The Doctor in the Hallway News Report 1.23.08

Posted by Ben Moser on 01.23.2008

I've got your Oscar rundown, some news that's bringing me down, and some news to keep Ben Affleck from being down...kind of. It's all in this week's edition of The Doctor in the Hallway News Report. Read it, or I'll include you in an embarrassing montage on American Idol.

Hi kids, and welcome to another thrilling Doctor in the Hallway News Report. With the Super Bowl set, it's time to bask in the hype, speculation, forced storylines, and more hype to try to convince us that there's even the slightest chance that the stupid New England Patriots will manage to lose to the stupid New York Football Giants. Did the Giants play them close in week 17? You bet they did. That only means that the Pats will know what's coming. The Super Bowl is always kind of anti-climatic when you have a personal distaste for both of the teams playing. Fortunately, the food is always outstanding at the Super Bowl party I attend annually. So I think that Wade's Chili will win 42-10. That was sports, and now here's your movie news:


No need for news when we have NOMINATIONS.

That's right. The Oscars are almost here and I have the nominations for the WGA-doomed awards ceremony.

Best Picture
Juno
Atonement
No Country for Old Men
There Will Be Blood
Michael Clayton

Who do I want to win? - As much as I love No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood, I have a soft spot for an underdog comedy and always pull for that to win when it gets a peek at the big time. Juni has less of an outside chance than Atonement, but is still not a very likely winner.

Who will win? - Michel Clayton might surprise people, because the Academy loves Clooney. However, I think even those voters might be willing to admit that it was a slow-moving flick. It'll probably come down to No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood, with the latter eeking out a well-deserved Oscar win. Don't worry about the Coen Brothers, though, they'll sleep plenty well at night knowing that they're not the Farrelly Brothers.


Performance By A Male Actor in a Leading Role
George Clooney - Michael Clayton
Daniel Day-Lewis - There Will Be Blood
Johnny Depp - Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street
Tommy Lee Jones - In the Valley of Elah
Viggo Mortensen - Eastern Promises

Who do I want to win? - Daniel Day-Lewis was so good that I would have given it to him just for the trailer. Seriously, he gave me chills in the trailer.

Who will win? - Clooney is a contender, Depp is always capable of the upset, but I think the Academy agrees with me on this one and Daniel Day-Lewis gets a statue.


Performance By An Actor in a Supporting Role
Casey Affleck - The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford
Javier Bardem - No Country for Old Men
Hal Holbrook - Into the Wild
Philip Seymour Hoffman - Charlie Wilson's War
Tom Wilkinson - Michael Clayton

Who do I want to win? - Philip Seymour Hoffman would be able to line his house with Oscars if there was any justice in the world.

Who will win? - There is no justice in the world. I would not be one bit surprised to see Casey Affleck take this one, as no one has said so much as an unkind sentiment about him or his brother for his role in The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.


"One time I sneezed and won an award for it."


Performance By An Actress in a Leading Role
Cate Blanchett - Elizabeth: The Golden Age
Julie Christie - Away from Her
Marion Cotillard - La Vie en Rose
Laura Linney - The Savages
Ellen Page - Juno

Who do I want to win? - I love Cate Blanchett. Love her. I think she's always brilliant. I don't think that the script she was working from was strong enough to get her the win though.

Who will win? - It's hard for the plucky underdog comedy to get a big win at Oscar time, but I think Ellen Page has a legit shot at taking this thing home. I'm just skeptical enough about her chances, though, to run with Laura Linney as your winner.


Performance By An Actress in a Supporting Role
Cate Blanchett - I'm Not There
Ruby Dee - American Gangster
Saoirse Ronan - Atonement
Amy Ryan - Gone Baby Gone
Tilda Swinton - Michael Clayton

Who do I want to win? - Remember what I said about Cate Blanchett 3 seconds ago? Rinse and repeat that here.

Who will win? - Tilda Swinton will get this if the Academy disagrees about how slow Michael Clayton was, but Ruby Dee has the best chance if we agree about it.


"Ben loves me, but will the Academy?"


