The Doctor in the Hallway News Report 11.07.07
Posted by Ben Moser on 11.07.2007
WGA talks break down at the last minute, Jennifer Connelly breaks out another remake, Katie Holmes makes a break for it, Ben Affleck needs a break(or at least some cheering up), and more in the latest Doctor in the Hallway News Report! Read it by midnight tonight, OR I STRIKE!!!
Hi kids, and welcome back to to the Doctor in the Hallway News Report. I just got back from an unprecedented(for me, anyway) third viewing of The Darjeeling Limited and liked even more the third time than I did the second time(and more the second than first, which you know if you read my review). There's just all kinds of quality to bask in, and I assure you that it would be foolish not to do so. Foolish, I say. I'm probably going to be singing the praises of this one for a while, so I apologize in advance for when June arrives and I haven't shut up yet.
Seems like even when there's a strike, there's news, so let's get to it!
Talks struck down
Both producers and writers are angry over the way talks collapsed Sunday night, with the two sides creating a "Rashomon"-like atmosphere of disagreement over who did what -- and when. But pretty much everyone agrees that action must be taken in the next 24 hours(as of Tuesday evening) if Hollywood is going to avoid a long and costly strike.
The question: Who will take the initiative to get talks to resume? The companies believe it's up to the writers to make the first move; the WGA says it's ready, willing and able to resume talks at any point.
Sources close to talks said that five key sticking points were on the table at the start of talks Sunday, and those had been whittled down to just two by the dinner break. Many in both camps feel that they could have made serious progress if the talks continued.
I am entirely on the side of the writers here. They're asking for a piece of the action that their work is getting, and a pretty reasonable one at that. If they can get those last two pieces of the puzzle put together soon, then I won't have to spend 2009 explaining to you that all of the movies suck because studios panicking over the impending strike bought something that Matt Damon and Ben Affleck wrote on a cocktail napkin at 11:59 on Sunday night. And we do want to avoid that.
For more on the strike, you can check out my comprehensive guide to the WGA Strike. In that column, I break down what's happening and how it will affect you as a consumer of what the kids are calling "the popular culture."
Connelly stands still and it's not a red carpet
Jennifer Connelly has signed on and Kathy Bates is negotiating to star in The Day the Earth Stood Still for 20th Century Fox. Keanu Reeves has already boarded the sci-fi remake.
Story kicks off as aliens land on Earth carrying a message for all humans: Live in peace or be destroyed. Connelly is set to portray Helen Benson, the role Patricia Neal played in the 1951 original.
Another day, another remake. Do you think this could solve the Iraq problem? What if we hung a few nukes over the region and said "live in peace or we'll make it so there's nothing but desert here." (wait for laughter) Or maybe we have to be little green men from space to get results out of that.
"Mirror mirror on the wall, whose the most topless one of all?"
Running Holmes
Katie Holmes' family have hailed as the actress as "amazing" for taking part in the New York City Marathon. Holmes completed the 26.2 mile race in five hours, 29 minutes and 58 seconds on Sunday - and her loved ones couldn't be happier for her. Mum Kathy says, "Isn't she amazing? She's such a good girl. We're so proud (of her)."
How did she do it? She imagined being chased by the Cruiser demanding she mother up another baby for him.
Ma Ma Meryl!
Meryl Streep angered former ABBA member Benny Andersson while shooting the big-screen adaptation of Mamma Mia! - because she did not know the words to his songs. Streep, who stars alongside Pierce Brosnan in the film version of the hit musical, thought she could remember the lyrics to the 1970s hits perfectly - until she realized the words were completely wrong. She says, "The funny thing is, I didn't even know I knew much about ABBA before I met Benny Andersson and (bandmate) Bjorn Ulvaeus, but then when I thought about it, I realized that all of their music was stuck in my head without my knowing it, that I knew every word to every song. Except that I got most of them wrong, which caused a little tension with Benny, because he's quite the perfectionist."
Oh dear. When your music is so inane that Meryl Streep, paragon of professionalism and awesomeness, doesn't take it seriously enough to learn the proper lyrics, maybe you shouldn't get mad at the nice and talented lady, but be thanking your lucky stars that somehow you were famous enough to get a play made based on your awful songs. Then you should lose sleep at night wondering how someone thought it was a good idea to turn that play into a movie.
"Helen Mirren, eat your heart out."
How the West was neckerchiefed
Producer Mark Headley, actor Christopher Mitchum and business partner Toni Covington have acquired remake rights to the 1952 classic Western High Noon.
The iconic original followed a town marshal (Gary Cooper) forced to face a gang of killers by himself. Grace Kelly also starred.
A director and a star are being sought to play the lead and hopes to begin shooting early next year with a target budget of about $20 million.
I know some of the guys around 411 might keel over, but old westerns are terribly dated and awful. There's a certain charm to them, but mostly kitschy charm rather than any lingering merit to the films. I'm sure it's true of a lot of old movies, but it seems to plague old westerns the most.
I say all that to say this: if you're going to remake High Noon, it had better be one of those Halloween-style "remake-in-name-only" deals.
This week's installment of CHEER UP, BEN AFFLECK!
The WGA strike may be holding you back from writing the next Good Will Hunting but CHEER UP, BEN AFFLECK! Your wife is a Broadway darling, and you know it! From the San Francisco Chronicle:
Ben Affleck fought back tears of pride as he jumped to his feet to give his actress wife Jennifer Garner a standing ovation at the close of her official first night on Broadway on Thursday.
As Garner, Kevin Kline and the cast of Cyrano De Bergerac took a curtain call, Affleck stood and cheered.
After the show, he beamed, "I think she is terrific and I am really just thrilled."
And it's not just Affleck who loves his wife's new role -- the actress' Broadway debut has been declared a hit by the top New York critics.
So rock that Best Screenplay Oscar to sleep and polish it with those prideful tears, Ben Affleck, even when your wife is getting more praise than Gone Baby Gone.
That'll do it for this week...
No Country For Old Men is out this weekend, which I'm probably not going to have seen by the time we see each other again, as I'll be in New York checking out Aaron Sorkin's The Farnsworth Invention, among other big city activities. So let me know how great the Coen Brothers' latest offering is.
Until next week, don't do anything I wouldn't do...
(this week's sources: Variety, IMDB, SF Chronicle)
