The 411 Top 5 05.16.08: Week 113

Posted by Trevor Snyder on 05.16.2008

The Top 5 Fantasy Characters

"I am Prince Caspian!!"

Thanks to the recent onslaught of advertising for today's second installment in the cinematic Narnia franchise, I feel as if I've already heard actor Ben Barnes utter these words…oh, let's say 5497 times. And judging solely off of those few seconds from the trailer (as one should, right?), I have to admit that Barnes suddenly looks and sounds the part – perhaps he will turn out to be just the right choice to breath life into one of C.S. Lewis' most famous creations.

But, will he end up being one of the best fantasy character ever put to screen?

That one's a little tougher to judge, since he's up against some fairly strong competition. In fact, the field is so wide open, we're devoting an entire column to it, as this week we take a look at:

THE TOP 5 FANTASY CHARACTERS


Trevor Snyder

HONORABLE MENTION

Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) in Harry Potter - I've made it clear on several Top 5 occasions that I am not a Harry Potter fan. Sorry, it just doesn't grab me for a multitude of reasons. However, I am always willing to give credit where credit is due, and so I'll admit that there is one character that I have enjoyed in each of the four films I have seen (I missed Harry Potter & The Goblet of Fire): Severus Snape. Granted, this has mostly to due with the casting of Alan Rickman (I can't remember a Rickman character I didn't like), but there is something to the whole "is he or isn't he a villain" aspect that just works. And yes, I've already had the answer spoiled for me.

THE TOP 5

5. Captain Shakespeare (Robert Deniro) in Stardust

At this point in his career, Robert DeNiro doesn't have to to play a swishy, gay pirate in a comedic fantasy film. The fact that he's willing to, and that he would throw himself into it with such gusto, is one of the reasons that DeNiro will always be one of the coolest actors going, no matter how much crap he's been otherwise cranking out in recent years. Shakespeare is easily Stardust's funniest element – no small feat in such a whimsical, entertaining little gem of a (very underrated) film. Watching him act like a typical butch pirate captain around his apparently oblivious crew, only to put on a dress and dance while in his private quarters? Hilarious. Bonus points are awarded for the fact that he's actually a sky pirate, which turns out to be roughly 50% cooler than just a regular pirate.

4. Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in Conan the Barbarian

It takes Conan about 20 minutes to even say a single line of dialogue in the movie bearing his name as the title. And when he finally does talk, he delivers one of the coolest, most oft-quoted lines in movie history (if you don't know it, don't worry – Owain Brimfield has it covered in his list later). Conan barely says anything else for the entire remainder of the film, but he really doesn't have to. We're not watching to see Conan lead a philosophical discussion. We're watching to see Conan kick major ass, and that he does. And, in the process, he creates the image that all other loincloth wearing, muscle-head heroes of numerous Conan rip-offs would copy for years to come.

3. Jadis, the White Witch (Tilda Swinton) in Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe

When I think about it, I realize that fantasy is one of the few genres where the heroes are actually usually more interesting than the villains. I'm not sure if there's a good reason for this, but there are definitely exceptions. Take Narnia, for instance. I mean, I dig the film and all, but it feels a little weak on the hero side, doesn't it? We have the four bland children, and Jesus Lion…err, sorry, Aslan. But the movie really belongs to Swinton's White Witch. There's a great moment, when she first meets Edmund, where she asks him about his siblings and he makes a sarcastic remark regarding them. Swinton then gives the briefest of expressions, but in that split second you can see her forming her entire plan in her head, realizing how she can use this young boy's jealousy in her favor. If that's a little too cerebral for you, how about we just talk about when she rides into battle wearing the shaved-off mane of the supposedly slain Aslan? That's bad-ass. It's too bad she'll have a smaller role in today's sequel, since it was Jadis who breathed most of the life into the first Narnia movie.

2. Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) in The Princess Bride

If you haven't said, at least once in your life, "hello, my name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die…;" well, actually, I don't even have a repercussion for that. Because, let's face it – you've said it. Everyone has. Montoya is the ultimate representation of the quest for revenge, but unlike the typical brooding hero, Montoya is also fun. Try to think way back to the first time you saw The Princess Bride. Remember when Montoya takes the knife to the stomach, and for a moment you thought he was not going to get his long-awaited revenge? Remember how bad you felt for him? Then remember how excited you were when he rose up and overcame his wound? In perhaps the most touching fantasy film ever, Montoya gives us the moment that is its emotional high. Well-played.

