The 411 Top 5: Week 81

Posted by Trevor Snyder on 10.05.2007

The Top 5 Performances We Want to See

It's interesting that while so many people dream of being a famous actor or directot, no on really fantasizes about a career as a Hollywood casting director. OK, maybe it isn't as glamorous as acting, and maybe you don't get the glory of a director. But think of the power you could potentially wield. You want to see Steven Seagal in a family comedy? Want to see Ashton Kutcher in a 19th-century period piece? These dreams and more would be within your grasps.

This week, I asked my fellow 411 writers to think about the great performances that haven't happened yet, from the actors we're ready to see take some risks. What follows is the result, as we present:

THE TOP 5 PERFORMANCES WE WANT TO SEE


Trevor Snyder


5. Tom Hanks as a sick bastard

Tom Hanks might just be the nicest guy in Hollywood. Think about it, have you ever heard anyone say a single bad word about the guy? So it's not surprising that Hanks also has the market cornered on playing decent guys. Hell, even when he plays a hit-man, he's still likable (Road to Perdition). So isn't it about time he tried playing a total scumbag? And I'm not talking about the villain he played in The Ladykillers, who was more comedic than menacing. No, I want to see Hanks play a completely unrepentant son-of-a-bitch, preferably in a gritty drama. I know there's a good chance it would backfire, end up terrible, and be a huge mistake in retrospect. But, even still, my pure curiosity about whether Hanks could pull it off is so strong, I say let's take the risk.

4. Guy Pearce as Daredevil

As you've probably already heard, Marvel is currently in production on a brand new Hulk movie, which will essentially ignore the previous film and re-boot the series. I'm all for that, but while we're at it, why not try to fix the gigantic mess that they made of Daredevil. Anyone who has read the Daredevil comic for the last few years knows that he is one the companies best characters, and did not deserve the piss-poor adaptation he was given. I'd love to see a sequel/re-do, but obviously we're not gonna want Affleck back. Hey, I like Affleck, but he was all wrong for the role. How about instead we give the role to one of the first rumored front-runners last time? Most fans, including myself, were solidly behind seeing the Memento star as "The Man Without Fear." I still believe he's the right guy for the role, and might just be the character's only hope of revival.

3. David Schwimmer as a serial killer

Ross was always my favorite character on Friends, and this owed a large part to Schwimmer's hilarious performance. Now, call me crazy, but I always thought there was a lot more going on with Ross than the other characters – you know, something a little sinister just below the surface. Then again, maybe it's just Schwimmer himself. Whatever the case, I've always felt like there's something about Schwimmer that suggests he could play one hell of a creepy, crazy killer. Anyone who has only seen his work on Friends might be wondering what the hell I'm talking about, while those who watched his brief stint as an asshole drill sergeant on HBO's Band of Brothers might know a little bit what I'm talking about. Just try this – next time you watch anything with Schwimmer, see if you can't spot the slight undercurrent of darkness that has always seemed so obvious to me. I'm telling you, it's there, and I for one want to see Schwimmer finally exploit it.

2. Johnny Depp as Madman

In the comic-book world, Madman might not be as famous as the big characters from Marvel or DC, but he's a hell of a lot cooler than many of his more well-known fellow superheroes. A deceased hit-man, turned resurrected corpse, turned psychic crime-fighter, Frank Einstein is without a doubt one of the most creative and wacky comic creations in history. Given the book's over-the-top sensibilities and unique visual look, it's not surprising that Robert Rodriguez has been trying to get a Madman movie off the ground for years (last I heard, it's finally going to happen, but with Rodriguez simply in the producer's chair). If he's looking for the perfect Frank, he really needs to look no further than his good friend Depp, who would be a perfect match for a character that's so odd. With a question-mark hanging over whether there will be any more Pirates films, this could be a great new franchise for Depp – assuming the majority of America wouldn't find it just too damn weird.

1. Nathan Fillion as Indiana Jones' brother

If you've spent enough time online, you're probably already aware of the large cult following that Firefly/Serenity star Fillion has. A year or so ago, before the fourth Indy movie was officially greenlit, a vocal minority of these Fillion fans tried to push the idea of the actor taking over the role from Harrison Ford. As much as I like Fillion, I never agreed with this – I have no desire to see anyone play Indy other than Ford. But a brother? Now, that's a different story. I realize this is a long-shot, since the fourth film will probably be the last. But let's say, hypothetically, that they decide to go ahead and do a fifth film. And let's then say, hypothetically, that they decide to add a long-lost sibling to the mix. Now we're talking. As devoted Fillion fans already know, Harrison Ford is the man's acting hero, so you can bet he'd jump at the chance to share the screen with his idol. Plus, if Fillion ended up being great in the role (as I'm confident he would), you'd have a brand new character/actor to hand the franchise over to, keeping the series alive even after Ford decides to permanently hang up the whip. You see, everyone's a winner.



