The 411 Top 5 05.30.08: Week 115

Posted by Trevor Snyder on 05.30.2008

The Top 5 Scariest Non-Supernatural Horror Films

Summer movie season is full on, and as you might have noticed, I've been trying to make an effort to tie in the last month or so of The Top 5 with each week's corresponding big release. That was all fine and dandy until this week, when the huge movie is…Sex & the City! Yeeaaahhh….no offense to any Sex fans, but I really couldn't be bothered to do a related Top 5. Hell, the only topic I could even think of for that one was The Top 5 tortures I gould gladly endure before watching Sex & the City. Not a bad idea, really, but oh well.

So, that instead leaves to deal with the week's other big release, The Strangers. Summer is a notoriously bad time to put out a horror film, and that – combined with the fact that film was already delayed from last year – probably doesn't bode well for the fate of The Strangers. Still, if you know me, you know I never need an excuse to do a horror-related column. And besides, The Stangers actually does have the slightest bit of positive buzz attached, most likely due not only to its effectively creppy ad campaign, but also to the fact that it's about something that is truly scary…home invasion. We can all relate to the terrifying idea of somebody breaking into your home late at night, much more so than we can probably relate to the seemingly supernatural events that will be on display later this summer in M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening. In fact, as much as any scare fan loves ghosts, vampires, zombies, and the like, it's usually the simplest, most plausible ideas that are the scariest – as we will now try to prove with a look at:

THE TOP 5 SCARIEST NON-SUPERNATURAL HORROR MOVIES



Trevor Snyder

HONORABLE MENTION

Seven (1995) – Sometimes there's nothing scarier than being reminded of the real horrors people are capable of, and there might not be a more chilling display of this than Seven, which is all but guaranteed to make you feel dirty about this whole humanity thing.

Inside (2007) - Granted, this French tale of a deranged woman trying to cut the unborn baby out of a pregnant woman's stomach is probably a lot scarier if you're a woman yourself. But hey, I'm a guy, and I'm fairly confident that I will never be pregnant, and this movie still freaked the crap out of me.

THE TOP 5

5. Bug (2006)

One of my favorite films of last year (and without a doubt one of the most underrated), Bug is not a film about a killer insects, as some of the misleading promotional materials would have had you believe. It's actually the terrifying tale of an schizophrenic ex-soldier who is convinced the government has infested his body with millions of parasitic bugs. It's scary enough being shown the fragile state of the human mind, but it gets even worse once his paranoia actually convinces the lonely Ashley Judd that not only is he possibly telling the truth, but maybe she's got a case of the bugs, too. You want scary? How about being reminded that all it takes is a spot of really bad luck and a few bad years, and me or you could just as easily end up on the wrong side of crazy, as well.

4. Duel (1971)

The idea of being menaced by a vehicle with an unseen driver has been done quite a bit in the scare genre (The Car, Joyride, Jeepers Creepers), but never as effectively as it was in Steven Spielberg's debut feature. If you don't have second thoughts about cutting off your fellow drivers after watching this flick, you're a braver chap than I. Of course, what's really scary about this one is how amazing of a directorial job Spielberg did on his first time out.

3. Them (2006)

One of the most critically acclaimed horror films of the last years, this French flick is enjoying a little bit of renewed interest at the moment because of its similarity to The Strangers. The makers of The Strangers have apparently gone as record as saying they had their film written and planned before they ever saw Them, but I think they doth protest too much. Instead of trying to distance themselves from this film, they should be promising fright fans that they studied Them and are doing their best to try to capture the same sense of unrelenting dread that permeates that movie. In this day and age, when the genre has become over-reliant on cheap and easy gore gags, it's great to have a movie like Them come along and remind us just how much frightening mileage you can get out of a simple concept purely through the use of sound and a building sense of tension.

2. Jaws (1975)

People don't typically think of Steven Spielberg as a horror director, and yet here we have his second movie on this list, and inarguably one of the most popular horror films of all time. Oh, sure, some people don't consider Jaws to be a horror film, but c'mon…are you freaking kidding me? Try to picture yourself swimming in the ocean, with that beast of a shark nipping at your heels. That, my friends, is horror. And there's a whole generation of viewers who found themselves afraid of the water after seeing this flick that I think would probably agree with me.

