The Big Screen Bulletin 02.04.08: The Love for Perfect Strangers Edition
Posted by Chad Webb on 02.04.2008
A nightmare with Dolph Lundgren, box office results, strike updates, "The Hobbit" director, release date changes, two more "National Treasure" sequels, new DVD releases featuring "Perfect Strangers", the critic's quickee, and much more!
Straight to Video Nightmares
Missionary Man
Starring: Dolph Lundgren, August Schellenberg, and Matthew Tompkins
Directed By: Dolph Lundgren
Written By: Dolph Lundgren and Frank Valdez
Release Date: January 22, 2008
Running Time: 93 minutes
Rated R for strong violence and language.
Release dates are fascinating sometimes. Missionary Man had a premiere in December of 2007 according to IMDB. God only knows who showed up, or if this is even true at all. It was never officially released until 2008, in a Direct-to-DVD format, yet some sites refer to this as a "2007 action flick." It might have been made in 2007, but it is a 2008 film. End of story. Anyway, some of the first two movies I remember watching as a child were He-Man and the Master of the Universe and Rocky IV. Obviously both had our favorite Swede, Dolph Lundgren on the cast. So, it's safe to say, I have been a fan of his, despite his many flops and duds. Lundgren has an awesome guise to him. He's big, he's blonde, and he's bad a**. That's a good combination. His newest classic, Missionary Man, is actually the third film he is directing. Who'd a thunk it? Drago behind the camera.
I'd be hard pressed to think of a movie that Missionary Man does not take from, or excuse me, "borrow." The story follows an unnamed ambiguous individual who rides his motorcycle into a reservation town after the death of one of his friends, J.J. He comes out of nowhere and does not hesitate to cause trouble. He begins by saving a drugged-out Indian boy named Billy from being beaten up. He then goes into the bar and orders "tequila, straight up, no lime, no salt" as if this were the next James Bond-like quote. He then heads to the funeral and reads a passage from the bible. He uses intellectual reading glasses by the way. Yes, he is a religious man who inflicts violence on everyone. Great, this guy will be a bundle of joy. He is greeted after the funeral by Nancy, the widow, who thanks him for the pleasant reading. She has a son Junior, a daughter Kiowa; and the father of J.J., White Deer, is played by August Schellenberg (a.k.a. that guy from Free Willy). Soon enough we discover that J.J. was deliberately killed. He was listed as drowning, but the culprit is John Reno, a local drug lord who basically owns the town.
Reno's goons all dress up like the old WWE Smoking Guns tag team. He also apparently has an unlimited supply of whores, to which he says "I'm gonna saddle you like a quarter horse." Funny one-liner or just plain laughably awful dialogue? You be the judge. It turns out Reno has orders from "people up north" to have a casino approved for this reservation. Much to his chagrin, the Council declines, and then we figure out why J.J. was murdered in the first place. He wanted to pass an online gaming idea instead of building a casino. Reno is not happy, so how does he respond? He conspires in front of everyone at the council, and proceeds to intimidate Kiowa in front of a convenience store. His thugs actually move in to rape her, but our hero arrives in the nick of time. On a side note, the credits list him as Ryder, but he is never really called that. He fends off the bad dudes as if the were gnats. After all, he's He-Man damnit! Later that night, Reno interrupts a random drug deal in the middle of the forest. The plans go wrong, and Reno's men shoot and slaughter everybody. One person got away though, and it was Billy. He informs Ryder and the family that he knew about the drug deal going on down by the river…in a van down by the river says Chris Farley…nevermind. Of course the inconsequential villains search for Billy to shut him up, and they are met with The Punisher, I mean Dolph. He takes the advantage and makes them walk away with their pants down. This perturbs them highly.