1. Gollum (Andy Serkis) in Lord of the Rings

Ostensibly the story of Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, Gandalf and the other members of the Fellowship of the Ring, the Lord of the Rings trilogy still ends up belonging to Gollum, who is not only a fascinating character (easily the most entertaining example of split personalities to be put on film since Fight Club), but also represented a major breakthrough in CGI and virtual characters, to boot. How Andy Serkis was never nominated for an Oscar for this performance in beyond me, but oh well. His legacy is intact, anyway. In one of the greatest film franchises of all time (if not the greatest), he stands out and steals the show. How…(wait for it)…precious.



Jeremy Thomas

HONORABLE MENTIONS

The Lord of Darkness (Tim Curry) - Legend (1985) – I'm not afraid to say it…this Tom Cruise fantasy seriously rocks. And Tim Curry scared the shit out of me as the demonic Lord of Darkness. (Hey, I was nine.)

Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) - The Princess Bride (1987) - "Allo! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father...prepare to die!" If you don't love this character, you have no soul. End of story.

Etienne Navarre (Rutger Hauer) - LadyHawke (1985) - LadyHawke is one of my favorite fantasy films, and yet another example of why Michelle Pfieffer should stick to this genre--it's where her best work is. However, it's Hauer's Captain Navarre who was the epitome of "Oh My GOD COOL!" when this movie came out. Great movie, awesome character.

THE TOP 5

5. Jareth (David Bowie) - Labryinth (1986)

While the current decade was where the true Renaissance of sword-and-sorcery fantasy lies, I will always have reserve my deepest love for the 1980's epics. LadyHawke, Dragonslayer, Dark Crystal, Legend, Clash of the Titans…all films I could watch a hundred times and never get tired of. Trust me, I have. The one that strikes up the most joy in me, though, is none other then the Jim Henson masterpiece Labryinth. I had SUCH a thing for Jennifer Connelly in this movie. (Well, and now, too, but that's not the point.) The true joy of this film, though, is Bowie's Goblin King. Bowie has such a fun time with the role, and it shows in every moment he's on screen. Jareth was damn cool at the time, and he holds up remarkably well even now.

4. Jadis the White Witch (Tilda Swinton) - The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (2005)

As you can see by my list here, I love fantasy villains over fantasy heroes. The villains are always, ALWAYS more interesting then the more vanilla, "everyman" heroes. Tilda Swinton has done a great job portraying fantastic villains, whether it's Gabriel in the massively-underrated Constantine, or here in particular with Jadis, the White Witch from Narnia. The White Witch was a character I was always very concerned might not translate well without the right casting, and luckily, they cast it beautifully. Swinton has an extraordinary grace and an ability to convey both charm and coldness, sometimes at the same time. Not often has a character been as perfectly cast as this.

3. Gandalf (Ian McKellan) - The Lord of the Rings Series

Oh, c'mon. You didn't think I was going to include at least ONE Rings character here? Let's face it, it's the penultimate fantasy franchise, and out of all the characters, Gandalf is the man. Legolas may be hot and elf-y for all the ladies, and Aragon may be rugged and manly…but Gandalf is the one who not only took down the Balrog, but came back even stronger. Gandalf would also own Obi-Wan in a matter of seconds. That's right, I said it. One of these two came back from the dead, the other just because a stupid glowy ghost.

…err, I mean…why no. I've never had this debate before. Why do you ask?

2. Captain Shakespeare (Robert DeNiro) - Stardust (2007)

The second best fantasy character in my book is also, by far, the best cross-dressing pirate of a flying ship EVER. Okay, maybe that's a narrow category, but still. To call me a huge Neil Gaiman fan is like saying that Prom Night could have been better: understatement of the year. This character was, like Jadis above, a character I was highly worried about translating onto screen. Even knowing that the talented DeNiro was playing him didn't help too much. As much as I love him, I didn't exactly see Captain Shakespeare when I look at DeNiro's resume of gangsters and cops. However, after seeing the film, I couldn't deny that he captured the role perfectly, and also that DeNiro is truly a man without fear in the risks and choices he'll take when playing characters. A lot of people won't like this character for being "too queer" or whatever, and to those people I say, bite me and get a grip. DeNiro as Captain Shakespeare is cinematic awesomeness.

1. Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) - Harry Potter Series

Oh Christ, he picked a Harry Potter character for number one! Start the hate!

