Misunderstood Masterpieces: Cool World
Posted by Will Helm on 07.10.2007
...or, Come Watch Frank Sinatra, Jr., Get Raped Onstage!
When it comes to "adult" cartoons, there are few more famous or infamous as long-time auteur Ralph Bakshi. Working his way up from the awesome old Mighty Mouse and Marvel Comics cartoons of the 60s in particular the wonderfully cheesy, "let's-cut-everything-out-of-the-comics" Spider-Man, Bakshi made his name in the world of cinema with the help of one man: legendary independent comic artist Robert Crumb. Crumb, the premier comic artist of the gonzo late-60s and illustrator of Big Brother and the Holding Company's Cheap Thrills as well as the creator of Zap Comix, devised the infamous subject of Bakshi's first major release: 1972's Fritz the Cat, the first animated release to garner an "X" rating.
Six years later, Bakshi would ingratiate himself to nerds everywhere as he attempted to do what was then impossible: turn J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings cycle into films. The result was the uneven and semi-animated the film was animated over rotoscoped actors J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings. The film though it did feature Tim Burton working very behind the scenes suffered the unenviable task of truncating the first two books The Fellowship of the Ring and The Two Towers into one 150-minute movie and, in the process, losing the epic scope that Peter Jackson would finally grasp 23 years later. Perhaps due to the cool reception toward Lord of the Rings, Bakshi would fade from the public eye until getting back into the cinematic game with another major release featuring big-name actors . . . well, one before he was REALLY famous and a few other actors. The film is 1992's Cool World and unfortunately, it didn't perform so coolly at the box office even though many saw it as a "more adult" Who Framed Roger Rabbit? I guess the public wasn't ready for another cartoon-meets-reality film . . . but I wonder if they had overlooked a Misunderstood Masterpiece? Let's find out!
Sadly, the film dates itself early on because the opening credits are accompanied by gasp! 90s synth-pop. Ugh. Just ugh. Somehow, instead of staying rooted firmly in the early 90s, the scene opens in 1945 Vegas, where folks stand around at a very small airport while swing plays in the background. I'll take that over 90s synth-pop any day; thanks for redeeming yourself, movie! The crowd gets all excited at the airport as soldiers exit a plane but one woman in particular (Janni Brenn) is quite perturbed . . . until Brad Pitt gets off the plane. Of course, she's not excited because Brad Pitt's there, she's actually just his mother . . . in Cool World, not the real world. I have a hunch that juxtaposition is going to get very confusing later on.
Back home with mom, Brad Pitt emerges from his room dapper and well-Brylcreemed. In addition as the film slightly exudes an Oedipal overtone, Brad has a surprise for his mom: a shiny new motorcycle. Hmm . . . why do I get the feeling that's like Homer Simpson buying Marge a bowling ball for her birthday? Apparently, Brad won it while playing poker. Sadly, he should've kept playing; eventually he could've won the Millennium Falcon. Oh wait . . . that was Sabacc. Speaking of gambling, while Brad takes his mom for a ride through the desert Oedipus, where are you?, a drunken couple exits an establishment helpfully called "Gambling." As is plainly obvious with what's being set up, the drunken couple run down Brad and his mom and, unsurprisingly, Brad's mom dies while Brad goes into shell shock. Well, that's a grim turn no pun intended.
Elsewhere, some little cartoon professor opens a portal to Nevada and he watches as the cops keep pushing Brad down for no discernable reason. Seriously, every time he tries to get up, they push him back down on the ground. Weird. Anyway, perhaps to rescue Brad from this very gentle and counterintuitive form of police brutality, the cartoon professor warps Brad into the cartoon world. Once there, Brad, as anyone warped anywhere is wont to do, freaks out until the cartoon professor provides exposition for Brad and the viewer. Of course, since he's a cartoon, the professor is wacky unless it's a bizarre form of gallows humor to take Brad's mind off his mother's untimely death. Brad, meanwhile, ignores the professor's gags because he's either catatonic, concussed, or stoned . . . or any combination of the three.
