411 Movies Roundtable: March 2008

Posted by Chad Webb on 03.05.2008

The movie zone staff looks back at the news of February, and then chats about the releases of March!

Welcome back to the monthly movies roundtable. The month of March has begun, and we have a bunch of new releases to discuss. The big question on everyone's mind is what film, if any will capture the attention of moviegoers like 300 did last year at the same time? The quality of the releases thus far has not been very impressive, so filling the seats will not be easy.

In this edition, the every contributor has nothing pleasant to say about College Road Trip, Owain J.Brimfield uses the word "punt" to describe a film, and Arnold Furious is pretty upset about Superhero Movie. The picture theme this month reflects the release of Superhero Movie. So, here are some superheroes' you might have forgotten, or haven't heard of at all.

The Month That Was

Jerome Cusson

Biggest Winner of the Month: The Coen Brothers- Say what you will about No Country for Old Men, but Ethan and Joel Coen have sealed their legacy as two of the best filmmakers of our time with their latest effort and Oscar victories.

Biggest Loser of the Month: The producers and studio executives of Atonement Clearly, this film was made for one reason, Oscar bait. To say it failed miserably would be an understatement. It just won one gold statue, and it didn't do very well at any of the other award shows. And since there was minimal box office, this has to be considered a big failure

Biggest Movie News of the Month: Say whatever you want, but the fact that there is another Star Wars movie coming out is still huge news. I'm not even sure I want to see this, but it will get people talking.

Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: I'm a huge Simon Pegg fan, and this is the third straight weak month for movies, so the answer is Run Fatboy Run. Plus, since I'm a huge Friends fan, I definitely have to check out David Schwimmer's first directorial effort on the big screen.

Recommended DVD Release of the Month: 101 Dalmatians… Yeah, I'm a Disney mark. Screw you if you can't appreciate the greatness of the early Disney animated movies.

Classic Movie of the Month: Another Disney movie, Toy Story. It's Pixar's first movie, and while the technology has advanced so far, no one should ever forget this first effort because of the groundwork it laid down, groundwork still being laid down to this day.

Movie Quote of the Month: "My name is Lester Burnham. This is my neighborhood; this is my street; this is my life. I am 42 years old; in less than a year I will be dead. Of course I don't know that yet, and in a way, I am dead already."-Lester Burnham from American Beauty






Owain J. Brimfield

Biggest Winner of the Month: I'm going slightly under the radar and picking the Bourne franchise - three Oscar wins and the news of a fourth movie has to be a pretty good month for Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon. Could this be the sign of an impending end to Bond's dominance in the global market? Or could the fourth movie be as bad as Robert Ludlum's fourth book? Either way, I and many others will be very curious to find out.

Biggest Loser of the Month: The Academy themselves, with the ratings for the televised Oscar ceremony apparently the lowest they've been in twenty years. I'm no marketing guru, but if I'm sitting near the top of the Academy hierarchy, I'm looking for a drastic image change and fast. It's been needed for years, but never has it been more prevalent than this year with the aftereffects of the WGA strike. Speaking of which...

Biggest Movie News of the Month: The writer's strike ends. Thank fuck for that.

Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Doomsday, by a fair stretch. This almost reads like a checklist of my perfect movie - end-of-the-world scenario, director proven in the genre, killer viruses, Bob Hoskins, compelling trailer, homegrown British movie... just add in some cyborgs and I'm pretty much set.

Recommended DVD Release of the Month: I haven't managed to rent a DVD at all this month due to it being a mad old time, so I can't in all conscience recommend anything in particular.

Classic Movie of the Month: I finally got round to watching Duck Soup for the first time this week, and while I remain no great fan of the Marx brothers, there's no denying that Groucho's one liners are absolutely sublime, and the film was way ahead of its time. The musical interludes are a bit irritating, though.

Movie Quote of the Month: "Well, that covers a lot of ground. Say! You cover a lot of ground yourself. You'd better beat it. I hear they're gonna tear you down and put up an office building where you're standing. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff. You know, you haven't stopped talking since I came here. You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle." - Rufus T. Firefly launches a laconic tirade against Mrs. Teasdale in the Marxes Duck Soup.






Scotty Flamingo:

Biggest Winner of the Month: Marion Cotillard wins Best Actress, beating out Cate Blanchett and Ellen Page. Yeah, the Coens brought in a lot of gold, but it was mostly expected. This was the year's big upset and has made Cotillard into a star.

