411 Fact or Fiction Movies 04.11.08: Week 121

Posted by Ben Piper on 04.11.2008

Will people tune in to watch a Pamela Anderson reality show? Is Matthew McConaughey a good choice to play Magnum, P.I.? Will Prom Night suck? 411's Brian Cramer and Ben Piper debate these and other topics in week 121 of Fact or Fiction: Movies!



Hello! Time for some hard hitting Fact or Fiction action. This week we've got new guy Brian Cramer stepping up to the plate. In the interest of full disclosure, before Brian became a member of the 411 staff, he was a previous winner of the Useless Trivia Question of the week contest. So yes, he is in possession of a valuable hand-written letter from me. Because of that, I'll be his opponent this week. Gotta take the newb down a notch.

1. You think a Beverly Hills 90210 spin-off/reboot is a bad idea.

Brian Cramer: Fiction - I grew up in the '90s and I love the '90s. However, I can't say I've ever actually sat down and watched 90210. That being said, I can't very well say, in good conscience, that it would be a bad idea. Teenage dramas always tend to thrive, albeit generally in mediocrity. They're usually good enough to pull in and sustain their key demographic but not good enough to break any new ground. Worst-case scenario, I'll change the channel but a few million others won't. Best-case scenario, I'll have another hour of television every week to rot my brain on. Bottom line - it'll make money and money makes the world go 'round.

Ben Piper: Fact- While I really don't wish to date myself in any way, the original 90210 debuted when I was in fact in high school. I watched the first few episodes way back when, and initially bought into the hype that this would be the one show that my own peer group would rally around and watch. But then, after a few weeks I quickly came to the conclusion that this TV show outright sucked, and was no longer worth my time. The only thing I can figure is the fact that Gossip Girl has become a modest hit on the CW, which is where this new show is being developed. They want a companion hit, so there you go. Will people tune in? Most likely just based upon the curiosity factor. Will it be any shade of good? I very seriously doubt it.

Score: 0 for 1

2. Matthew McConaughey is a good choice to play the big-screen incarnation of Magnum P.I.

Brian Cramer: Fiction - I'm not really a huge fan of Matthew McConaughey. In fact, I'm not really a fan of him at all. Nothing he's done has ever really caught my eye or impressed me enough to care. That's not to say that he's a bad actor, per-se. He's just...an actor. My slight bias aside, he just really doesn't fit the roll for Magnum. Quite frankly, he looks nothing like him and I don't really feel he could do Tom Selleck's portrayal of the character justice. Personally, my vote goes to Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Let him grow out his beard and he'd nail Magnum's personality to a tee. Jeffrey Dean Morgan FTW!

Ben Piper: Fiction- I have to echo the sentiments of my counterpart here. His arguments that "he doesn't look the part" have also crossed my mind as well. But then the last movie I watched that starred McConaughey was We Are Marshall. The one thing that dragged that movie down for me more than anything else was his performance in it. He spent all his screen time talking out of the side of his mouth and all the sentimental heartfelt moments he was meant to portray just came off as false and forced. While I don't personally have a wish list of who could pull of this role, I feel fairly certain that the naked bongo playing bohemian from Texas is a bad choice.

Score: 1 for 2

3. You're looking forward to the return of NBC's Thursday night lineup.

Brian Cramer: Fact - For one reason and one reason alone: Scrubs. Yes, that's right. After asking Ben not to tell anyone, I'll admit it myself. I don't like The Office - at all. I'm sure that puts me in the minority but that's life. It's brand of humor doesn't appeal to me and the handful of episodes I was able to sit through bored the ever-loving crap out of me. 30 Rock and My Name Is Earl also really aren't my thing but I'll take either of them over The Office any day of the week. I do, however, love me some Scrubs and I love it enough to make up for the rest of the lineup. It is the most consistently funny show on television today and it's a shame that it's caught up in a power struggle between NBC and ABC, but if it means we get an eighth season, then I'm all for it.

Ben Piper: Fact- To a certain point. My Name Is Earl is one of my favorite comedies on TV currently. For whatever reason it just fits my sensibilities. While I'm not a huge fan of The Office I do find myself enjoying it more often than not. Scrubs has began to get a bit long in the tooth, but I still mildly enjoy it. And for whatever reason, I just cannot get behind 30 Rock. I've sincerely tried, but I guess it's just not for me. ER? Stopped watching it the year after Clooney left, and have not gone back since. Besides, Lost comes back in a couple of weeks in the same timeslot.

Score: 2 for 3

Switch!!!

4. You fully expect Prom Night to egregiously suck.

Ben Piper: Fact- Okay, let's first all acknowledge the unwritten rule that remakes of older horror films pretty much all suck donkey balls, with a very few notable exceptions. I don't see this being one of them. I watched the original way back when I was a youngster, and to be completely honest the only thing I remember about it was the fact that it had Jamie Lee Curtis in it. And while I could perhaps be wrong, the premise of the original movie had nothing to do with a stalkerish teacher being the killer, unless I'm getting my movies mixed up. From what I've gathered, all they've done is cut and pasted the title and the situation and made up their own slant on it. While I hold it out in my heart that the producer's decided to remake this with the idea of bettering the original, I really don't expect that to happen, and as a result this will be just another forgettable throwaway movie that nobody will remember in five years. If they do, it will be to say that they can't believe that they spent good money to see it.