1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

It's been said before, but it bears repeating - Texas Chainsaw Massacre is that rare horror film that actually feels like it was made by a team of psychopaths, eager to drive the audience just as insane as the poor heroine of the film itself. It doesn't matter how many times I watch this flick – and it's been a lot – it is still just as effective and terrifying today as it was the first time I saw it. What can you really say about it that hasn't already been said ad nauseam? Let's leave it at this…this is horror perfection.



Owain J. Brimfield

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Caché (2005) - entirely unnerving, and I've never heard a cinema scream as loud as during the one visceral scare moment here.

Jaws (1975) - speaks for itself, really, and kudos to the John Williams score which is universally creepy.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991) - you know how every single film critic has their one film, the classic that they embarrassedly have to admit they've never seen? This is mine. I hear it's pretty scary, though.

THE TOP 5

5. Freaks (1932)

Argh! They're hideous! I don't care if it's un-PC, the characters that inhabit this film are beyond freaky, and the scariest thing is, they're all real freaks. Terrifying. Of course, the film itself is actually pretty scary too, with the moment where the freaks finally exact their revenge being genuinely chilling, but for me all the scary while watching this comes from the mutants themselves.

4. 28 Days Later (2002)

I suppose this is the closest to arguably being a supernatural film on the list, but the "zombies" present in this movie aren't yer typical unexplained from-beyond-the-grave undead, but humans infected by a virus. Anyway, that's pretty much beside the point - the scariest moments in 28 Days Later don't come in the second half, where the film becomes a more traditional zombie-horror film, but in the first half hour, where Cillian Murphy wanders around a deserted London with Godspeed You! Black Emperor slowly building the tension on the soundtrack. Completely haunting, especially if you know the city well, and it plays on one of the greatest human fears of all - loneliness.

3. Saw (2004)

Again, this is a movie that's much scarier in its initial setup - two strangers locked in a room with a corpse, forced to play a bizarre and unnerving game - than when it takes its later turns towards more conventional horror. Much of the sense of dread comes from imagining what you yourself would be able to achieve in a similar situation. Unfortunately the franchise went rapidly downhill after its genuinely original first outing, but we still have the Jigsaw doll, the ruthless mind of the unseen killer and that shot of Cary Elwes sawing off his own foot to keep us company when it's dark at night.

2. Duel (1971)

I suppose this film is contestable when it comes to categorizing it as horror, so I may have to leave that up for debate - suffice to say, Duel is one of the finest suspense movies ever made, and is damn frightening. It's a stupidly simple conceit - giant truck menaces innocent man on isolated desert highways - but is executed to perfection by the fledgling Spielberg and is a wonderful example of how to build tension and establish a constantly growing sense of fear.

1. Seven (1995)

I'd put Seven (or, if you want to be an annoying git, "Se7en" - seriously, think about it, that would just mean it would be called "Sesevenen") right at the top of the list of the scariest movies I've ever seen, along with The Thing and perhaps The Shining. Rarely has one film so perfectly encapsulated a constant feeling of dread in everything it does, even scenes as simple as Morgan Freeman going to the library. Of course, the real scares are lined up for the gradual revelation of John Doe's grand purpose, and I've never jumped quite so hard at any film's main "jump" moment. You know the bit I mean. Add to that the bleakest of bleak endings and the fact that the sun didn't shine once during the making of the film, and you have yourself one of the scariest movies ever made.



Shawn S. Lealos

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Saw (2003) – People are punished for their sins. Every victim in this movie deserves what they got and that is very, very unnerving.

Silence of the Lambs (1991) – What is scarier than a brilliant psychopath who wants to eat you, with a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti.

The Hitcher (1986) – If for no other reason than the scene with Jennifer Jason Leigh tied between the semi truck and its trailer and the results of that predicament.

THE TOP 5

5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

This is one of the most disturbing movies I have ever seen. It's the classic tale of what happens when you go into the wrong place at the wrong time. The gritty, grimy filmmaking style also adds to the fear of watching each of these kids get mentally and physically dismantled one at a time until there is only one person left. It is a dark, bleak movie with no sense of hope. The kids are all fodder for the family and there is no let up, no added comedy, nothing to ease the tension until the final scene where the surviving girl is chased down the road. In a time where dark movies such as The Hills Have Eyes and Last House on the Left were churning people's stomachs, it is Texas Chainsaw that still builds the same sense of dread today that it did when it first assaulted our senses over thirty years ago.

