Ask 411 Movies for 5.19.08: This Column is the Thirst Mutilator!

Posted by Leonard Hayhurst on 05.19.2008

Brawndo, books that should be movies, one hit wonder actors, films that broke all the rules, Ishtar and I take over the world

I've got plugging to do today, so just bear with me.

This coming weekend for Memorial Day I'll be at Cinevent in Columbus, Ohio. Look for me with Creepy Classics in the dealer's area. It's a classic film convention focusing on the mid-fifties and on back. My friend Dan and I might also stop in at Marcon one of the days. The science fiction convention is also going on in Columbus at the same time.

In just a month during the weekend of June 20 you can also see me at the Monster Bash classic horror film convention outside of Butler, Pa. George Sirois, Will Helm and Chad Webb from the site will be there as well. Friday night around 1 a.m. I'll be hosting The Giant Gila Monster with the film's star Don Sullivan, if he's awake.

Go to Ligonier Radio and listen to their live stream. I don't have exact times, but several times a day in between the music you can hear me giving mini film reviews. Currently in rotation are Iron Man, Speed Racer and Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian.

A full review of Prince Caspian should be up this week on my blog at zanesvilletimesrecorder.com and coshoctontribune.com. It's hard to say when, because we're working out some kinks so the new blog entries will post on the main page of both sites when put up. I didn't see the first Chronicles of Narnia movie, but I liked this one ok. There were some great set pieces, but it was a bit slow in parts.

The podcast is a bit long this week as we discuss good and bad examples of television shows turned into movies. Chad and I also debate Speed Racer. Let's say he's more on the pro side of the movie than I am.

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From YouTube this week enjoy a commercial for the energy drink Brawndo, from the movie Idiocracy. You can actually buy the stuff and drink it, but I don't know if I would recommend that.



A couple people in the comments section didn't seem to understand what I was saying last week on Fight Club. What I was trying to say is that a lot of people who claim to love the film and champion it do so by not understanding the political and societal themes that it is exploring. That doesn't mean that everyone who likes the film is that way or that I myself don't understand these elements. One comment was that the blowing up the buildings at the end of the movie to erase credit records is a larger political theme. Yes, it is. What I said was that the political themes of the film are not recognized by many. I think you could ask a lot of people who claim to really like the movie why they blew up the buildings and I bet many couldn't tell you or wouldn't give the correct answer. In a nutshell, the movie and novel are about the loss of identity through consumerism and reclaiming that identity, specifically male masculinity, by returning to a primitive ideal that never existed in the first place. It's a satire.

Q: I seem to remember a movie called 'Ishtar' being considered one of the worst bombs on record
-Michael

A: Ishtar had a budget of $55 million and grossed under $13 million for a loss of $42 million. The Adventures of Pluto Nash mentioned last week had a budget of $100 million and grossed and bout $4.5 million for a loss of about $95 million. That's not factoring in worldwide grosses, home video and DVD sales, television airings and the like. Yet, even if you factor all that in neither got close to turning a profit.



Ishtar is a stupid comedy that is bad for the simple fact that it's painfully unfunny. Dustin Hoffman and Warren Beatty had been friends for years, but never made a movie together. They also both owed favors to writer/director Elaine May, former writing partner of Mike Nichols. May had concocted a script that lay somewhere between a homage and a spoof of the classic Bob Hope and Bing Crosby "Road" pictures. In the movie Beatty and Hoffman are two third rate singer/songwriters desperate for success. With nowhere else to turn, they take a gig at a hotel in the fictional Middle Eastern country of Ishtar. Upon their arrival, they become embroiled in a political plot involving the CIA and the sultanate of the small country. At $55 million, it was the most expensive comedy made at that time and the two stars pocketed the then unheard of sum of $5.5 million apiece (although several actors make $20 million a film these days). The shoot was plagued with production problems on location in Morocco due to insane heat and sandstorms. May is a perfectionist and word was that she ran the set like a prison camp and wouldn't film a shot until conditions were exactly what she wanted. In fact, Columbia pictures threatened to sue her if she didn't turn over the negative of the film to them after May spent months upon months trying to edit it the way she wanted it. The fatigue and stress certainly shows in the movie as all the actors are dull and lifeless and simply don't have it in them to carry the weak material. As Roger Ebert said in his review, it would have been more interesting to shell out a few more bucks for Beatty and Hoffman to have their own personal film crews so they could make documentaries of what they were going through trying to make the damn movie.