Best Director
Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will Be Blood
Ethan Coen & Joel Coen - No Country For Old Men
Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton
Jason Reitman - Juno
Julian Schnabel - The Diving Bell And The Butterfly

Who do I want to win? - I'd like to see Jason Reitman win eventually, but for now I think there's no way I can go against the Coen Brothers on this. Those two have done a phenomenal job with No Country for Old Men and that deserves to be recognized. And a win there will pave the way for the Moser Brothers to eventually get around to making that film they've been sitting on since we were filming it with GI Joe action figures playing all of the roles. It'll be brilliant.

Who will win? - The Academy loves to give unofficial lifetime achievement awards, and on that note the Coens will not be denied.


Best Original Screenplay
Brad Bird - Ratatouille
Diablo Cody - Juno
Tony Gilroy - Michael Clayton
Tamara Jenkins - The Savages
Nancy Oliver - Lars and the Real Girl

Who do I want to win? - Juno was sweet, cute, and really funny. I think that had more to do with the cast and the direction than the script, but I'm not huge on any of the rest of the nominees.

Who will win? - Call it a hunch, but I see the Academy going gaga over Lars and the Real Girl in spite of all sense.


Oh Baby!


Best Adapted Screenplay
Paul Thomas Anderson - There Will Be Blood
Ethan & Joel Coen - No Country for Old Men
Christopher Hampton - Atonement
Ronald Harwood - The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
Sarah Polley - Away from Her

Who do I want to win? - I would enjoy seeing either No Country for Old Men or There Will Be Blood take this one, whichever has the least statues between them when this award is announced.

Who will win? - They nominated Atonement too many times not to give it something. This will be the one voters go to.


Best Animated Feature
Persepolis
Ratatouille
Surf's Up

Who do I want to win? - I always hate to go with the artsy movie, because it normally just smacks of pretension. But Persepolis is really good whereas its competitors are garbage.

Who will win? - I say it this time every year. Don't #^*% with Pixar. Ratatouille wins.


Best Documentary
No End in Sight
Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience
Sicko
Taxi to the Dark Side
War/Dance

Who do I want to win? - I think that Taxi to the Dark Sidemay be one of the most important documentaries made in a long time, but Sicko is tackling an issue that we can't seem to get anyone to actually care enough about to do some research. That takes balls, so I'm backing Sicko in spite of my displeasure with Michael Moore's tone.

Who will win? - Moore is going to be punished for his acceptance speech and for making a movie on a subject that people would rather ignore while they make the gay folk a somehow more important issue. Taxi to the Dark Side would run away with this one in a landslide, if they showed us the voting.


"One way or another, I shoot!"


Technical Awards and such

You can find those here, if you want to check them out. Between the general lack of interest and my not having seen Enchanted, I don't feel it necessary to give you the commentary on that. Also, I'm not nominated for any of those either. Next year is my year!


This week's installment of CHEER UP, BEN AFFLECK!

Your brother may have one more Oscar nom than you, but CHEER UP, BEN AFFLECK! Rumors are that you won't have to hide hookers in your trunk anymore! From The Bosh:

There's a tiny buzz building in the gossip world. It's very tiny, though, so you have to listen really closely to hear it, but it's there. The buzz is that a certain successful actor who had passed up on a high profile union to settle down with an ordinary girl is, well, bored. And he's definitely looking for action. The problem is that there is a child involved, and a divorce would be disastrous to his public image, so they just live on different sides of the country now.

Were they talking about Bennifer 2? I can't remember the last time they were seen together, and certainly not in the lovey-dovey way they used to be. They both shower Violet with tons of affection, but there's been no PDA in that marriage for a long time.

So, um, jeez Ben...I don't know if I can put a second positive spin on this...other than this will distract you from your nomination non-getting from the Academy. Right?

That'll do it for this week...

I would like to take this moment to express how sad I am to hear of the passing of Heath Ledger. This is a guy who seemed to just be beginning to find his stride creatively. As a movie fan, I'm going to feel that loss. His friends and family have it a lot rougher on this one, and I wish them the best.

Untraceable looks more and more like it might not be awful with each time I see the trailer for it. I might even be convinced to check it out this weekend if it remains cold and ACC basketball isn't offering me anything truly compelling. How's that for a stunning endorsement? Whatever you decide to do this weekend, make sure it's nothing that I wouldn't do...