411 Movies Roundtable: July 2007 (Part I)
Posted by Chad Webb on 07.03.2007
The staff supplies their thoughts and opinions on the month of June, and looks at the upcoming July releases!
The Movie Zone Proudly Presents:
The 411mania Movies Roundtable
It is now July, and if you are anything like me, you are out of breath from seeing so many movies. This month will be a little easier to endure, but plenty of blockbusters are still on the way. The theaters are as packed as ever, the concession stands are still expensive and time consuming, and the previews get longer each with each visit. I, for one, am sick of giggling girls and arrogant high school guys. Moving along
In this issue of the roundtable, Jason Chamberlain needs a date for License to Wed, Arnold Furious mentions Stan Bush, everyone is excited for Transformers, and finally someone else points out the hotness of Rhona Mitra. By the way, since Albus Dumbledore is going to appear in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, this months pictures are based on various forms of wizards. Enjoy!
The Month That Was
Scotty Flamingo
Biggest Winner of the Month:
Scotty Flamingo: Steve Perry. The king of the 80's suddenly becomes relevant again after "Don't Stop Believing" is prominently used in the Sopranos finale.
Biggest Loser of the Month:
Scotty Flamingo: Paris Hilton. She spent the month going back and forth to jail. I'm pretty sure that being sent back to prison after being released violates SOMETHING in the Constitution, but nobody cared because we were all thrilled to see her bawling her eyes out as she was carted back.
Biggest Movie News of the Month:
Scotty Flamingo: Photographic proof that Indy 4 is being produced after almost 2 decades of constant rumors.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month:
Scotty Flamingo: Transformers. I've gone from thinking this was a stupid idea to actually wanting to see it. Don't hurt me again Michael Bay!
Classic Movie of the Month:
Scotty Flamingo: Basket Case. The story of a young man that carries around his deformed telepathic siamese twin around in a wicker box. It spawned two sequels, the second of which had the twin meet another deformed blob and they GET...IT...ON! Yes, monster sex scene. All three are highly recommended.
Arnold Furious
Biggest Winner of the Month:Steve Carell. The success of Evan Almighty goes ahead and proves he's good for box office. The 40 Year Old Virgin took a whopping $109M at the US box office. He followed up with cult hit Little Miss Sunshine, which pulled down $59M at the box office and now Evan Almighty has a mighty opening weekend based almost solely on his name. Three straight hits usually makes you an A-lister. Welcome to the big time, Steve.
Biggest Loser of the Month: The Cruiser. Tom's wacky Scientology beliefs have ruined WW2 movie Valkyrie, which now can't shoot on German military bases because the German government simply doesn't like the church of Scientology. They don't think it's a religion but a business concern. So The Cruiser and his latest flick lose out. Sooner or later you have to imagine he'll get sick of people bashing Scientology and either give it up for the good of his career or retire. I'd prefer the former. Escape their evil clutches Tom!
Biggest Movie News of the Month: The potential continuation of the Pirates series. I've not seen the 3rd one yet but the first two were good old fashioned swashbuckling romps with great sword fights and strong comedy. I'd welcome this being an ongoing series. Although you feel without Jerry Bruckheimer's support that financially the films will suffer. Perhaps going back to basics is the best thing that could happen to the franchise though.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Initially I'd have said Transformers. I was thrilled to hear about it being made and it's been a long time since I've been so excited at the concept of something from my childhood being brought to life in a new form. But as the release approaches I've grown less and less optimistic. Chances are Michael Bay will fuck it up although it'll be entertaining. I'm actually more excited about the Simpsons movie now. The series has been struggling for a while but there are still laughs and great characters. Here's hoping the movie has a bunch of great gags in it. I'll settle for that.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: Flags of Our Fathers/Letters From Iwo Jima is getting the duel pack release as they complement each other. Which means you get two brand new releases for the price of one. Quite how the pricing policy worked on that I don't know but it feels like a bargain.
Classic Movie of the Month: Transformers: The Movie (1986). The film I grew up with as a child. The film I had to buy a replacement copy of because I wore out the first one with repeated viewings. It's a fucking great film. I don't care if it essentially came about to sell a new toy line the story works just perfectly. I probably have an attachment to it because I've spent such a large portion of my life watching it but that doesn't make it any less great. From a time where animation was crappy comes the best of that bad bunch. The animation errors are there but the story and the characters are good enough to cover for it. I still think it stands up 21 years on from its original release and it's a great film for kids and people reliving their youth. I even quoted it during my recap of Smackdown last week.