Q: Big fan of your column. Wish I had more questions to contribute. I came across this article on Digg and thought you would find it interesting. I have seen many of the movies on the list, but the ones I saw seemed pretty spot on (Star Wars V, Godfather, Reservior Dogs, Psycho, memento, Goodfellas). I would assume that you could add a few more films that you know of that 'Broke the Rules'

http://glipress.blogspot.com/2008/05/review-13-rule-breaking-films.html?pagewanted=all
-Mike

A: Thanks for the link. I was going to point that were films that came out before the ones he mentioned that broke the same rules, but that gets pointed out in the comments section. I'll add a couple.



Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966): The outdated Hays Code objected to language in the movie including "screw" and "hump the hostess." Warner Brothers said screw you to the code and was going to release the film anyway. This led to the Hays Code being shelved and the rating systems we know today being created.



Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967): The same year that interracial marriage was made legal in all fifty states this film was released. Not only did it feature one of the first interracial romantic couples shown on the screen, but it took two Hollywood legends in Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn and showed them not to be as liberal and freethinking as they thought. By doing that with these actors it also challenged the average citizen to question themselves on the matter.



Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice (1969): Four major Hollywood stars in Robert Culp, Natalie Wood, Elliot Gould and Dyann Cannon play swingers at a time when a lot of middle America still didn't know what the term met. It was the first movie to really deal with the new sexual morals of the era in a mainstream film with big name actors.



Kiss of the Spider Woman (1985): William Hurt and Raul Julia play two prisoners in a Brazilian jail. Julia's character is an effeminate homosexual and Hurt's is a statutory rapist who passes the time by telling Julia about his favorite movie, a Nazi propaganda film. That has to break some sort of rules.

Q: Few Questions for you:
I had heard that the fantasy series A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin was optioned by HBO. What is the status of this project?
What is the best book to movie adaptation in you opinion?
Worst?
Has there ever been a truly boring book that turned into a good movie?
What books do you think will make good movies if done right? Mine would be Frankenstein by Dean Koontz (The horrible T.V movie from which the books originated doesn't count), The Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King, and the Chronicles of Prydain (Disney cartoon was decent but I want a live action movie of the whole series similiar to Narnia).

Thanks
-Shaun

A: In January of 2007 it was announced that "A Song of Ice and Fire" would be adapted into a series for HBO with each season covering one of the books in the series. The series is to be written and produced by David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. Author Martin is slated to also produce and write some of the episodes. Last November it was stated that they had a script for a pilot in place and pre-production had begun. However, this was derailed by the writer's strike and there have been no recent updates.



Usually one of the greatest movies ever made is cited to be The Godfather. It was based on a novel by Mario Puzo, who also did the screenplay. However, according to producer Robert Evans in The Kid Stays in the Picture Puzo had the script first and Evans told him to write a book based off of it and get it published first because that would make it easier to sell the film. Puzo had been quoted as saying it was his least favorite novel of his own, but he also didn't like how people knocked it simply because it was a best seller and led directly to a hit movie. The film doesn't go as deep into character back stories as the book and the ending has Kay making peace with Michael's new position, which isn't how it plays out in the film.



The worst adaptation is usually cited to be Bonfire of the Vanities. The casting was horrible. You had the always likable Tom Hanks as the not likable Sherman McCoy, Bruce Willis plays news reporter Peter Fallow, who is English in the novel, Morgan Freeman is cast as a judge who was Jewish in the book and the usually voluptuous Kim Cattrall is a stick thin fitness freak as Sherman's wife. The movie is so bad that Julie Salamon wrote a book entitled "The Devil's Candy" about how bad it was.

Nothing is really coming to mind on a boring book that made a good movie. Probably, because I don't read boring books.

Books not turned into movies that might make good ones I've covered before, so I'll plagiarize myself on that one.

Roadkill by Kinky Friedman: Friedman is one of my favorite authors and his humorous detective novels would make a great film series, probably as a television series like the old mystery movie wheel shows. Best part is that Friedman can easily play himself. Elvis, Jesus and Coca-Cola and The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover are better books, but this one would have the most quirky mainstream appeal. Friedman becomes a bodyguard for his old buddy Willie Nelson when he receives death threats.

The Autumn of the Patriarch by Gabriel Garcia Marquez: This would perhaps be easier than Love in the Time of Cholera and 100 Years of Solitude to develop into a film by the author who dabbles in hyper-realism and intense descriptive passages. This is due to it having the central plotline of a South American dictator who seems almost god-like in his power and presence. I could certainly see this getting the green light if Fidel Castro kicks the bucket as a parallel story. It's also a great role that many actors would leap at. Sean Connery in Highlander mode comes to mind.

Cat's Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut.: Richard Kelly of Donnie Darko did a treatment of the novel for Leonardo Di Caprio's Appian Way company, but it seems to have stalled out. Current word has James and Jake Hart working on a new script. The book deals with a man researching a book on the fictional creator of the atomic bomb and discovering a substance he invented called Ice Nine that could end civilization as we know it. Wait a minute…I think I saw this already with Keanu Reeves.

Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka: Kafka's most well known and best work deals with an average man who awakes one day to find that he has become a giant cockroach. That can easily be done in today's computerized world, but the trick would be for it not to be campy. David Lynch talked about making it for years. I think David Cronenberg would be a good choice. Orson Welles also mentioned doing it after he had made The Trial, which is very good.

A Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole: Doing a film on the background of the book might be even better than adapting the book itself. Toole committed suicide because he couldn't sell the novel. It was finally published 11 years later when his mother found the manuscript and pushed it. The novel revolves around Ignatius living in New Orleans in the sixties. He's intelligent, but slothful and must finally find a job. Several possible film deals have been made over the years and there are rumors that the book is cursed as John Belushi, John Candy and Chris Farley were all up for the part before their deaths. Will Ferrell was most recently up for the role in a movie by David Gordon Green from a script by Steven Soderburgh and Scott Kramer. Rights issues halted this version, but a table read with several notable actors was done at the Nantucket Film Festival in 2005.

Q: Hey Leonard.
Just thought that I'd point out that "The Man With One Red Shoe" was actually a remake of a foreign film similarly titled "The Incredibly Tall Blonde Man With One Red Shoe" or something to that effect. I don't remember what country it came from, but I remember seeing the previews for it on the Movie Channel way back in the day prior to the Hanks version being made.
-BP

A: We talked about The Man With One Red Shoe a few weeks ago and this just got lost in my inbox, sorry Ben Piper.



What you are remembering is The Tall Blonde Man with One Black Shoe from France and made in 1972. It starred Richard Pierre and was directed by Robert Yves. It was plenty to the Tom Hanks remake. A sequel followed in 1974.

Q: Hey Leonard,
We have all heard of one-hit wonders like Toni Basil, Right Said Fred, that Rico Suave guy. So who are the greatest examples of one-movie wonders? I am not even talking about Mark Hamill/ Carrie Fisher because they were in 3 hits (same series though). I am talking about 1 hit movie and they were never in a hit movie again. I can only think of Jake Lloyd and the guy from American Warewolf in London.
Thanks,
-David



Jake Lloyd is probably best known for playing young Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace, but in calling him a one hit wonder you forget him starring as Arnie's son in Jingle All the Way.



David Naughton has been a one hit wonder in several media. He starred in American Werewolf in London the long running "I'm a Pepper" commercials for Dr. Pepper and scored a number one hit with "Makin' It" from his short lived television series. However, Naughton is still a hardworking actor today making TV guest appearances, doing voiceover work for cartoons and starring in low budget horror films. He never really had a hit television show, about the closest he came was being Pam Dawber's boyfriend on "My Sister Sam."

Here are some picks from me.



Amanda Peet: Peet was heralded as a new comedic superstar after her breakout performance in The Whole Nine Yards. She was hot and funny. Whipped was hyped to the moon on her name and then totally bombed. She's still working steady and has had some notable supporting parts in films such as Something's Gotta Give, but her last starring role in A Lot Like Love tanked too.



Robert Hays: His generic good looks and deadpan delivery made him the perfect leading man for the disaster spoof Airplane!. Now name another movie he's been in…right. About his only other notable role of the past 25 years was in Stephen King's Cat's Eye and, of course, I remember him in Take This Job and Shove It. I saw him in a Cheese Whiz commercial about three years ago.



Richard Benjamin: Benjamin was carving out a solid niche as a supporting player when he broke big as the lead in Westworld opposite James Brolin and Oscar winner Yul Brenner. The tale of a robot who goes haywire at a futuristic fantasy park was one of the biggest sci-fi films until Star Wars came along. The same year Benjamin won a Golden Globe as Walter Matthau's nephew in The Sunshine Boys. His next move was a major misstep. He chose to go to the small screen and star in the sci-fi comedy series "Quark" as the captain of a space garbage scowl. It lasted 9 episodes. Love at First Bite was a spoof of the Dracula mythos and did well with audiences, but it was seen more as a comeback vehicle for George Hamilton. Admittedly he got into directing in the eighties and has actually done pretty good for himself on that front having helmed My Favorite Year, The Money Pitt, Little Nikita, City Heat, Mermaids, Milk Money and Marci X…uh, scratch that last one.



Keir Dullea: Most of you probably don't recognize the name, but remember the blank, yet condescending way the Hal 9000 teased Dave in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Dullea was Dave. He's mostly done B-movies and the cult Canadian series "The Starlost" since. As Noel Coward once quipped, "Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow."

Don't die.

"Welcome to Costco, I love you."