Two Tivos To Paradise 4.11.08: TV News That's Never in the Bottom Three

Posted by Al Norton on 04.11.2008

Project Runway jumps to Lifetime, are the Desperate Housewives ready for a time machine?, Pamela Anderson gets her own reality show, HBO pushes all their shows back, rumors of Jericho's return, raves for Step It Up and Dance & Rock the Cradle, American Idol thoughts, TONS of news and notes, the TV Pick of the Week and more, all in Al Norton's Two Tivos To Paradise!

Hello Friends. I am still recovering from being in attendance for Opening Day at Fenway this week, including the World Series ring ceremony and Bill Buckner getting one of the longest (and loudest) standing ovations I have ever seen any individual receive. I even got a little sunburn!!! This weekend's series with the Yankees promises to be much fun and I will be there on Friday and Sunday, which means I will be up late on Saturday clearing out the "now playing" folder on my Tivos.

You know when you hear a new song and you end up listening to it over and over again? Northern Downpour from the new Panic At The Disco CD is it for me right now. The album is solid if a little too obvious with it's echoes of The Beatles but the song is phenomenal.

Anyplace is better, starting from zero got nothing to news.

All Of The Ladies Attending The Ball Are Requested To Gaze In The Faces
The biggest TV story of the week came on Tuesday when The Weinstein Co. signed a five year deal to move Project Runway to Lifetime starting with season 6 this November. NBC Universal, parent company of the hit reality show's previous home Bravo, has filed suit with the New York Supreme Court, claiming that they had the right of first refusal on any deal. The original contract ran out last February and negotiations had continued since, although both sides have said the show would not have continued on Bravo, switching either to USA or NBC itself. The series has been nominated for a Best Reality Show Emmy the last three years and just last week was named a recipient of the prestigious Peabody Award.

This would be a huge "get" for Lifetime, pulling in not only a hit show but one that generates a large amount of buzz; I can't tell you how many people I know who claim to not watch reality TV but make an exception for PR. The network has made huge strides in the last year and a half and having an anchor like Runway to build around could help them get to the next level ahead of schedule. Lawsuits like this never seem to work out well so the most I expect is for NBC Universal to get some cash and then move on to find their next big thing.

What makes the situation even more interesting is that there even if the show does make the jump for season six in the fall, there is still a season five that is set to air on Bravo this summer. How much effort will the network put in to hyping a show that is switching networks? Obviously they won't want to cut off their nose to spite their face but I don't know that they will continue with the same marketing budget, either.

Hey, I made it through an entire Project Runway piece without making one "hot tranny mess" joke!

Fly Like An Eagle, Let My Spirit Carry Me
TV Guide broke the story this week that Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry was considering closing the season with major, series changing twist. The biggest rumor was that the show would make a five year jump in their time line and pick up from that point next fall, although if that would be a leap forward or back was not clear. Series star Eva Longoria told Extra, "Marc Cherry says that he has something special in store."

What hath One Tree Hill wrought? This strikes me as a really odd idea, especially since a jump backwards would eliminate several main characters, including Mike and Orson, let alone make it tough for the actors portraying the kids of the leads. On the plus side it would allow the audience to see Mary Alice as a full time character, plus bring back her husband Mark and Bree's dead husband Rex. You know what, I may have just talked myself into this back jump. The logistics of it would be tough; is it five years from the first episode of the show, and would the goal be to end the series as a whole when they finally caught up?

While I think the TV viewing audience is smart enough to appreciate breaks from traditional storytelling – witness shows like Lost, 24, and even the aforementioned One Tree Hill – but I also wonder if a show like DH making the jump is simply lazy storytelling, a set of writers who can't continue to come up with new plot lines for the characters who resort to a stunt to keep things fresh.

I Ain't Gonna Be Just A Face In The Crowd, You're Gonna Hear My Voice When I Shout It Out Loud
E! confirmed plans this week for a new summer reality series focusing on the day-to-day professional life of Pamela Anderson. Late last year word leaked out that Anderson was planning a show that included her family but those plans met with some bad publicity and everyone involved denied the rumors. Pamela will have the look and feel of a documentary.