Peter Bielik

5. Heath Ledger as The Joker

I know this isn't a fantasy, it's been already cast, but no one has seen the performance so far, so I'm going to include it here anyway. Personally, I think The Joker is one of the best villains ever (in any medium). Even though Jack Nicholson portrayed him just fine, it was more of a LOL performance. From what we've heard so far, this new Joker is more of a scary psychopath, which is exactly how I prefer this character. The crew has so far praised Ledger very much and even respected actors like Gary Oldman and Michael Caine are deviating from the traditional hype script and say Ledger's performance really is something special (Caine especially went out of his way to praise him). I haven't been looking forward to a peformance like this in a VERY long time.

4. Sean Penn as a whomever in a comedy

It's been a long time since Fast Times at Ridgemont High and I definitely would like to see Sean Penn have some fun on screen. He's a tremendous actor, but he never seems to lighten up. All of his past movies were mainly very depressing and unpleasant - Mystic River, 21 grams, The Assassination of Richard Nixon, etc. Even when he does something easier to digest, like The Interpreter, it still has a serious undertone somewhere. Penn kicked ass as Spicoli and while I don't want to see him reprise the part, I think he'd be amazing in a good comedy role (like De Niro or Nicholson, for example).

3. Tobey Maguire as a mass murderer

There are still many great stories about mass murderers that haven't been told. I don't know why, but there is something about Maguire's face that'd be just perfectly suited for a total sociopath. He has it somehow in himself- the ability to look extremely sleazy. I think, it'd be a very good fit for him. Jeffrey Dahmer anyone?

2. The Rock as Kratos (from the VG God of War)

I'm not that huge VG geek I used to be when I was younger, but I still occasionally enjoy playing something just to relax. I bought God of War only because I've heard so much praise about it; I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. It is probably the best action game I've ever played and since I finished it, I always thought it'd make a great movie. The lead character, Kratos, doesn't look like much when seen only on pictures, but within the game, it's one of the most compelling VG characters in a long time. This game just begs to be made into a movie (I'm not sure, but I believe it was already announced) and in my eyes, there is no better person to portray Kratos than The Rock. If done correctly (i.e., they won't chicken out and make Kratos the sadistic bastard he is), this is the role that could propel Dwayne Johnson right to the top.

1. Clint Eastwood as Hartigan from Sin City

I am a huge Sin City fan. It was one of the most anticipated movies of my short life and while it turned out just fine, there is one casting choice I would definitely change. While he did a pretty decent job, Bruce Willis was simply too young to play a 60 year old Hartigan. Imagine old Clint in that part of the movie. Imagine him shooting Nick Stahl in the balls, imagine him slowly getting to the farm while coughing up blood. This would have been a complete no-brainer of a casting decision if it happened (think Patrick Stewart as Proffesor X). I know it's too late and it's never going to materialize, but if there ever was a performance I'd really like to see, it's Clint Eastwood as Hartigan.



Jerome Cusson

5. Tom Cruise in the "Tom Hanks role" playing against Tom Hanks in the "Tom Cruise role"

There's something about these two in the same movie that I think would be very interesting. Unlike what 99% of Hollywood would see these guys as, I'd like to see Cruise play the nice guy with Hanks as the cocky arrogant S.O.B. This would have played better in the mid-90s when their roles were more pronounced and predictable.

4. Leonardo DiCaprio and Robert DeNiro as Theodore Roosevelt

I've been hearing rumors about this for awhile. Both of these guys are fantastic actors, and both of Martin Scorsese's guys, as it were, could get to showcase themselves. I'd love to see DeNiro play such a gregarious and energetic man. I think it's against his type to play this kind of role so we'd get to see DeNiro actually challenge himself instead of doing crappy movies. Also, I'd like to see if Leo and Bobby come up with some similar character traits and how they would combine to create Theodore Roosevelt the character.

3. Morgan Freeman not as the wise old man

While he is a great actor with a very commanding presence, I'm sick and tired of Morgan Freeman as the wise old man in every single movie he's in. Run down the list and I promise you almost everything he's done for the last 20 years has been some form of him playing the wise old man. Hey, there are usually fantastic results, but for once I'd like to see him as a dumb old man or something else. I'm not saying he should take degrading roles, but just something to change it up.

2. The Rock in an Arnold Schwarzenegger type role

Based off the notable lack of success of some of his recent films, I think it's time for a mindless action movie. One where The Rock kills people, says cheesy lines, and creates a bigger body count then the amount of pages in the script. This isn't rocket science. If Schwarzenegger can build an entire career around doing these movies, The Rock can get some credibility back with a mindless action movie. He has a lot of charisma and I see some talent. The problem is he or his agent are picking the worst scripts EVER.

