Furious on Film 11.22.07: Issue 115
Posted by Arnold Furious on 11.22.2007
A look at Frank Miller, Dylan Moran drunk shocker, horrendous 80s Italian spaghetti terror and Tommy Lee Jones meets Weekend at Bernies minus the jokes.
Furious on Film 11.22.07: Issue 115
A look at Frank Miller, Dylan Moran drunk shocker, horrendous 80's Italian spaghetti terror and Tommy Lee Jones meets Weekend at Bernies minus the jokes.
Before we start this week I'd like to remind everyone why it's taken so long to get back to reviewing films. Here below lies a list of links to the Furious on Film top 100 director's column. The one that took a huge chunk out of my life but earned me more positive feedback than a bundle of WCW reviews. Be warned though, this is a long read.
Thanks for reading, thanks for taking the time to email me and thanks for your continued support over the past hundred odd columns. I'll keep writing them if you keep reading them.
This week I have the following cinematic delights for your reading pleasure;
300, A Cock and Bull Story, Contamination, Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada
But first
ONCE UPON A TIMELINE From comic book to big screen; Frank Miller
January 1957. Born in Maryland, USA.
1978. Published for the first time by Gold Key comics. The book was the Twilight Zone.
1978. First work for Marvel comics drawing Chris Claremont book John Carter: Warlord of Mars.
1979. Drew Spider-Man and became attached to a then unpopular character called Daredevil.
1981. Took over as the creative mind behind Daredevil and through a series of fine stories in the early 80's made Daredevil into a major character in the Marvel universe. He'd write regularly for the book throughout the first half of the 80's and continued working with the character until 1993. He was also credited with creating Elektra during his first year on the book.
1983. Ronin. 6 issue run. Chances are this will end up as a film sooner or later.
1984. Penned my personal favourite Captain America story; Home Fires.
1986. Batman: The Dark Knight Returns. Arguably DC's greatest comic book, ever. Certainly regarded as the definitive Batman book and credited with launching comic books to a whole new level when it was released. The dark visuals and great storyline put Batman back where he belonged as a cult hero without the campness or "detective stories" aspect of his character. Batman was cool again and it was all down to Frank Miller. With this success under his belt he was now free to pick and choose his future projects.
1987. Batman: Year One. Not content with his destruction of the Batman universe here he reinvented it from scratch. Not only that he made every character vital to the storyline and created the second best Bat-book ever written. Second only to his own work.
1990. Entertaining the idea of a movie career Miller penned Robocop 2. His script was chopped up before it made it to the screen but wasn't a total disaster. He was commissioned for the third film also.
1990. Having left DC over the usual kind of stupid disputes that cost DC everything they build up Miller went to Dark Horse comics with the promise of freedom and creativity at his fingertips. His first work was on Martha Washington. The political satire was hugely successful and gave Dark Horse its first major hit as an independent.
1991. Sin City followed Martha. The first collection entitled the "Hard Goodbye" featured in Dark Horse Presents but was so popular it got released as a collection in 1993.
1993. Robocop 3. After being horrified to see how his script was butchered Miller claimed he'd never let Hollywood touch anything he wrote, ever. Already outraged at the potential for censorship in the world of comics his anger now went a step further.
1994. Continued work on Sin City with two graphic novels; "A Dame to Kill For" and the "Big Fat Kill".
1998. 300 appears as comic book for Dark Horse. Met with critical acclaim, much like all of Miller's work.
Late 90's. More Sin City books appear creating nine graphic novels by 1999.
Early 2000's. Robert Rodriguez made his own cinematic short of Sin City to show Frank Miller that not all people in Hollywood were jerks. Rodriguez proposed making Sin City into a series of movies. Miller, impressed with Rodriguez's short, agreed putting his movie past behind him.
2005. Sin City hits the big screen. It ended up grossing $158M worldwide and has also become a hit on DVD. Despite these figures the studio became nervous about the possibility of sequels not doing the same numbers. Production on Sin City 2 & 3 has now been pushed back.