When I first wrote about this proposed series last year I got a couple of emails saying I was too harsh in my comments about Ms. Anderson, so I will avoid any cheap jokes as I wonder why it is anyone would have any interest in her life. What is it that she does? To be honest, the only thing that would strike me as worth watching would be seeing her as a Mom as it would at least be a side of her we haven't seen before…Must resist punch line…I am not in any way suggesting she subject her kids to that, just that I would be curious to know what it's like to go through life with a major sex symbol and gossip pages regular as a parent, and how she deals with the issues her celebrity causes her family.

I am guessing she thinks a documentary feel will make her seem serious and important, but there's a very slim chance of that; you can take the girl out of the sex tape but you can't take the sex tape out of the girl.

You Take It On Faith, You Take It To The Heart
HBO announced this week that new episodes of all its original returning series would not air until fall, with the blame being put on the WGA strike. This means that Entourage, Big Love, Flight of the Conchords, and Alan Ball's new vampire series True Blood will be going head-to-head with network's fall seasons when they return. As a way to salvage the summer they moved up the premiere of Generation Kill, a mini-series about the Iraq war from David Simon and Ed Burns, the team that brought you The Wire.

Well that sucks. I was very much looking forward to Big Love this summer, especially considering how strong last year's season two was. And I am also worried they would push True Blood, the new series I am most looking forward to, back even further so it doesn't get lost in the shuffle. As mentioned above, the problem with September and October is all the networks are launching their new seasons, and then November is sweeps, where they pull out all the stops for big ratings. Let's hope the new execs at HBO have a solid plan for the roll out as being off the air for this long (over a year in the case of Big Love) means they will have to win fans interest back.

If Your Heart Is In Your Dreams, No Request Is Too Extreme
Multiple Battlestar Galactica tidbits this week that I thought I would fold together into one headline, including the great news that ratings for last Friday's season four premiere were quite strong. 2.1 million tuned in, a 19% increase from it's season 3.5 debut in January of 2007 in terms of total audience but also in terms of demos. Not only was it the number one show on cable in the 25-54 demo but it set a series high for female viewers. In other BSG news, Tricia Helfer has been signed to a one year development deal by Fox, which has plans to build a new drama series around her. Also, Grace Park has been cast in the upcoming A & E series, Cleaner, which stars Benjamin Bratt.

SCI FI was hyping the crap out of it so I am glad it paid off in the ratings, especially the part with the female viewers - let's disprove as many stereotypes as possible! Helfer is an extremely talented actress (I totally buy the multiple versions of #6 as different people) and I hope that Fox comes up with something good for her. I am not sure if Park is playing Bratt's wife in the new A & E series but I do know the two of them could probably produce a superior race of ridiculously hot children. Not that I think kids are hot. How do I get out this?

I know I usually talk about such things in the section below but how great was that premiere? I love the Baltar-as-Jesus story and the way James Callis can go from humor (his "right" as he looked around the shroud to him) to genuine emotion as he prayed to God to take him instead of the sick child. I read one theory on the internet that he and # 6 will be Adam and Eve when they get to earth, and while I don't really buy into it, I thought it was a interesting concept. No idea what to make of Starbuck's return just yet but enjoyed the twist about the ship not having a scratch. Can't wait for tonight's new episode!

And With Your Hair Combed Right And Your Pants Fit Tight, It's Gonna Be All Right
Season 7 of American Idol is actually season one when it comes to my watching. All season long I will be providing a weekly diary of the action as well as covering any AI related news items. Tuesday night's 24 million was the lowest Tuesday audience since 2003, although still more than enough to thoroughly dominate the evening (and the week). Wednesday's Idol Gives Back telecast was down a whopping 34% with the 18-49 demos, although it's 17.6 million viewers were tops for the night.

TUESDAY
-You don't fully appreciate what Ryan Seacrest does until you see a tool like the front man for MTV's new Rock The Cradle. Ryan, I take back all the jokes, I swear.

-Hey, Paula brought the twins with her tonight!

