Furious on Film 01.31.08: Issue 124

Posted by Arnold Furious on 01.31.2008

The threequel rule part 2/3, Death Proof makes this a FIVE movie week, Mike Myers, general people hatred, Takashi Miike rips off Robocop (badly), Ryan Gosling arrives and Judd Apatow brings the hilarity!

Furious on Film 01.31.08: Issue 124

The threequel rule part 2/3, Death Proof makes this a FIVE movie week, Mike Myers, general people hatred, Takashi Miike rips off Robocop (badly), Ryan Gosling arrives and Judd Apatow brings the hilarity!

Bit of a deviation from the norm this week. First off; I missed the chance to talk about him last week because my column was posted way before it actually appeared on 411. I think I may have posted it 4 days early. I was shocked to hear of the death of Heath Ledger. I'm more shocked that people seem to care about how and why he died. Surely the most important thing here is that he's dead. I don't care much for people passing judgement on those who aren't around to defend themselves. So what if he took drugs? He's famous. That's what famous people do. If you had a tonne of money, an addictive personality and lots of spare time then you probably would too. I know I'd be drugged up to the eyeballs if I was famous. You say you won't but I know damn well that I have problems with alcohol. Give me spare time and plenty of cash and I'm sure I'd have a drug problem too. I'd rather focus on the tragic loss in Heath Ledger's case. He really was on the cusp of something great. Just coming off Brokeback Mountain, a startling performance, and about to be unleashed on the world as the new Joker in the Dark Knight he really had Tinseltown at his feet. Who knows how big a star he'd have become in the next ten years. Traditionally stars don't really hit their stride until their 30's and Ledger had all that in front of him. Oh, and one last thing; the so-called religious groups that intend to picket the funeral because "God hates fags"…a hearty fuck you ladies and gents. One can only hope every single one of you is sodomised against your will in the next life. Hey, two wrongs can make a right!

Another rather large deviation from the norm now; Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof. Seeing as some genius decided that International audiences aren't capable of watching the entire of Grindhouse both Tarantino's Death Proof and Robert Rodriquez's Planet Terror was separate releases in the UK. Therefore Death Proof has been released on DVD and I've seen it while Planet Terror hasn't yet been released on DVD. Seeing as I'll probably never get around to reviewing Grindhouse as a whole I'd like to do a quick mini-review of Death Proof. It started out really slowly. Painfully slowly. The scenes in the car with the girls talking about, well, girly stuff are background noise. I didn't really gain any kind of pleasure from listening to the conversations. It just seemed about nothing. QT has spent a lot of time hanging out with women so he can write them better and it seems mission accomplished. Unfortunately the two don't seem to mesh. QT's girl dialogue doesn't really match up to the content of his films. Death Proof is essentially a slasher movie. Only Stuntman Mike (Kirk Russell) doesn't use a knife but a car. "Do I scare you?" he asks the babyfaced and adorable Vanessa Ferlito. She responds in the affirmative. "Is it the scar?" he asks. No, it's not the scar on his face. It's the car. A skull and crossbones on the front. Mostly black. Rough and ready. Snarling engine. And yet Stuntman Mike, although somewhat creepy, isn't a psychopath until he's behind the wheel of the car. Aside from some of the better parts of dialogue in the bar (Butterfly/Warren's "tasty beverages"/the lapdance) the film doesn't really kick off until Mike is driving with intent. And when he is the film just leaps into this insane higher gear. The first car crash is incredible. I had to wind the DVD back and watch the crash again. And its shown from four angles! So I had to watch the crash eight times to truly appreciate it. But that wasn't even the half of it. That crash takes us to halfway through the film and involves the vast majority of Mike's dialogue. Second half of the film starts much the same way; with a long conversation between a group of girls. This time slightly less irritating. The additional presence of Rosario Dawson is pleasing. Then we launch into one of the all time great car chases. I won't spoil it for anyone who's not seen the flick but damn is it tense. It's 50% Duel and 50% Terminator. It's in his perverted silence that Stuntman Mike really becomes the evil bastard villain. You can kind of identify with him up to a point but when he's just fucking with these poor girls he takes on a whole other level of sadism. I'm not too keen on QT's insistence on GURL POWER though. Every male character in Death Proof is a right swine bar Quentin himself as bartender Warren. That's a worrying trend. It's taking political correctness a little far for my liking. I'm not sure about any of the male characters outside of Stuntman Mike. That said a great car chase can make amends for most any flaw and Death Proof has one of the greatest car chases, ever. Credit to QT for pulling that one off. As for a rating…call it ****. I loved the car chases and wrecks. They were stunning punctuation to the mindless everyday drivel the characters came out with. There's no escaping the glaring flaws that are far more obvious than in any previous Tarantino movie but he's keeping it real and doing what he wants to do. Can't really argue with that. Now make Inglorious Bastards already! I want to see a QT war movie.