2006. 300. Miller's book is converted for the big screen by Zack Snyder.
The future. Miller is currently directing "The Spirit" originally written by Will Eisner. The "grandfather of the graphic novel" whose name is used by the comic book world's version of the Oscars. Funnily enough Miller has won several Eisner's himself including 4 for Sin City, 1 for Martha Washington, one for Elektra and 1 for 300. Will Eisner himself has won several Eisner's before his death in 2005. Must have been weird handing out awards to himself.
300 (2006)
EXPECTATIONS I had doubts about Zack Snyder's heavy involvement with comic book movies because his only big previous flick is the remake of Dawn of the Dead, which while passable was never a good idea nor anywhere near as good as the original. Snyder has not only shot a Miller adaptation of 300 but also is set to film Watchmen. For those who don't know Watchmen is the best comic book, ever. It's also such a dense piece of source material that the film will have to be 3 hours long to get half of it in. Otherwise it'll end up missing out on too much good stuff. Like all the flashbacks and especially the pirate story. This would be Zack's big chance to win me over as a supporter as his next project is Watchmen.
TRAILER
PLOT With the mighty army of Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro. Also the name of a famous dead guy beginning with an X for fans of Go) approaching the shores of Greece it falls to the Spartans to either defend their honour or bow before Xerxes for his favour. The Spartans leader King Leonidas (Gerald Butler) doesn't believe in bowing and takes his personal guard of 300 for a "stroll" in order to fight the oncoming army. Back home his wife Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) seeks to get the approval of the elders to support a war and prevent her husband's death.
OPINION Already one of the most imitated films in recent years 300 takes the world of comic books and splashes it across the screen. It's a visual feast, often reminding me of Sin City in its style. Not only is it stylish but its action packed. It's one of those old timey man movies specifically designed to please any red blooded man who happens to watch it. It has loads of fighting, it has innovative and slick photography and it has fantastic one liners that drunk people can shout at each other. I must admit I was a little sceptical about the chances of this coming off. There were times in the film's early going where the clothing they wear is really off-putting (the whole S & M uniform deal) and the acting was pretty one dimensional. When the chaos of the battle erupts then all of this in unimportant. Everything that nagged at me was no longer an issue. 300 is just a terrific action film. What would worry me is that Snyder managed action but every time things slowed up the film wasn't anywhere near as strong. Watchmen doesn't have a tonne of action in it. The opposite in fact. It's mostly talking. I'd be worried about Snyder's ability to capture the mood that makes Watchmen so great. It's almost hard to put my finger on exactly what's so great about it but I can tell you right now it's not the action scenes, which are rare. 300 is entirely reliant on great action, which it has in spades, so he's fine here. As soon as Leonidas and Xerxes get their armies head to head it's none stop carnage for the remainder of the film. The only cutaways from the bloodshed being to Gorgo and her efforts to win over the sleazy Theron (Dominic West) who stands in the way of war in the council. Luckily this features the two best actors in the film so it's not hard going. Back on the battlefield Xerxes pulls out every trick in the book in an attempt to crush the 300 Spartans. The best being the sky full of arrows provoking laughter from the Spartan army. "Fight in the shade" chuckles one and the others laugh along with him. These guys are nuts. They're not put off by anything Xerxes throws at them including silky smooth bribes, his personal guard of "Immortals" or elephants and other beasts. It's as the battle continues that Butler starts really hitting his best form yelling out instructions and generally being incredibly manly. Limbs go flying and everyone has a great time. It's not the most intellectual of films but fuck it, sometimes you just want destruction and mayhem and madness. Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!
BEST BIT As the battlefield is set a messenger tries to goad the Spartans into surrender before the battle begins. Leonidas' answer is a spear through the chest from distance. Good shot sir.