Biggest Loser of the Month: Scotty Flamingo: Lindsey Lohan for sweeping the Razzies. Time to get a new agent. Oh and quit the Coke.

Biggest Movie News of the Month: Scotty Flamingo: Matt Damon on board for more Borne movies. Now if we can just get Matt Dongin to continue the Porn Identity series...

Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Scotty Flamingo: Kind of a week month for movies, but Drillbit Taylor looks to be funny if you are an Owen Wilson fan like myself.

Classic Movie of the Month: Scotty Flamingo: Magic. It stars Anthony Hopkins as a ventriloquist with a murderous dummy. Anything with dummies or dolls that may or may not be alive scares the hell out of me.

Movie Quote of the Month:

Scotty Flamingo:
Abracadabra, I sit on his knee.
Presto, change-o, and now he is me!
Hocus Pocus, we take her to bed,
Magic is fun...when you're dead.

-Fats the Dummy from the above movie.






Arnold Furious

Biggest Winner of the Month: The Coen Brothers. Sweeping the major awards at the Oscars including best picture and best director(s). They personally took home 3 shiny new Oscar statuettes. That has to beat anyone else regardless of how much of an upset their win was.

Biggest Loser of the Month: Denise Richards. Former Mrs. Charlie Sheen is about to get herself a reality show. You know how these things generally go. For every one that works out for someone you have another dozen where a celebrity looks like an enormous tool and it wrecks any chance of a possible comeback. Denise Richards was never talented in the first place ergo this is a bad idea.

Biggest Movie News of the Month: I'm still not sure I understand what exactly is happening with it but the news that more Star Wars related malarkey is in the pipeline sounds like a good idea. I really enjoyed the Clone Wars and it seems like that story isn't fully told as yet. From one I've heard, from several sources, it'll either be a film that's then shown on TV in bits as a mini-series or something else along those lines. The chances of a cinematic release has gotten me a little tingly down below though. Oh and that writers thing blew over. Phew! I almost noticed.

Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: This is just one of those months. I don't want to see ANY film being released this month.

Recommended DVD Release of the Month: American Gangster. Because it comes in a steel case and looks badass.

Classic Movie of the Month: Lord of the Rings. I saw someone bashing the movies in the comments section and decided to re-visit. I've never watched them all close together and I'm halfway through Two Towers while I write this. I had to stop off in order to get this done. I can understand some criticism because there really is an awful lot of walking. Like 11 hours worth. But the film still looks good and stands as one of the great cinematic achievements of modern times. Also, two for the price of one, check out Jack Nicholson in Witches of Eastwick. No one chews scenery like Jack.

Movie Quote of the Month: "Freedom is overrated" – David Morse in The Crossing Guard. Yet another Jack Nicholson movie.






Bryan Kristopowitz

Biggest Winner of the Month: The Coen Brothers, for cleaning up at the Oscars. "No Country for Old Men" beat back "There Will Be Blood" and "Michael Clayton" to take Best Picture. It was a great flick and deserves all of the praise that it's getting.

Biggest Loser of the Month: Bob Shaye. He was thrown out of New Line Cinema after "The Golden Compass" tanked at the domestic box office, yet another financial failure for the studio. And now New Line Cinema has been absorbed into Warner Brothers. A bunch of people besides Shaye are losing their jobs in the process. That's just awful.

Biggest Movie News of the Month: The proposed "Justice League" movie being moved out of Australia and moved to Canada. I guess Warner Brothers wants to keep a closer eye on things in the event that the big butt movie starts going over budget.

Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: "Doomsday," obviously. "Meet the Browns" just to see if Tyler Perry still have the box office magic.

Recommended DVD Release of the Month: "12 Angry Men: 50th Anniversary Edition." If you haven't seen this movie yet, this DVD is a fine opportunity to get acquainted with it. It's got Hank Fonda, Lee J. Cobb, Martin Balsam, Quincy, EG Marshall, Jack Warden, among others, in it. A true classic.

Classic Movie of the Month: "Lake Placid" (1999): Yeah, blow me, I like this movie. A giant crocodile runs rampant on a lake in Maine, eating people and cows and bears left and right. Bill Pullman and Brendan Gleeson are the local officials trying to subdue the creature, with the help of museum curator Bridget Fonda and rich croc loving weirdo Oliver Platt. Features Betty White saying the "F" word and telling a cop to suck her dick. It deserves cult status.