This prompts White Deer to take the children to a secret place so they will be safe. Reno invites Ryder to make a deal, but he says no way José. Another fight occurs, and more people get bumps and bruises. At this point, I should mention that Ryder is staying at a hotel where the owner flirts with him constantly. We also see Dolph with no shirt on. It's scary how good of shape he's in for his age. This reveals old bullet wounds. Coincidentally, Reno calls those "people from up north" I described earlier, and they might know Ryder. Now, one would guess that Reno's superiors are business or mob type pricks, but no. It is a biker gang, summoned to wreak havoc. They all wear the required biker outfit with bandanas, sunglasses, leather jackets, and black jeans. Most have facial hair. Thank goodness. We all know where this scenario is headed correct? Good, I'll stop there. Let's do a short list of similar films, or perhaps identical is a better term. Pale Rider, Fire Down Below, Road House, and Shane. This is the largest and most noticeable flaw with Missionary Man. It is the most unoriginal plot of the decade. Lundgren designed this as a modern day western, complete with a Clint Eastwood showdown as the conclusion.
As a filmmaker, Lundgren has a firm handle on the material, but I disliked many of his choices and touches. Almost all of the fight scenes are slow motion, which becomes aggravating. He overuses this technique as if he was unable to press any other button in post-production. In addition, for a person who was trained in the military, a World-Class martial arts expert, and a decathlon leader, these fight sequences are entirely too mediocre and bland. They mimic Steven Seagal's in Fire Down Below, and that doesn't say much for the quality. Admittedly, a few moments in the finale were cool, but this tale consists of Lundgren on his Hog, Lundgren drinking tequila, and Lundgren swatting away trivial thugs. Meh, I can see that in a dozen better films. The bad part about this is situation is that Lundgren is an excellent actor. That's right, I said it. He is capable of more substantial roles, but he chooses the Stallone "man of few words" shtick each time. This was my first excursion with Dolph's Direct-to-DVD efforts. I selected a bad one. Lundgren prevents this from being a completely agonizing experience. If not for the aura he presents, and his natural ability to tense up a scene, this would have been dreadful. Seagal, Van-Damme, and Snipes could not have accomplished that.
Sadly however, this is a horrendous movie. The pacing is so incredibly straight forward and unwaveringly banal that many will find it difficult to bash harshly, but Lundgren should have spiced this up a bit, and polished the desaturated visuals. The religious background of the lead character opened up the script for a barrage of cheesy one-liners, but then again, with no nudity, and lackluster action, who really cares? A couple times, Lundgren inserts social commentary on the Native American people and their history, which is just puzzling since it was included and then abruptly dropped. I can accept, as many of you can, that the strong and silent hero is how Lundgren shines and exudes his charisma. On the other hand, why is he bothering himself with directing? He is not bad at it, but it seems unnecessary. An alternate title for Missionary Man was Black Chrome, an exciting title that hinted at what could have been.
Final Rating = 3.5/10.0
The News Bulletin
Hannah Montana: Box Office Champ?
Disney 3-D pic "Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour" set off tween mania at the weekend box office, scoring the biggest win of any film playing over Super Bowl weekend--including "Titanic" -- in grossing $29 million from just 683 theaters. Based on the whammo turnout, the Mouse House announced Sunday it is extending the film's exclusive, one-week run. "Hannah Montana" smashed several records, including nabbing the highest opening for a film playing on fewer than 1,000 screens after 20th Century Fox's "Borat," which opened at $26.4 million from 837 locations in fall 2006. Disney couldn't have gone wider than it did due to the limited number of digital 3-D screens.
Previous record-holder for best Super Bowl opening was "When a Stranger Calls," which grossed $21.6 million. "Titanic" previously held the record for best Super Bowl weekend gross at $25.2 million. Coming in No. 2 for the frame was Lionsgate's Jessica Alba horror entry "The Eye," which debuted at a solid $13 million from 2,436 locations. The weekend's other two new wide entries, however, had trouble finding traction in falling outside the top 10 box office chart. Gold Circle's Eva Longoria Parker starrer "Over Her Dead Body," distributed by New Line, grossed $4.6 million from 1,977 locations, putting it at No. 11. Paramount Classics' nature TV show spoof "Strange Wilderness" grossed $3 million from 1,208 runs, placing No. 13.