And this week for your viewing pleasure…

Shrek the Third, Full Metal Yakuza, Half Nelson, Knocked Up

But first…

ONCE UPON A TIMELINE…Mike Myers, a Canadian in Hollywood

• 1963. Born in Scarborough, near Toronto.
• 1975. Makes his acting debut in a TV show. 4 years later he appeared in the Littlest Hobo.
• 1985. John & Yoko: A Love Story. A young Myers makes his feature film debut with the challenging role of "delivery boy".
• 1986. Appeared on Timmy Mallet's Wide Awake Club. A weekend show for kids that was huge in the UK. His "Sound Asleep Club" section was actually my favourite because I outright hated Timmy Mallet. How can anyone be that happy to be awake on the weekend? Hell, I was 10 and I hated getting up any day of the week.
• 1987. Low budget "Its Only Rock N Roll" sees debut of the Wayne Campbell character. The Wayne character is one Myers had been perfecting in improv.
• 1989. Joins the cast of Saturday Night Live. The impact is instant as he clicks with existing cast member Dana Carvey. Creating characters like Dieter, the pretentious German art-show presenter and Coffee Talk with Linda Richman. The most successful character was undoubtedly Wayne Campbell however and in Dana Carvey he gained the missing piece; his sidekick Garth.
• 1992. Wayne's World. With the character's popularity through the roof Paramount took a chance on a feature film. The film grossed $121M making Myers an overnight hit. He remained on the SNL cast but increasingly film roles were coming his way.
• 1993. So I Married An Axe Murderer. One of Myers' best and most underrated comedies is a light hearted rom-com…with axe murdering. He also played his own father onscreen; Stuart MacKenzie, a lover of all things Scottish. The character formed the basis for much of Myers' future success where he'd use his Scottish roots to create multiple characters. The Rod Stewart/"we have a piper doon" bit at the wedding is brilliant. Highly quotable flick.
• 1997. Thanks to an increased career in film Myers left SNL to make Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Creating several characters in the process. The most popular and enduring of which is Dr Evil. Although the later addition of Fat Bastard was also good for giggles. Two sequels followed.
• 2001. Shrek. Although he picked a variety of parts from 54 to View from the Top it was his lowbrow comedies that connected with the movie going public. While Wayne Campbell and Austin Powers had drawn in large audiences nothing could prepare him for the success of Shrek. $267M domestic. Hell, it did over $50M in the UK alone. That's ridiculous money. A common misconception is that Myers originated this character like many of his other successful ones because of the Scottish accent. Not true. The book Shrek was based on was written in 1990 by Polish-Jewish cartoonist William Steig. The veteran was 83 when he penned Shrek and has since passed away (in 2003).
• 2003. Cat in the Hat. Myers first real misfire when aiming at the mass market. Cat in the Hat wasn't well received, or funny. It was just creepy. Myers had more joy with Shrek 2 in 2004 but aside from the Shrek franchise hits are few and far between these days.