Movie Quote of the Month:
"Nick: You've got a sense of humor Bob... I like that in a man.
Bob: What do you like in a woman?
Nick: Big tits."
Nick Pirandello, CIA (James Belushi) and Bob Wilson (John Ritter), "Real Men" (1987)






Chad Webb

Biggest Winner of the Month: I'd say the Coens have to be up there with the biggest winners. Going along with the Oscar trend, I'll say Marion Cotillard, who should hopefully be feeling on top of the world after her hard earned win.

Biggest Loser of the Month: Sadly, I must say the New Line Cinema company, since they have now folded into Time Warner, and will be suffering major losses in employees. That is not good news, and I wish all of them luck.

Biggest Movie News of the Month: The fact that Universal has acquired the rights to an endless amount of Hasbro board games to be made into films. This should cause a new trend for critics and bloggers to bitch about for years.

Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: For the first time in a long while, nothing really stands out. I am somewhat anxious to see Doomsday, andDrillbit Taylor might be funny since Apatow is attached.

Recommended DVD Release of the Month: A new anniversary edition of Bonnie and Clyde hits stores, as well as a two-disc version of Frank Darabont's highly underrated The Mist.

Classic Movie of the Month: In honor of the Coens, my pick is not necessarily a "classic" film the sense that it's decades old, but Miller's Crossing was another fine piece of filmmaking from two gifted people. The acting is so powerful from Gabriel Byrne, and the rest of the cast is superb, and what makes this story so interesting is how the Coens take gangster clichés, and throw them at the audience in unique ways.

Movie Quote of the Month: From Miller's Crossing: Tom Reagan: If you want me to keep my mouth shut, it's gonna cost you some dough. I figure a thousand bucks is reasonable, so I want two.

Coming Attractions

March 7th





College Road Trip
Director: Roger Kumble
Stars: Raven-Symoné, Martin Lawrence
The Plot: When an overachieving high school student (Raven) decides to travel around the country to choose the perfect college, her overprotective cop father (Lawrence) decides to accompany her in order to keep her on the straight and narrow.

Jerome Cusson: It would be nice if we could get a decent break between Martin Lauerence movies. Unfortunately, even ten years wouldn't be enough. Here we get less than two months. This will be a bad comedy with silly comedy and I will not be seeing this under any circumstances

Brimfield: Balls to this. The only thing Raven-Symone has ever been in that's in any way funny is Eric D. Snider's blog, in which he sets up a fake email address for her and specifically states that it's not her email address just to see what sort of idiots he attracts. Check it out.

Scotty Flamingo: I'm only interested if the movie ends with Raven eating Martin at the end. Ok, that was mean, even for me.

Arnold Furious: Welcome to one of my automatic passes. I have a list where if an actor appears in a film it means I don't have to watch it. If I ever got a job reviewing movies it'd go in my contract. And one of those names is Martin Lawrence. I find him unbearable in almost every film he's been in. I only like two movies he's appeared in; Bad Boys & Life. And neither one even had a good performance from him in it. So I won't be watching this or any other Martin Lawrence movie any time soon.

Kristopowitz: I like seeing the occasional "safe" family movie, but this doesn't seem like it's going to work. Since Martin Lawrence can't swear or likely engage in the kind of humor that made the "Big Mama's House" fun, I don't know he's going to fare here. I'm sure that Raven-Symone will be terrible, though. Hopefully that whacked out pig in the commercial somehow saves the movie.

Webb: Does Martin Lawrence decline any script put in front of him? At one point, he was funny. That seems like a stretch nowadays. As for Raven-Symone, the only thing she has ever been tolerable in was The Cosby Show.





10,000 B.C.
Director: Roland Emmerich
Stars: Camilla Belle, Steven Strait, Marco Khan
The Plot: A young mammoth hunter journeys through uncharted territory to secure the future of his tribe.

Jerome Cusson: Emmerich has a propensity for emphasizing the fiction over the science by creating preposterous plots and completely unrealistic films. This looks to be no exception.

Brimfield: Could be epic, very definitely will be cheesy. I like Emmerich's taste in corny blockbusters, so I'll be curious to see how this one turns out.

Scotty Flamingo: When you make Michael Bay look like a director who shows restraint, you know you are a hack. This looks stupid. The cave people look like supermodels with dreads. The monsters look like cartoons. It is basically The Flintstones. All we need is one of the mammoths vacuuming with his trunk and saying "This stinks!"