Naah, I'm kidding. I'm not kidding with this choice, though. Alan Rickman is a brilliant, BRILLIANT actor, and I don't believe that, with the recent exception of Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man, there's ever been better casting then Rickman as Snape, the sneering, haughty, malicious Potions Master that is the constant thorn in Harry's side. Rickman embodies the role so perfectly that I literally am unable to view Snape any other way then as Rickman. A more perfect fantasy character, there has never been on film.



Owain J. Brimfield

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Hagrid (Robbie Coltrane) in the Harry Potter films - My friend Martypoo once sat next to Coltrane on a cruise ship. Apparently, the Robster showed him some dirty emails he had recently received. Glorious.

Shrek (Mike Myers) in the Shrek films - He's sufficiently iconic now that he's probably going to feature on all similar lists till kingdom come.

Vezzini (Wallace Shawn) in The Princess Bride - Surely it would be "inconceivable" to leave him out. Hahahaha! [dies]

THE TOP 5

5. Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) in the Conan films

"Conan, what is best in life?"

"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women".

The biggest treetrunk of a fantasy hero in movie history shares a certain ethos that pretty much sums up in its entirety the modus operandi of R-rated fantasy characters. Seriously, if there is a man alive who can't quote that at the drop of a hat, then I submit he is not a real man. Arnie rocks the loincloth/baby oil combo better than anyone.

4. Mad Madame Mim (Martha Wentworth) in The Sword in the Stone

I remember being ridiculously scared at the surreal and crazy Madame Mim who turns up about halfway through one of Disney's more underrated films. The whole sequence in which she appears, initially capturing our hero Arthur and then forcing his protector Merlin into a wizards' duel, is like some sort of horrible hallucination but the insane Mim leaves an indelible impression. Although watching the film now it's more like a bad LSD trip than anything genuinely scary, she's still a hugely memorable character for me, and when she turns herself into a dragon it's hard to keep from hiding behind the sofa.

3. Madmartigan (Val Kilmer) in Willow

One of fantasy film's best anti-heroes, Madmartigan steals the show from all the midgets dwarfs little people on display in Willow from the moment he appears hanging in a cage at a barren crossroads. Of course, despite his initial misgivings towards the good guys' cause, he reluctantly gets roped into helping Warwick Davis and cinema is gifted a hugely underrated fantasy adventure because of it. Kilmer has rarely been more appealing, even if the scene where he gets turned into a pig is utterly terrifying, and his healthy cynicism is a great counterpart to all the mad fantasy creatures playing off him.

2. Gollum (Andy Serkis) in The Lord of the Rings

Not just one of the best characters in fantasy cinema, but also one of the most important, as Gollum paved the way for full-blown CGI characters interacting with actors, and was also a star-making performance for Andy Serkis. But besides the technical achievement, and the fact that he's now one of the most-performed drunken impressions among students along with Yoda, he is a genuinely compelling character as well; schizophrenic, insecure, twisted and scared, he's a far cry from the faceless heroes and typical villains that tend to make up the majority of fantasy.

1. Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) in The Princess Bride

Not content with appearing as one of the lead characters in one of the best fantasy movies of our time, Inigo Montoya also goes on to claim the awards for "most memorable line of dialogue" and "best swordfight" while also providing Mandy Patinkin with the best role of his career. While he isn't a true "icon" in a sense, he's certainly a major cult favorite as one of the more honorable characters in fantasy cinema, and provides the film with its most compelling story arc. It's almost a shame Patinkin never had the chance to revisit the role.



Shawn S. Lealos

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) in The Princess Bride, and Duncan MacLeod (Adrian Paul) in Highlander

THE TOP 5

5. Jareth the Goblin King (David Bowie) in Labyrinth

Labyrinth is a product of the 80s. The music is heavy on synthesizer (and David Bowie songs), the acting is over the top and hammy and the story just feels a little strange today. While a man pining after the approval of a young girl may not pass muster today, it is the puppeteering that makes this movie spectacular and the best character in the film is the king of all the puppets. Jennifer Connelly, while she exudes all the cuteness you could ever want (for a sixteen year old girl), is still very stiff and unconvincing. That makes David Bowie's performance as Jareth the Goblin King even greater. After tiring of the stiff, wooden acting of Connelly, Bowie is a breath of fresh air, and as with all great bad guys, gets the best lines. Whether he is tiring of Connelly's crying that things aren't fair ("I wonder what your base of comparison is?") or torturing his goblin servants, he is the most flamboyantly evil character you could ever have the misfortune of meeting. Add to that, just like every perfect villain, he truly believes what he is doing it right ("I only do what you command"). And he does all this with a sock in his trousers.

