411 Fact or Fiction Movies 01.11.08: Week 108

Posted by Ben Piper on 01.11.2008

Will Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles be a quality substitute for 24? Will people be interested in checking out The Orphanage? Is Daniel Day Lewis the head and shoulders Oscar frontrunner for his work in There Will Be Blood? 411's NIck Wallander and Robert Sullivan debate these and other topics in week 108 of 411 Fact or Fiction: Movies.



Hello! Hope everyone is doing well. Me? I've had two dentist appointments in the past six days, so you do the math. But enough with my lingering mouth pain and irritability, it's time for some Fact or Fiction! This time around, Nick Wallander and Robert Sullivan will bring the talking points of the day. Let's get to the goodness, shall we?

1. Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles will be a satisfying temporary replacement for the strike-addled 24.

Nick Wallander: Fact- Honestly, any original unaired scripted show is welcome in my book. I am already sick of all the reality garbage that is littering prime time (American Gladiators is an atrocity). Besides, 24 is not all that great anymore and I probably won't even watch it when it does return. However watched the pilot of T:TSCC a few months ago and I can say that it did not suck. Was it great? Not really, however one episode of a drama doesn't dictate the entire series' quality. I will tune in time to time to see the wonderful Summer Glau get another shot at prime time. She was a bright spot in the pilot, so it will be good to see her on the ole boob tube again.

Robert Sullivan: Fact - It helps, as Wallander mentioned, that the last season of 24 wasn't very good. We differ on watching it when it returns, but I don't see why Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles would be a horrible stopgap while the strike continues. There's a lot worse out there, even if I probably won't watch Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. In the end, if it's not "Farmer Wants a Wife," it's fine.

Score: 1 for 1

2. Uwe Boll is without a doubt the worst director working in Hollywood today.

Nick Wallander: Fiction- If the man was so damn horrible, then he wouldn't be given movies to direct. There are many more directors with less talent than Uwe Boll. You probably have seen their work at the local adult movie store. Clearly Boll gets the job done for the studios that hire him on to do the directing. However, the jobs the man chooses are probably the problem with his work. Nobody is going to brilliantly direct a movie with a bargain bin script and a ridiculous concept like House of the Dead. Hell, the man directed BloodRayne, which was horrible and didn't make much for money, however they made two sequels and he directed both of them. So clearly someone thinks he did something right. Maybe it wasn't movie goers, but until the man is directing a snuff flick, he hasn't become the worst.

Robert Sullivan: Fiction- Oh, without a doubt Uwe Boll sucks. Sucks with a capital F. Even if porn and snuff film directors aren't exactly considered "Hollywood" directors, Boll's got competition for Worst Director honors. Why? Because, to me, you get bonus points if you make garbage movies and think you're doing really well/have the fanboys drooling all over you/etc. Boll may make total garbage, but at least he's not trying for Oscars and doesn't have a cult of personality constantly singing his praises. After all, I haven't heard of him shoving QUIRKY! songs into movies while the actors ponderously move in slow motion for the 87th time.

Score: 2 for 2

3. If it's not cancelled by NBC, you'll tune in to the Golden Globe Awards just to see how bad of a train wreck it turns out to be.

Nick Wallander: Fiction- I wasn't going to watch it in the first place. The only entertaining part of awards shows is the opening monologue, so if that isn't being written, then why watch two celebrities play chummy before handing out an award. Also, it won't be a train wreck. The most that happens is that it gets really boring because it becomes a routine listing of nominees followed by an acceptance speech. Yawn.

Robert Sullivan: Fiction - If it remains on a Sunday...no, I won't be watching the Globes anyway. Love it or hate it, the Globes are the big precursor to the Oscars, even if they clearly nominate films without a shot in Hell of getting Oscar nods just because of star-heavy casts (Bobby last year, The Great Debaters this year). That said, I usually only watch the Oscars and SAGs, but I might flip onto the Globes once or twice just to see how they're handling not having writers AND no actors to whom to give the awards. Watch the whole thing though? No.

Edit: The Golden Globes were indeed cancelled after both writers responded to this argument.

Score: 3 for 3

Switch!!!

4. You're more than a little interested in checking out The Orphanage.

Robert Sullivan: Fact- As I always say, a good trailer does wonders. That and a lot of positive hype here on the intertubes. The Orphanage sounds more psychologically frightening than anything else, and I'm typically a big fan of horror films that take that tact. It just better not turn out everyone's actually dead, or the lead actress is actually dead...only twist if the narrative needs it, people.