Arnold Furious: Time to dust off the old HACK ALERT! Some people like Emmerich's big and bold style (he's directed Independence Day, Godzilla, The Patriot and the Day After Tomorrow). I think those films have their place. After all I've seen them all. Emmerich is good at no brainer stuff but he's just less fun than other no brainer directors. Even Michael Bay did Bad Boys and the Rock before things started to go wrong for him. Emmerich's best film to date is Stargate. Which was a good idea badly executed. This will probably look very pretty but have no soul. A definite cinematic movie. Just don't go expecting depth.

Kristopowitz: While the effects and the action scenes will likely be top notch, the whole idea behind this movie seems tired and lame. The big screen is where you kind of have to see the movie, just to take in everything it visually has to offer, but at the same time it's not the kind of movie you have to go and see immediately. I'm just not that interested.

Webb: Well, Emmerich certainly is a wise businessman when it comes to his canon, seeing as how his next film was signed before the release of 10,000 B.C.. Honestly, many are expecting this to do well at the box office, but I think it will disappoint in terms of numbers. It looks like a pile of crap with nothing but impressive special effects.





The Bank Job
Director: Roger Donaldson
Stars: Jason Statham, Saffron Burrows
The Plot: Based on one of the biggest crimes in British history, a group of unseasoned criminals are lured into a heist, thinking they are going to rip off the safety deposit boxes of some of London's wealthiest citizens. Instead, they are unknowing recruits on a top-secret mission to steal photos of a Royal princess who was snapped in some compromising situations.

Jerome Cusson: I'm officially throwing in the towel on Jason Statham. I want to like him, but just about every film he's ever made has been pretty awful. There does look to be some interesting aspects to this film since it's based off a true story. I'm still not going to see it unless I hear some phenomenal reviews.

Brimfield: I do love Jason Statham, but his taste in leading roles is patchy at best. Maybe one for a DVD rental, and even then only because it's a home turf movie.

Scotty Flamingo: Every Statham movie should be direct to DVD. He is this era's Don "The Dragon" Wilson.

Arnold Furious: And here's another name I generally avoid since his move to America. Jason Statham. Somehow considered a star despite his considerable lack of any attribute a star possesses. Roger Donaldson can be very hit or miss. This has some potential but I wouldn't spend money on finding out one way or the other. Reviews have so far been mixed. It's riding at 76% fresh at RottenTomatoes.com but at 60% among the top critics. Which is bordering on unfresh. The only heavy hitter to tackle it so far is Peter Travers from Rolling Stone who gave it the thumbs up. Again proceed at your own risk.

Kristopowitz: The preview for this is fabulous, and the story is intriguing. As long as the flick stay away from being hip and edgy and oh so freaking cool Jason Statham could have a nice little action drama on his hands here.

Webb: It won't be long until Statham gains weight, gets older, and loses his spark. He will then take his rightful place in the Direct-to-DVD realm with Seagal, Van-Damme, and Snipes. He is halfway there already by choosing this junk.

March 14th





Doomsday
Director: Neil Marshall
Stars: Rhona Mitra, Bob Hoskins, Alexander Siddig
The Plot: Three decades after the lethal Reaper Virus decimated the population of Great Britain, a team of specialists led by Eden Sinclair (Mitra) is dispatched into a hot zone where a new breakout has occurred. Their effort to develop a cure within the confines of a walled-off area quickly devolves into a waking nightmare.

Jerome Cusson: I remember when this was called Dawn of the Dead and 28 Days Later. Enough with the zombies please.

Brimfield: Glorious. There's nothing about this that I don't like the sound of, so I'll be eagerly anticipating its release.

Scotty Flamingo: Too many zombie movies lately. This also looks way too clean and polished for a good zombie flick. I'm only interested in future zombie movies if an adaptation of The Walking Dead comes out.

Arnold Furious: 28 Years Later.

Kristopowitz: It's about time we had a big, butt kicking action horror movie like this, sort of "Escape from New York" meets "Mad Max." The cast looks pretty good, the action sequences look fabulous. However, I just hope that Rhona Mitra, the star, isn't as wooden throughout as she is in the previews.

