Babes, Bombs, and Blockbusters Movie News Report 04.01.08

Posted by Mike Gorman on 04.01.2008

April drops with movie news that will curl your toes! Chris O’Donnell is to play Robin one more time? Kathi Lee brought back to TV from the great beyond? Family Guy concedes victory to South Park? Check out the answers to these questions and more in this week’s 3Bs News Report featuring Jessica Simpson as the Hot Shot, some times on home brewing and a list of 80’s movie sequels Mike Gorman would love for you to see!



April is coming in like a lion with all the movie news coming your way! And who can believe Jessica Simpson has been nominated for a peace prize, what is Nobel thinking? This honor does earn her the Hot Shot this week too! Chase that with a homemade brew and a look at some much needed 80's sequels and you know you're smack dab in the middle of a hot mess!




The G Spot
The G Spot floweth over this week with more movie news than you can handle!

SAG joins with the Teamsters!
In an unprecedented move this week the SAG has decided that they will team up with the Teamsters to form a virtually undefeatable collective bargaining unit. One teamster insider was quoted saying, "It makes sense as these actors fit right in with our model of demanding more for doing less." Attempts to reach SAG representatives were unsuccessful as we were repeatedly told the president was on a union mandated lunch break.

Casting Coup!
The much anticipated Justice League film picked up some real momentum this week when it was announced that Chris O'Donnell will reprise his role as Robin in the soon to shoot flick. Industry insiders feel like this good news for this much maligned film. I suppose I should now apologize for all my complaining about a film I have yet to even see. To all of my critics, I am so sorry and I promise I will never, ever utter a bad word about this project.

The Bitch is back!
NBC aka "We of many lame game shows!" has made the brilliant decision to bring back the original big haired bad tempered dame of daytime TV as they announced this week that Kathi Lee Gifford will be co-hosting the clamored for fourth hour of the Today Show. She will join Hoda Kotb on the host couch as overworked Anne Curry will be dropping back down to News desk for the first two hours and co-host for the third. As the WWE's Raw is on an NBC owned channel I can only hope this means a lingerie match between Gifford and Kelly Ripa is in the planning stages.

The Cat is out of the bag…
The recent success of Whorton Hears A Who has finally pushed forward Mike Myers' script for a sequel to The Cat in the Hat. An early glimpse at a studio copy of the script has Myers' Cat saving the two kids left alone from an attack of Whoville zombies. Myers is planning all kinds of easter eggs a la Disney's Enchanted including a Cindy Lou Who zombie in the opening credits, prominent placement of green eggs and ham, and if Jim Carrey is available a Grinchy deus ex machina during the final reel. I think this sounds like one hot film and cannot wait to see the trailer when it is released with Iron Man.



No more Family Guy?
Apparently the recent slate of South Park episodes have been garnering enough ratings for Seth McFarlane to pack things up on the production of new Family Guy episodes for the spring. In an interview Saturday he mentioned that he felt it was best for his crew to focus on coming back strong in the fall instead of slapping together a few fart jokes and well timed zingers just to have spring episodes. Could this be true?

Madonna wants to what?
Grand Dame of the stage, Madonna has announced that she would love to remake Casablanca with herself in the lead role. Several people bristle at the thought of remaking what some consider to be the best film of all time but Madonna thinks she is up for the challenge. I mean sure the original lead actress was in her 20s and Madonna is in her 50s but that aside this seems like a great idea… not! Oh, did I mention that she also would like to update the setting perhaps considering the Iraq war. Well if she can do that then I am totally remaking Conan the Barbarian with myself in the lead!

Brad Pitt considers motherhood
In light of the recently announced "pregnant man," Angelina Jolie is asking Brad to do all he can to find out how they can get in on this deal. Jolie feels that if Brad could carry the kids then she could be freed up to begin work on several film projects on her to do list. Brad's only concern apparently is about regaining his six pack after the birth. Heck if any couple can pull this off I am sure these two can!

Unsubstantiated stories flood the net!
AKA…

Now for the real joke… Two of the stories above are completely true. Any guesses?? I hope you can figure them out. If not I will let you know at the end of the column.

Get out there and have some fun yourself today! The rest of this column is on the up and up believe it or not!



The Trunk

I had to write about this next subject here because I am honestly torn. A most likely direct to DVD sequel to The Lost Boys is in production. Don't believe, check out this trailer:



Yes, it's true and according to recent reports both of the "Coreys," Feldman and Haim, will be back. I am quite possibly one of the biggest fans the original movie ever had and for a long time I really wanted them to do a sequel. Twenty years later is the time to revive this franchise according to the producers but what will the fan's think? I am holding out for at least a few fun moments, some good old vampire gore, and some classic Frog brothers quips. Exploring my feelings about the sequel however has unearthed a new Top Ten List for you. Here I have gathered a list of ten more 80's films that deserve to get the sequel treatment themselves.