4. Baron Munchausen (John Neville) in The Adventures of Baron Munchausen

In this Terry Gilliam film, we meet one of the most complex, and creative characters I have ever witnessed in a film. During a play about the life of Baron Munchausen, an old man walks onto the stage and demands that everyone stop this nonsense, because he is the real Baron Munchausen. No one believes him, so he tells the story of how the war that is taking place outside the city began. Only a young girl believes him and the two set out to find the Baron's loyal servants to help end the war. Along the way, they encounter giants, meet the goddess Venus and take a trip to the moon. Munchausen himself remains a mystery as he appears various ages throughout the journey, sometimes looking young and then becoming an old man again. He holds the entire story together and remains a supremely entertaining character throughout.

3. Angel (David Boreanaz) in Angel

The greatest fantasy show in the history of television is Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel is, in my eyes, even better. While some may not consider either of these shows to be "fantasy" per se, they fit the style in the same way this weekend's Narnia sequel does. In Narnia, the kids start out in the real world as well, but then are transported into a world of high fantasy and wonder. Angel also bounces through genres in the same way, which many flashbacks into Angel and Spike's past prove. With wizards and monsters and damsels in distress, Angel is a great example of neo-fantasy, more of a follower of Highlander than of its parent show Buffy. Angel is one of the greatest characters to come out of a show filled with fantastic characters. He is a hero who was also once one of the most brutal murderers in history. Angel is a less than perfect hero with a tortured soul. He is one of the best characters ever created for network television. If people want to argue against the fantasy elements of the show, I present you with episodes 20 through 22 in the second season, where the Angel Investigation team is sucked into Lorne's home world of Pylea – pure, unadulterated fantasy.

2. Gollum / Smeagol (Andy Serkis) in Lord of the Rings trilogy

There are a number of great, heroic characters in the Lord of the Rings trilogy: Boromir, Saruman, Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli. However, the best character in the entire trilogy is a CGI character portrayed by Andy Serkis. The way the characters of Gollum and Smeagol interact with each other is amazing. One of the more chilling scenes in the any of the films is when the character was arguing with his alter ego about what to do about The Ring. Watching the character carry on an argument with himself, changing personalities on a dime, made that character feel more dangerous than even the great Saruman himself. Between the motion captured performance of Serkis, the skillful directing by Peter Jackson and the awesome work by Weta, it is the greatest creation in a film series full of magnificent creations.

1. Ash Williams (Bruce Campbell) in Army of Darkness

Evil Dead and Evil Dead 2: Dead by Dawn are straight-up horror films. No doubt about it. On the other hand, when Ash is swept into the vortex and plopped right on his butt in medieval times, the franchise jumped right into the world of fantasy. Therefore, one of the best characters in B-level movie cinema becomes eligible for the title "Best Fantasy Character." He's not the bravest character yet is very egotistical. To be honest, he is much like Han Solo, except without the good looks, fighting skills and charisma. However, while he lacks those important "heroic" traits, he more than makes up for it in bravado and macho egotism. He can make you think he is a bad ass, and he's got the Boomstick to prove it. While much of his bravado can be attributed to an excessive sense of self worth and a jingoistic attitude towards those he considers his inferiors, he was still able to beat the bad guys, win over the girl and save the day. If I was a damsel in distress, Ash is the last person I would call to help me. If I wanted a drinking buddy to join me in making everyone else's life a living hell, Ash Williams would be the first person on my speed dial.



Bryan Kristopowitz

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Madmartigan (Val Kilmer) in Willow (1988): When I first saw Willow on cable (on HBO, as I remember) back in 1989/1990ish, I couldn't stand Kilmer's Madmartigan. At the time, he came off as more of a smart ass bully than a smart mouthed adventurer. But, as time passed and I watched Willow with "older" eyes, I came to appreciate Kilmer's acting and the fact that director Ron Howard would allow a character like Madmartigan into a fantasy movie like Willow. I enjoyed the fact that he was sort of "out there" compared to everyone else in the movie. And he could swing his sword like a pro. That's always cool.

Red Sonja (Brigitte Nielson) in Red Sonja (1985): This, of course, was back in the day when Brigitte was young and cute and not a drugged out super Amazon lesbian like she is now. Brigitte more than holds her own here against Ahnold Schwarzenegger and kung fu kiddie Ernie Reyes, Jr. (not to mention that fat guy with the bone club weapon). She's got the red hair, the sword, the attitude, and she doesn't want a man's help fighting the super evil lesbian queen villain played by Sandhal Bergman. What's not to like about that?