Webb: I have mixed feelings here. On one hand, the trailer made it seem like 28 Days Later, yet it also seems like promising science fiction. The wild card is Rhona Mitra as the lead. She is normally used as eye candy, and not her acting, so that will be interesting. It is Neil Marshall, the man who gave us The Decent, so I'm game.





Horton Wear a Who!
Director: Jimmy Hayward Steve Martino
Stars: Jim Carrey, Steve Carell
The Plot: One day, in the Jungle of Nool, Horton the Elephant (Carrey) is addressed by what he thinks is a speck of dust. Thanks to his extraordinary hearing, Horton learns the speck is really a tiny planet that is home to the Whos, a species seeking protection from certain danger. Believing that "a person's a person, no matter how small," Horton takes it upon himself to defend the Whos, even as he faces ridicule from the other animals in the jungle.

Jerome Cusson: I hated the first two movies based on Dr. Seuss books, but because this is animated and has some very good voices, there is at least potential. The problem is whether this film can sustain itself for 80 minutes since these stories tend to play better in half hour television specials.

Brimfield: Is this an American thing? I've no idea what on earth this is all about, but it sounds like it could be a decent kids' movie.

Scotty Flamingo: I got to see a scene of this with the Mr. Magorium DVD. It looks gorgeous. Some really good CG. That said, there is nothing here. Carey is playing himself. So is Carrell. Add to that the fact that it is like a 20 page kids book stretched to an hour and a half, and that Cat In the Hat is the ONLY movie I've ever walked out of and I have no faith that this will be watchable.

Arnold Furious: Horton Hears a Who surely? Not a big fan of Dr Seuss. I'll leave this one for the kids.

Kristopowitz: This looks like fun. Which is most likely the point of the whole thing.

Webb: Will this be outstanding? No. However, the smartest move was making the Dr. Seuss book adaptations into CGI, and not dressing up a lead star to look ridiculous. This might be an improvement. I hope it is at least mildly amusing.





Funny Games
Director: Michael Haneke
Stars: Naomi Watts, Tim Roth, Michael Pitt
The Plot: Two assailaints infiltrate a cabin in the woods and, with unexpected sophistication, put a vacationing family through a series of psychologically and physically abusive games.

Jerome Cusson: I am all in favor of Tim Roth in movies and seeing such a dark concept come to the screen. The issue is the trailer seems to give away too much and I'm concerned with how this story is going to end up. Plus, the idea of a director remaking his own film for an American audience just seems very strange and feels like a money grab.

Brimfield: The synopsis sounds a bit dreary, but any film with Tim Roth in it is worth a punt in my book.

Arnold Furious: I wonder who on Earth this is marketed at? As far as I can tell the aim is upset the audience. Who wants to upset their audience? Oddly enough though of all the films released this month this being the riskiest makes it the most likely that I'd watch but even still I'd wait for a review and I imagine they'll be mixed. Some people just don't enjoy watching psychopaths attacking family life. They're happy enough watching them attack a bunch of stupid teenagers but the family unit? It's a grey area. I can't see this doing well at the box office.

Kristopowitz: I read about this in Fangoria magazine, and it sounds pretty good for a horror thriller. But I've been burned by Fangoria before, so who knows. This is a remake of a movie the director already made.

Webb: I saw the original foreign film, and it was fantastic. I don't know what Michael Haneke is planning to change. If this is simply a shot for shot remake, I will be furious. The cast is comprised of some nice names, but I'm still wondering what the purpose of this, other than to show the story to American audiences.

March 21st





Drillbit Taylor
Director: Steven Brill
Stars: Owen Wilson, Josh Peck, Alex Frost
The Plot: When two freshmen are tormented by a bully during their first day of high school, they enlist the services of a solider-of-fortune (Wilson), fully unaware that he is anything but skilled in the art of protection.

Jerome Cusson: I'll give this a chance even with Owen Wilson in a starring role. Apatow and Rogen's name being attached to this could be the saving grace for this film, not only for the box office, but for quality purposes.

Brimfield: Which Wilson is this? The unfunny one or the one who tried to kill himself? Oh wait - they're both the same guy. Snigger.

Scotty Flamingo: I love me some Owen Wilson. I was really sad to hear about the suicide attempt but really happy he didn't succeed. Dude, it is Kate Hudsen, if ever there was a high maintenance C... Anyway, this looks funny. Plus it has Danny McBride, who ruled the planet earth in Hot Rod. Mark my words, this guy is gonna be huge.

