Ask 411 Movies for 9.3.07: You値l Never Walk Alone for the Third Year in a Row
Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 09.03.2007
Raquel Welch, Adrien Brody, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, why you pay so much at the theater, the horror that is Small Wonder and my time at Monster Mania
I made it back from Monster Mania alive, but not by much. Chad Webb and Will Helm were able to drop by and it was fun to hang with them. We even joked about holding our own 411Mania Fest. Or were we joking? I got autographs of Chris Sarandon, Angus Scrimm of Phantasm and David Harris who played Cochise in The Warriors. Sarandon was very friendly and receptive to fans. I overheard him encouraging a young girl in front of me who was scared to talk to him that reading was important. Amanda Bearse was next to him and also seemed to have a good fan rapport. Angus Scrimm had people sit down next to him and asked me where I was coming from and was overall very conversational. He put his arm around me because he thought we were doing a picture, but I didn't have a camera. He said to that "oh well, we got a hug out it anyway and isn't that nice." I wasn't also able to talk for a few minutes with stuntman George Wilbur who played Michael Meyers in Halloween 4 and Halloween 6. It was hard to believe that this sweet, thoughtful and funny indvidual could portray the iconic Shape.
On DVD I picked up the two "Captain America" TV movies from the seventies, the complete run of "Scooby Doo's Laff-a-Lympics" for my niece and the whole 96 episode run of "Small Wonder." I can't beleive it went that long. If you've never seen the show, my explanation cannot do it justice. For those who have seen it no explanation is needed. Just check out the opening credits from YouTube.
The weekend of October 5th I'll be at Cinema Wasteland in Strongsville, Ohio outside of Cleveland. I probably won't get there until later in the evening on Friday and then be around for the weekend. Once again, I'll be in the dealers' room with Creepy Classics. Once things are confirmed I will also have some exciting announcements for the Monster Bash next year.
The column's fourth anniversary is two weeks away. Never before posted or shared with the general public I am going to show you how I got this gig. Below are is the mock sample questions I submitted to Ashish so many moons ago. Keep in mind this is from four years ago so some information might be dated and the wit might not be as sparkling.
Q: I was encouraged to see The Piano after watching Adrien Brody's acceptance speech for best actor at the Oscar's this year. What has he done before this and what else can you tell me about him?
A: Brody, 29 and the youngest best actor winner ever, is the son of Village Voice photographer Sylvia Plachy. He would often accompany her on assignments as a kid and says that this experience made him comfortable with being in front of a camera and spiked his interest in being an actor. He attended both the American Academy of Dramatic Arts and High School for the Performing Arts while growing up in Queens, New York. He landed his first professional roles on television at the age of 15, the short lived series "Annie McGuire" starring Mary Tyler Moore and the tele-film Home at Last. He then floated around for the next decade doing bit roles in B pictures. When you're best role to date was playing second banana to Tony Danza in Angels in the Outfield you're not exactly turning a lot of casting director's heads. Brody's break out role was supposed to be as Corporal Fyfe in The Thin Red Line, but most of his scenes were left on the cutting room floor. A good place for the whole movie really. Brody then appeared in notable flops Summer of Sam and Affair of the Necklace before being hand picked by Roman Polanski to star in The Piano. Brody is slated to act in the fantasy thriller The Woods and be a clairvoyant soldier trying to solve the murder he was wrongly accused of in The Jacket opposite Hollywood flavor of the month Keira Knightly, both are set for release next year.
Q: Why do I have to pay 8 bucks for a soda and a popcorn after I already paid 8 bucks just to get into the theater?
