411 Fact or Fiction Movies: Week 91
Posted by Ben Piper on 08.31.2007
Was Ratatouille the best movie of the summer? Will Balls of Fury be lame? Was Owen Wilson's suicide attempt shocking news? 411's Ron Martin and Arnold Furious debate these and other topics in week 91 of Fact or Fiction: Movies!
Hello Everyone. Yes, it is that time of the week, time for Fact or Fiction: Movies! On this particular occasion, we have Ron Martin and a fellow who hasn't participated in this column for some time, Arnold Furious! This should be a good one, so let's not waste any more time hyping this thing, let's get to the debate!
1. In terms of overall quality and entertainment value, Ratatouille was the best movie released this summer.
Ron Martin: Fiction I guess that it depends on what you consider summer. If May is part of the summer like the movie industry is claiming then definitely not. If May is NOT part of the summer, then probably still not. Ratatouille was an alright film. I just couldn't help the feeling that it was missing something. Certainly all the major films released this summer had some issues so the pathway to be the biggest surprise hit of the summer was there to be grabbed as easily as the movie theaters grabbed all my money for these supposed blockbusters. Ratatouille just didn't do it. I liked the film. It was as good a way to spend two hours with little snotrag kids as any, but in the end, it was pretty forgettable. I don't see the American public embracing rats like they did penguins after all the penguin movies
Arnold Furious: Fiction. I can't really debate one way or the other as I've not seen Ratatouille as yet. I tend to avoid animated movies at the cinema because of all the kids. That said I saw the Simpsons Movie and really liked it. Otherwise I can only say that Ratatouille is probably better than both of the other films I saw at the cinema this summer; Spiderman 3 and Transformers. Both of those I didn't enjoy so much. Transformers especially. There was a great quote from one reviewer that said Michael Bay movies were like having an idiot yell at you for two hours. Great description.
Score:1 for 1
2. Ryan Seacrest is not a good choice to host this years Emmy Awards.
Ron Martin: Fiction. I'm going to be surprisingly honest here -- I have never seen Ryan Seacrest in action. I don't watch American Idol and very very rarely see anything on E! However, the Emmys are a long and mostly boring show. Real comedians like Ellen Degeneres and Conan O'Brien have had problems trying to keep the crowd interested. This isn't American Idol where the contestants are the stars of the show and Seacrest is some tool who introduces them. At the Emmys, the host has to take control of the show and be the star. Like I said, I have never seen Seacrest in action, but this reeks to me of the show is getting close we have to grab somebody safe. I don't even think Seacrest is a big enough name for the Emmy's. I know Idol get HUUYUUUGE ratings, but for every person who watches it there are three who don't. Those who don't may have no idea who this guy is.
Arnold Furious: Fiction. I have no idea who Ryan Seacrest is. I also don't give a crap about the Emmys. Award shows are tedious at the best of times and most of them mean jackshit outside of the Oscars. So it doesn't really matter to me who hosts them. If Seacrest was up for the Oscars then I'd be shouting WHOOOOAAA because that's way too big a gig for an unknown. As it stands he can take a pop at it. Why not? It's not like I'll watching to complain about it.
Score:2 for 2
3. You are not interested in seeing Rob Zombie's remake of Halloween.
Ron Martin: Fact. Anyone who has read any of my columns in the last month knows my feelings on this movie. They also know that I will be watching the Halloween: 25 Years of Terror DVD instead. I hate pointless remakes. The original Halloween still holds up, there is no need to remake it. If Rob Zombie has such a hard on for Mike Myers, he should make another sequel to get it out of his system. I'm glad the franchise means so much that they just hand it over to a director whose earnings have been mediocre at best in the box office. You want to remake old Vincent Price movies using today's technology, that's one thing. Remaking a classic film that is just fine as it is tells me that Hollywood doesn't want to try to exert any creative effort anymore, so they just throw a pre-written story and a bunch of money to a director that hasn't proven he can make money instead of taking a chance on a new script, a new writer or a new director for half the money. Useless remakes are ridiculous. You get paid to be creative, so do it.
Arnold Furious: Fiction. While I agree with everything Ron Martin said about remakes and how pointless it is to re-do a film the point of Rob Zombie taking over on Halloween this way was to breathe fresh life into the franchise. It's been going downhill for some time and it could do with a reboot. Like the same reboots we've had on the Batman, Superman and James Bond franchises and it's not done any of those any harm. Rob seems to really want to put his stamp on a classic horror movie by doing it his way. Given his success in reworking the horror genre with his exhilarating Devil's Rejects I'm interested to see what happens when he gets a shot at something that will attract more viewers. It is probably too early to remake Halloween seeing as the original still holds up and there's a whole lot to live up by attempting it. I wish him all the best of luck. Hopefully he'll come out of this looking like the self proclaimed saviour of horror he went into the project as.