Skeletor (Frank Langella) in Masters of the Universe (1987): For me, Langella's performance by itself is just generally okay, but everything is enhanced by the Skeletor make up. I mean, it's a talking skull for the love of Drake. That's the kind of villain a fantasy hero like Dolph Lundgren's He-Man just has to face. It's too bad he didn't come back like he promised.

THE TOP 5

5. Deathstalker (J.T. Terlesky) in Deathstalker II: Dual of the Titans (1987)

All four of the Deathstalker movies are great, but, for me, part II ends up being the best of the series because of Terlesky's version of the Deathstalker. He's obviously playing the same character Rick Hill originated in the first flick, but Terlesky isn't a gigantic muscleman like Hill, which is a slightly different track than other Conan rip offs. It's like Terlesky is just a guy in a barbarian adventure situation and he's dealing with it the best way he can. Terlesky only played the character once, as the third flick went back to the Rick Hill mold, which is fine, yes, but just not the same as Terlesky's. Director Jim Wynorski can pull off these types of movies and characters when he's motivated enough.

4. Willow Ufgood (Warwick Davis) in Willow (1988)

Warwick Davis is just fabulous as the midget farmer and amateur sorcerer charged with protecting a baby that could put an end to the evil queen in charge. You just have to root for him because he's a little guy not quite adept at magic or weapons or anything. He has to rely on his wits and luck and maybe the help of people like Val Kilmer's bullying Madmartigan (who eventually comes around). He's sort of like the ultimate hero for a kid watching because Willow could be them.

3. Thundarr the Barbarian (voiced by Bob Ridgely) in Thundarr the Barbarian (1980-1982)

Probably the best animated barbarian adventure character that's also a tongue in cheek parody of every bit of ridiculous bombast from previous, dead serious barbarian adventurer characters. Thundaar, with main squeeze Princess Ariel and "Chewbaccaesque" Ookla the Mok, runs around the ruins of the far future fighting mutants, monsters, magicians, and mutant monster magicians. And let's not forget Thundarr's "fabulous sun sword," the weapon that allows Thundarr the beat back any and all bad guys. He'd probably wipe the floor with He-Man.

2. Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen) in Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)

McKellen is noble and majestic as the old and wise wizard that ends up fighting the incredibly evil Saruman, as played by Christopher Lee in the first flick. Gandalf ends up "dying" only to come back to take on the Barlog and become even more noble and majestic, but when he's just a really, really tall wizard sort of waiting for the inevitable evil plot to begin, he's just amazing.

1. Dar (Marc Singer) in The Beastmaster (1982)

Marc Singer is outstanding as Dar the Beastmaster. He's a sullen loner out for revenge against the evil, family and baby killing Rip Torn (master of the Kim Richards), and along for the ride is an eagle, two ferrets, and a panther that he can control with his mind (through the use of special telepathy, hence the Beastmaster name). He eventually meets up with uber hot Tonya Roberts and the John freaking Amos, and they help him take on Torn. This is easily Singer's best role, and while he did go on to play Dar twice more in a movie setting (I don't remember if he ever played Dar in the TV show, which I never watched), he couldn't recapture the ooh ah from the first movie. But then again those movies weren't "serious" movies. One was a parody, and one was a cheap TV movie. If only Don Coscarelli had taken the helm at least one more time. We could have had at least one more possible great Dar the Beastmaster performance.



Jason Chamberlain

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Vizzini (Wallace Shawn) in The Princess Bride - When it comes to fantasy movies, The Princess Bride is right at the top of my list, and it's been there since I was a little kid. Vizzini is just one of the many reasons why that is. Wallace Shawn is absolutely brilliant as the evil, scheming master mind who thinks he's a whole lot smarter than he really is. Lines like, "Unemployyyyed, in Greeeeenland!" and "Did I make it clear your job is at stake!" (not to mention the legendary and always inaccurate ‘Inconceivable!!!!') are repeated by yours truly ad nauseum every chance I get. From conception to performance, Vizzini is simply comedic brilliance.

Miracle Max (Billy Crystal) in The Princess Bride - Is it obvious yet that I love this movie? Why is Miracle Max so awesome? "True love is the greatest thing in the world! Except for a nice MLT. Mutton, lettuce and tomato when the mutton is nice and leeean. And the tomatoes, oh! They're so perky! I love it." Nuff said.