RATING - ****. Good honest fun. A blinding action film that overcomes it's shortfalls by largely avoiding any scenes that require any major acting work. Instead we get some killer one liners. The best probably being "Spartans; tonight we dine in hell", which makes the trailer with ease. I can see why people don't like it but I can also see how the majority of 411's readers are probably in favour of its existence. Possibly the manliest film since Spartacus.
Sidenote 585 people are killed in this movie (according to IMDB.com). Moviebodycounts.com, yes it exists, has the tally at 600 (including title sequence). Which makes 300 the second highest ever in terms of body counts. The number one? Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, which has a whopping 836 in its extended version. Leonidas himself kills 34 people during the course of the film, which is more than Tony Montana in Scarface. I love these little trivia bits.
A Cock and Bull Story (2005) aka Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story (USA)
EXPECTATIONS Director Mike Winterbottom previously worked on Welcome to Sarajevo and 24 Hour Party People. His most recent work prior to this was the controversial and pornographic 9 Songs. As you can see he has some fine work behind him going into A Cock and Bull Story. I'm particularly fond of 24 Hour Party People; a film about the Manchester music scene from the POV of club owner and record label owner Tony Wilson (Steve Coogan). It's a movie where God hates ginger people and everyone else hates jazz. I like it. It's urban. It's good. Having Winterbottom and Coogan together again for this jaunt made it essential viewing.
TRAILER
PLOT Based on the book the "Life and Times of Tristram Shandy, Gentleman", an unfilmable novel written in the 18th century by Laurence Sterne, A Cock and Bull Story shows scenes from the Tristram Shandy (Steve Coogan) film along with the antics on set as Coogan and co-lead Rob Brydon debate the film.
OPINION Part of the gag in the life story of Tristram Shandy is that he takes forever to explain anything. So, the Tristram Shandy adaptation is essentially a film where nothing happens because Tristram isn't even born during the first part of the book. It's actually not until the third part of the novel that he comes into being (the novel was written over 8 years and 9 volumes). Therefore this adaptation of the first part features Coogan playing Tristram's father Walter, Bryson Tristram's uncle Toby and everyone else playing themselves. Bar the director who replaces himself with another director called Mark (Jeremy Northam). Does any of this make sense? There are 2 or 3 scenes from the completed film then the rest of the film is just a series of life problems for Steve Coogan. Like his shoes not being tall enough, Brydon having "off white" teeth, key parts of the film being missing from the script, Gillian Anderson's impending arrival to play Toby's love interest, everyone keeps doing Alan Partridge impressions and Coogan's girlfriend (played by Kelly MacDonald) is here to visit him while he's contemplating an affair with film buff Jennie (Naomi Harris). In short A Cock and Bull Story is a film within a film about making a film that can't be shot. Considering this it's remarkably easy to follow with the book only being touched upon when everyone is in full costume. Normally movies about making movies don't have much edge to them but A Cock and Bull Story is completely different. Coogan's self destruction on set is a joy to behold and signals his genuine arrival as an actual actor rather than a bit part comedy player. The Alan Partridge references are superb as well as suggestions that Coogan's private life has been a little controversial. The support is terrific with Mark Williams (of Fast Show and Harry Potter fame) playing a war re-enactment guy who takes it a little too seriously. He also provides us with one of many Alan Partridge impressions. Dylan Moran steals the show for me though essentially transferring Bernard Black's belligerent drunk book shop owner back to the 18th century and changes him into a doctor. A belligerent drunk doctor. His snappy dialogue is incredibly entertaining and he's equally as entertaining as himself where he shows there's a fine line between art and life. Again, it's taking inside shots at reputations with Moran clearly labelled a drunkard by his fellow performers.
BEST BIT Gillian Anderson hanging out at the bar and asking Dylan Moran about his drinking habits. OR Steve Coogan telling a child actor that he has to emote more when his penis is trapped by a falling windowframe OR Dr Slop (Moran) suggesting the mother's vagina will "mash" a babies head before using his forceps to break the child's nose OR the conversation about teeth. There are many moments.