In its third weekend, Fox's "27 Dresses" dropped 37% to $8.4 million from 2,976 locations to place No. 3, besting testosterone-driven "Meet the Spartans," also from Fox, and Lionsgate's "Rambo," both in their second weekends. Cume for "Dresses" is $57.1 million. Fox Searchlight's quirky dramedy and best pic nominee "Juno" continued to play exceptionally in placing No. 4 for the weekend. Film declined 27% to $7.4 million from 2,475 runs for a boffo cume of $110.3 million. "Spartans" came in No. 5, declining 61% to $7.1 million from 2,643 runs for a cume of $28.3 million. "Rambo," a Lionsgate-the Weinstein Co. co-production, declined 62% to $7 million from 2,764 runs for a cume of $29.8 million. "Rambo" placed No. 6. Generally speaking, holdovers see steep drops on Super Bowl weekend, and particularly male driven titles.
Well, it was reported that the Hannah Monatana/Miley Cyrus concert film has been sold out for days, so of course that will be enough to gain the #1 spot, and gee, who could have expected the studio to extend the limited run? Business was up for Super Bowl weekend overall though, and generally speaking the studios release female geared flicks at this point, and this year was no exception. As the article says, the drops have been huge this week. Cloverfield in two weeks has dipped so much that it is at #9, and Rambo, which was #2, is now #6. One piece of good news is There Will Be Blood cracking the top 10, hopefully getting some momentum heading into the Oscars. Juno is still staying strong at #4, and shockingly, so is 27 Dresses. Next week continues the tough predictions, but I'll go with Fool's Gold over Vince Vaughn's comedy show.
"Hellboy" Clashes with "Hobbits"
It was reported earlier this week that Mexican filmmaker Guillermo Del Toro had been in negotiations to direct both "The Hobbit" and another film based on the works of J.R.R. Tolkien for New Line Cinema and MGM. Del Toro has now been announced as having officially signed on to direct the two films. According to the British newspaper The Guardian, the announcement was made at the French premiere of the del Toro-produced thriller The Orphanage. "Today is a big day because we are announcing what everyone wanted to hear, which is that he will be directing "The Hobbit"," the host reportedly told the audience as he introduced del Toro.
Oscar winner Peter Jackson, who directed the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, will executive produce "The Hobbit." The screenplay cannot be worked on, however, until after the writers' strike ends. New Line and MGM have tentatively penciled in principal photography for the two films -- which will be shot back-to-back -- for 2009, with a budget of $150 million per film. The first is slated for release in 2010, with the second the following year.
"The Hobbit", written by Tolkien in 1937, takes place many years before "The Lord of the Rings" and centers on young Bilbo Baggins, who, along with a group of dwarves and Gandalf the wizard, embark on a quest to steal the treasure of Smaug the dragon. The first movie will reportedly tell this story, while the second will show events immediately preceding the beginning of "The Fellowship of the Ring."
If anyone could possibly do the two films justice besides Peter Jackson, it is Guillermo Del Toro. His inventive vision is as close to what I imagine Jackson would have employed himself, and since he'll be on as Executive Producer, at least his presence will there. I just hope this is not rushed. As long as the writer's strike ends soon, and the script can be worked on, and all will be well with the world. I am more excited than Frodo when he dumped the ring. The book was highly entertaining in audio form. 2010 is an appropriate time to aim for release, but that is providing the strike ends quickly. Now we should stay tuned to see who the cast will include. With luck Del Toro will not copy the LOTR trilogy, but apply his own dark methods as we saw so brilliantly in Pan's Labyrinth. Now thankfully, we can all shut up about The Hobbit.
Disney Can't Get Enough Treasures
Disney registered the domain named for NationalTreasure3DVD.com and NationalTreasure4DVD.com yesterday, leading to rumors that the studio planning back to back sequels. Despite weak reviews, "National Treasure: Book of Secrets" has already earned over $365 million worldwide in its first six weeks, already beating the take of the original 2004 feature. According to Jim Hill Media, a plot synopsis going around has the Gates family heading to Easter Island and beyond in search of Atlantis and the secret of its clean power source.