Movie Quote of the Month: This little interaction between Optimus Prime & Megatron is the kind of thing you can run through with people to see if they actually know the film. You'd be amazed how many times it works. And yes, I'm aware that makes me as nerdy as Elias in Clerks II.
Optimus Prime: One shall stand, one shall fall.
Megatron: Why throw away your life so recklessly?
Optimus Prime: That's a question you should ask yourself, Megatron.
Megatron: I'll crush you with my bare hands!
Jason Chamberlain
Biggest Winner of the Month:Late word is coming in that Daniel Radcliffe will be making 50 mil for finishing off the last two movies of the Harry Potter series. In essence, before his twentieth birthday, he can retire and live out the rest of his life in Shangrila. I'd call that a big win.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Lindsey Lohan for continuing her downward spiral. Look, I dislike actresses who get record deals just because they're actresses, and I dislike singers who don't even wait until their second video to complain about their fame, and I remember WAY back when Freaky Friday came out and Lohan was not yet a force of nature, and thinking she was kinda cute. Back when she was a redhead with a great... okay I'm getting off topic. I may not be her biggest fan.... or a fan at all... but as a fellow human being I hope she can turn her life around.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: For the first time in almost two decades, Harrison Ford is somewhere out there in the world, wearing a fedora and dodging boulders and poison darts! I don't know about you, but that sure helps me sleep better at night.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: I might be forever ostracized from the "We Grew Up In The 80's" community for this, but I'm giving the nod to Harry Potter over Transformers. I love big ass robots killing each other, and red meat, and naked women, so don't question my manhood damnit! But Harry Potter just looks so.... cool. And fun. Can't wait!
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: The very last day of the month saved what was looking like a lacklustre collection of releases. 300 is coming out on July 31st!
SPARTANS! PREPARE FOR GLORY!
Oh yeah, that's the shit.
Classic Movie of the Month: Wayne's World (1992): This movie was, is, and will always be the shit. Aside from being the best SNL based movie ever, it also may be the best thing Mike Myers has ever done (and in a career like his, that's saying something). Don't get me wrong, I loved the Austin Powers movies, and his work as Shrek, but I identify much more with Wayne Campbell, the slacking rocker with a totally excellent cable access show and Garth Elgar forever at his side. I'll admit the sequel was a little meh.... but this movie will always be a classic. And it's one of those flicks that creates a society unto itself; if you've never rocked out to Bohemian Rhapsody in a car with a bunch of your friends, you don't love this movie!
Movie Quote of the Month:
Waiting, 2004
Dean (Justin Long): What can you do with an AA degree anyway?
Monty (Ryan Reynolds): You can get a job substitute teaching for retarded kids or something...
Trevor Snyder
Biggest Winner of the Month:Bruce Willis and the Die Hard franchise As I write this, it's still too early to tell if Live Free or Die Hard is going to do all that well at the box office. Still, though, from what I've seen it looks like it at least has fared a lot better with the critics than the summer's other sequels. That's pretty surprising, considering I would have figured it to be the one that had the hardest time winning people over. But, surprise, surprise, the movie was actually quite good, and did a great job of reminding us how much we love this series. It might have even paved the way for more installments. Not too shabby for a 19 year old franchise.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Eli Roth I still like the guy, but let's face it, he didn't exactly have a good month. First, Hostel: Part II underperformed at the box office (sure, it will turn a healthy profit on DVD, but it's still got to sting a little). Then, his planned adaptation of Stephen King's Cell was put on hold, which many speculate was due in part to the poor performance of Hostel: Part II. And then, to rub salt in the wound, Roth had to watch another horror film (and a King adaptation, to boot!) come out and do quite well, which might suggest that the horror genre is ready for another return to focusing on "PG-13" fare. Granted, Roth has said in the past that he has nothing against that rating if done right. Still, after spending the last couple years championing hard "R" horror, it's probably a little frustrating for the man to see it dying off.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: I don't know, nothing really stuck out at me that much this month. I guess the pictures of Harrison Ford in his Indy garb were interesting, as were the pictures of Batman on his new motorcycle (which, frankly, I think looks a little silly). But I think the coolest picture I saw all month was the one of the Mach 5 from next summer's live-action Speed Racer movie. The car looks awesome, and started to get me a little excited for the film.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: What the hell, I'll be a good little fanboy and say Transformers. After all, I have been waiting for a year for this, after seeing the first teaser trailer with Pirates 2 last summer. Hell, I guess I've been waiting longer than that, given how much Transformers was part of my childhood. I'm not sure I'm expecting a good movie, but I'm at least expecting to be entertained.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: Normally I would go with either Zodiac or Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (both due out July 24), which are two of my favorite movies of the year so far. But both are also bare-bones releases with no extras, so it's tough to get too excited. So instead I'll give a tie to the 2-disc special edition of 300 (July 31), and the long-awaited special edition of Monster Squad (July 24)!
