The Doctor in the Hallway News Report 12.12.07

Posted by Ben Moser on 12.12.2007

Nicolas Cage and the end of the world, Paul Rudd and the beginning of a wedding flick, George Clooney in the middle of Darfur, and much, much more in this week's edition of The Doctor in the Hallway News Report. Read it, or I'll let Amy Winehouse act as your designated driver.

Hi kids, it is my honor to welcome you back to the Doctor in the Hallway News Report. I've been watching a lot of the Back to the Future trilogy on the various movie channels lately, and I find it deliciously ironic that movies that go out of their way to date themselves remain so timeless. I've also decided that part II exists only as a vehicle to set up the major plot points of part III. It's still a fun watch, but feels like there's only a little bit of its own beast in between getting Doc to the Old West and the cutesy future segment which was mostly an excuse to make future jokes and dress Michael J. Fox in drag for a cheap laugh. Also, after much viewing, I've decided that part III takes a lot of crap it doesn't deserve. The ZZ Top cameo alone is pretty good.

My views on Back to the Future aside, it's time for some news!


I knew Nicolas Cage would be involved with the end of the world...

Nicolas Cage is set to star in Knowing, a thriller to be directed by Alex Proyas. Summit Entertainment will fully finance and distribute the pic, which begins production March 17 in Melbourne.

Cage will play a teacher who examines the contents of a time capsule unearthed at his son's elementary school. Startling predictions in the time capsule that have already come true lead him to believe the world is going to end at the close of the week and that he and his son are somehow involved in the destruction.

I'll admit that I'm a sucker for "grim predictions of the future" plots, and Cage doesn't entirely offend me(sometimes he even pleasantly surprises me). That said, I'm pretty sure that if you buried the pictures I drew in elementary school and then dug them up this year, you could totally say that I predicted the Honda Element...that is to say that Honda stole my design. Seriously, check the evidence. All of the cars I drew then were boxes on wheels. The Honda Element? I rest my case. I should sue.


Not Rudd-erles

Paul Rudd is set to star in the comedy I Love You, Man, directed and written by John Hamburg for DreamWorks.

Jason Segel is in final negotiations to also star in the film, which centers on a man who seeks out a male friend to serve as the best man at his wedding.

Rudd will play the soon-to-be betrothed, with Segel as his best man.

Rudd is a heckuva talented comedic actor, and I'm hoping that this will be a good male bonding type of movie. The problem is that Rudd often shows up in a place where i need my mobile service to work...a place called Chickflickvilleland. So anytime I see "Rudd" and "wedding" in the same sentence, I'm pretty sure I won't end up interested in the product.


"You were expecting cheesecake? Me too. I was just preparing for a Jessica Beil picture...it's why I'm like this, actually."


George Clooney: also a better person than I am

Actor George Clooney will make a second awareness-raising trip to the war-torn Darfur region of Sudan next month. The 46-year-old hopes his celebrity status will draw more attention to the appalling conditions in the area as he tours the most affected areas of the crisis. Clooney says, "I'm not a politician, so the reason I go is to focus attention there. We're going to try to get deeper into Darfur, try to get some cameras in to the tougher camps and have conversations. That's basically all I can do. If you put famous people in front of very ugly sites, people will watch." Clooney visited Darfur with his father, a former U.S. news anchor, last year. They shot a short film about the horrors of the refugee camps. Details of Clooney's upcoming trip are being kept secret for security reasons. The actor admits he feels compelled to do all he can to raise awareness in Darfur: "It certainly reminds you to be ridiculously happy with your life. Once you see people suffering in the way these people are suffering, you feel very guilty about not suffering at all." On Thursday, Clooney and his Ocean's Eleven co-star Don Cheadle will be honored for their efforts in Darfur at the World Summit Of Nobel Peace Prize Laureates in Rome, Italy. Both actors will receive the Peace Summit Award at the event.

The sad thing is, he's right. If you put someone pretty in front of something ugly, people pay more attention. Had you heard of Lyle Lovett before he married Julia Roberts? Have you heard of him since the divorce?


Will Smith is not glib

Will Smith planted his hand and footprints into the cement outside Hollywood landmark Grauman's Chinese Theatre on Monday and received an unexpected tribute from pal Tom Cruise. The I Am Legend movie star wasn't expecting the Top Gun actor to show up for his big honor. He said, "That kinda caught me off guard a little bit." Cruise insisted Smith was deserving of the honor, stating, "He's an extraordinary guy... he's truly an exceptional human being."

"That kind of caught me off guard a little bit" is code for "I'm glad he didn't do anything embarrassing or crazy on my big day." Cruise seems to have finally re-bottled up his crazy, which can only mean good things for him.

Will Smith, in the mean time, is working on a new version of "Parents Just Don't Understand" for little Suri called "Parents Just Don't Understand(Not Being Crazy)." You know, just in case.

Charlize Theron's Christmas album is not real

Charlize Theron has become the latest victim of callous thieves who have turned the Hollywood Hills into a hotbed of crime. The Monster Oscar winner's home was targeted by robbers this past weekend, who broke into her estate, according to Tmz.com. As WENN went to press it was not clear if the actress was at home when the burglary took place. There are also no details as to what was taken in the raid. The year started off with Faith Hill and Tim McGraw falling victim to the Hollywood Hills crime wave. Thieves stole an unspecified amount of money from their home in February. And Duran Duran star John Taylor's Hollywood home was also hit by robbers.

The robbers were kindly informed that Charlize Theron was an actress, and not a terrible recording artist. All of her belongings were returned except a few clips of the practice sessions for Monster where an ugly-makeup-free Theron making out with Christina Ricci. Those will be on the internet soon.

Got your hopes up, didn't I?


"Paul Rudd? No, I'm here for Ben Moser"

This week's installment of CHEER UP, BEN AFFLECK!

The Red Sox' off season may have been overshadowed by Detroit's but CHEER UP, BEN AFFLECK! You're receiving critical acclaim! From eFluxMedia:

Actor/director Ben Affleck received the best new director award for Gone Baby Gone, his Boston-set adaptation of the novel by local author Dennis Lehane.

So next year when you're out of everyone's top 20 list of directors, remember you were once the best new one for one year.


That'll do it for this week...

I Am Legend looks more and more like a good time every time I watch the trailer, so there's your homework. Will Smith is pretty much a proven winner at this point, so the sooner we all accept it and give in to his will, the less it will hurt. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to rap myself to sleep with the theme to The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and "Nightmare on My Street." I'll be here next week. Until then, don't do anything I wouldn't do...

(this week's sources: Variety, Hollywood Reporter, IMDB, eFluxMedia)