4. Friday the Thirteenth (1980)

I present to you the original Friday the Thirteenth. Forget everything you remember about Jason Vorhees and concentrate only on this debut for the franchise. Using the strategy of the old campfire tales where kids sit around and tell each other stories that could actually occur right then and there, the original Friday sets the horrors at a summer camp. It is a morality tale, beginning with some kids torturing the young, scared handicapped Jason and then watching as he drowns in Crystal Lake. All the while, the camp counselors have sex and ignore the cries for help. Then it is time for vengeance. The killer is a real person, with real motives, and possesses no superhuman qualities, save a mother's undying rage. It is a movie where the killer, while deranged and psychotic, is out to prove a point. Also forget about the final scene, where Jason comes out of the lake. That is what I like to call the "Carrie" scare. It is there for a final jump scare and has nothing to do with the story you just witnessed. If you are the type of deranged person I know you must be, stick this movie in for your younger siblings to watch the night before they go off to summer camp. They will either become perfect angels who wouldn't pick on a smaller kid if their life depended on it, or shriveling weenies that won't leave the cabins and will go nowhere near the water. Either way, it'd be funny.

3. Seven (1995)

David Fincher brought us a true horrific tale in this movie about a serial killer using the seven deadly sins as a template. While not as inherently scary as others on this list, it is still stomach churning and gruesome. I dare you to get the picture out of your mind of the woman who was killed due to LUST. Think about the horrible sequence where the man is found – still alive – for the crime of SLOTH. Fincher used gothic visuals when man is found dead based on GLUTTONY. What is most shocking and disturbing about this movie is the end. I saw this in theaters when it was released and the entire theater left the building in stunned silence as ENVY and WRATH are combined into one of the most horrific finales in memory.

2. Halloween (1978)

Babysitting never seemed so dangerous. John Carpenter sets the table for this brilliant horror movie by taking the occupation of pre-pubescent girls everywhere and making it the breeding ground for a deranged serial killer. The story starts off with a horrifying idea, as a young boy places a mask over his face and enters his sister's bedroom, killing her with a butcher knife. How horrifying it is to think that your killer might be your own little, baby brother? If that isn't scary enough, imagine you are a babysitter, watching over two neighborhood kids when that same boy, now grown into a man, has returned to his old town and wants to start killing again? Forget the sequels, where Michael Myers becomes an almost superhuman Jason Vorhees type character and think back to the simpler times. Think back to a time where anytime you heard a bump in the night, you imagined it was a masked serial killer waiting outside your window. Movies like The Strangers would never exist if not for this groundbreaking horror film. Did you remember to lock your doors?

1. Jaws (1975)

The movie that made an entire nation afraid to go into the water. In a career that spawned movies such as Raiders of the Lost Ark, it is Jaws that possibly comes closest to the perfect summer spectacle. It was the movie that single handily created the summer blockbuster, at the very least. Start with a monster that is all too real and a true danger to people in real life. The killer shark may have become overblown over time, but in the original film it was a very large, very hungry killer. Then place that monster in an environment that would normally be known as a happy place of relaxation. Stick the very real, extremely dangerous killer in a relaxing, peaceful vacation town and watch the carnage. The final ingredient is to make the monster completely organic, something that did not kill for vengeance or malice, but something that only kills because that is its nature. Jaws isn't a psychotic killer of innocents. Jaws is a shark that needs to eat, and people just happened to be drifting into its dining room. It is one of the scariest movies ever made and I dare you even today to go swimming in the ocean after watching it.



Bryan Kristopowitz

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Hero and the Terror (1988): This is, of course, one of those Cannon Chuck Norris flicks that were all the rage in the 1980's. This flick finds Chuck's Danny O'Brien, as a moody scumbum cop with issues (an 80's cop movie staple), up against escaped serial killer lunatic Simon Moon, as played by the great Jack O'Halloran. O'Halloran is terrifying as Moon, a gigantic male human who can't stop breaking people's necks. He doesn't get to break Chuck's neck (obviously. I think Bruce Lee was the only one who did that), but he sure does mangle Steve James' neck (and that chick he put behind the air conditioning grate). Yeah, the one-on-one story is a tad contrived, but there are probably Simon Moon types aplenty in our nation's prisons.