Shrek the Third (2007)



EXPECTATIONS – Well, reviews aren't good if I'm honest but I have this rule where I'll watch sequels of a film I enjoyed. Loved the first film. Thought it was clever and very funny and original. Didn't like the second one quite so much. Hit and miss follow up I felt. Everyone else seemed to like it more than I did. It had its moments but nowhere near as consistent as the first film. I saw an interview with one of the writers and he said they did too much in the first film and should have left the wedding for the second one. Instead it becomes a mixture of Meet the Parents and something equally as tacky. During the second film I felt the inside jokes were starting to get a bit too inside for a kids movie although kids seemed to love it. The introduction of the dronkeys at the end was cute and probably saved it from getting a thumbs down from me. Like I said before, everyone else seemed to enjoy it a little more than I did. With that in mind I went into the third film with somewhat lowered expectations. I probably went into the second one expecting gold and was disappointed when it didn't happen.

TRAILER –



PLOT – With King Harold (John Cleese) at death's door Shrek (Mike Myers) is faced with an uncomfortable decision. Either take over the kingdom of Far Far Away himself or find the missing possible heir Artie (Justin Timberlake). So he sets off with Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss in Boots (Antonio Banderas) in tow totally unaware that Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) is planning an assault on the kingdom. And if that wasn't enough Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) is pregnant…

OPINION – There appears a new rule in Hollywood; the rule of the disappointing third film in a trilogy. See Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End, Spider-Man 3, X-Men 3 and just last week I reviewed Oceans Thirteen. Shrek the Third bucks that rule. It's not disappointing. It's just terrible. The day after I saw it I was asked what was wrong with the film. My response was "they forgot to put the jokes in". The clever inside jokes are the only ones that appear. The straightforward gags routinely fall flat on their face. The majority of the characters are just caricatures of their previous greatness. Puss in Boots and Donkey are just interchangeable sidekicks. Neither one of them is anywhere near as funny or manic as during the first two films. Shrek himself seems tired. Like the character really has nowhere else to go. He's just irritated because he can't live in his swamp anymore. Yeah, that was the first film. To make matters worse the Shrek-verse has gained a really pathetic new character in the form of Justin Timberlake's Artie. An idealistic and spoiled young scamp who irritated me so badly I actually hoped the sleazy Charming would slit his throat. Sad to say this is a kid's film so that'll never happen but then the film rarely has those dark edges that made the first film so good. The troupe just trudge from one scene to the next. The flow never has an organic feel to it. The charm is all gone. Myers, Murphy and Diaz all seem to labour with the joke-less script. There are bits of slapstick for the kids but there's precious little else. Dreamworks may have been built on Shrek's hefty shoulders (after all Shrek was the companies first runaway hit) but after this showing they'll need a new saviour. The DVD was even a let down. The usual fun stuff was replaced by an advice for would-be parents bit. I'm not even sure those were the actual actors voicing the parts. That and a terribly conceived high school yearbook for Artie's Worcestershire Academy. Another sad joke void. And the animated menus were worse too. It was like they'd taken all the fun parts of the first two films and just sucked them out. Vacuumed them up into a big joke tote-bag, which remains missing presumed dead and replaced with ‘speeches from the heart' and terrible plot devices. Too much Timberlake. There were a few laughs as opposed to none but there are just too many missed gags. Too many jokes that just aren't funny. And when your success ratio is about 20:80 then it's time to stop. And there are two more planned films. Shrek the Fourth in 2010 and an as yet to be named fifth film. Lord help us. The cash cow has been milked dry. Time to walk away.

BEST BIT – When threatened the Gingerbread Man's life flashes before his eyes. They go on too long and milk it for all its worth, much like an earlier death scene with King Harold, but for about 15 seconds it was inspired and the funniest thing in the film.

RATING - *. Too few laughs combined with long speeches about responsibility drag Shrek the Third down into the doldrums. It's sad to see great characters reduced to such poor dialogue. The princesses, the high school and Artie all fall flat. It made me long for the disappointment of the second film. At least with disappointment you can always go back and find things to like. With Shrek the Third it'll be a case of not going back in case it gets worse with age. Incidentally this film made $320M in the US alone. I hate people. There are film critics FOR A REASON.