-Michael Johns is trying to keep his momentum going with Dream On. It looks like the ascot is back, too. He was good but because they don't have time for a full version, the song lacked the build that makes it a classic.

-Syesha is doing a Fantasia song. Good idea to cover a former Idol contestant? Too obvious a choice for me...And I can admit when I'm wrong because she nailed it. I'm a sucker for a choir.

-Seriously, it will be an upset if Paula stays in her dress all night.

-Jason Castro is doing a cover of the incredibly overplayed version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow...I feel like I just lost Dr Green all over again...Jason just doesn't have the vocal range or strength to win this contest, although the judges are eating this up. Nothing special to me at all

-Kristy Lee Cook is doing a Martina McBride song but I can already tell you it's the wrong one. She should have done Independence Day and brought the house down but she is doing a bit of a wimpy song instead. She was pretty solid but nothing great.

-Really, any song gets 15% better with a choir.

-David Cook is taking a risk by doing a song no one has ever heard of. I think he sounds the way he wants to but it does nothing for me.

-Carly is doing Queen; does Michael Johns know? She's got some big girl make up on tonight but it doesn't help her with this bland tune. These are the songs that inspire these people?!?!

-The Archuleta Youth Movement is all about inspiration so he should really shine. Same issues, different week; does he have any idea what a line like, "she won't forsake me" really means? Everybody Loves David.

-Brooke has a different look tonight, a little less coffee house than usual. Her You've Got A Friend is nice. That's about all it is.

Wow, surprisingly weak set of performances. Bottom three? I am guessing Carly, Brooke, and Kristy.

WEDNESDAY
It's Idol Gives Back, a two and 1/2 hour special that hopes to raise $100 million for six very worthy charities while entertaining and enlightening over 30 million viewers at home. Clearly I am not going to anywhere near as much of a snarky bitch when it comes to the comments tonight, but let's get right to it anyway.

-The opening was WAY better than the usual group sing that starts the Results Episodes of Idol. Those dancers are pretty good, too. I knew Fox couldn't resist the self promotion - the dancers are from So You Think You Can Dance.

-Ben Stiller was funny! He actually is when he is writing his own stuff, we just need to get someone else to pick his movie scripts.

-Snoop Dogg is a Pirates fan? He and Charlie Wilson combine for an amazing performance.

-Band From TV was not bad at all, but where was House?!?!?

-The Jonas Brothers are the biggest group you have never heard of, unless you have a child between the ages of 10 - 15, in which case you are all too aware of just how close they are to world domination.

-The Miley Cyrus/Billy Crystal skit went on for way too long but her knowing him from Monsters Inc. was pretty funny.

-While I am not commenting on the videos other than to tell people to go to www.americanidol.com if they want to donate, I must ask why Fox choose to subtitle a woman speaking perfectly good English ?

-Also, I am not saying Bono is persuasive but he could probably talk me into donating money to the Republican Party.

-That's the best I've ever heard Fergie sound...but why not let John Legend sing, too?

-Is that Heart or did Carnie Wilson and Carrot Top team up? I guess this outfit ends the "Fergie is pregnant" rumors, huh?

-Holy crap, American Idol stamps?!??

-Is Eli Manning 12 years old? I feel even worse about the Super Bowl now.

-The Annie Lennox taped segment plus her INCREDIBLE performance gets me teared up for the first time tonight.

-Gloria Estefan? Really?

-You should go to Youtube to find Jimmy Kimmel's bit on Simon Cowell. I guarantee this is the most the word "nipples" has ever been used on a televised telethon.

-What is Sarah Silverman wearing?

-I know Miley Cyrus is huge but she gets to perform twice? And John Legend didn't even get to open his mouth?!?! Wait, was one Miley Cyrus and the other Hannah Montana?

Thursday
It's Thursday and we've got the elimination episode that usually runs on Wednesdays plus more of Idol Gives Back. Interesting to note that last night's ratings were down big time from last year, including a 34% drop in the key demographics. Of course the numbers were still good enough to dominate the night, and as of the start of tonight's episode they have raise over $60 million. Let's get to it...