1. Paul Newman as Batman

Don't think I'm crazy now. I'm talking Batman Beyond. Newman was once the everyman in all of his movies. How awesome would it be if he came back one more time and played one of the most iconic characters as an older man playing off a new Batman played by someone like Nick Stahl, Elijah Wood or a bevy of other young actors. I know this will never happen, and with the current franchise now bringing Batman back, it's even less likely. I still think it would be a lot of fun to watch.



Owain J. Brimfield

HONORABLE MENTIONS

David Schwimmer as someone who isn't Ross, Chris Tucker as someone with a normal voice, & Jet Li as someone who isn't a martial artist

THE TOP 5

5. Sean Connery as Indy Sr. in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Okay, I'm deviating from the template for this week ever so slightly with this entry, as Connery has played Indy's dad before. But despite the actor's apparent grumpy bastard-ness, everyone was clamoring for his return to the role and with good reason - his chemistry with Harrison Ford was excellent, and the character himself was a curmudgeonly masterstroke. And with all the rest of the original trilogy's cast apparently returning in one capacity or another for the rather interestingly titled Indy 4, it seems sad that Henry Jones is going to be left out in the cold. A man can dream, though.

4. Brad Pitt as Captain America

This choice really stems from a morbid desire to see an absolute flop of a movie. Captain America, one of the lamest superheroes ever, previously depicted only in a horrendous TV movie (in which the great Captain's proudest achievement is pretending to throw up so he can steal his female companion's car). The American Way, a view of patriotism that has been heavily scorned in recent years and is frowned upon in the international market. Brad Pitt, once a talented actor now reduced to a media circus and caring for an endless farm of multicultural adoptees. It has all the hallmarks for failure; now if only we could get Uwe Boll attached to direct...

3. Christian Bale as a serial killer

He's played 'bad' and 'disturbed' before to great success (Harsh Times and The Machinist respectively), but it'd be nice to see one of his generation's finest actors sink his teeth into something really evil. Not a real-life murderer, but some new and abhorrent fictional creation under the guidance of, say, Fincher or Cronenberg. Bale could even give John Doe a run for his money as cinema's finest original killer. And no, I don't think American Pscyho counts - Bateman was a fantasist, not a real killer. This is a vote for Bale as someone really evil, without the facade.

2. The Rock as the Terminator in the upcoming T4

As Jerome says, The Rock is blessed with talent, charisma and an imposing physical figure (hey, that almost rhymed). Why not give him a chance at filling Ahnuld's shoes? It's been a while since the heyday of mindless action movies, when Arnie, Sly, Bruce et al could run around murderizing Europeans and traitors without so much as a by-your-leave or trace of compassion. Let's have a return of evil Terminator from the first movie in the series, and let The Rock play heel (hey, he showed promise in Doom, and no I'm not ashamed to reference that movie). If Richard Kelly's Southland Tales does what it should and provides Rocky with a meaty, credible role, his stock should shoot up even further, and this could be a real possibility.

1. John Travolta as Xenu

Who better to portray the leader of the Galactic Confederacy from the great charade of Scientology, than one of the "religion's" leading practitioners? Travolta knows a great deal about the source material, would be happy to participate in a "based on a true story" movie chronicling the evil Xenu's exploits 75 million years ago in his "space planes", and also has extensive experience in headlining genre classics such as Battlefield Earth. I'm not sure if founding Scientologist L. Ron Hubbard ever left an artist's impression or description of Xenu, but I'd like to imagine him as a fat, graying alien with a penchant for burgers and an unshakable conviction in his self-worth. Perfect casting. Thank me later, John, when Xenu: Incident II and the Wall of Fire revitalizes both your career and your beliefs!



Bryan Kristopowitz

HONORABLE MENTIONS

- Jessica Alba as Max, the character she played on her TV show Dark Angel: Yeah, I know this is a little beyond the scope of the topic in that Alba has technically already played the super soldier Max on television. But, I'd like to think that if Jimmy Cameron ever decided to do an actual movie version of Dark Angel, he'd tweak the character and the show premise to make it more palatable for the big screen. Or we could get an actual continuation of the show, and from the way the show ended, it's obvious that something really, really big was about to happen. No better way to do that that in a big budget, big butt movie.

- Olivier Gruner as the Terminator: Gruner has played an cyborg before (in the great Nemesis), but he's never played a "bad guy" cyborg, which is what he'd most definitely do in another Terminator movie. He's not as imposing as Ahnold, obviously, but he does have that facial intensity that Robert Patrick did as the T-1000. Gruner can walk, handle guns, kill at will and make it look easy, and most important for a new Terminator role, he's a kung fu master. Think about how cool that would be. Gives a whole new meaning to the term "judo chop!"