A lot of news reporters will moan and groan about this announcement, but is it really all that surprising? I expected at least a third one. National Treasure 4 might be stretching it, as the Shrek franchise has discovered when it gave the green light to Shrek 4 and Shrek 5 at one time after the sequel was successful. These are fun films, but Disney needs to ensure that the quality doesn't continue to diminish. National Treasure: Book of Secrets wasn't nearly as fun, but it had its moments that were thrilling. The concept of searching for Atlantis does entice me. I hope they stick with that and progress.
Orson Welles Assembles a Cast
Claire Danes, Eddie Marsan, Leo Bill and Imogen Poots have joined the cast of Richard Linklater's "Me and Orson Welles" reports Reuters. An adaptation of the 1937-set coming-of-age novel by Robert Kaplow, the story centers on a high school student (Zac Efron) who, while strolling the streets of New York, happens upon the yet-to-open Mercury Theatre and is noticed by its mercurial founder, Orson Welles (Christian McKay). He lands a bit part in "Julius Caesar," the production that catapulted Welles to the top, and spends the next week learning about life and love. Ben Chaplin has been cast as English film and stage actor George Coulouris. The script was penned by Holly Gent & Vince Palmo. Filming is scheduled to shoot on the Isle of Man, London and New York beginning in February.
Normally I would be interested in anything involving Orson Welles, or someone who portrays him, but then I saw the name Zac Efron in the lead, and my heart sank. Although, if any director can unearth the positive characteristics in his acting, it would be Richard Linklater. Other filmmakers could too, but I doubt Scorsese or Eastwood will be phoning him for assistance soon. I'm going to be following this closely. I hope it turns out good. As much as I bash Efron, I do have faith that he can overcome his High School Musical persona. I know nothing of Christian McKay, so I can only assume he looks like Welles. The voice is the key.
Release Date Changes
- Aussie giant croc film "Rogue" from director Greg McLean ("Wolf Creek") failed to set the Oz box-office alight, but the Weinstein Co. says it will still be released theatrically this Spring.
-Comedian Bill Maher's much anticipated skewering of religion in the Larry Charles directed documentary "Religulous" will open in NYC & LA on Friday June 20th and nationwide on Wednesday July 2nd.
-The nearly year-long delayed Brendan Fraser fantasy feature "Inkheart" has now set a specific date - January 30th, 2009.
- The modern Don Quixote-esque adventure "Up" from Pixar, has moved up from June 12th 2009 to May 29th 2009, the weekend after Memorial Day.
- The Peter Jackson-produced sci-fi thriller "District 9" from former "Halo" helmer Neil Blomkamp will open August 14th 2009.
- "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief", the 20th Century Fox Chris Columbus-directed adaptation of the Greek mythology-influenced book series will come out November 13th 2009.
- The adaptation of Cormac McCarthy bestseller "The Road" starring Viggo Mortensen will now be released in late 2008 rather than 2009.
- Classic Italian horror helmer Dario Argento's new project "Mother of Tears" is scheduled for a June 6th 2008 release.
- New Line's CG-animated "Planet 51" has been set for a July 24th 2009 release
Another week, and another load of release date alterations. I can't say as I care about Rogue, an Australian crocodile film. Boring. Bill Maher's documentary might be funny, so if I have the chance, I'll see that. Brendan Fraser's Inkheart must be weak since it is continually being delayed. Still, I enjoy Fraser, as we all should. I am crossing my fingers that Pixar's Don Quixote tale, which is oddly titled Up, is worthwhile since that story has had trouble making it to the screen for decades. A new offering from Chris Columbus should be neat. Many critics have nitpicked on his Harry Potter submissions, but I think Columbus has a superb handle on the children's adventure category. It is no shock that the Cormac McCarthy adaptation is being nudged back for Oscar release in 2008 now that No Country for Old Men is collecting all the awards and Viggo has a nomination.