Nick Wallander: Fact- Guillermo del Toro helped produce this movie. I trust this man since he is responsible for bringing us Pan's Labrynth and Hellboy. Sure, he may not have been behind the camera for this movie, but the simple fact that it is one of his projects is honestly enough for me. Del Toro seems to like creating things that appeal to the imagination, which is exactly what I expect after seeing the trailer to El Orfanato, which is what it is called in its native tongue. The most impressive feat is that I am not a fan of reading subtitles or trying to decipher another language, but I will let it slide here. For some reason the language barrier will probably make this one of the creepiest movies in years. I will most likely see it as soon as it shows up at the local theaters here in Green Bay.

Score: 4 for 4

5. Daniel Day Lewis will easily be the head and shoulders favorite for the best actor Oscar for his work in There Will Be Blood.

Robert Sullivan: Fact- Eleventy billion times fact. Luckily, I saw There Will Be Blood yesterday, so I'm able to comment on this. Basically, There Will Be Blood is 158 minutes concerning how one man is driven insane by his own greed and misanthropy towards all of humankind (which would of course include himself, as Ebert noted). Reading that line, who else do you think would be up to the challenge of showing us that? Daniel Day-fucking-Lewis, that's who. I can see the final scene dividing audiences, much like No Country for Old Men, but unlike THAT overhyped fanboy wet dream, There Will Be Blood ends the only possible way it can. Daniel Day-Lewis' mesmerizing performance sees to that. Day-Lewis for the nomination and win.

Nick Wallander: Fiction– I don't think there will be a heads and shoulders type favorite this year. There are a lot of hyped up movies this awards season, so picking a clear cut favorite right now is not really fair, is it? We probably should also wait for the nominations to actually come out as well. Sure, the Golden Globe nominations may give a good idea as to who may be on the Oscar card, but it doesn't tell the whole story. Besides, if I were to guess, I would say that Clooney has a decent shot for his brilliant performance in Michael Clayton. Hell, the only guy on the Golden Globes nomination that I think doesn't have potential for an Oscar this year is Denzel Washington.

Score: 4 for 5

6. The announcement of Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel appearing on one another's shows looks like mutual desperation, as SAG members are reluctant to cross the picket lines to appear on either broadcast.

Robert Sullivan: Fact- Is there anything Jay Leno or Jimmy Kimmel do that doesn't reek of desperation? Kimmel's only funny bit involves Matt Damon pretending to be pissed, and Leno's only funny reading fucking newspapers or pointing a camera at Valley girls who don't know who Hitler is. So naturally with unfunny hacks, out come the stunts when their usual format doesn't work.

Nick Wallander: Fact– I wouldn't say it is heavily desperate, but it is definitely getting close. These guys have to come up with something seeing as they don't have writers and their competition on CBS is about to murder them in the ratings. Leno and Kimmel don't seem to be the kind of guys who can be funny on the fly, so this kind of stunt should help them a bit. My guess is that they will rip into one another a bit and then talk about the strike for 20 minutes. It probably won't be worth watching after the first two minutes. I'd rather tune into Conan, who will manage to be funny on his own. He doesn't need writers when he is naturally hilarious.

Final Score: 5 for 6

There you have it, as Robert and Nick come one answer short of a reverse no-hitter. Many thanks to them both for their participation and enthusiasm.

Useless Question of the Week

Thanks to everyone that emailed me your answers last week, as well as those that posted their guesses in the comments section. Congratulations are in order to Michael from Twain Harte, Ca for being last week's winner of a hand-written letter from yours truly. He was the first to correctly answer my query "Who is the most filmed television personality of all time and who previously held that distinction"? The correct answer was Regis Philbin, who surpassed Hugh Downs for the honor in 2004.

As always the first to submit to me a correct answer in email form as well as their home address within the continental US shall win the much-cherished hand-written letter from moi. However, a new rule is now going to have to go into effect. Last week, for the first time since I started doing this weekly contest, I got submissions from previous winners wanting to win yet again. While I don't have a problem with anyone that has won the contest in the past emailing me their answers, to keep this a fair playing field in which everyone has a shot at the prize, from here on out previous winners will no longer be eligible to receive said prize. Sorry guys, but I wish to spread the wealth, if you could actually call it that. So while I do truly hope that you continue to send me emails, it's going to be one letter to a winner from here on out. Perhaps as this feature lingers on I'll change my mind and open things back up, but for the time being I'm going with the conceit of if you've already won, you've already won. Let someone else have a shot. Thanks for your understanding.

And this week's Useless Trivia Question is: (drumroll, please…)

Question: Who provided the voice for E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial?

See you next week. I should be in a better mood, seeing as I'm not scheduled for another dentist appointment for six months. Just being able to type that puts me in a better mood already. Hell, I'm downright chipper!

-BP