Mad Ramblings of a Movie Geek 04.30.08: A Tale of Two Starlets
Posted by Jordan Bruns on 04.30.2008
Ellen Page and Lindsay Lohan...
Welcome to another edition of Mad Ramblings of a Movie Geek! Hmmm… didn't I just post one of these? Well, I'm back to my regular day now, and I'd like to take some time to discuss two talented young actresses, both very different, but yet somehow they have both ended up in this column. One of them is a talented, up-and-coming young Canadian actress who has the potential to be the next "it girl" of Hollywood. The other is a burned-out party girl who can't stay out of the tabloids. They are joined here together for two reasons. One is because the fates desire it. The other is because I can think of no more movie remakes with Chuck Norris…
Outside of her role as Kitty Pride in X-Men:Last Stand, before Juno came out, few knew of the existence of the immensely talented Ellen Page. That is unless, they saw her in Hard Candy, where she played a 14-year-old girl who turns the tables on a would-be pedophile. And I'll tell you what, that mock castration scene was brutal, even if the sick bastard did deserve to be tortured psychologically, if not physically. A quick search on IMDB revealed that she has more than 20 credits under her belt, although it's easy to forgive someone who didn't see I Downloaded a Ghost.
It wasn't until she played a pregnant, smart ass 16-year-old that Hollywood, and the world, took notice of the 21-year-old beauty. She is currently starring in the just-released Smart People, in which she plays a college student opposite Dennis Quaid's professor. I haven't seen this one yet, but the reviews I've read said she plays a role similar to her one in Juno. However, if this is the case, since Smart People was filmed first, then she wasn't just copying that performance. Again, I haven't seen the flick, so I'm not going to give an assessment as to how good or bad a job she might have done.
Another pre-Juno project from Page is An American Crime, based on the true story of Indiana teenager Sylvia Likens, who died after years of torture and abuse from her foster mother. Page stars as Likens, and Catherine Keener plays the villainous foster mom. An American Crime premiered at Sundance in 2007, but was unable to find theatrical distribution, and as a result, it will premiere on Showtime (According to IMDB, it airs May 10). I have wanted to see this movie ever since I first read about it over a year ago. There's one thing that worries me, though. The last movie I watched about a starvation victim (Into The Wild) haunted me for a month.
Page is definitely a star on the rise. Judging from both Hard Candy and Juno, she seems to have a knack for portraying characters who are wise beyond their years, yet innocent and vulnerable at the same time. Only time will tell if her star continues to rise or simply crashes to the ground.
However, there is another young actress, also with a knack for playing precocious youngsters, who is currently clawing her way back from what could have been a disastrous downfall, and still could be…
Which brings me to…
Lindsay Lohan's acting career seems to have stalled. Well, not in the sense of she's not getting work, but more in the sense of her movies (Just My Luck, I Know Who Killed Me) keep sinking at the box office. And yet she's still making headlines for her wild antics, which are supposedly behind her now that she's completed her 19th stint in rehab. Sources close to her say she "still has the occasional drink," which is a euphemism for nothing has changed.
She doesn't seem to be a very popular figure in Hollywood, either. Both William H. Macy and Jane Fonda have said very negative things about her to the press, and Leonardo DiCaprio reportedly gave her the brush off at a nightclub. Who can forget Rupert Grint's recent comments about both her and Paris Hilton, I mean SuperSkank. Wow, I appear to have some deep-seated hatred for that spoiled little whore- this can't be healthy…
…I digress…
According to reports, Lohan may or may not be starring in The Manson Girls as a follower of Charles, not Marilyn. Personally I think she's at her best when she takes on more challenging roles. I enjoyed her performances in Bobby, A Prairie Home Companion, and Georgia Rule. And I absolutely cannot wait for Chapter 27!
But, like many others, I first took notice of Lindsay in The Parent Trap. Who couldn't love an adorable, auburn-haired, freckle-faced 11-year-old who meets her long lost twin sister and hatches a plan to reunite their long-divorced parents? I realize they made this movie once before, and nothing against Hayley Mills, but to me she'll always be Zack Morris's 8th grade history teacher. Plus, I could never get past that tomboy haircut she sported in the original.
After The Parent Trap, Lohan did very little acting until 2003's Freaky Friday remake. Then came Mean Girls, then came superstardom. Then came booze and drugs and weight loss and troubles with the law… and, of course, rehab… and…rehab… and then… rehab. Seriously, she must have misunderstood what "12 steps" means. But she's looking healthier now, and, if she keeps her nose clean (pun very much intended) and stops spitting on the hand that feeds her, she just might have a long career head of her.
Part of the problem is Dina Lohan refuses to admit when her daughter has screwed up, always blaming outside factors instead. She must have taken the same parenting class as Lynne and Jamie Spears. We definitely don't need for Lindsay to turn into another Britney, nor do we need younger sister Ali to pull a Jamie Lynn and get knocked up at her tender age. Oh, my God! They have a reality show coming out called Living Lohan!!!??? I literally just found this out- it's all about Dina trying to launch Ali's singing and acting career. Sharon Osbourne, what have you done? Lindsay, get out while you can, before you shave your head and start speaking in a fake English accent!
Perhaps Ellen Page could teach her a thing or to. She seems to lead a very quiet life (quiet for a celebrity that is). Granted, she could have a dark side that nobody knows about, but she has yet to do anything to catch the attention of tabloids and Gossip Columnists. There you go, that's the solution. Put Ellen Page and Lindsay Lohan in a movie together. They could play sisters- AND- just for shits and giggles Lindsay could play the responsible older sister and Page can be the rebellious, boozing and whoring, angst-ridden younger sibling! Maybe some of Ellen Page's professionalism would rub off on Lindsay.
So, there you have it, folks. Ellen Page and Lindsay Lohan have almost nothing in common other than the fact that they're both attractive, talented young actresses. But, wait a minute, you say. Where's your thesis? Where's your argument? This whole thing seems confusing and disjointed. Can you tell it's the end of the semester- I'm imagining a middle-aged professor hunched over a desk scribbling red ink all over this puppy, giving me a big, fat "F." I'll leave you on that note.