With Brad Pitt's origins now established, the film fast-forwards to 1992 or, as it was back then, "present day" . . . and to a Las Vegas prison. Hey wait . . . that trilogy was a fewweeksago! Although, maybe the guy that killed Brad's mom is getting out now? Or not, as in a finely appointed cell complete with a drafting table, convict Jack Deebs (Gabriel Byrne) animates a HOT CHICK. Perhaps he's spent a little too long on the inside because the HOT CHICK starts talking to him and even comes to life! Somehow, he's pulled into cartoon land and, once there, he ends up in a night club full of Tex Avery-inspired wolves and . . . more synth-pop. Luckily for him, there's a reason he's there as the HOT CHICK is dancing on stage and he's mesmerized by her hips . . . until he's rudely pulled back into the real world. Oh well. I guess he'll just have to spend a little more time with his bitch later.
Back in cartoon world or, formally, the titular "Cool World," a jive hoodlum struts on the streets until his henchmen mock him. He responds by roughing them up and then attacking them with killer nickels. Ah, so it's one of those places where life is cheap and the dames are cheaper. Got it. Meanwhile, Brad drives into town and he stops some toons or "doodles" as they're known in the film . . . probably to differentiate it from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? from jackin' his car. He then visits the blonde HOT CHICK, Holli Would (though I think "blonde HOT CHICK" is a much better name, personally), who reveals that, somehow, she's obsessed with Marilyn Monroe.
Brad, on the other hand, is just a cop on the beat, trying to keep the peace in a city filled with iniquity and despair. He's also got a job to do, so he asks Holli about Jack's unannounced and uninvited arrival earlier in the evening. She tries to distract him with tales of Las Vegas legends and her animated wiles but she's no Erin E-surance, that pink-haired vixen. Anyway, Holli finally reveals her raison d'être: she wants to be a real boy. Oh wait . . . that was Pinocchio. Well, either way, Holli wants to be real and she wants Brad to help her make it so. Jean-Luc Picard would be proud. Brad isn't so much, though, as he just lectures her and takes his leave.
Over in the real world, Jack gets out of jail and he drives home to find his nosy neighbors already suspicious about his presence. Geez . . . whatever happened to paying one's debt to society? Anyway, Jack drives through Vegas disappointed by all the false glamour he sees along the way and his first stop is a comic store. Once inside, it's revealed that he's a sort-of famous artist, enough so that the female clerk on duty hits on him. Unfortunately, while a horde of groupies hound Jack for autographs, some smarmy geek hassles Jack about the murder that landed him in jail. Dum-dum-DUM! Something tells me the smarmy geek might be next on Jack's hit list.
Later that night, Jack is warped back to Cool World where an innocent, naïve rabbit loses in a fixed craps game. Huh? Anyway, the rabbit's captors are distracted by Jack's impromptu arrival and, disturbingly, he's accosted by his own "creations." Great . . . just what this movie needs: a "chicken/egg" paradox. Anyway, while Jack is bothered by a bunch of goons and an obsessive hooker, Holli shows up to break up the party and Jack is mystified again. Well, he was in the joint for a spell and, hence, no nookie . . . at least no nookie of the heterosexual kind. Holli, sensing Jack's interest, toots his horn in the prurient sense and then she hits on him.
Elsewhere, the rabbit reports the skullduggery to the cops . . . and it wants REVENGE! To that end, the cops show up and Jack and Holli flee from the scene in her car and with her goons in tow. On the way to Jack and Holli's freedom, a lackadaisical car chase ensues and one of Holli's goons uses urine to fend off the cops . . . until the cops and rabbit meet their fate in a car accident. I suppose that's another grim turn . . . no pun intended. Meanwhile, Brad questions a brunette HOT CHICK (Candi Milo, who will always be awesome because she's the voice of "Cheese" on Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends) on the streets and, as it turns out, she's Brad's woman and the "Veronica" to Holli's "Betty." Brad's perturbed by all the crime going on under his nose but, before his HOT CHICK can calm him down, he's rudely interrupted by his partner, Nails (Charles Adler). It's all in a days work for a damned cop.
At a dance club, Holli gyrates lasciviously and gets Jack into the club with the help of goon power. The scene inside isn't so cool, however, as Brad is there waiting for Jack. Dum-dum-DUM! After roughing up Jack to get his attention, Jack explains the rules of Cool World. Rule #1: You do not talk about Cool World! He also tells Jack that Holli isn't worth all the trouble; whether it's because she's a loose broad or BITCHES BE CRAZY remains to be seen, however. In addition, cross-dimensional intercourse isn't allowed . . . mainly because it's really hard to wash paint off your naughty bits. I feel kind of bad for the guy who first found that out! After the little lecture, Jack warps back to the real world and he lands directly on his drawing board; I'm sure there's some sort of symbolism there, but I'm not sure what it is.
