The October Zombie-Thon! - Day 4: Doomed

Posted by Trevor Snyder on 10.04.2007

Well, it certainly isn't any worse than the actual reality shows on TV nowadays.

DOOMED (2007)

Directed by: Michael Su
Written by: Patrick McManus, Patrick Sean McManus, & Sean O'Bannon
Country: USA

Earlier this year, following the massive success of their Oscar-worthy films See No Evil and The Marine, WWE Films released what I'm sure will one day be considered their masterpiece: The Condemned, starring "Stone Cold" Steve Austin as a prison inmate sent to an island and forced to compete in a winner-take-all, fight-to-the-death reality TV show against other vicious convicts.

Now, far be it for me to suggest that a film as clearly magnificent as The Condemned could possibly be improved upon, but I don't think it's too out-of-the-question to suggest one thing might have made it even better - and that's the inclusion of zombies. Come on, who wouldn't want to watch Austin stone-cold-stunning some poor undead schmuck's head clean off?

But don't take my word for it – just check out Doomed, a movie the DVD box describes as "a combination of Lost meets Survivor with a touch of The Amazing Race." A fair-enough description, I suppose, although I'm not exactly sure where the zombies factor in on that equation.

Regardless, the movie tells the tale of a group of convicts sent to the mysterious Isola de Romero (ugh). Right off the bat, I was worried for all these folks, as the aerial shots of this island reveal it to be clearly computer-generated – one minor glitch in the programming software, and I can only assume everyone will suddenly be swimming for their lives in the middle of the ocean.

Anyway, it turns out that's the least of their problems, as they've been brought to the island to compete in the hit reality show, "Survival Island 2020." The criminals are paired into color-coordinated teams, and given one simple task – make it across the entire length of the island alive. The winning team not only earns their freedom, thanks to a waiting boat, but a large cash sum. Of course, there's a catch – in addition to having to fight each other along the way, they will also have to deal with the ferocious zombies that have been set loose in the island's forests (and when I say "ferocious," I mean it – this is another of those movies where the zombies inexplicably shriek and growl like pissed-off gorillas).

I'm sure this is supposed to come across as shocking, hard-edged stuff, but by this point the "deadly reality show" gimmick has already been done to death, in much better films like The Running Man, Series 7: The Contenders and, of course, Battle Royale. And so, unfortunately, the film's central idea has a kind of "been there, done that" feeling to it, with only the zombies to set it apart as unique (you would think someone like me would think that was enough, but no).

As a result, I really wasn't expecting much from Doomed, and therefore wasn't exactly enthusiastic about having to watch it. In fact, and this is completely true, during the film's opening credits I noticed that one of the actresses' names was Kara Schaaf, which I thought sounded pretty close to Kyra Schon, who memorably played the little zombie girl in Romero's Night of the Living Dead, and that made me wish I was watching that film instead. Now, if my mind went on that long of a tangent just during the opening credits, it tells you something about how little I was in the mood for Doomed.

But then a funny thing happened as the movie progressed – it started to slowly but surely win me over. When I started the Zombie-Thon a few days ago, I said that it was important to remember that I'm scoring these films based on their appeal to hardcore zombie fans, and a film like Doomed is a perfect example of what I mean. Taken on its own merits, it's not at all a good movie. But compared with many other low-budget zombie flicks I've seen (particularly those I've watched for this month's Zombie-Thon), it has a somewhat contagious energy and vibe that's actually somewhat admirable.

That's not to say it's a perfect film, not by any stretch of the imagination. There are flaws a-plenty with both the story and the filmmaking. For one thing, there doesn't seem to be much consistency regarding the rules of the game – we are constantly told that the only way to win the game is make it off the island alive, and yet whenever a character punches, tackles, or kills a zombie, he is awarded onscreen "Power-Shot Points." Why? What good do the points do you? Even more odd is the fact that the zombies are given points, as well! Are the zombies competing in their own reality show that we haven't been clued in on?

I suppose these "Power-Shot Points" are just the movie's way of making everything feel more like a video game; which is a shame, since some of the movie's weakest moments come whenever it is trying hard to look and feel "futuristic" (check out the hilariously out-of-place audio FX dubbed in whenever characters open what are obviously just regular wooden chests). I say "some of the movie's weakest moments," though, because there is another scene that trumps all else as far as being the film's lowest point, and this one is almost unforgivable. Ready for this – at one point, Doomed arms a character with a chainsaw…and then he never once uses it!! I'm sorry, but when it comes to zombie films, you don't tease a potential "zombie meets chainsaw" bloodbath and then not deliver. That's just bad form.

Still, even despite its faults, Doomed ends up being quite the fun little zombie movie. Clocking in at only 76 minutes, it doesn't overstay its welcome – it's over before you can really start to be bothered by its more glaring flaws. And although anyone who has ever once watched a horror movie will be able to see the film's final "twist" coming from a mile away, I will give it this – up until that point, Doomed actually does a pretty damn good job keeping you guessing as to which characters are going to survive. Usually in these kind of films, you can pretty much figure out who is going to die and in what order after only a few minutes of meeting the characters, but Doomed actually manages to pull the rug out from under the viewer on a couple occasions, killing off the folks who seem like they might be the film's main heroes, revealing different sides to characters we think we have figured out, and suddenly shifting the focus to characters who have, until then, seemed like generic one-note baddies. Without giving too much away, I'll say this: the game's eventual "winner" was not who I would have expected at the start of the movie, and that's worth some points in my book. As a matter of fact, what the hell – I award Doomed 150 "Power Shot Points" for its clever subversion against the expected.

As I said, Doomed isn't the strongest zombie film you'll see, nor is it even that particularly memorable. But, on the bright side, it's also not as embarrassing as many of its other "straight-to-video" peers. It's short, inoffensive, and actually moves along quite well, with some halfway-decent action (emphasis on "halfway") and a fun assortment of characters. With better actors, I'd even go as far as saying this could have been a pretty damn good entry in the low-budget zombie canon. As is, it doesn't quite make it there, but if you're short on time and looking for a quick zombie fix, Doomed will do in a pinch.

FINAL SCORE: 2 out of 4 Bubs (Worth a Casual Look)