Strike Updates
A breakthrough in contract talks has been reached between Hollywood studios and striking writers and could lead to a tentative deal as early as next week, a person close to the ongoing negotiations said Saturday. The two sides breached the gap Friday on the thorniest issues, those concerning compensation for projects distributed via the Internet, said the person, who requested anonymity because he were not authorized to speak publicly. A second person familiar with the talks, also speaking on condition of anonymity because he wasn't authorized to comment publicly, said that significant progress had been made and a deal might be announced within a week.
The people did not provide specific details on the possible agreement. Major points of contention include how much and when writers are paid for projects delivered online after they've been broadcast on TV. The studios have been insisting that programs be streamed online for a certain period, deemed promotional, during which writers would forgo residuals. When payment kicked in, the companies sought to limit it to a flat $1,200 fee, while the guild wanted a percentage of a distributor's revenue. The Writers Guild of America did not immediately reply to a request for comment. The Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, the trade group representing the studios, declined comment, citing a news blackout agreed to by both sides during the talks.
Guild leaders have said they are fighting for a piece of the future, reflecting the widespread belief that Internet-delivered entertainment fare would inevitably claim an increasing and perhaps even dominant market share. Although work remains to be done on elements of the agreement, prospects for a deal appeared solid, said those close to the situation. The tentative agreement would have to be approved by a majority of guild members. The guild, whose 3-month-old strike has brought the entertainment industry to a standstill, began informal talks with top media company executives Jan. 23 in an attempt to reach a new deal covering governing work for film, TV and digital media.
Negotiations between the guild and alliance negotiators collapsed Dec. 7 after the alliance demanded that proposals for unionization of animation and reality shows be taken off the table. The guild refused. During the negotiations impasse, the Directors Guild of America began its own talks with studio chiefs and swiftly reached a tentative deal that was announced Jan. 17 and covered some of the digital media issues key to the writers guild. Major studio executives called on the writers guild to begin informal talks, which essentially are standing in for formal negotiations, according to those familiar with the situation.
The guild extended its own olive branch before the informal talks started by withdrawing the reality-animation unionization proposal and by deciding to keep pickets away from the Grammy Awards. It has since decided to allow the music ceremony to proceed with full union support. However, the fate of the Feb. 24 Academy Awards has remained in question, with the guild so far declining to grant its blessing to the show. A union refusal to cooperate with the Golden Globes decimated the ceremony, which was boycotted by supportive actors. Oscar organizers and producers have vowed they will stage some type of show, with or without union support -- but a writers guild deal would allow this ceremony to proceed in its full, star-studded glory, providing an invaluable promotional showcase for movie studios and their films.
This is huge news. If a deal is reached, then everyone heads back to work, and the Oscars can go on without any inteference. Yay, no more strike news from 411 columnists! This is obviously gossip that is not for sure yet, but the fact remains that the writers' need to be paid for projects distributed on the Internet. I am curious as to the specifics of the approaching deal (if one is in the works), and if the writers are getting what they want. All I can say is that I hope all parties are satisfied so we can move on. The strike is wearing on my nerves now.
The 20 Second Sermon
RKO has launched a subsidiary called Roseblood Movie Company which will remake eight of RKO's past horror films like Lady Scarface and The Monkey's Paw. Ehhh, horror remakes are bad no matter how obscure the titles are. Wesley Snipes was acquitted on tax fraud and conspiracy charges. If he was indeed not guilty, then I'm rooting for his comeback. Hopefully he can pull himself out of the B-movie slump. Now that Mark Romanek has left The Wolf Man remake, Brett Ratner, Frank Daranont, James Mangold, and Bill Condon have, or will be, meeting with the studio to replace him. They cannot change the script until you-know-what ends. These names are intriguing, though it will probably go to Ratner. The flick must be bad if Romanek left all of a sudden. Here are my brief thoughts on Super Bowl 42. The first three quarters were not very exciting. Both teams were playing horribly. Then in the final quarter, it picked up dramatically. David Tyree's catch might be one of the greatest plays I've ever seen. Tom Petty completed a nice little set for the Half-Time show, and the commercials were not very funny as a whole. The Budweiser ones were magnificent as always. My favorite was the Coke parade balloons fighting over the bottle, and the worst had to be the cars.com ones. I'm happy for Mr. George Sirois and his Giants.