Full Metal Yakuza (1997) aka Full Metal gokudo



EXPECTATIONS – As you should probably know by now I'm 411's resident Takashi Miike fan. I've reviewed 12 Miike movies already for Furious on Film. I believe he's featured more than any other director bar Kurosawa. This 13th film evens up Miike and Kurosawa with 13 films each. Generally Miike's films have gone over well with me although I'm more inclined towards his less well known Japanese work rather than the films that made him an International star. In particular I'm thinking about Audition and how poor that film is. On the flipside I'm thinking Dead or Alive and how fucking awesome that film is.

TRAILER – Be warned; this trailer is woeful. Complete with "inside" English voiceover. Just don't click it.



PLOT – Kensuke Hagane (Tsuyoshi Ujiki) is a bumbling underling in the Yakuza. He only joined because he looked up to local hardman and Yakuza leader Tosa (Takeshi Caesar). When Tosa is killed Kensuke is left for dead too only to be rebuilt by a mad scientist called Genpaku (Tomorowo Taguchi). Now a cyborg with Tosa's heart, and penis, Hagane goes for revenge against the Yakuza brethren who killed his mentor.

OPINION – This film really doesn't know what it wants to be. The problem with Miike being so prolific (in 1997 he made 3 other films including the classic Rainy Dog) is quite often he makes films quickly and doesn't really think about the content. It starts out very silly and is often a spoof of Hollywood fare like Robocop. Only Robocop had elements of spoof anyway. It really didn't take itself that seriously. Just seriously enough. I guess that was lost in translation. Full Metal Yakuza alternates between outright farce and bloodthirsty gore and uber-violence. Sometimes Miike can't help himself and just piles on the gore. Whether it's a young lady biting her own tongue off to prevent herself from being raped or slo-mo bullet hits with Kensuke helpfully gurning towards camera as multiple projectiles rip through his body. Like with Dead or Alive the ending is patently ridiculous but unlike Dead or Alive the build up is painstakingly daft as well. Full Metal Yakuza frequently tells the audience to take the film seriously and then we're introduced to a large rubber dong for a bit of throwaway comedy. No, really, we want to take this seriously but here's a massive cock. The film ends up being constantly interrupted by sophomoric comedy, which brings down the overall tone. I could have lived with just a daft ending but the entire of Full Metal Yakuza is daft. His "cyborg" getup is so cheap looking. I was embarrassed. See on the cover/poster how the one arm looks metallic? That's a way better effect than anything in the entire film. The film sees him wearing some sort of foam suit over his own clothes with occasional lame special "electricity" special effects. Plus Ujiki has some bizarre ideas about playing the part. His twitching and spasms pay tribute to Ian Holm in Alien as the Yakuza overheats or shorts out in the rain. The first person "Robocop" camera shots are terrible. The comedy beating from the street thugs where the metal bar bends over his head is stupid. It all adds up to a crap version of Robocop. And although I thought that would be an amusing idea having watched it I can tell you its not. Plus I have issues with how the revenge motif was handled. Why just stop when you have the chance to finish everything? You know they won't just leave you alone. And why does that stupid stance allow him to get shot and not killed and yet not one single Yakuza thinks to shoot him in the face? Don't even get me started on the nonsensical ending but this being Miike I can live with that. I just can't live with the mess that accounts for the 100 minutes before the end.

BEST BIT – The first meal as a cyborg. Hagane is introduced to eat metal, which he does gleefully dipping chains and iron locks into milk before chowing down on them. Hey, Robocop ate baby food. I think this is a step up. It's also patently ludicrous but then so is the rest of the film.

RATING - **1/2. Sometimes you have to just take Miike as Miike. This film isn't as complete as his later films that have far more weirdness and gore for the connoisseur. It's cheap and preposterous and badly acted. But it's still fun at times to see what the hell Miike will do next. If only FMY could have decided what kind of film it was going to be before it went off in several different warped directions and we'd be looking at a classic. If you like big budget flicks and coherent storytelling this won't be your cup of tea. It has lower production values than Roger Corman.