Legolas Greenleaf (Orlando Bloom) in The Lord of the Rings films - He should be on this list five times for his uber mount in Return of the King alone.

THE TOP 5

5. Severus Snape (Alan Rickman) in the Harry Potter films

Yes, I am a Harry Potter convert. I once lived the sad life of a Muggle, making fun of my mother and sister for their enjoyment of the boy wizard's adventures. Even with my intense love for the fantasy genre, I could not be persuaded to give Hogwart's a chance. Luckily for me, I was convinced to go check out Goblet of Fire in the theatre, and well, my Muggle days were over. A big reason for that is the awesomeness of Alan Rickman in the role of Slytherin headmaster Snape. What a douche bag! Well you know, I've always kind of found him endearing, even with his perpetually foul attitude. Now I haven't read all the books (though I have been spoiled to one dastardly deed of his in the sixth book that truly makes his intentions seem evil), but I just have this feeling that there's more to Snape than meets the eye! He's got ‘tragic hero' written all over him. Now I could be totally wrong on that and I'll avoid the comments section in case any of you who have read all seven books want to chime in, but I hold out hope that Snape may be a good guy yet. And if it wasn't for Rickman, I probably wouldn't care either way!

4. Aragorn (Viggo Mortensen) in The Lord of the Rings films

Truly, it's tough to pick a sole character from this masterpiece of a trilogy, but I go with the King of Gondor because he is just so friggin badass! The man mows through one impossible battle after another (Balin's Tomb, Amon Hen, Helm's Deep, Pellanor Fields, and on and on!) to seal his badass cred, he's a ranger (maybe the coolest profession ever!) and oh yeah, he's the King of Men! He's the guy who looks squarely down the barrel of a bloodline that plunged the world into darkness and says, well he doesn't say anything, he just kicks ass. Aragorn's the guy who steers the world back into peace and light centuries after his ancestor Isildur failed to man up and do it himself. He wins the war, he wins the girl, and he takes the crown. That's why he's the King!

3. Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) in The Pirates of the Carribean films

Doubt that these movies are fantasies? Undead pirates, Krakens, giant women, Davey f'ing Jones! I rest my case. And at the centre of it all is the brilliant Johnny Depp as Captain Jack, a pirate so adept at simply surviving that he can literally hop from one ship to another and somehow keep everyone on his side. He might be bat shit crazy, and maybe that's part of his appeal. But what I've always loved about Captain Jack is his moral compass, the one even he denies having. But it's clear in his actions that even though survival is his number one goal, he also picks the noble path when it isn't necessarily the smartest one, like when he returns to the Black Pearl to save his friends from the Kraken. I hope we haven't seen the last of this shifty, fast talking pirate!

2. Jack Burton (Kurt Russell) in Big Trouble In Little China

Here we have a blowhard, foul mouthed trucker who thinks he's God's gift to just about everything. And yet when he winds up knee deep in the mystical underworld of San Francisco's China Town, he's about as useless as they come. And yet he is so brave, and tries so hard, that we can forgive him every time he screws up and needs his fighting machine of a side kick, Wang Chi, to bail him out. Russell is simply money when he's in the right role, and though most would probably pick Snake Plissken as his finest hour, for me it's all about Burton rolling along in his Pork Chop Express and spouting advice into his CB. "When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favourite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues? You just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that. "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

1. Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin) in The Princess Bride

Clearly I'm not the only 411 staffer with serious love for this revenge fuelled Spaniard. Not surprising really. In a movie full of fantastic characters, Inigo rises above them all with his exceptional sword fighting skills coupled with his fiery passion for vengeance and almost unintentional humour. Obviously the main thrust of Inigo's character is his revenge quest, but it's small moments like "I wonder if they are using the same wind we are using?" and his rhyming game with Fezzik that put him at the top of this list. I've also always been fascinated by his undeniable sense of honour, as evidenced when he helps Westley reach the top of the Cliffs of Insanity and even gives him his magnificent sword to inspect, fully trusting that the man in black will not use it against him. He really is just working for Vizzini to pay the bills, and his destiny is far greater; to be the most memorable character in one of the most memorable movies of all time!

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Quick random plug, again: Like I said last week, I'd encourange anyone in my neck of the woods to check out the Motor City Comic Con in Novi, Michigan this weekend. I'm sure you'd be able to find plenty of people willing to debate some of the choices in this column there.

Next week, the top 5 celebrates the release of Indiana Jones & The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull How? Well, you'll just have to come back and see.