What's Coming to DVD….Buy or Avoid?
DVD Headline of the Week
Perfect Strangers - The Complete First and Second Seasons - FINALLY! One of my favorite shows is now coming to DVD. The beginning seasons were funny, but the middle ones were the best. This is a must buy. Show your support by picking one up in hopes that they keep on coming. Buy
The Assassination of jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford - This was on my honorable mention list for 2008. It is a truly great western with fantabulous performances. My only concern is whether or not they will release a double dip with a rumored alternate cut. I hope not. Buy
Across the Universe (2-Disc Special Edition) - This film did not improve in my mind the more I thought about it, but it was somewhat funny, and the music was entertaining. I'll give it a pass just barely. Buy
Elizabeth: The Golden Age - This period sequel slipped by me, but I plan on renting it since I enjoyed the first one. I've heard mixed things about this though.
The Aristocats (Special Edition) - This was a decent Disney film, but not a classic. For me, it was not memorable enough to purchase. Avoid
The Jane Austen Book Club - This struck me as overly pretentious, hence I was never excited to see if it was playing near me. I'll probably never see this.
The Brave One - Jodie Foster was better than this film as a whole. It was average, nothing more. Some evident plot holes cannot be ignored and the premise is too overused. Worth a rent, but not a buy. Avoid
Snow Buddies - Fun with dogs...yay. It appears that the dogs from the Air Bud franchise and those from Snow Dogs have joined together for one flick. Straight to video nightmare?
Thye Mystery Science Theater 3000 Collection - Volume 10.2 - The Godzilla flick has been yanked off, and replaced with Giant Gila Monster. Those who already own this can go to their website for details on picking up just the new addition.
Feast of Love - Morgan Freeman made a lot of odd choices in 2007. This was one of them, although I failed to see it. I am curious, so I'll give it a shot.
Tootsie (25th Anniversary Edition) - This was a movie I saw after Mrs, Doubtfire, so I'm partial to that, but Tootsie is also a superb cross-dressing story, and worthy of a double dip. Buy
Descent - No, not the horror film. This was a Tribeca submission starring Rosario Dawson that is rated NC-17. One guy at the festival described it as "Gutsy."
The Apartment (Collector's Edition) - One of the greatest films of all-time, and it finally receives some special treatment with long overdue extras. I own this already, but it's worth an upgrade. Buy
Midnight Express (30th Anniversary Edition) - I love prison movies, but this was one that I did not get into. I thought the character was stupid, and the acting was weak. I do know this needed some better features on DVD though. Avoid
Turok: Son of Stone - Is this an animated film based on the game? I suppose so, but nothing has been written about this yet. If it is, this will definitely be a future straight to video nightmare.
Blonde and Blonder - This is rated PG-13 and stars Pam Anderson with Denise Richards. That tells you everything you want to know.
You've Got Mail (Deluxe Edition) - I don't know what they tacked on to the already loaded first DVD, but I doubt this has anything more substantial to warrant an upgrade. Still, the case is probably better, and this movie is terrific. Buy
Movie Dictionary: Word of the Week
Gower Gulch - Gower Gulch is a nickname for the intersection of Sunset Boulevard and Gower Street in Hollywood, California. In the days of silent film, the surrounding area contained several movie studios. Western films were extremely popular, and cowboys would come to Hollywood hoping to find work. They would congregate at that particular street corner, which is how it got that nickname. Additionally, legend has it that a drug store there lent the phrase "drug store cowboys". This is also the corner that housed the studio where Charlie Chaplin made some of his first movies.