Score: 2 for 3
Switch!!!
4. You have a feeling that you liked Death Sentence better the first time when it was called Death Wish.
Arnold Furious: Fact. It's a re-make in that's it's based on the same book. Hollywood seems to be going through a phrase of either remaking everything or doing delayed sequels right now. Some of that is paying off and some of it isn't. It's just sometimes you wish people were a little more creative. But that's not to say there aren't a lot of different and creative films coming out. You just have to look for them. I thought Children of Men was really good. Brokeback Mountain. Apocalypto. The films are out there if you look. If you're sick of remakes then stop watching them and Hollywood will stop making them. End of story. But you can't stop Hollywood from making these flicks and the kids who have never heard of Charles Bronson will think it's all pretty cool. What can you do?
Ron Martin: Fact I dare say that a kid who had never heard of Charles Bronson doesn't truly know what is cool. This is just another example of a useless remake. Working with the same material as a cult classic like Death Wish is a lose-lose situation. You're never going to make a film satisfying enough to surpass the original, therefore all you can hope for is "It was okay, but not as good as the original." As I mentioned above, I have stopped watching remakes hence the watching of the original Halloween this Friday instead of supporting a useless remake. Arnold, if you find yourself in Indiana this Friday, drop by, we'll make it a viewing party. I'll supply the liquor. Ben, you bring the chex mix I hope Jamie Lee gets my invite.
Score: 3 for 4
You were shocked by Owen Wilson's suicide attempt.
Arnold Furious: Fiction. For his whole career I've watched Owen Wilson struggle through one film after another. Forcing out one liners in an attempt to make the world laugh. But look into his eyes and it's a different story. He's been dead inside since 2002's I Spy. Churning out one piece of schlock after another. Only occasionally hitting on a winning formula like Wedding Crashers. I find his performances grating and every role he's been in tainted with his sub-par acting skills. I'm just surprised it's taken him this long to catch up to what I've known for a long time; he's really not very good. Now I'm going to kick back at casa de Furious and wait for the hatemail to roll in. Trust me; you'll be fed up with him sooner or later when he does the talk show circuit in a month's time and talks about his "issues". Then inks a huge contract for another Meet the Parents sequel. Better luck next time Owen.
Ron Martin: Fact: I've always enjoyed Owen's work and thought he did too. I don't play the deathlist game, but if I did, I don't think Owen Wilson's name would even have passed through my head. I always grouped him with guys like his brother, Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, etc. I don't know anything about Owen's personal life, but it always seemed to me that these guys were having a good time. I suppose thats the life of artists -- the highs are very high, but the lows are very low. Arnold's half-right in that the majority of Owen's comedy comes in the form of one-liners but it takes talent to get those one-liners over, not just anyone can do it. As I said, I enjoy Owen's work and I hope he can work through whatever issues he has.
Score: 3 for 5
6. From everything you've seen you expect Balls of Fury to be lame.
Arnold Furious: Fiction. Even when faced with almost certain doom almost any film can be saved by Christopher Walken. See his performances in Click, Envy, Domino, or even Gigli for evidence of this. The man cares about his profession. He really does give it everything regardless of how ridiculous the premise of his next film is. He's guaranteed to be the best thing about this film. But unlike in Gigli where he had about 2 minutes of screen time he's one of the two central characters. Besides if guys being kicked in the groin makes you laugh (just think "football in the groin" and you'll be ok) then this is your kind of movie anyway. It's not like arthouse fans will be queuing around the block to check it out.
Ron Martin: Fact: This may have been the toughest For F question I have ever answered. Arnold is dead on about Chris Walken. The man can make anything entertaining. I don't know that its enough to save some of the films he's been in, but I can always walk out of a theater saying "Hey, Christopher Walken was good in it". Watching someone get kicked in the groin does make me laugh (ironically enough, I hate Jackass) so I have very high expectations for this movie. I mean, there's groin kicking AND Christopher Walken. But these movies often have their funniest scenes in the previews. Instead of laughing my ass off in the theater, I usually walk out of the movie with a few chuckles or worse yet bemoaning the fact that I spent my money on something so stupid. However, this movie does look funny and I am expecting it to be funny in the same way I really like Gramma's Boy so I feel like I am setting myself up for a huge letdown. I really hope not, but previous experiences tell me there is a high probability that this movie will be lame. Christopher Walken will be great though.
Final Score: 3 for 6
Sorry Ron, but I'm not big on chex mix. How about I bring a huge ass bag of Doritos instead? Anyways, that's it for this week. Check back in seven for more Fact or Fiction: Movies!
