The Doctor in the Hallway News Report 12.19.07
Posted by Ben Moser on 12.19.2007
Awards shows without writers, Midwestern theaters without Sweeney Todd, a movie without a poster, and ever so much more in the delayed edition of The Doctor in the Hallway News Report. Read it, or I'll volunteer you to babysit for Jamie Lynn Spears.
Well, kids, I welcome you back to a delayed version of the Doctor in the Hallway News Report. I know you woke up on a Wednesday morning and ran straight for 411mania knowing that it was time for everyone's favorite column. I wish I had a compelling reason to give you for the fact that you were shattered by the absence of said column. I, for example, could tell you that I was so engrossed in the knocking up of Jamie Lynn Spears that I just couldn't be bothered to write this report in a timely fashion. Actually, let's just go with that excuse.
No more excuses. Now is the time for news!
How do you make an awards show even more boring than usual?
The WGA plans to picket the Golden Globes ceremonies on Jan. 13, assuming it's still on strike at that point.
The move means that actors are unlikely to cross the picket line, although SAG said only that it was seeking reaction from members who have been nominated before announcing its plans.
A WGA spokesman confirmed the decision to picket, a day after the WGA turned down a request for a waiver from Dick Clark Prods., producer of the Globes. The WGA's also denied a waiver request from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciencs for use of clips and has said it won't OK an interim agreement for writing services so long as it's on strike.
So we may get the Globes and the Oscars without nominees trying to ignore not winning and reading lists of folks to thank. We'll also get them without writers. So the normally asinine exchanges between presenters will probably be even moreso, and the monologues from hosts will probably be lacking some punch, too.
If the SAG decides not to cross the picket line, I think I'll volunteer myself as a scab award acceptor. I honestly can't think of a better way to spend my evening than to accept Best Supporting Actor and Best Actress in the same night.
I cast ye Demons (of Fleet Street) out!
In an unusual showdown, Midwest exhib Marcus Theaters has told Paramount Pictures it will not book Johnny Depp movie musical Sweeney Todd in any of its 49 theaters because the studio's asking price was too high.
Honestly, I think this just stems from a Midwest bias against all musicals that aren't Oklahoma! Either that, or they're just tired of Helena Bonham Carter always playing the creepy, yet oddly attractive role in all of her movies.
"I can be hot without being a mess. Promise."
Taxi's realism is taxing...
The MPAA has rejected the one-sheet for Alex Gibney's documentary Taxi to the Dark Side, which traces the pattern of torture practice from Afghanistan's Bagram prison to Abu Ghraib to Guantanamo Bay.
The image in question is a news photo of two U.S. soldiers walking away from the camera with a hooded detainee between them.
An MPAA spokesman said: "We treat all films the same. Ads will be seen by all audiences, including children. If the advertising is not suitable for all audiences it will not be approved by the advertising administration."
Gibney is predictably peeved:
"Not permitting us to use an image of a hooded man that comes from a documentary photograph is censorship, pure and simple. Intentional or not, the MPAA's disapproval of the poster is a political act, undermining legitimate criticism of the Bush administration. I agree that the image is offensive; it's also real."
While I agree that the MPAA has the right to reject anything they want(and acknowledge that they frequently do), I tend to agree with Gibney that this feels more political than it does an attempt to be "family friendly." Quite frankly, if the image causes kids to ask what's going on, maybe their parents will have to seriously consider what it is that George W's administration is allowing to happen. I don't see how that's a bad thing.
What I'm getting at, is that we're talking about a documentary. A reflection of the real world. This is a documentary about US torture policy, not using an image of a hooded captive would be on par with doing a documentary about self-righteous celebrities without Sean Penn on the poster.
The nerds won't be happy with me for this opinion
Peter Jackson; Harry Sloan, Chairman and CEO, Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios Inc. (MGM); Bob Shaye and Michael Lynne, Co-Chairmen and Co-CEOs of New Line Cinema have jointly announced today that they have entered into the following series of agreements:
* MGM and New Line will co-finance and co-distribute two films, The Hobbit and a sequel to The Hobbit. New Line will distribute in North America and MGM will distribute internationally.
* Peter Jackson and Fran Walsh will serve as Executive Producers of two films based on The Hobbit. New Line will manage the production of the films, which will be shot simultaneously.
* Peter Jackson and New Line have settled all litigation relating to the Lord of the Rings Trilogy.
Good news for everyone involved. I am curious and a little worried about there being two movies based on The Hobbit. Aside from the obvious money-grab that this comes across as, my concern is also for the quality of the films. The strength of Jackson's Lord of the Rings films is that he was able to pare down Tolkien's books to the essentials to the stories they told while leaving out a lot of the filler that would have caused audiences not intimately familiar with the details of the books to tune out.
The Hobbit has many of the same clogs that stop the narrative dead in its tracks, but using two movies to cover the book may very well mean that those sections are included.
What I'm really saying is that Tolkien needed an editor in the worst way.
No nekkid time for Julia
Actress Julia Roberts has vowed never to strip for a film role again - because it's not 'real' acting. The 40-year-old Oscar winner - who won legions of male fans after her role as a scantily-clad prostitute in Pretty Woman - believes actresses who shed their clothes for films are not staying true to their craft. She tells OK! magazine, "I wouldn't do nudity in a film. To act with my clothes on is a performance. To act with my clothes off is a documentary." The mother-of-three - who is mother to twins Hazel and Phinnaeus, three, and a six-month-old son, Henry - famously had to be coaxed into wearing a bikini for new film Charlie Wilson's War. And she admits she's not too confident about her sex appeal these days: "I'm too tall to be a girl. I wouldn't call myself a woman. I'd say I'm somewhere between a chick and a broad."
Well, for the three people who were still clamoring for that Julia Roberts nude scene, too bad. I understand her view that there should be more to being an actress than what the goods look like, but it seems very strange coming from an actress that described the length of her legs while wrapping them around someone in a bathtub to get famous and push-up bra'ed her way into an Oscar.
"This is as much flesh as you get from me. You don't have to undress to act disappointed."
This week's installment of CHEER UP, BEN AFFLECK!
You may not have been nominated for a Golden Globe, but CHEER UP, BEN AFFLECK! You're the latest replacement in a BBC movie! From BBC news:
Affleck will take on the role of a US congressman embroiled in a conspiracy after Norton asked to leave the film, according to the Hollywood Reporter.
Actor Brad Pitt pulled out in November, to be replaced by Russell Crowe.
Maybe you and Russell Crowe can work on a Fight Club remake while you're there. That'll show Pitt and Norton who's boss.
That'll do it for this week...
Charlie Wilson's War looks better and better every time I think about it, so there's your holiday homework assignment. But if you'd rather enjoy the holiday with your families, friends, or barnyard animals? I completely understand.
Merry Christmas to you, if that's what you celebrate. Happy [other holiday] to you if it's not. Either way, don't do anything I wouldn't do...
(this week's sources: Variety, Rotten Tomatoes, Dark Horizons, IMDB, BBC America)