Arnold Furious: And here's Owen Wilson. All we need now is a Jude Law & Catherine Zeta-Jones team up and all my acting hate buttons will have been pushed! This is going to be horrible. I have no interest in it at all.

Kristopowitz: This just looks stupid. I hope it really isn't as bad as it looks. Wilson needs a hit.

Webb: If I'm not mistaken, Judd Apatow is involved with this somehow, so that alone causes me to want to see it, regardless of Owen Wilson as the star. The trailer, which I have seen a million times, is quite funny. I'll give this a shot definitely.





Meet the Browns
Director: Tyler Perry
Stars: Tamela J. Mann, Angela Bassett, Tyler Perry
The Plot: A single mom takes her family to Georgia for the funeral of her father -- a man she never met. There, her clan is introduced to their relatives: the crass, fun-loving Brown family.

Jerome Cusson: I haven't heard that much about this film, but Tyler Perry usually means low budget with Christian values and good box office. I expect much of the same here.

Brimfield: Someone needs to stop Tyler Perry - it seems no critic can dare denigrate one of his movies for fear of a thousand responses from "African Americans" claiming that it's racist not to like films about black people.

Scotty Flamingo: I like Tyler Perry's stuff. He makes really positive films for the black community. Being a white dude, they aren't at the top of my viewing list, but I think they are perfectly fine films.

Arnold Furious: Tyler Perry can keep tirelessly making films but that doesn't mean they'll ever get released outside of the US. My online rental firm still stocks nothing by Tyler Perry. Play.com has nothing. Amazon only has his films on import. Basically until he exists outside of America I really can't comment on his movies. I have no idea of what to expect.

Kristopowitz: The Brown character has appeared a few times on Perry's TBS sitcom "House of Payne" and each time he's been annoying. I assume that's the point of the character. To be annoying. I'm sure, though, Perry knows what he's doing. We'll see.

Webb: I read an interview with Tyler Perry where he said he could do the type of films Martin Scorsese does if given the chance. I have nothing against Perry, but until he makes a movie that can appeal to everyone, and not just one specific audience, he will continue on the path he is now. This latest release seems like more of the same from him.

March 28th





21
Director: Robert Luketic
Stars: Kate Bosworth, Laurence Fishburne, Kevin Spacey
The Plot: Based on actual events, six MIT students are trained by one of their professors (Spacey) in the art of card counting, and subsequently take a handful of Vegas casinos for millions.

Jerome Cusson: This would seem to be me to work better if poker was the game instead of blackjack. I know there has been a lot of poker done in movies and broadcast on television, but since it is based off a true story, I guess it's blackjack. This could be good with Kevin Spacey and Laurence Fishburne involved.

Brimfield: Certainly sounds intriguing, but I bet it'll make card counting the next big pop culture fad and thus become universally reviled.

Scotty Flamingo: The true story behind this is cool, but it'll probably be all slicked up Hollywood style and lose anything that made it interesting.

Arnold Furious: Oh, here's a movie I might actually watch. Kevin Spacey and Laurence Fishburne are both pretty reliable. Sounds like a fun concept. Because there's nothing else on at the cinema this month this could be the best bet for a trip out of the house. Otherwise it's rental time!

Kristopowitz: I've seen the preview for this movie like five times now, and each time I've seen it I've wanted to burn the theatre down. This movie looks awful. Just awful. I give less than a crap about a bunch of hip and edgy douchebag brainiac college students hanging out with Kevin Spacey in Vegas and getting their butts kicked by a very fat Laurence Fishburne. Please excuse me if I don't foam my pants. And because of the trailer to this movie, I think I hate The Doors now.

Webb: I generally like poker/gambling films, and this one should be enjoyable, but the young cast also tells me it could bomb. It is based on a true story, but I need more than that to get excited. This genre has been played out, so 21 will need to be pretty damn good to turn heads.





Run, Fatboy, Run
Director: David Schwimmer
Stars: Simon Pegg, Thandie Newton, Hank Azaria
The Plot: Some ten years after he left his fiancée (Newton) at the altar, the rather corpulent Dennis (Pegg) preps for a real-life marathon with real-life romantic consequences hanging in the balance.

Jerome Cusson: This has a lot of potential involved. Pegg is a great performer. Schwimmer is a comedy veteran. The knock against him would be his ability to direct a feature length film. But hey, Rob Reiner and Ron Howard had even less experience in directing before directing their first features so I'll give him a chance.