- Keith David as John Shaft: You know, as cool as Samuel L. Jackson was as "the man who would risk his neck for his brother man," Shaft!, I think that a great character actor like Keith David would have done a much better job. He would have been just as cool as Jackson, although it would have been a different kind of cool. And with an actor like David carrying the show (and if there's one guy out there who can carry a movie but is never given a chance), I'm willing to bet that Singleton's movie would have been a litle less flashy. And if it was less flashy, and more "grounded," man, we'd have already seen David as Shaft in Europe by now.

THE TOP 5

5. Natasha Henstridge as a high school teacher

Now, really, what raging, flaming heterosexual young man wouldn't want to have Henstridge as his teacher in any subject in high school? Damn skippy everyone would (and the lesbians would love it, too). But the kind of movie I'd love to see from her is a movie where she's a high school teacher. She's not taking over "troubled" kids, she doesn't have any special educational skills, and she's not going to be stopping gang warfare or anything like that. She's just a teacher in school. Henstridge isn't really a star actor, but she's not really a character actor, either. She's just an actor. And it's that quality, I think, that would work well in a movie about school. But, too, if we have to "jazz" things up for everyone, I can't think of a better actress to beat the crap out of terrorists or aliens or ghosts if any of them infiltrated the school. She'd excel in either one.

4. Gary Cole as the partner of Mandy Patinkin's Psychic Cop

You should really read the one below this first. Go ahead, read it, and meet me back here in a minute or two... Done yet? Okay, so there we have Patinkin's Psychic Cop character tracking down bad guys and making their heads explode and whatnot, he's going to need back up. In walks Gary Cole, who can be intense and menacing and a butt kicker, which is what Patinkin would need if his psychic mind bulldinky didn't work. And Cole can be funny, so that'd help, too.

3. Mandy Patinkin as a Psychic Cop

There was some major hooha not that long ago about a potential remake of Scanners, the David Cronenberg movie that helped make exploding heads famous. I'd like to think that while the Scanners name still has some oomph to sit and still matters to people, the actual story is kind of lame. The movie, or really the concept, that should be remade is the concept of a Scanner Cop (one of the off shoot franchise movies of the original) or a Psychic Cop. Imagine some kind of nasty future world, sort of like Blade Runner or something like that, and Patinkin running around as a psychic cop, chasing down bad guys and catching them. And, in the Scanners/Scanner Cop tradition, Patinkin can explode some heads, too, with his mind. If there's one thing Patinkin can do is play intense, and facial and physical intensity is one thing Patinkin can do effortlessly. Who the hell wouldn't go see a movie like that?

2. James Woods as the principal of an inner-city high school

Jim Belushi's best movie role, besides Nick Pirandello in Real Men, is his role as Rick Latimer, the principal of Brandel High, one of the worst high schools in Chicago. And then there's Morgan Freeman as "Crazy" Joe Clark, the principal of East Side High in New Jersey. Great job there. If you take both of those movies as templates for the kind of character an inner-city high school in a movie needs, well, then, there's only one man to call for the job (besides Belushi and Freeman, of course): James Woods. Intense, demanding, confrontational, and willing to kick butt. That's what you'd get with Woods as the principal. He wouldn't win an award for the role, but it sure as heck would be entertaining. And, heck, even if the high school was just some lame high school in the middle of nowhere, it'd still be cool to see Woods walking the school halls, being James Woods, shaping young minds and whatnot. It'd be a hoot.

1. Tom Hanks as a serial killer

He's already played a mob hitman in Road to Perdition, but a hitman really isn't a serial killer, right? Hanks is the most beloved actor in America (if not the most beloved, he's right up there), and in dang near every movie you immediately trust him. It doesn't matter what the movie is, you just trust him. Now, imagine Hanks as a remorseless killer, something along the lines of Ted Bundy or Henry from Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. It would freak the audience out, it would transform the movie and make it unbearable to sit through. It would be one of the best movie experiences of all time. Because you really couldn't trust the movie. It's Tom Hanks, man. Why did he just slit that woman's throat? Or, imagine the great Bill Lustig movie Relentless with Hanks in the Judd Nelson role. Holy crap that's scary.

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You hear that, Mr. Hanks? 411 was spoken, and we want to see you as the moral degenerate we all know you can be! Don't deny it any longer...you just know there's a twisted bastard somewhere down in there, just waiting to come out. You can only play "the nice guy" so many times, after all, before something snaps.

Next week, we start getting in the Halloween spirit, literally, with a look at The Top 5 Ghost Movies.