RATING - ****. If only there was a good ending. As it turns out there really isn't one at all just Coogan and Brydon discussing who they channelled for the performance. Brydon being particularly funny as he talks about Al Pacino at great length. A Cock and Bull Story needed a little more of the original concept to truly thrive. The adaptation of a crazy book could have been funny without the post-modern weirdness and lengthy conversations about films. While I liked a lot of it there were some parts that fell flat. On the upside its ironic that A Cock and Bull Story was based on a novel that struggled to get around to telling the actual story and yet when it attempts to do so fails to tell the actual story at all. But that is deliberate. And funny. Just disappointing that no one bloody well saw it. Time to right that wrong ladies and gents.
Contamination (1981) AKA Alien Contamination or Toxic Spawn.
EXPECTATIONS I have no idea why I'm watching this although I suspect its part of my campaign to cover films once on the Video Nasty banned list as this gore-fest once had that dubious honour. I've found most of the films on that list to be terrible so I don't know why the campaign continues. Ah well, must educate and all that.
TRAILER
PLOT On discovering exploding alien eggs in New York City a colonel from some shady unnamed US government division Stella Holmes (Louise Marleau) goes on a trip to South America to find the source of the eggs with New York cop Tony Aris (Marino Mase) and former astronaut Ian Hubbard (Ian McCulloch).
OPINION I have no idea where to start here. This film is so terrible, so badly conceived and executed that I have the pleasure of informing you it comes all the way back around to good again. I almost wished I'd done an "At the Movies" column on it instead (linkage for At the Movies columns, just the ones with At the Movies before them). It's shockingly bad. Ok, we start out with a bunch of incompetent New York coppers finding a ship with nothing on board but eggs that at least one dumbass flatfoot mistake for ripe vegetables. As soon as they start exploring these eggs one explodes. When the egg's "yolk" gets on people they then explode as well. This brings forth some excruciatingly awful "special" effects where people explode. And worryingly that was the film's budget. Ketchup and squibs. Stella is brought in to solve this whole thing and gets lumbered with greaseball ladies man Tony in the process. Quite why she needs him after it becomes apparent he knows NOTHING is confusing. Even worse is her decision to add former astronaut and delusional alcoholic Hubbard to the South America mission. And that's her entire crew. She goes off in search of the cause of this deadly strain of mutated alien egg and takes those two bozos with her. The meeting with Hubbard is superb because of a prop mixup. Obviously the intention was to have a colour photograph of the egg. "Green, like in your photo" says Hubbard. Unfortunately the photograph was in black & white. Yeah, that's around the level. What really irks me about Contamination is that the eggs are crap. They explode and kill anything nearby. So why not just, yanno, walk a little to the side. Oh, damn, now you can't be killed like morons. And nothing is ever brought up about the workers who kill themselves bringing the eggs into America. Why were they bringing them in? For what purpose? Why are they happy to die? Probably been brainwashed by the large inanimate plastic cyclops that gets rolled out for the film's conclusion. The film was already crap but hypnosis? That's a regular barrel scraper. Meanwhile Hubbard, the drunkard who's completely lost his mind, manages to infiltrate this crazy operation despite constantly being in the wrong place and is then chastised in English, in a Spanish speaking country. Speaking of which the whole film suffers horribly from a brutal dub. Not the worst ever or anything like that but it's almost enough for me to forget about the awesomeness of the street festival in whatever South American country they end up in. It's brilliant. Little girls with cigars and then an old guy with this massive cigar the size of his arm. It's like a parody of Cuba. One of several laugh out loud moments of unintentionally crap comedy. Oh, and Mars is a big red planet. It doesn't look like Greenland. In short this is a blatant attempt at stealing the audience of Alien by having eggs and exploding chests. Only Alien had a big scary monster. Contamination has crap actors and no budget.
BEST BIT It was all equally as good.