Brimfield: Having already seen this thanks to an early British release, it's a decent if not outstanding comedy with surprisingly deft direction from Schwimmer.

Scotty Flamingo: I like Pegg, but Hank Azaria + David Schwimmer = BOX OFFICE POISON

Arnold Furious: Don't get me wrong here…I'm a big Simon Pegg fan. But I find when he isn't writing his own dialogue and isn't in charge of his own direction within a film/TV show its just not as good. Spaced was tremendous but he basically invented the concept for that and got Edgar Wright in to direct. Same with Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. I'd rather he just continued to see his projects through from writing to acting. The concept of this film is ridiculous because who in their right mind would believe an overweight Simon Pegg would leave Thandie Newton at the altar, and because of that I struggle with the concept from the get go. Plus I've never liked David Schwimmer. Although I'd rather he directed because then I don't have to listen to him talking. Is anyone else really glad there's no more Friends? Because no more Friends means no more Ross.

Kristopowitz: I don't know about this movie. I mean, it looks pretty decent, and Simon Pegg has been a hoot as of late, but I just get the feeling that this is going to be a huge letdown. I can't really explain why, though.

Webb: This film has been illegally online now for months. I am still anxious to see it though. I have a feeling Schwimmer will be a better director than he is an actor. Simon Pegg is always hilarious, but is he enough to carry this? We shall see.





Stop-Loss
Director: Kimberly Peirce
Stars: Ryan Phillippe, Abbie Cornish, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
The Plot: Back home in Texas after fighting in Iraq, a soldier (Phillippe) refuses to return to battle despite the government mandate requiring him to do so.

Jerome Cusson: While this could be good, I have a feeling that I'd walk out pissed off after seeing this story. If nothing else, at least this issue is going to be addressed at last.

Brimfield: POLITICAL~! And thus more likely to be bad than good, but I'm certainly willing to give it a chance. Phillippe is an underrated actor.

Scotty Flamingo: Another movie about Iraq. Another box office bomb. When are the studios gonna learn?

Arnold Furious: Joseph Gordon-Levitt has really been coming along nicely of late but being in Ryan Phillippe's shadow won't do him any favors. Phillippe struggles to deal with grown up concepts and that won't help him here. He was probably the worst part of Crash though and it won an Oscar. Of course he was part of an ensemble cast then…

Kristopowitz: This flick sounds like it has an interesting story, and I'm sure it will highlight some serious issues in regards to the Iraq invasion, etc, but I have absolutely no confidence in Ryan Phillippe, so I don't see how this could possibly be any good.

Webb: You have this great cast with Ryan Phillippe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but then the plot is about Iraq, and your heart sinks since most of those offerings have been either preachy, convoluted, or have bombed at the box office. I really hope this is decent, but the premise and the inclusion of friggin' Channing Tatum worries me.





Superhero Movie
Director: Craig Mazin
Stars: Drake Bell, Leslie Nielsen, Sara Paxton
The Plot: A freak accident turns a bumbling young guy (Bell) into the still-clumsy superhero known as Dragonfly.

Jerome Cusson Haven't heard much about this film either, so the only thing I'll say is this looks really awful based off the trailer. The parody genre needs to be pronounced dead once and for all.

Brimfield: That this movie even exists leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Scotty Flamingo: I'd like to say this will bomb. Unfortunately, we live in a country where Meet The Spartans was #1 at the box office. I really despise the parody genre and blame the Wayans brothers for the modern trend with the Scary Movie series.

Arnold Furious: I give up. Go and watch this piece of shit. You know you will anyway. Written by one of the guys behind Scary Movie 3 & 4. There are too many of those. This is yet another early contender for worst movie of the year. I'm calling it right now. On the upside at least it's not written by the same guys who made Date Movie and Meet the Spartans. On the downside, there are now two groups making these movies. So twice as many shitty parodies. Of course it'll make $100M and this guy, Craig Mazin, will be laughing all the way to the bank and there will probably be 3 or 4 sequels. It's enough to make you chew your own foot off.

Kristopowitz: The movie spoof genre is still raking in the cash (look at "Meet the Spartans") but the movies themselves have been terrible. At least Leslie Nielson is in this one. He's always good for a few laughs. I bet he'll end up having the best scenes in the movie.

Webb: I have nothing more to say about these.

Thanks for reading. Stay tuned next month.
All movie poster images from IMDB.com