-Hey, Simon actually owns a non-V neck sweater. And it seems to actually be the right size. Did Jimmy Kimmel strike a chord?

-It would be AI without a recap

-A gospel opening...Interesting choice but not a song that gets the audience up and moving...Jason Castro looks asleep

-It's Zack and Cody AKA the start of the parade of celebs not good enough t0 make the cut last night

-WOW, that lip syncing montage set to I'm A Believer was perhaps the early front runner for the Worst Three Minutes of Television Award, 2008 edition

-Jordan Sparks seems to be getting some amplification assistance during her vocal performance tonight. I will say Chis Brown lives up to every bit of the hype

-This week's Ford ad is actually not too bad but I will forever associate this song with Peter Krause in a white tuxedo

-Michael Johns gets the boot, which I did NOT see coming. All the contestants seem to have this look on their face, waiting for Ryan to say no one gets eliminated this week (which is what they did during Idol Gives Back last year) but that's not happening. Jason Castro is far and away the weakest singer left in the group, both in terms of range and power, and he needs to go home soon or run the risk of compromising the integrity of the show. Yes, I did just write that last part with a straight face.

That Breakup We Had Has Left Me Lonesome And Sad
Never let it be said that I don't listen to my readers; in response to a number of emails, I am listing below all of the April return dates for your favorite shows as well as how many new episodes there are of each. An * is next to any show that will be airing on a new night. The list is in order of return:

Sunday, 4/13
Desperate Housewives (6)

Monday, 4/14
Bones* (6)
Rules of Engagement (7)

Tuesday, 4/15
Law and Order: SVU (5)

Wednesday, 4/16
Back To You (4)
Till Death (5)

Thursday, 4/17
Smallville (5)

But You Were Up To Your Old Tricks In Chapters Four Five And Six
All you need to know about the Nielsen's for the last week…CSI returned to 20 million viewers, it's highest ratings since Sara left during November sweeps…Without A Trace was up a bit, too, with it's 15.4 million…Eli Stone's 20% drop does not bode well for a renewal…The same goes for Miss Guided's 22% slide…The one hour return of My Name Is Earl came in right about at the show's season average…19.5 million people watched Kansas win the NCAA Division 1 Men's Basketball Championship, losing by a smidge in the total audience battle to Dancing with the Stars (20 million) but dominating in the demos (7.3 mil to 4.8 mil)…Samantha Who?'s 11 million was a slight dip from it's previous average…Spike's Sunday night airing of Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith was the network's highest rated movie of all time…Hell's Kitchen dipped a tiny bit on Tuesday, pulling in 11.7 million and leaving Fox feeling quite confident in the future of the show…The Biggest Loser's 9.1 million was a 12% gain from last week and the best numbers since January…The Dancing with the Stars results show was watched by 16.5 million…Boston Legal returned with 10.2 million, just about average for this season, although it did win the Tuesday at 10 battle…NCIS returned to a season low 13.9 million, although to be fair it was up against AI for the first time, and 13.9 million is a pretty solid season low…Secret Talents of the Stars came in last in it's debut, with it's 4.6 million viewers representing less than the average crowd Jericho had been drawing in that time slot. See below for more details…