Half Nelson (2006)



EXPECTATIONS – I'm watching this movie because it's named after a wrestling hold. The only thing other than that little factoid that I knew about the film was that Ryan Gosling was Oscar nominated for his role. Before the Oscar nominations were named that year I'd not even heard of Ryan Gosling. The only thing I've seen him in was Remember the Titans and that wasn't a big role. His biggest film to date being chick-flick the Notebook. Gosling is the only "major" player in the film. Director Ryan Fleck is making only his second appearance behind a feature length film here after 70 minute debut Young Rebels. To all intents and purposes that was merely groundwork to establish himself for actual film making.

TRAILER –



PLOT – Junior high school history teacher Dan Dunne (Ryan Gosling) spends the majority of his time trying to pitch his ideas about history to a set of disenfranchised ghetto kids. The rest of his time he spends blowing money on drinks and highballs. He forms a special relationship with 13 year old student Drey (Shareeka Epps) after she catches him smoking crack in the school. What follows is Drey's attempt to find a father figure to replace her own AWOL Dad with Dan assuming a friendly role compared to the fun loving drug dealer Frank (Anthony Mackie).

OPINION – Half Nelson is far from being the perfect film. I don't really agree with Dan's new age history ideals and the way he tries to pitch them to a class of 13 year olds and the fact they pay attention to his half-baked, half-assed teachings. But away from the classroom the Dan Dunne character really comes to life. He's torn up inside by his failure to create effective change in the world, like his liberal parents who rallied against the war in Vietnam, and that no one else seems to notice or care about the problems within society. This all mixes in with his addictive personality. While ranting about politics he's got a drink in one hand and a rolled up $20 in the other. The guy is a mess who doesn't like himself and sees a chance in Drey for salvation. He wants to protect her because she has no one to help her out. It's a very noble cause but like everything else in his life he can't do it effectively because the drugs get in the way. It ends up being as much of a failed mission as his teaching. For example when called out of the classroom the task he leaves the kids with is "write down three turning points". We're off textbook here. Way off textbook. And yet no one thinks to fire his crackhead ass. The issues with the script mainly stem from a lack of believability in the school scenes. The classroom is way closer to Dead Poet's Society than it has any right being. Just the one trouble maker in the entire class who bad behaviour amounts to copying someone else's work? Even in a good neighbourhood he'd have more difficulty with the kids than that and there's a suggestion that this isn't a good neighbourhood. What's more is this fat kid, who's obviously not very bright, just doesn't understand what the hell Dan is talking about and Dan takes it out on him. No room for dumb people in this revolution, folks. That said I liked everything outside of the school scenes. Gosling gives an incredible performance. It's rich and varied and entirely believable. This is a fine example of a young actor picking a hard role and throwing himself into it. Heart and soul. What's more is a lot of actors couldn't have played this part. It would have been laughable in the wrong hands. I like that Dan never becomes a cliché. His basehead addictive personality is based on a real person then with little layers of drug use on top of it. Not like some of the more caricatured drug performances that usually make it onscreen. I'd compare it to Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. Gosling has gone on a journey and to do so he's gone inside of himself. The result is quite profound and gives me real genuine hope that we've got ourselves a new superstar in the making here. I hope he keeps trying a variety of roles to test himself but sooner or later that big movie is going to come calling and whatever it is I get the feeling he'll do a good job. Certainly based on this one film. It helps a great deal that he has a wonderful co-star to play off in Shareeka Epps. Amazing to think this is her feature debut. Hell, the only thing she'd been in beforehand was the short film by Fleck that this is based on. I see good things in her future too. Of course playing a teenager when you're a teenager isn't exactly a push. We'll probably see what she's made of in the future. She reminds me of a young Sanaa Lathan who I also rate.

BEST BIT – When challenged by fellow teacher and on/off girlfriend Isabel (Monique Curnen) over his Communist beliefs because he owns a copy of the Communist Party Manifesto the half-cut Gosling replies with a clever remark citing Mein Kampf and asking if he'd be a Nazi if he had a copy. She asks him if he does and he points out he keeps it hidden because "being a Nazi isn't cool anymore".

RATING - ***1/2. My issues over the way the school scenes were handled (he has way too much freedom) aside this is a very solid film. There's high hope for all involved. I suspect Ryan Fleck will be able to make a career of gritty social drama should he feel the need to continue this line of work. Ryan Gosling has shown signs he'll be a top level actor for some time and Shareeka Epps has shown some real potential. Everyone actually is a winner.

