charlize end up back at the hotel after a lengthy tryst in her trailer. In a park somewhere, Charlie and Richard have a little chat about the plea bargain on the table and Richard reveals that he doesn't like it because Rip Torn deserves to be in prison. Just like Paris Hilton. Charlie, on the other hand, regrets his impending wedding since, now, he's madly in love with Charlize . . . and then he and Richard get sprinkled on. I'm sure there's some sort of symbolic significance to that, but I'm not sure what it is.

Richard, perhaps washed clean of his transgressions due to the sprinkler system – a-ha!, visits the D.A. and he reveals his and Charlie's ruse to her. She feigns having them arrested until he discovers that she's the mythical HOT CHICK on the motorcycle! After discovering this IMPORTANT PLOT POINT, Richard makes out with the D.A. and then he accidentally gives her a concussion by banging her head against her front door. Oops. Elsewhere, at the hotel, Charlie finds his fiancée waiting in his room. It seems that she's gone crazy because the wedding is so close . . . but she does have skimpy lingerie to make up for her insanity. Yes indeed, folks . . . BITCHES BE CRAZY. Before Charlie and his fiancée can get to business, Charlize shows up with a cart full of champagne and she thinks it's for her . . . until she finds the fiancée in Charlie's room! Dum-dum-DUM! Charlize, unsurprisingly, is heartbroken, even though she already kind of knew something like this was coming anyway.

In court the next day, Richard and Rip Torn argue about the plea bargain because Rip Torn wants to see the case to its bitter end. Richard, at Rip Torn's behest, indulges his wishes and he gives an insane closing argument that masquerades a heartfelt motivational speech. Charlie listens in from the wings illicitly and then, emboldened by Richard's words, he breaks up with his fiancée. She doesn't take it very well, though, as she proceeds to beat Richard unmercifully with his own luggage. Charlize, driving by moments later, finds Charlie sitting by the wayside once more and she, like an abuse victim, takes him back. In court, the jury rightly finds Rip Torn guilty while Charlie, down by Charlize's trailer, gives her a tire and tells her the truth, prompting her to reveal that she flunked out of grad school all along. So, is everyone in this film a liar or something? Oh, and Richard and the D.A. end up together after all . . . which might just be grounds for a mistrial. And a sequel.

In the end, Trial and Error is a film about lessons. First and foremost, be honest . . . or, actually, don't get into bar fights that force you to lie to cover up your indiscretions/hangover. In addition, the occupation of lawyer is actually particularly easy, so easy that an actor can eschew years of education and apprenticeship to fool an entire courtroom into believing his performance. Also, some films aren't quite what they appear to be; somehow, wacky courtroom farces can become romantic comedies with little to no warning. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, the film proposes that Charlize Theron is really pretty and doesn't like underwear. And, in the end, isn't learning something new the essence of a Misunderstood Masterpiece?

Join me next week as I go to jail with a raspy-voiced wannabe magician. See you then!