RATING I can't in good conscience give this hilarious, yet dreadful, film the DUD it probably deserves so I'll just let you make up your own snowflake rating based on how much you like really terrible films. I'm fairly certain MST3K has done an episode on this and they probably didn't need to work hard. A quick check reveals they haven't. Shame. It's shambolic.
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)
EXPECTATIONS I saw the trailer and got hooked on the concept that Tommy Lee Jones was selling me. It seemed like a great idea. It also had overwhelmingly positive press scoring 84% fresh on RottenTomatoes.com. I also noted there was no review of the film on 411. Time to change that. Also of import would be writer Guillermo Arriaga. He previously collaborated with Inarritu on Amores Perros and 21 Grams. Both great films. He also came up with the concept for Babel but didn't see it through to the conclusion, which is unusual seeing as its Inarritu's worse film to date. Here's a chance to see his work with a different director.
TRAILER
PLOT After the accidental shooting of his friend Melquiades Estrada (Julio Cedillo) rancher Pete Perkins (Tommy Lee Jones) kidnaps the man responsible; border patrol officer Mike Norton (Barry Pepper) and forces him to dig up Mel's body. Pete swore to Mel that he'd take him home to Mexico if he ever died. Eager Sheriff Belmont (Dwight Yoakam) ignored that and just buried him. Pete and Mike head south into Mexico dodging border guards in the hope of burying Melquiades in his home town of Jimenez.
OPINION My first impressions of this film were positive. Barry Pepper plays a fantastic asshole. His border guard debuts by being a complete jerk and breaking a woman's nose when she won't stay down. Likewise Tommy Lee Jones debuts well as a world weary cowboy looking for one moment of final salvation. The two collide over the shooting and Pete goes into Mike's house to kidnap him. All that is good. That whole first segment is really moody and atmospheric and very well written. Then they dig the body up and I'm sat there thinking "Weekend at Bernies". And I couldn't shake that feeling for the rest of the film. Luckily the dead body comedy is kept to a bare minimum but when the ants try to eat Melquiades' body I'd gone from being positive about the movie over to the other side. That's the point at which my faith in the film ran out. The only saving grace of the second half of the movie is a killer turn from Levon Helm as a blind hermit that totally steals the show. Every line he delivers just totally murders everything else in the film. Even the jerk Barry Pepper's violent debut and Dwight Yoakam's little comedy bits. I think critics have been rather generous because the Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada is like one of those epic westerns where honour and virtue is at stake. And it takes a long time to get them. Three Burials creeps along at a painfully slow pace. Long shot after long shot of Southern Texas and Northern Mexico follows with very little to actually capture the imagination. It's quite atmospheric, as I mentioned earlier, but ultimately the concepts at play are far too PC for my liking. The Border Patrol are all assholes and all Mexicans are kind hearted. They're caricatures in the end. Not real people. And what's with the ending? Abrupt doesn't even begin to cover it. Maybe I'm missing the point but I just didn't really get it. Was the wife lying? Why make up Jimenez? Why have this whole pact when Melquiades is significantly younger than Pete? How could he know he'd be accidentally shot? None of this really adds up. Reviewers leaning positively towards the film have claimed the ending is like real life. We'll never really know for sure why all these things happen. That doesn't make the ending anymore satisfying.
BEST BIT Levon Helm's career best cameo. I don't know what he was channelling, possibly Ray Charles, but it's a great performance from a guy who isn't really an actor. More a musician. Incredible stuff.
RATING - **1/2. It's not a bad film but it does become an unsatisfying one. I really didn't enjoy the majority of the second half and felt the characters lost their way and never came back. The whole Weekend at Bernies dead body moving was silly at times when it didn't need to be. It's somewhat saved by some great acting performances and a script that delivers to a point. It's just let down by lots of little things, which is frustrating because it had the ingredients to be very good. As it stands it's just ok. It's one of those films that I can live with the fact that no one saw it.
NEXT Basket Case, A Ma Soeur, James Foley's Confidence and more!