In Cool World, Brad goes back to his HOT CHICK and he laments the fact that he can't hook up with her . . . though I suppose mutual masturbation is A-OK. Obviously, my hunch is correct as the HOT CHICK starts stripping for Brad but he's once again rudely interrupted by Nails, who's almost as annoying as him on a chalkboard. In the real world, Jack hangs out in the desert like a mental patient because Holli is haunting his thoughts. Perhaps to cure his psychosis, Jack once again travels to Cool World and he lands in the midst of an opera. Somehow, Holli's goons arrive through the backdrop to pick up Jack.
Elsewhere, Brad visits Holli's place, where her knocker sasses at him and denies him entry. Her door-knocker, perverts. As Brad REALLY wants a chat with Holli, he and Nails join forces to scale the side of the building but Brad nearly falls to his death when Nails sneezes and loses his grip. That would've brought a quick end to the film, I surmise. After a few attempts, Brad finally gets into the building where he finds Holli waiting and prepared to question Brad's masculinity.
While Brad has to deal with Holli's emasculating insinuations, her goons take Jack to her place and she puts Jack into her bed, much to the consternation of seemingly EVERYONE in Cool World. Damned prudes. While Holli desires to seduce Jack, he's more concerned about Brad's warnings than Holli's surely anatomically correct form. Somehow, while Holli's goons conspire to watch the goings-on, Holli gets it on with a somewhat unconscious Jack Holli is obviously a bit of a rapist . . . remember that for future reference and, hence, she turns real . . . and into Kim Basinger. Hmm . . . I wonder what happens if you get her wet or feed her after midnight. Somehow, in addition to her physical form transforming, Holli's clothes also turn real as well. That's wonderfully convenient, I must admit; I'm sure no one would want Kim Basinger to have to run around through the rest of the movie naked or anything. Right?
Back to beating the streets of Cool World, Brad is perturbed because he knows there's something fishy going on. Either that, or he's smelling Holli now that she's real. Brad, perhaps still feeling a bit insecure as well, elects to apologize to his HOT CHICK and he makes up with her; meanwhile, Nails finds out that Jack and Holli may very well be leaving Cool World for the real world. He decides to let Brad know, but after calling him, Nails has second thoughts and chooses to take the case himself.
After real Holli basks in her own reflection for a bit, she steals Jack's fountain pen which is, according to Brad, a powerful weapon in Cool World and, outside, she confronts Nails on the street. Though Nails tries to thwart Holli's plan, she kills him with Jack's pen and then she and Jack return to the real world unfettered by police interference. Over at Jack's place, his nosy neighbors walk in on him and Holli celebrating their freedom with their clothes on, perverts and Holli ingratiates herself toward the neighbors by acting giggly and dumb. Unless that's not an act.
In Cool World, Brad mourns for his deceased partner and then he also finds out what Jack and Holli did. Back in Vegas, Holli and Jack go to a lounge together where Holli sniffs men and is very enthusiastic about drinking heavily. Then, while Frank Sinatra, Jr., performs onstage, Holli commandeers the bandstand and, somehow, Jack's protestations get him ejected from the establishment. Umm . . . he's not the one onstage, guys; but, then again, he's also not a HOT CHICK coming on to Frank Sinatra, Jr. While Jack seemingly starts turning into a doodle outside, Holli performs with Frank Sinatra, Jr., and, during the course of the number, she gives him what can best be characterized as a "standing lap dance" . . . or a very clumsy rape. It's not like she hasn't done it before!
In Cool World, Brad swears REVENGE against Holli and Jack for making a heel out of him and probably for killing Nails too. Sadly, Brad's HOT CHICK isn't too happy about how the situation is turning out, so they end up arguing. Either that, or it's their sexual frustration boiling over. Back onstage in the real world, Holli starts turning back into a doodle specifically a clown-like doodle so she leaves the stage to everyone's applause. Outside, Holli meets up with Jack and their quite concerned by the recent turn of cartoon events. Back in Cool World, Brad begins his quest for REVENGE by having a flashback back to earlier in the film and then warping back to the real world . . . in 1992. Luckily, he doesn't age 47 years en route; that would certainly put a damper on the remaining action.