All The Young Dudes Carry The News
Industry News, Notes, and Hot Rumors…TV Guide.com is reporting that ABC is in talks to add one more hour of Lost for this season, which would bring the episode run to 14…CBS cancelled Secret Talents of the Stars after just one airing…The latest rumors on the upcoming spinoff of The Office have it based around Andy and the new workplace he would join. Everyone involved is denying that the new show will involve Dwight in anything other than a guest spot…Don't go counting your peanuts just yet Jericho fans but Monday's NY Times quoted sources as saying CBS had some preliminary discussions with Comcast about a deal for new episodes of Jericho similar to the NBC-Direct TV deal with Friday Night Lights…King of the Hill got renewed by Fox for a 13th season…Based on the success of the four adaptations that aired last year, Lifetime and best selling author Nora Roberts have signed a deal to develop six of her books, with four of those being turned into movies for the network…Rosie Perez and Matthew Lillard have joined Geena Davis in the cast of Exit 19, the CBS pilot about a single Mom who is a homicide detective…Look for Carrie Fisher, R2D2, Darth Vader, and Chewbacca to show up to help a big Star Wars fan try to win big on a two hour Deal or No Deal set to air on April 28th…Michelle Ryan has recovered from her Bionic Woman debacle enough to star in the BBC mini series Mr. Eleven…Elisha Cuthbert and Will Kemp have been cast as couple trying to make a New York-London romance work in the CBS pilot NY-LON, which had previously been a BBC series starring Rashida Jones…Chandra Wilson of Grey's Anatomy has been cast as the lead in the Hallmark Movie Accidental Friendship. It will be interesting to see her play someone other than Bailey…Cole Hauser and CCH Pounder have been cast in the CBS pilot The Tower, where newspaper reporters not only write about crimes but solve them, too…ER producers put the kibosh on rumors that they would spin off John Stamos' character to his own series…Stone Temple Pilots will reunite on the May 1st Jimmy Kimmel Live before heading out on a huge summer tour…Bobby Cannavale, best known as Will's boyfriend on Will and Grace, has been cast as the lead in Cupid, Rob Thomas' remaking of his own previous series. Jeremy Piven played the lead in the original…Not sure if you remember reading about The Singing Office in this space months ago but it's now a reality, and one hosted by Melanie Brown and Joey Fatone no less! They will go into offices and find the top five singers and dancers, training them to perform in front of a live audience. The show debuts on TLC later this spring…Mike Myers has been tapped to host the MTV Movie Awards this June…Darren Aronofsky is developing Riverview Towers, a psychological thriller series for AMC…TV legend James Burrows will direct the pilot for CBS' Single White Millionaire…JJ Abrams sci-fi Fox pilot Fringe took a big step closer to getting to air when they hired Lost writer/producer Jeff Pinkner as showrunner…

Turns Out Not Where But Who You're With That Really Matters
The top thing I watched since the last column went to press AKA The Best Of What's Around…Some people's versions of bad reality TV that double as guilty pleasures are the likes of VH-1's various …Of Love shows, which I find to be quite literally unwatchable, but this week gave me two new shows that were terrible but yet still wonderfully entertaining. Thursday night I caught the premiere of Bravo's new Step It Up and Dance, which pits real dancers against each other in a series of competitions designed to find the best in the bunch. Hosted by Elizabeth Berkley – who did a couple of Showgirls moves in the first five minutes!!! – it is incredibly cheesy, playing into just about every stereotype of dancers you can imagine, and yet everyone takes it so damn seriously that it's all unbelievably fun.

I also watched Rock The Cradle over the weekend and aside from wondering how MTV picked such a terrible host, I got into it. Crosby Loggins was my favorite, Dee Snyder's kid looked less like a rock star than someone a TV casting agent would hire to play a rock star, and words wouldn't do justice to Olivia Newton John's daughter (or Belinda Carlisle giving her a 10). Interestingly enough, the link between these two shows is Jamie King, who apparently is a big time choreographer and was a judge on each program.

Neither of these shows is particularly good but they do feature people trying very hard to make their dreams come true, and the fact that that's a little sad actually adds to the appeal.

