I'm Not Gonna Lie: 12.16.07: This is Man's Work!
Posted by Nick Wallander on 12.16.2007
Back in 1964 a little holiday special called "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" aired for the very first time. 43 years later it is as popular as ever...however, is there more to it than meets the eye? 411's Nick Wallander examines the Christmas classic for some hidden meanings you might have never noticed before. This and more in this week's edition of I'm Not Gonna Lie!
I'm not gonna lie…
Stories you don't want to hear about from a man you don't care about.
If someone were to ask you to name a Christmas television special off the top of your head, what would be the first name you blurt out? More likely than not you will mutter the words "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer". This television special aired on NBC in 1964, which makes it the longest running holiday television special. To say that it is a classic is pure understatement. Ultimately it is more than just a great holiday story that brings joy, cheer, and a sense of holiday magic to the youth of America. When you take a good look at this one you can see that there is more going on that meets the eye. As you read ahead I will share with you my theory of the Christmas classic "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer".
The special first aired in the mid 60s, which we all know was a time of great unrest in America. There were anti-war protests, civil rights rallies, and riots galore. The issues at hand were often represented in all forms of media, most prominently music. However, I think that the "Rudolph" special may have been a stealth means to address such issues. Mad props need to be given to the creators of this special because, intentional or not, they gave a heavy dose of reality to children across the world.
Yeah, okay, so I am sounding like a PBS special, but I promise this is where it gets a little interesting. The most important idea in my theory is that many core characters in this special represent oppressed sub-groups in society. I think the best place to start is with the titular character, Rudolph.
Isn't he just god damned adorable? Well, that didn't matter to the other reindeer in Rudolph's community up in the North Pole. As it turns out, they were a bunch of bigot pricks who liked to pick on people about things they couldn't control. Of course I am referring to the disability involving the young buck's nose illumination syndrome. Yes, I am referring to is a disability. Hell, you might even call it a birth defect. The poor kid didn't have a damn thing to do with how he was. Chances are that Mrs. Donner was a heavy smoker and drinker during her pregnancy. It was the 60s after-all wasn't it? That kind of behavior was acceptable then.
So, poor Rudolph got no respect and was pretty much shunned by the others who didn't expect much from the kid. And why were they this way? Because the guy's nose lit up red. That's not really fair, is it? As we all know, a disability does not deter a person from being a productive member of society. Santa's reindeer felt differently. It is a common known fact that they were ignorant assholes who figured Rudolph would at best be suited as a Wal-mart greeter. Hell, the worst part was the shame that Donner had for his own son, even trying to mask the problem with a little dirt. Fortunately for the sake of diversity, they were dead wrong. Rudolph rose about the naysayers just like that autistic kid who shot all those three pointers in that high school basketball game last year.
Yes I am aware that one could also compare Rudolph's situation to racial intolerance, but a disability seems a little more fitting.
Another main character that clearly is more than meets the eye is Hermey the Elf.
You see, my friends, Hermey was an elf who just didn't feel the same affinity for toy building as the other elves. His brain and physiology were wired a little differently than other elves. Toys just didn't do it for him. He had a preference for an entirely different line of work, dentistry. This was something that short stuff kept bottled up for years in fear of being persecuted by his peers. And when that secret aspiration was revealed, Hermey didn't really get a warm reception. Hermey's supervisors and peers seemingly wanted to tell him how he should behave. They seemed ashamed and embarrassed by their co-worker. Understanding Hermey's feelings was way beyond their comprehension. As far as they knew, this was a conscious decision that could be changed if need be. Hermey is essentially relieved of his duties as a toy maker and exiled to wander the greater North aimlessly. One would suspect that they hadn't yet understood the concept of a hate crime, so Hermey was spared the physical violence.
See where I am going with this? Hermey was clearly the gay elf coming out of the closet. The more you watch the special, the more you can see it in his stereotypical 1960s mannerisms. The only thing missing was a limp wrist. This little sociological allegory was almost too obvious, especially considering Hermey's brilliant theater skills when he busts out into his various song and dance routines. If the special had been produced this past year I am sure that Hermey would have literally been flaming at some point in time.
Let us not forget that the "Rudolph" special aired during the Vietnam war, so we couldn't go Scot free without a character portraying a homeless war vet.
Look at that crazy son of a bitch. The creators of "Rudolph" may have been ahead of their time, but looking back now, it is clear as to what Cornelius really represented. First off, the man is clearly homeless. He wanders around the tundra with a pack of dirty ass dogs and looks dirty as hell himself. All he is missing is a shopping cart. Also, take a look at his clothes. They look like the wardrobe of a homeless man. Now, when you re-watch the special with your family, take a good look at his hands. Yukon Cornelius only has four fingers! Clearly they could have been blown off by Viet Cong snipers in the jungles of Laos or Cambodia. Also, if a man went to war in ‘Nam, there is a good chance he didn't come back mentally healthy. Wow, what a coincidence! Yukon Cornelius is bat-shit crazy! It would appear that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder has caught up with the guy. He has delusions of there being gold magically encased in the ice and also is convinced that the only way to find it is to lick as much shit as possible. Simply put, Yukon Cornelius needs a therapist sooner than later.