Classic Movie of the Month:Monster Squad Like Transformers, Monster Squad is one of those things that is just linked with my childhood. Man, did I love this movie. A bunch of kids taking on the classic Universal monsters what's not to love? It hasn't really held up in the same way over the years, but it's still a blast in a "so cheesy it's good" manner. If you've never seen it, the special edition DVD coming later this month is a perfect time to check it out.
Movie Quote of the Month:
"Wolfman's got nards!" - Horace (Brent Chalem), in Monster Squad
Bryan Kristopowitz
Biggest Winner of the Month: 20th Century Fox and Tim Story. Despite all of the hooha over how bad "Fantastic Four: The Rise of the Silver Surfer" was going to be, the sequel opened big on its first weekend and had a pretty decent second week. It wasn't a total disaster. So take that comic book nerds.
Biggest Loser of the Month: The WWE. The whole Chris Benoit thing is just horrendous from all angles, and there's no "silver lining" to it at all. McMahon and company have their work cut out. Eli Roth didn't exactly have a banner month, either, with "Hostel part II" tanking and then he apparently lost the directing job for the Stephen King adaptation "Cell."
Biggest Movie News of the Month: "Starship Troopers 3" is happening. The first one is the greatest movie ever made, the second one was pretty decent when it got inside the building, and with the third flick featuring the return of Johnny Rico, it could be a winner. I'm psyched.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: "The Simpson's Movie" no question. "Transformers" comes a close second.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: "Red Dawn: Special Edition," simply because it's "Red Dawn." Who doesn't want a special edition of that movie? "Masters of Horror: Black Cat" was great. "Space Ghost and Dino Boy" will be cool on DVD. And, of course, "Monster Squad." That's the big one.
Classic Movie of the Month: "Exterminator 2" (1984) The great Robert Ginty is back for some reason as the flame throwing New York City vigilante and Nam vet the Exterminator. In this second adventure, Ginty's John Eastland goes up against "X," played by the great Mario Van Peebles in his first big role. It also features Frankie Faison as Ginty's Nam buddy and city garbage truck driver, an armored up garbage truck assault vehicle, a street crucifixion, a lame 80's music and dancing interlude, a wicked slow pace, and some of the worst acting to come out of the Cannon Group/Golan-Globus Pictures.
Movie Quote of the Month: "Hey, yo scumbag! Hey, suck your own! Eat me! Yeah, same to you, buttface! Mom says hi." - Buddy, as played by Billy Jayne (back then he was Billy Jacoby) in the 1985 classic "Just One of the Guys"
Chad Webb
Biggest Winner of the Month: I guess I could say the big winner is one of the films that is making a lot of money, but I'll choose something different this month. I say the big winners are Harry Potter fans. The final book might be coming out soon, and the movies are flying by at a rapid rate, but they are getting a theme park now. It doesn't get better than that. Potter will apparently live forever.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Lindsay Lohan. This girl just doesn't know the meaning of "slow down." Her life is out of control, and she needs to make some adjustements to her behavior. The media can only spin the parties, drugs, and booze allegations so far. You can't blame them for. I'm not gonna be harsh. After this months tragic events, I just hope she shapes up.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: The announcement of a Thundercats movie was initially my pick, but know that Pixar's John Lasseter has closed the lid on Disney Direct-to-DVD sequels, I think we can all celebrate.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Kind of a toss up between Rescue Dawn and Harry Potter 5. Both should be good.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: The end of July has The Host, Perfume, Zodiac, and Hot Fuzz all being released on the same day I think. I can't choose just one. I'll buy them all.
Classic Movie of the Month: My pick goes to The Mummy from 1932 starring Boris Karloff as Imhotep. Of the classic Universal horror movies, this is one of my favorites behind Frankenstein. Legendary cinematographer Karl Freund assumed directorial duties for this magnificent, moody, and understated flick. It starts in 1921 during a field expedition in Egypt where some archaeologists discover a 3700 year old mummy and the Scroll of Thoth, which can bring the mummy back to life. When one person opens the scroll, the mummy is resurrected, and he seeks a way to reunite with his former love. Karloff is outstanding as Imhotep, and the rest of the cast does good as well. The pacing was perfectly steady, and the flashbacks suited the story nicely. If you thought the remake was even half-decent, you must rent this.