A: Blame Teddy Roosevelt. Seriously. During Roosevelt's presidency several laws were made to prohibit monopolies, where one company or a group of companies own all aspects relating to a product. This was before filmmaking became big business and, much like the internet today, people didn't know how to govern it. Film studios owned every single element regarding their movies. They not only controlled the cast and crews of a film, but how the film was distributed and who showed it. Film studios owned the theaters that played their movies. If you lived in a one-horse town with one theater owned by Paramount or someone in collusion with Paramount, all you would be able to see would be Paramount films. Several court cases were filed in the late thirties challenging these monopolies, most notably the Crescent case where high ups in the Crescent theater chain admitted to being in cahoots with several top studios to control and shut down their competition in many southern states. Anyway, the net result was that movie theaters became completely independent of movie studios and studios basically had to pay for the privilege of what films they wanted to show in their theaters. Most of your movie ticket price goes directly to the film studio for the theaters "renting" of their movie and ability to show it. Theaters had to basically come up with other ways to fund the upkeep of the theater, pay employees and make a profit. The easiest way being to jack up the price of a box of stale Milk Duds and patrol the aisles like guards in Stalag 17 looking for people with contraband goodies.
Q: I heard that a remake to Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was in the works, what can you tell me about it?
A: The film has been in talks for several years and finally looks to be off the ground with Tim Burton now attached as director. Burton is looking to do a much darker picture, truer to the original novel by Roald Dahl, than the 1971 film starring Gene Wilder as an eccentric chocolatier who runs a contest to find a child to take over his candy empire. Nicholas Cage was rumored to play Wonka at one point and goth rocker Marilyn Manson threw his hat in the ring for the role as well. You know, if you wanted to do a hybrid of Wonka and The Rocky Horror Picture Show Manson would be a fine choice. Burton has recently said that he's narrowed his choices down to two men he has had past working relationships with, Christopher Walken and Johnny Depp. While Walken at 60 might be better suited to the role of a man desperate to retire, Burton looks to be going with Depp. Most sources also state that this will not be a musical. (Too bad, because that would be another element in Walken's favor. He's shown himself to be a song and dance man on more than one occasion and was in the musical Pennies from Heaven).
Q: I was flipping through the channels last night and saw a bit of some movie where Bill Cosby was driving an ambulance. Any idea what it was?
A: That would be Mother, Jugs and Speed from 1976. Cosby plays Mother, a driver for a third rate ambulance company, so named for the way he "mothers" the other drivers. Harvey Keitel is Speed, a cop who was kicked off the force due to being framed for selling drugs, namely speed, to school kids and joins the company desperate for work. Raquel Welch is Jugs, the company's secretary who wants to be an ambulance driver herself, so named because she has big tits. I don't beat around the bush. Although, I wouldn't try to do anything with that last line. The movie was intended to be MASH-esque in depicting EMT's in a gritty, yet sarcastic way but mostly falls flat due to not really having much of a plot and shifting gears too quickly between comedy and drama. The movie also features a man I peg to be a very underrated actor, Larry Hagman. Hagman plays a lady killer named Murdoch who utters the ingenious statement, "So, the twins said they were 13 and I told them if they did me at the same time, I'd call them 26."
Q: A friend of mine told me that Burt Reynolds was supposed to be Han Solo in Star Wars. Tell him he's crazy. C'mon, Burt Reynolds?
A: Ever think that maybe the rest of the world is sane and it's you who's crazy? You're friend is absolutely right. George Lucas initially wanted Reynolds for the role, but realized that he was too expensive for him to get. Nick Nolte, Christopher Walken and Kurt Russell all tested for the role, but Lucas went with Harrison Ford as Solo after seeing tests Ford did for other roles in the film. Ford had been in Lucas' American Graffiti and Lucas was hesitant in casting any of the same actors from that movie in Star Wars in major parts. Lucas, along with director Steven Spielberg, then tried to land Reynolds again for Raiders of the Lost Ark, but once again he was considered out of their price range. Spielberg had also wanted Reynolds for Sheriff Brody in Jaws, but he turned the role down. In fact, the list of movies Burt Reynolds didn't appear in is more impressive than the list of films he did make. Other notables include Rosemary's Baby, Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Tom Hagen in The Godfather and Garret Breedlove in Terms of Endearment. Jack Nicholson took that last role and won an Oscar while Reynolds choose to do Stroker Ace due to a favor he owed the producers of the film. Well, I guess you can't fault loyalty.
Hopefully we'll have some more original material next week, so don't die. And just to keep you happy, we'll close with a classic picture of the above mentioned Raquel Welch.
"I happen to be the finest dermatologist in this city!"
"Well, if acne breaks out, we'll let you know."
