Babes, Bombs, and Blockbusters Movie News Report 5.13.08
Posted by Mike Gorman on 05.13.2008
An MTV star and Hollywood strike a deal, two actresses drop out but who has the best excuse, Stone’s Dubya film gets a release datem, and more, this week in the 3Bs News Report. Dig deeper and you will find a look at Mike Gorman’s picks for rising action stars and a belated joke for Mother’s Day.
Is Lindsey Lohan up to her old tricks or can we believe her publicists? And really, do we care? I am more intrigued by what lies ahead in upcoming release of the new Indiana Jones film. Indie is certainly an action icon but how many more of these films does Harrison Ford have in him? Only he can answer that so as for me, I decided this was a good week to look at who might rise to the top now that some of our past action icons need to retire their thrones. I am sure plenty of you will disagree with my picks so I can't wait to see what you think!
Let's not forget our Tuesday Hot Shot, Elisha Cuthbert. She's back in a new set of pictures selected just for this week's report.
The G Spot
The G Spot is your place for the day's movie news with the occasional cameo from the land of television.
The "Hills" have Cries!
Crying, tears, whatever you like to call your expression of fear and grief this newsbyte has it in spades. Apparently one of the whiney, empty eyed, reality "stars" from MTV's "The Hills," Audrina Patridge, has been cast in what sounds like the movie of the year. Into The Blue 2, an expertly penned sequel to the Jessica Alba clunker. Combining these two concepts seems like a bid steaming pile of you know what waiting to happen. Who wants to sleep out to get tickets?
W marks the spot..
Oliver Stone has secured a release date for his George W. Bush bio-pic in a deal with independent studio Lionsgate. The film is set to star Josh Brolin in the title role with James Cromwell set to play his father. Stone was able to secure the mid-October date (10/17/08) he wants for the films release. Just when I thought we were getting rid of Dubya in the fall, it appears his lingering presence will get a boost from this film. Yet it is being produced as an "indie" film and will probably target art house theaters and other more off the beaten path venues which are traditionally the place for films with a conservative slant; right?
Hollywood Drop Out #1
Natalie Portman has left the production of the big-screen adaptation of Wuthering Heights. Portman was set to headline this film but apparent scheduling conflicts with another role have forced her to drop out. Seems believable to me; is there any other news like this out there today?
Hollywood Drop Out #2
Lindsey Lohan has turned down a role in an upcoming film based on serial killer Charles Manson. Her people say that she has done it in order to take two other roles offered to her including a spot on ABC's "Ugly Betty." They also claim there is no truth to her being dropped from the film because other actors had problems working with her. Hmmm… I only have enough believability potion for one story. Whose should I choose? I'm going to go with my hunch and believe Natalie's. Call me crazy!
A Video Game Film worth watching out for?
Universal Studios has completed a deal with the creators of the video game, Bio-Shock. No big deal right? Now let's toss in the name of the man at the helm of the film, Gore Verbinski. The man who brought the Pirates of the Carribean trilogy to life will be directing. While I am not jumping up and down at this news I definitely think it raises this project's profile. Look what he did with a Disney ride; there be hope for a video game film after all.
The Trunk
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull will be in theaters soon and I cannot wait for some good old fashioned action. I do wonder if Harrison Ford still has that Indie fire in him or if he has passed his peak? It is not easy to see your favorite action heroes enter the "over the hill" category. This is why I am hoping this is not the case with the new Indiana Jones film (as it might have been with Die Hard IV?). Just in case it is, I thought this might be a good time to look at some current action stars who might be able to go this distance. Below are the five I think might have some staying power, enjoy…
(5) Jason Statham
Yes, Lock, Stock, and Barrel, one of his first films was released ten years ago, but I still see Statham as a rising star that gets brighter in each project he completes. Sure some of his films are just pure action with weak plot but damn they're fun to watch. They have even found a way for his adrenaline fueled character Chev Chelios from the fast paced romp Crank to come back. At times like these it can be fun to suspend your disbelief and just enjoy the ride.
(4) Freddy Rodriguez
Sure he has the familial connection in the genre working for him but you cannot deny he was bad ass in Planet Terror. His turn as "El Wray" was a highpoint of the film especially the scene where he runs up the wall and slashes the zombie in two with his twin blades. Later he gives his recent amputee girlfriend the gift of a machine gun leg! The moment could have been over the top camp but Rodriguez brought a truth to it. It seems he has more films in the pipeline that will only serve to raise his image in the world of action.
(3) Optimus Prime (and the Transformers)
I include this group because I saw so much potential in the first film that I can't believe they won't explode again in the next. Big ass robots throwing down is action any day in my book!
(2) Christian Bale
With the Dark Knight just weeks away from release, Bale is poised to present once again in my opinion the best Batman portrayal on film. If he can play powerful and stoic buried in that suit, I have faith in his ability to pull off the big action needed in one of his next role's, John Connor in Terminator IV. Where these current and future blockbusters will take him, only time will tell.
And lastly,
(1) Matt Damon
I know I will probably get slammed for this pick but I truly seem Damon as a budding action hero. The Bourne series almost came out of nowhere and when people saw them they were amazed at what Damon could pull off in terms of action scenes and fast paced work. Damon also has the acting chops that some big action stars lacked in the past. It is this versatility that I think will keep him at the top of the heap for some time to come.
Come Again?: Your Joke Source!
Ok, these are a bit punny but I good chuckle out of them:
(1) "Fish and Cat Story"
One spring day, a fish was swimming about a foot below the surface of a lake and saw a fly hovering just out of striking distance.
The fish said to itself, "If that fly comes six inches closer, I'll jump up and have myself a meal." Just then, a bear on the shore of the lake looked up and said to itself, " If that fly gets any closer to that fish, the fish will jump up, and I'll catch the fish and have myself a meal."
As luck would have it, a hunter saw what was happening. He thought to himself, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, and I'll shoot the bear."
Just then, a rat was standing behind the hunter saying to itself," If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will lean over to grab the fish, the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear, and I'll grab the sandwich from the back pocket of the hunter.
However, unbeknownst to the rat, a cat was observing everything and thinking, "If that fly moves closer to the fish, the fish will jump, the bear will grab the fish, the hunter will shoot the bear, the rat will grab the sandwich, and I'll snatch the rat."
At that very moment, the fly dropped a few inches, the fish grabbed the fly, the bear grabbed the fish, the hunter shot the bear, the rat grabbed the sandwich, the cat jumped, missed the rat and landed in the lake.
The moral of this story is:
If the fly drops six inches the pussy will get wet.
(2) Don't Lie to Mom
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
Lesson of the day...Don't Lie To Your Mother.
Tuesday Hot Shot
This week's Hot Shot is a thank you to the guy who helped me with the upgraded banner. She is his favorite Hollywood hottie and who can deny her beauty? Hope you enjoyed her AJ!
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(All information and gossip gathered from Aintitcoolnews.com, Hollywoodreporter.com, Hollywood.com, Reuters.com, Dirtyjokesinc.com, Variety.com, TMZ.com)