Brian Cramer: Fiction- I'm going to have to disagree with Mr. Piper on this one, if for only one reason. Scott Porter. Now maybe it's just blind faith or straight stupidity on my part, but I can't help thinking perhaps he'll pull some of his experience from Friday Night Lights into the movie, which may make it at least partially bearable. Also, I love me my horror movies and while I may be a bit biased when it comes to the genre, I have certainly seen much worse remakes than this one is looking to shape up to be (and Ben is, in fact, correct in that it's more a re-imagining than a remake – they just stole the title). Don't get me wrong – I won't be rushing out to the theatres to see this, as I don't really go see much of anything not called Harry Potter in theatres anymore but I'll definitely check it out when it comes out on DVD because while it may just be "generic horror movie #859,392,991", it might not. If I can have an open mind with a 90210 remake, I can certainly throw away 90 minutes to watch some good old fashioned slashing.

Score: 2 for 4

5. You'd tune in to watch a Pam Anderson reality TV show.

Ben Piper: Fiction- Pam, really. Here I had thought that you had finally found your niche by taking on the job as a magician's assistant in Vegas. You know, where you weren't the sole focus and your lack of talent wasn't necessarily a bad thing? But now, you're making yet another bid to get on my TV. Sorry, not buying into that piece of real estate. Your sole function as a celebrity was the fact that you had a hot body and a cute face... (to begin with) But now? You're just functioning as a blip on the trainwreck radar in comparison to the likes of Britney and Lindsay. Let's face it. Nowadays you're seen as the hangar in which trailer trash rockstars and wannabes temporarily house their "ships" before quickly jettisoning for a lower maintenance port, if you know what I mean. In other words, your fifteen minutes of fame are up until the next time Hefner throws you another paycheck to show your stuff that everyone has already seen countless times. Let it go. Ride off into the sunset quickly and quietly now.

Brian Cramer: Fiction- I can't even begin to touch that tear-jerking eulogy that Ben wrote on Pam's career. He hit every single one of those nails right on the head – in unison. First of all, as a general rule, I don't watch reality shows. Occasionally, something like Kid Nation will come along that will suck me in (yea – I went there – it was actually a good show) but those are extremely few and far between. In fact, the last reality show I can remember watching before that was Joe Schmo. But I digress. I just generally can't stand them. Secondly, I simply do not care about Pam Anderson. At all. I didn't care about her on Baywatch, I didn't care about her in Striperella (remember that?) and I didn't care about her Playboy pictorials or sex tapes. And being a full-blooded, heterosexual male, if I didn't care about those, her potential reality show means exactly jack and shit to me.

Score: 3 for 5

6. The ensemble cast of Street Kings has you wanting to see the movie.

Ben Piper: Fiction- Let's face it, Keanu has had his fair share of hit and misses. Factor into that the knowledge that he rubbed elbows with some true acting greats (Morgan Freeman springs to mind) in movies that didn't exactly set the world on fire? Don't get me wrong, Forest Whitaker instantly elevates anything that he's in, and the fact that Dr. House himself is on board, that in itself makes me sit up and take notice. But based upon everything else I've seen this just reeks of regurgitation. I watch the commercials and I already feel like I've seen this movie before, and most likely, done better. I hope I'm wrong on that, but I'm not holding my breath, either.

Brian Cramer: Fact- Again, I'm going to utilize my ability to disagree here. Oddly enough, the wording of that statement is the reason why because the cast is really the only reason I have any interest in seeing it. It doesn't necessarily look like a bad movie, but nothing about it makes me clamor to see it. Let's look at our starting lineup, though. We have Keanu Reeves doing what he does best – shooting shit. As long as he doesn't try to actually, you know – act, we should be all right. Forest Whitaker is Forest Whitaker. 'Nuff said. Hugh Laurie is Dr. *fucking* House. If you've ever watched House (and if you haven't, you and I are no longer friends), you should want to see this movie based on the fact that he's in it, alone. Chris Evans is half of the only reason Fantastic Four was watchable (along with Michael Chiklis). Hell, even Sucre from Prison Break has a role. I don't foresee this movie being anything epic. However, with the cast they have attached to it, I don't think they're going to be able to screw it up unless they try.

Final Score: 3 for 6

There you have it. Brian and I split the difference. Thanks to him for playing along.

Useless Trivia Question of the Week
Robert from Victorville, Ca. was last week's winner. He correctly identified which former SNL cast members have been nominated for an Oscar and the films for which they were. They are:

Dan Aykroyd, best supporting actor for Driving Miss Daisy. Joan Cusack, best supporting actress for both In and Out and Working Girl. Robert Downey Jr., best actor for Chaplin. Michael McKean, best original song for A Mighty Wind. Eddie Murphy, best supporting actor for Dreamgirls. Bill Murray, best actor for Lost In Translation and Randy Quaid, best supporting actor for The Last Detail.

Thanks to everyone who wrote in.

Rules: First person to answer correctly and provide their home address within the continental U.S> shall receive a hand-written letter from me. Previous winners are ineligible.

Question: Name the first feature length animated movie and all the titular characters thereof.

See you next time.
-BP