On the streets of Vegas, Holli and Jack argue about their particular predicament and Holli's desire for power. Since Jack isn't as supportive as she'd like, Holli kicks him in the face and then she hijacks his car. Look out! BITCHES BE CRAZY! Elsewhere, Jack's neighbor (Michele Abrams) sits down to read one of his comics until she's rudely interrupted is that a running theme or something? but Brad's arrival in Jack's house across the street. Jack arrives back at his house to find Brad waiting for him and, in lieu of Brad exacting his revenge, they scream at each other instead until shockingly the nosy neighbor rudely interrupts them.
On the Vegas strip, Holli parks Jack's car in front of a casino and she interrogates the hapless valet as to the whereabouts of some guy named "Vegas Vinnie." Wait; she's looking for Kevin Nash? Inside the casino, Holli wanders around, very confused, until she's forcibly ejected by a horde of tuxedo-clad men. And here I thought being a close, personal friend of Frank Sinatra, Jr., would've given her carte blanche in Vegas. Outside the casino, an overdressed midget accosts Holli but, as it turns out after a brief scuffle, it's actually the cartoon professor in disguise! He cautions Holli about her desire for power but, instead of heeding his warnings, she simply blows him up with Jack's pen.
The professor doesn't stay blown up for long, however, as, moments later, Jack, Brad, and Jack's nosy neighbor arrive on the scene. While Jack and his neighbor reassemble the professor, Brad chases Holli through the bowels of the casino. In a back stairwell, he finally catches up with her but she responds by pushing him over the railing. Brad, who's even a hard-workin' cop in the real world, recovers and hunts for Holli in a gaudily wallpapered hallway. Of course, the wallpaper is just a ruse as Holli emerges from it to kick Brad in the junk. I guess he wasn't emasculated after all . . . until now. Holli then climbs onto a ledge outside the casino as the object of her desire is at the top and, through a convoluted series of events and a moment of mercy on the part of Brad, she pushes him over the edge and to his death on the pavement below.
Fueled by Brad's death and the professor's urging, Jack finally realizes his destiny and he grows cartoon arms with which he climbs the side of the building. On the top of the structure, Holli scales a big neon sign and then she grabs some rod that releases a horde of cartoon ghosts into the real world! Wow, I remember the first time I saw that bit . . . in Ghost Busters. While cartoons invade the real world, Jack turns into a cartoon superhero and Nails escapes from his incarceration in the pen . . . no pun intended. After Jack fights off the evil cartoons and, after grabbing the rod from Holli, he reverses the cartoon invasion. In the aftermath, the professor, Nails, and dead Brad return to Cool World, leaving Jack's nosy neighbor behind to clean up the mess. In Cool World, Brad's HOT CHICK laments his passing . . . until he turns into a cartoon so they can get it on. Meanwhile, Super-Jack and Holli end up together, unhappily ever after.
I have to admit it: Cool World isn't that bad of a movie. That's not to say it's good, however; it's more odd than anything. During the course of the film, particularly in the realm of Cool World, there are scores and scads of random animations floating by or frolicking in the foreground for no particular reason. Whether that was to set the scene as chaotic or just to give the animators something to do is a mystery; as it is, however, it seemingly serves no purpose. More than anything, though, Cool World feels like it's missing something or a lot of things, honestly. While the professor explains how Brad got to Cool World, it's never really clear why he's brought to Cool World. Holli's motivations are never fully explored she wants to be real and then . . . what? as well as the origins of her rather intimate knowledge of the outside world. Other than the smarmy geek, Jack's crime is mostly forgotten about in the course of the film; in fact, his neighbors seem to be rather fine with the fact there's a convicted criminal across the street. Most significantly, however, the film feels like it wants to be even more "adult" but it's hemmed in by a restrictive "PG-13" rating. Of course, whenever a film never quite realizes its full potential, that can only mean it's a Misunderstood Masterpiece.
Join me next week as Brendan Fraser somehow ends up in Cool World . . . but with a slightly different plot. Or not. I haven't watched it yet, but you'll find out! See you then!