Today, a strip mall at that corner bears that name. Some of the stores include: Starbucks, Amagi Sushi, Tidal Wave, Denny's, GNC, Henry's Printing, and Rite Aid. The name also appears in a Warner Bros. Cartoon "All Abir-r-r-d". It is the name of a western-looking town that Tweety's train passes through. In another Warner Bros. Cartoon, "Drip-A-Long Daffy", Porky Pig sings a song entitled "She's the Flower of Gower Gulch".
The Critic's Quickee
Rambo - The more I think about this film, the more I enjoy it for the action and the drama. Click on my full review to read all my thoughts.
Untraceable - Don't be fooled by the original sounding premise. Click on my review of the thriller by clicking right here.
Meet The Spartans - I was so very close to watching this in time for this issue, and then I watched the Super Bowl. What is wrong with me?
Based on the Trailer…
Newest Trailers
The Duchess - This is a goofy trailer. You wonder who could be introduced, and then the title "The Duchess" comes up, and you wonder why all the hassle of building it up. Knightley is to period pieces as Seagal is to B-movie action. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0
Stop-Loss - The cast here is risky. Ryan Philippe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are superb, but Channing Tatum is certainly not. Still, Gordon-Levitt is enough reason for me. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Son of Rambow - Since this was tagged to Rambo the action movie, one can't help but think this looks cute. It should be an entertaining children's film despite the peculiar title. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0
88 Minutes - I do think this will be a competent thriller, mostly due to Pacino. For once the trailer revealed a lot without exposing too much. Hopefully this delivers. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
February Releases
Jumper - Boy does look retarded. Doug Liman must have thought applying these nifty special effects to a story would work out. I doubt it. This might be average, but it appears to be dumb in my opinion. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0
Witless Protection - I have never seen one of Larry the Cable Guy's films, but they do make money. Unfortunately, they also look terrible. This seems to be a continuation of that streak. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0
Be Kind Rewind - Michel Gondry usually makes films that are original if nothing else. I like his style of directing, and this plot looks to be a lot of fun. Jack Black and Mos Def should be an interesting duo. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Fools' Gold - This Matthew McConaughey/Kate Hudson flick is either a bad adventure story or a sappy romantic comedy. Either way, I could care less. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0
In Bruges - I watched this trailer, which is funny, and thought the title was Shoot Now, Sightsee Later. Oh well, Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson, and Ralph Fiennes look hilarious in this action comedy. Trailer Rating =8.0/10.0
Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show - A comedy show film with Vince Vaughn and his buddies. Ok, maybe this will be funny, but I am not really ecstatic or anything. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0
The Spiderwick Chronicles - Remember when everybody was raving about Freddie Highmore? Now he just picks the lamest scripts. This is shaping up to be a bland fantasy pic much like the other recent offerings. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0
Vantage Point - Hmmm. I'm not sure about this political thriller. The cast is fine, but will that matter if the film blows hard? Trailer Rating = 7.0 /10.0
The Other Boleyn Girl - My first reaction was, wow, it is so cool to see Portman and Johansson in a film together, but then the trailer shows you this boring period piece and it is a complete letdown. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0
Semi-Pro - This is only a teaser, but it was certainly funny. Ferrell seems to be doing the same film over and over again, but people like him. I'll see this. It will be good for laughs. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
March Releases
Snow Angels - This follows three couples at adjacent periods in life and stars Sam Rockwell and Kate Beckinsale. It looks average at best by the trailer, but that could be misleading. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Funny Games - I'll give credit to whoever created this preview. It's different and gets your attention, but also annoying. Still, Tim Roth seems to be in his share of projects lately. This should be worth a look. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0
10,000 B.C. - I'm not sure if this wants to be Apocalypto or Pathfinder. Either way it is helmed by Roland Emmerich, so it is likely to blow aside from the special effects. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0
Horton Hears a Who - CGI might be the best way to adapt a Dr. Seuss book to the screen. This doesn't look all that bad I guess. I'll give it a shot. Carell and Carrey should be funny together. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Drillbit Taylor - Another movie from the people who brought us Superbad and Knocked Up, and this one has Owen Wilson as bodyguard to high school kids. It looks ok I suppose. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0