People Say I'm Crazy Doing What I'm Doing. Well, They Give Me All Kinds Of Warnings To Save Me From Ruin
What's flashed before my eyes the last seven days…Sorry this is so small this week – Four and a half hours of Idol spread out over three nights really slow things down…Samantha Who? returned this week with a cute but not much more than that episode. I would love to see more of Christina Applegate at work as Samantha tries to re-learn how to do her job…The one hour return of My Name Is Earl was in no way disappointing, continuing the strong run of episodes from this incredibly underrated show…Christopher Walken's rather obvious cue card reading made this past week's Saturday Night Live that much funnier. The Grease sketch cracked me up ("flox flox flox") and the googley eyes on the plants defies description…Last night's 30 Rock was solid, and the MILF Island clips were frighteningly real…I really hope they pay Joel McHale per special as E! has a new The Soup Presents special every week along with the regular Friday night episodes. They have all been highly entertaining although I keep waiting for them to do The Soup Presents: The Best of The Emergency Broadcast System Tests. Heck, if they had Jewbacca and Mankini, I would watch it…I think the reason I was left so un-impressed by Boston Legal this week is that I have been watching the final season of The Practice on FX and it has been blowing me away, leaving BL to look pale in it's wake. I know I have mentioned this before but the Alan Shore of The Practice was a potential Hall of Fame character, and while clearly his friendship with Denny has mellowed him, he seems like a shell of his former self. That final season of The Practice featured one of the best murder trials in TV history, with Patrick Dempsey showing his range as Alan's childhood best friend accused of killing his mistress (if you don't believe the guy is a good actor, compare this with his McDreamy, which was just a year later, and see if you see even a trace of a resemblance) and a ton of major guest spots, including Jill Clayburgh, Ed Asner, and Betty White. For those of you who are interested, this Saturday and Sunday morning at 8 FX is showing the two episodes that introduced Denny Craine to the world and won William Shatner his first Emmy…Is there an actor who flies beneath the radar screen more than Medium's David Cubitt? The guy exudes cool and is quite easy on the eyes, too, yet somehow is nowhere near the star he should be. The scene from this week's episode when he realized he was on the elevator with the killer was exactly what I am talking about; very little dialogue but his facial expressions and that little smile said it all...Sadly, Martin and Emma had their restaurant closed this week on Last Restaurant Standing. I may start a letter writing campaign to get them their own show...

TV Pick Of The Week
The Deadliest Catch is without a doubt among the handful of best reality shows on TV right now, and may rank as high as # 2 (just behind FX's 30 Days), so it's return on Tuesday for a fourth season should be celebrated. There are no tricks of editing or manufactured situations here, just a group of people trying to make a living and stay alive. And in High Def! Discovery is running marathons of season two (Sunday) and three (Monday) to build up interest in the new batch of episodes. The line I quote people saying about Project Runway a few paragraphs above (how they don't watch reality TV but they do watch that one show) is also true for Catch, and it's done wonders for Discovery's overall viewership as well as lead the producers to sign a huge deal with NBC. Don't miss the two hour season premiere of The Deadliest Catch this Tuesday at 9 PM on Discovery.

Two Tivos To Paradise, Weekly Update
30 Days, 30 Rock, Aliens In America, American Idol, Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, Antique Roadshow, The Apprentice, Battlestar Galactica, Best Week Ever, Big Love, Bones, Boston Legal, Breaking Bad, Brothers And Sisters, Burn Notice, Chuck, The Closer, Criss Angel Mindfreak, Curb Your Enthusiasm, The Deadliest Catch, Desperate Housewives, Destination Truth, Dirty Sexy Money, Entourage, Eureka, Everybody Hates Chris, Flipping Out, Ghost Hunters, Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy, Heroes, The Hills, House, How I Met Your Mother, Jericho, Kid Nation, King Of Cars, Last Comic Standing, Law And Order, Law And Order: Criminal Intent, Law And Order: Special Victims Unit, Lost, Mad Men, Make Me A Supermodel, Medium, Miss Guided, Moonlight, My Name Is Earl, The New Adventures Of Old Christine, Next Food Network Star, Nip/Tuck, The Office, One Tree Hill. Project Runway, Pushing Daisies, Psych, Real Time With Bill Maher, The Real Hustle, Reaper, Rescue Me, The Riches, Rock the Cradle, Rules Of Engagement, Run's House, Samantha Who?, Saturday Night Live, Scrubs, Shark, Shear Genius, The Soup, Step It Up and Dance, Supernatural, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Top Chef, Top Design, Top This Party, Ugly Betty

People Love You When They Know You're Leaving Soon
Here ends another edition of Two Tivos To Paradise. Look for news on Katie Couric's future in our next column as well as the major headlines of the last seven days of TV.

Have a great week, see you next Friday!

Feedback is encouraged at [e-mail] as well via the comments section below.

Sources for this week's column include Daily Variety, Entertainment Weekly, TV Guide, and Hollywood Reporter (plus the web sites for those publications) as well as Aintit.cool.com.