(10) Red Dawn
This Cold War gem featured a crew of soon to be famous actors fighting the invading forces in the Midwest. The band of teen commandos almost made you want to see what would happen if you looked up from your desk at school one day and saw the sky full of parachuting communists. If this was WW III, one can only imagine what the next generation of "Wolverines" could face in WW IV. Two or three of the original characters survived so there is a chance that their kids could be itching for some action!

(9) Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
How can you not make a sequel to a movie named after a Cyndi Lauper hit from the 80s? This movie starred a very young Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt as best friends trying to get on a local dance show. Think watered down Hairspray and you're close. SJP and Helen are all grown up now and maybe they have lost touch with their inner "fun." Toss in an aging Cyndi Lauper as the magical fairy sent to help them find their bliss and "Time After Time" could be a great hit… as a Lifetime Saturday Movie.

(8) Krull
I gotta be honest, I have no memory of the actual plot of this film. All I remember is the badass spinning blade weapon and I want to see it on the big screen again! You know what I am talking about!

(7) Legend of Billie Jean
Helen Slater was fierce and hot in this little known film. In the original she and her brother were being accused of theft by some bad folk who beat up her brother and attempted worse with Slater. Soon they were on the run gathering allies and shouting "Fair is Fair." You knew Billie Jean was not connected to Michael Jackson and meant business when she shaved off her long blonde hair in definance of those who meant to destroy her. If that spirit and feeling could be recaptured now this has the makings of a great contemporary drama.

(6) The Last Starfighter
This movie was about a video game machine being accidentally dropped off at a trailer park in California. Turns out the video game is a training course and recruitment tool for an intergalactic army hoping to discover more talented "Starfighters." When I saw this as a kid I hoped every weird game I played in the arcade would lead to a similar space adventure. Sadly this did not happen for me but with the prevalence of the Xbox 360 and PS3's these days this story is ripe for the retelling. Imagine getting recruited to fight in space because you beat Halo 3 on difficult!



(5) Adventures in Babysitting
Hot babysitters aside this movie featured a comic book loving little girl who was obsessed with Thor who finally gets to meet him, or does she, during their wild night trapped in the city. Imagine her grown up and babysitting neighborhood kids herself now. One emergency later and she could need Thor's help! Hide a well written comic book movie inside a supposed comedy. I think it could work!

(4) Sixteen Candles
I think Molly Ringwald is due for a real comeback and a sequel to one of her best performances could be the winning ticket she needs. Last time around her family forgot her 16th birthday, why not her 30th in a sequel? I am also dying to see what happened between Long Duck Dong and that gym teacher-esque girl he ended up with by the film's conclusion!

(3) Tron
The original Tron was ahead of its time in its presentation and theme. The first cyberspace warriors deserve a chance at a sequel in our tech filled time. There has long been talk of a sequel or remake of this film but nothing seems completely set yet. A search of IMDB shows a film with the same name with a rumored release of 2010 but that is all. I can only imagine with the neon cars that make walls would be like in a new film!

(2) Driving Miss Daisy Bitch
Again, I would not really want to revisit this film but I did think of a nice updated tag for the sequel so I had to share it with you. It is, "Driving Miss Daisy II: Bitch Gets Her License!"

(1) Goonies
You know you agree with this one! The Goonies made all 80s geeks finally feel like was ok to be themselves and with the advent of bullying in the schools these days it seems their message needs spreading again. I think it is time for Chunk and Sloth to gather up the kids of the old gang for another raucous adventure. Set up a cross promotion with Baby Ruth and this one has hit written all over it!

Got a favorite flick that is crying out for a sequel? Tell me about it!



Beerwatch
It's easy to plant your ass in a bar stool and order up your favorite brew. Is that brew a real reflection of yourself and your tastes? Probably not, you'd have to make your own for that happen but isn't it too hard? It seems like it is not that hard at all to start brewing your own beer and once you get the hang of it you can make all the varieties you like. The following websites can help you get started:

(1) http://www.howtobrew.com/
A great place to get your basic questions answered and find out what you should be brewing at home.

(2) http://www.beer-brewing-advice.com
Another good advice site that also features a ton of general beer knowledge in general.

(3) http://byo.com/
Official site of "Brew" magazine which is dedicated to the fine art of home brewing.

"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
- Benjamin Franklin




Tuesday Hot Shot
Ok, so Jessica's Nobel Prize nomination was another April Fool's Joke but I am sure you figured that out! Her latest news was a quick trip to the hospital for some slight discomfort. Either way, she did look good!





Come back next week for some straight shooting in the news department and another Hot Shot chosen just for you!

(All information and gossip gathered from Aintitcoolnews.com, Hollywoodreporter.com, Hollywood.com, Reuters.com, Dirtyjokesinc.com, Variety.com, TMZ.com)