April, TBD, and Beyond Releases
Prom Night - This is going to be a stinky turd. Nothing else needs to be said, and the trailer doesn't help. The bad cover song hurts as well. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0
Kung Fu Panda - This could be funny. Jack Black has solid voice for CGI, and the premise is intriguing. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Wall-E - Another Pixar classic is under our belt, and I can't wait for the next one. This robotic adventure should be great, and easily superior to Robots. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0
Mamma Mia! - I have never seen this musical on Broadway, but I suppose I'll have to see this film, featuring music from Abba…ugh. It doesn't look terrible, but it's not my type of thing. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0
Leatherheads - George Clooney directs and stars in this football film with Jim from The Office and Rene Zellweger. I think it looks fun and entertaining. Clooney is a fine filmmaker. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0
You Don't Mess With the Zohan - What a shame that Adam Sandler's films seem to be getting worse. I have no interest in seeing this, and I did not laugh once during this trailer. Same old song and dance from him. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0
Midnight Meat Train - You watch this preview, and it strikes you as a riveting thriller, then the title comes up, and you can't help but chuckle. It seems to take itself way too seriously for a bizarre title like that. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0
Iron Man - I must admit, any trailer that has Black Sabbath's "Iron Man" is ok by me. This looks funny and could be a decent blockbuster. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0
Speed Racer - This film looks weird. I mean, it should visually amazing like only the Wachowski's know how, but I'm not sure about this one yet. It should be entertaining though. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - I must admit, after disliking the first one, this trailer actually has me anticipating the sequel. Perhaps they improved with age. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0
Hancock - Will Smith plays one of the most extraordinary looking super heroes in history. I'm actually excited to see this. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0
Wall-E (2) - The second trailer for Pixar's upcoming film makes me want to see it even more. I'm sorry, but this company is doing wondrous things right now. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0
Star Trek XI - The teaser was superbly placed before Cloverfield, and this causes me to be amped for the next installment despite my doubts about the cast. I hope it's as good as we deserve. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0
Hellboy II: The Golden Army - I loved the first film, and am greatly anticipating the sequel. It looks to have kept the same sense of visual excitement and adventure. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0
The Dark Knight (2) - I have to admit, despite the endless news bits about this film, the trailer is marvelous and could not have been handled better. This will rock. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0
Kitt Kittredge: An American Girl - The new Abigail Breslin vehicle. I'll bet this blows as it looks similar to Nancy Drew, which was horrendous by itself. I'll be passing on this one. Trailer Rating = 3.0/10.0
Forgetting Sarah Marshall - The new pic from the Apatow pack looks hilarious with Jason Segel in the lead role. At this point, we'd go see anything with Apatow's name attached. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0
Defiance - This new Edward Zwick film looks outstanding with Daniel Craig leading the cast in World War II story. This gave me chills. I can't wait. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0
What Happens in Vegas - This is a movie that gives people reason to say there is nothing good out. This will be a total and complete piece of junk. You know it, and I know it. Trailer Rating = 2.0/10.0
411 February Roundtable - This month I compiled the thoughts of the movie zone staff on the summer releases of January! Fact or Fiction - Ben Piper gathers the thoughts of Mike Gorman and Trevor Snyder this week! Furious on Film - Arnold Furious gives you his opinions on new and old films every week. What!!-This-Column!?? - Bryan Kristopowitz continues his column about…stuff. Two Tivos to Paradise - Al Norton brings all the news and updates in television that you can handle. Ask 411 Movies - Leonard Hayhurst answers all the questions in Ask 411 movies. The USB Evening Movie News - George Sirois brings the Thursday news for you. Misunderstood Masterpieces - Will Helm gives you his weekly misunderstood masterpiece for your reading pleasure. The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks - Thanks again to John Meehan for providing my banner here, and for the Alphabet feature.
Make sure to check out all of this week's reviews of DVD's, Movies, Music, and more!
And of course read every movie review with the name Chad Webb attached to it.
Thanks for reading the whole way through, and make sure to tune in next week.