Knocked Up (2007)



EXPECTATIONS – Judd Apatow got himself a surprise hit when the 40 Year Old Virgin was a big success for him in 2005. I'm not even a big fan of Steve Carell. The people involved in 40 Year Old Virgin that made it funny for me was the likes of Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd. It was almost like they wanted those guys to be the stars but felt they needed someone else at the front. With Knocked Up they're at the front. Rogen stars along with the very lovely Katherine Heigl. She's been around for ages going back to My Father the Hero, Bride of Chucky and Under Siege 2 where she played teenagers. Since then its been slim pickings on the big screen including the prequel to Romy & Michelle's High School Reunion. She's better known for her work on TV with Grey's Anatomy. I don't watch TV so I've not seen it.

TRAILER –



PLOT – When Alison Scott (Katherine Heigl) gets a promotion to onscreen talent on E! she goes out to celebrate and ends up having a one night stand with a funny guy she met at the club; Ben Stone (Seth Rogen). Due to their extreme differences in personality and lifestyle there's no shot at a relationship but 8 weeks down the road Alison discovers she's pregnant and the couple are forced to get along for the sake of their unborn child.

OPINION – When I saw it I said that Hot Fuzz was the funniest film of the year. I didn't imagine anything else could come close. Knocked Up not only comes close it almost beats it. I can't decide between the two because they're funny in different ways. But one thing they both do is heavily reference films. And they both get big points and big laughs out of it. The best thing about Knocked Up for me was that the comedy was coming from so many different angles. Not only is Seth Rogen funny but Katherine Heigl is funny and the supporting cast are all funny. There are a lot of laughs in this movie. Not only that but it's a rom-com and it is a very romantic movie. It's rare for me to like a rom-com (it happens, just not often) because they all seem to follow the same template. While that is true with Knocked Up to a certain degree and the film itself is probably 20 minutes too long there's so much quality and variety in the comedy that its still a winner. I personally loved the stuff in Vegas where Paul Rudd got to go nuts with his character. He plays the husband of Alison's elder sister Debbie (Leslie Mann). Everyone has really well rounded characters and personalities and we see them getting along with each other and not. Ben's humour draws great laughs in some scenes and then great awkwardness in others. He doesn't quite do awkward as well as Steve Carell because he totally no sells it but I think awkward comedy is over rated anyway (the Office is horrible, all Ben Stiller's movies suck). I was worried about Knocked Up when they started into the awkward bits with the kids but thankfully that was just one scene. Rogen and Heigl are both charming and make each other convincing. For me this film makes them both stars. Heigl showed some real range and Rogen showed he could be the front man and be a draw. The proof is in the box office - $148M. That's far more than 40 Year Old Virgin. Unlike that film I can see myself watching this many times as well. Hell, it was a rental and I watched it twice. That has to be the sign of a great movie. I've always loved comedies and action movies. Those are the two types of films I can watch over and over. You'd better believe this is going into my DVD collection ASAP. Mainly because of lines like this; Debbie tells Pete not to get the kids all riled up. He replies with "I shouldn't have given them all that meth then". Apatow has a love for inappropriate and dirty jokes but he inserts them into traditional film structures. So it'll work right away but the lines are all fresh because no one's done a rom-com with 113 derivatives of the word "fuck" in it before. Certainly not a mainstream film. I anxiously await his next project seeing as he's made two films so far and I loved them both. I like this even more than 40 Year Old Virgin and I loved that movie.

BEST BIT – The mushroom trip in Vegas. Hard to pick one part but the bit with the chairs is genius. "It tastes like rainbows".

RATING - ****1/2. Very tempted to go the full whack on this movie because I know it'll rank as a favourite of mine for some time. As it stands it's damn close. I love the hell out of this movie. Seriously, if you've not seen it then go and do so now.

NEXT – Rush Hour 3 (thus completing the rule of the threequel trilogy), The Outlaw, Pretty Baby and Perfume. All in seven days, baby!