Then there is this guy:
The Abominable Snowman is clearly a rehabilitated convict that had moved into the neighborhood. Everyone seems to fear him for no particular reason. At the first sign of trouble on the block, he is going to get blamed for it. Whether it is some kids egging a house, or a car being jacked, Abominable Snowman is taking the fall. Clearly the big oaf cleaned up his act, which is observed at the end of the film when he assists with the Christmas tree. I have a feeling that today's standards would have had the Abominable Snowman labeled as a sex offender moving into a new neighborhood. He would have to go house to house with his list until he finally got to Santa's place. I assume Mr. Claus would have answered the door with a shotgun in hand and a lynch mob on hold.
I'm not gonna lie, though. That thing clearly looks capable of killing a man. It probably eats people or even better, wears them like a Halloween costume. However, I doubt that he's clever enough to be a full fledged serial killer, or even a child molestor for that matter. I'd wager to say that this guy would be baffled by the sight of his own penis, so seeing some kid's parts would blow his fucking mind.
The Island of Misfit Toys is a similar metaphor. Rather than being rehabilitated convicts, they are instead supposed to represent a band of kids sent to a juvenile detention center. They were all sent there so that someone could forget about them and not deal with the problem. Hmmm. Sounds eerily familiar to the prison system as a whole nowadays.
This guy named Donner happens to be a sexist asshole. This really isn't anything hidden or metaphorical, but it needs to be noted. It is a prime example of how things have changed since 1964. Back then it was okay for a character to say things like this one did. There is a scene where Rudolph's mother intends on leaving the cave to find the wayward son, however Donner disagrees with this plan. His exact words go as follows:
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: Old Donner felt pretty bad about the way he had treated Rudolph, and he decided the only thing to do was to go out and look for his little buck. Mrs. Donner wanted to go along, naturally, but Donner said...
Donner: No. This is man's work.
Narrator: Sam the Snowman: And no sooner did the man of the house leave when Mrs. Donner and Clarice decided to set out on their own. Now they were really taking their chances.
Back in 1964, people didn't even think such a statement by Donner was appalling. Nowadays there would be women's rights groups all over that shit. It would be a news story for at least a couple weeks and someone would have gotten fired over that line. But hey, in 1964 people actually thought like Donner. Women weren't supposed to be accomplishing as much as men or even given the opportunity. It is good to see that Donner's wife and Clarice decide to fight the man and go out on their own.
1964. That would be 43 years ago. Wow. Things sure have changed, yet sometimes feel absolutely the same. Perhaps that is why "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" will be a timeless classic. No, I don't say that based solely on its holiday charm. It is a story we all can relate to with real-world themes that have affected each and every one of us at some point in time. It is one of my favorites….even if Yukon Cornelius is capable of stabbing you at the drop of a dime.
THIS WEEK'S QUICK HITS
- Will Arnett was cast as the new voice of KITT the car on the upcoming "Knight Rider" project on NBC. I'll cut to the chase on this one. I am frakkin psyched that Will Arnett is part of this series. However, I don't think even he can save it. Google some of the promotional pictures and try to tell me that you disagree. The new Michael Knight apparently dresses like the old one and even has an 80s mullet. That would work if the show was set in 1987, which it surely isn't. Dumbasses.
- The Golden Globes came out this past week. Same old shit. Good comedies like "Knocked Up" or "Superbad" were not nominated. The only thing that was a pleasant surprise was that "Pushing Daisies" was nominated as a series and that its two leads were nominated as well. Speaking of that show, it keeps drawing me in week after week. It is like television crack, only I don't need to buy it from a guy in a gas station bathroom (Easy there crazy Pat, I didn't tell them which gas station. Your secret is still safe).
- ABC's hit show "LOST" will start its fourth season on Thursday, January 31st. This is great news since we are stuck watching reruns and garbage right now. Even better is that the show is taking up the "Grey's Anatomy" timeslot at 9/8 pm Eastern. This is great news because that means the suits at ABC are losing faith in the adventures of McPouty Grey are her band of crotch thrusting slut doctors.
- British tabloid, The Sun, reported last week that Jessica Alba is pregnant. What can I say? I am good at what I do.
- The new cast of "American Gladiators" can now be found on the NBC website, complete with bios and pictures of our new roided warriors. The new batch sure doesn't have the same badass appeal like Nitro, Lace, Zap, Malibu, and Turbo did. Hell, they don't even have great names. Toa? Stealth? Really? They must have just opened up a dictionary and randomly pointed at some entries. However, I can't lie here. I will probably watch a few episodes. Not for the excitement, action, or production values. More so for this guy:
Yep. Think about that one until next week. His name is Wolf by the way. He's so manly it hurts to just look at him. Yet I am oddly compelled to run my hands through his wavy mane……. Crap, I just typed that.