Movie Quote of the Month: From The Mummy: Helen Grosvenor/The Princess: "I loved you once, but now you belong with the dead. I am Anck-es-en-Amon, but I... I'm somebody else, too. I want to live, even in this strange new world."
Coming Attractions
July 6th
Transformers
Director: Michael Bay
Stars: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Michael Clarke Duncan
The Plot: Two warring alien robot races, the Autobots and the Decepticons, wage their latest battle on Earth, where a mystical entity highly regarded by the mechanical beings has been hidden for centuries.
Scotty Flamingo: How many months in a row have we had a freakin' Shia LaBoof movie??? I will see this opening weekend. I expect it to be good dumb fun. My only reservation is that it will feature too much human drama with Shia and Tyrese and not enough robots blowing shit up. I hope Megatron turns LaBoof into axl grease.
Furious: I'll like this a lot more if it opens up with "Dare" by Stan Bush. There's room for the past invading into Michael Bay's little futuristic dream. Nobody does upbeat 80's rock like Stan Bush. I've seen a few trailers for Transformers and it does look entertaining. The obvious concern is that with so many mechanical characters the personalities won't come across as well outside of Optimus Prime, Bumblebee and Megatron. I'll see it but I'll reserve judgement on whether it's any good until after said viewing.
Chamberlain: In all honesty I wasn't a huge Transformers fan growing up. It was one of the few cartoons I never got into, in fact I was more into the CGI Beast Wars that came out in the 90's. Nonetheless, I am pysched for this movie. It's kind of akin to what Dave Chappelle said about fried chicken and watermelon; if you don't like big ass robots fighting each other, there's something wrong with YOU, muthafucka!
Snyder: As if what I have to say is really going to determine whether or not people go see this. It's freakin' Transformers, baby! We're all gonna be there opening week, and we know it. Let's just hope Bay doesn't screw this one up.
Kristopowitz: I'm intrigued as to how this movie actually works. The effects sequences shown in the various trailers are freaking amazing, and of course the nerd in me is stoked at the idea of an actual, live action "Transformers" movie. But I read something about the movie basically literally being one action set piece after another. After watching the action over load of Bay's "Bad Boys II," I just don't know how a bunch of computer generated characters are going to be able to sustain an audience's attention for very long.
Webb: I can see this being a Independence Day like experience. It will look and sound great on the big screen, and surely be somewhat entertaining, but whether or not it is really good or not remains to be seen. The trailers send mixed signals my way, and as we all know Michael Bay could either deliver a solid film, or an excruciating one. The latest preview gave me a vibe like the end of The Lost World, and I really hope that's not the case.
License to Wed
Director: Ken Kwapis
Stars: Mandy Moore, John Krasinski, Robin Williams
The Plot: A reverend (Williams) puts an engaged couple (Moore and Krasinski) through a grueling marriage preparation course if they intend to marry in his church.
Scotty Flamingo: July must be family comedy month with two safe little comedies in this and Chuck and Larry. I don't expect either to hold a candle to Knocked Up or next month's Superbad. Robin Williams is not funny. Not sure when America is gonna finally realize that. The guy still thinks that being a white guy and talking jive is funny. I love Krasinski on The Office, but he looks like he shows none of his personality here.
Furious: I like Robin Williams and based on the trailer this looks pretty funny. Unlike some of his recent films. It seems like he has about one good film in five. It's been about five years since Insomnia and Death to Smoochy so he's probably due. This could be a surprise hit as long as they spend enough time with the comedy and not a lot of time with Moore & Krasinski's relationship. It should be ok.
Chamberlain: This looks kinda funny.... and Mandy Moore is cute. Maybe if I get a date (stop laughing!) I'll go see it.
Snyder: Blah. Looks to be another painfully unfunny comedy, which seems to be the only kind Williams can make any more. It's a shame, too I really like Krasinski, and wish his first starring role could be in something a lot better than this.
Kristopowitz: I'm a sucker for Robin Williams in these kinds of movies (I prefer it when he's in a comedy. I find his dramatic work boring). And Ken Kwapis directed a bunch of episodes for the great sitcom "Grounded for Life," so in that sense this movie could be better than people expect. It has a decent pedigree. But then again the commercials just make it look like a lame broad comedy (and I like broad comedies). I just hope it isn't that.
Webb: I like John Krasinski on The Office, and Robin Williams can be funny on occasion, but this looks horrible. Ken Kwapis is primarily a TV director, but he has done The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants, so at least he isn't a rookie. I truly don't have any interest in seeing this.