Hannibal (2001): While I adore Silence of the Lambs, I think Hannibal is slightly scarier because, at its core, it's a story about seduction. Escaped cannibal serial killer Hannibal Lector, either in person or by reputation, manages to consume everyone pursuing him, and while everyone (love interest Clarice Starling, former patient turned insanely dogged disabled pursuer Mason Verger, Inspector Pazzi, among others) admits that Hannibal is awful and gross and just plain evil, they can't stop thinking about him and they just can't wait to be around him again. He's the ultimate charismatic psycho. He's like rich gourmet food you can't stop eating. I just wish that director Ridley Scott went with the book ending, where Starling runs off and marries Lector, because that's much scarier than having Hannibal cut his own hand off and feed a kid human brain on an airplane.

Friday the 13th (1980): This, of course, is the only movie in the series that you could call "real," because the killer is a psychotic woman (Betsy Palmer) in a light blue sweater, the kind of killer no one would suspect (a serial killer that's also a mother? Get the freak out of here!), and not the hulking zombie monster with a hockey mask that populates the sequels (stories that, I contend, are nothing more than urban legends that are a self perpetuating riff on the first flick's real story and therefore not real. I did a column about this a while back). You can fight back against this killer and you can actually kill this killer (Alice slices Pamela Voorhees' head clean off). And that's why Pamela is so dang scary. You can't give up against her. You do have a chance against her. So what the heck are you waiting for?

THE TOP 5

5. Assault on Precinct 13 (1976)

This is, of course, the John Carpenter flick that features a direct homage to Night of the Living Dead and undead zombie attacks replacing flesh and blood street gang members willing to die for a cause greater than themselves. And the cops and criminals holed up in the rundown Precinct 9 building have to fend for themselves because there's no way to call for help (and the cops that are patrolling the area have no idea what's going on anyway). Not to mention there's the kid killing (Kim Richards), the potential random violence (as the white gang member uses the sniper scope to decide who to shoot) and the actual random violence (what happens to the ice cream truck driver and Kim Richards). So this is one major messed up situation. Just what the heck are you going to do?

4. Misery (1990)

Jimmy Caan is a famous romance novelist trapped in the house of his number one fan, as played by Kathy Bates, who also happens to be a whacked out psycho with a pet pig, a shotgun, and a sledgehammer. She's never going to let Jimmy leave, even if he writes just one last Misery novel. We've seen similar real life stories recently (the Austrian father who had his daughter chained up in the basement, that pizza shop manager that kidnapped that kid in Ohio or wherever it was, and the whole John Jamelske thing), which just makes Misery the movie all the more creepy. This could, this kind of thing has happened before and will probably happen again.

3. Jaws (1975)

It's a movie about a great white shark that's interested in one thing and one thing only: eating. It especially loves eating people. And isn't that what all big ass sharks want to do? Eat people? Of course they do. And that's why we're all so dang scared of them, and that's why Roy Scheider is so dang scared in the movie. That shark he's hunting (along with Hooper and Quint) eats people. Watch what happens to Quint. That could happen to you.

2. Psycho (1960)

I don't think I have to explain why this flick is dang scary. I'll do it anyway, though. No one expects Janet Leigh to die basically right at the beginning of the story. And no one expected to sympathize at all with the guy who ends up being revealed as the killer, Norman Bates (Anthony Perkins). Bates is a weirdo with his dead mother still in the house, he dresses up as a woman to kill people, and, well, just watch that final scene where Bates grins at the camera. Norman Bates is a real person, just like Pamela Voorhees. And this is the flick that tells you, much like the recent Vacancy tells you, don't stay in a hotel motel run by a weirdo.

1. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)

A homicidal family of lunatic cannibals living out in the woods, just waiting for unsuspecting people to come calling so they can be killed, cut up, and eaten (and potentially turned into lamps and furniture, depending on what's left over). As far as I know, nothing quite like this has ever happened, but, really, if you're lost in the woods, don't you think it could happen? I mean, who else is going to live out in the woods besides a homicidal family of lunatic cannibals? Odds are you're never going to run into zombies in the woods, but you could definitely run into a Leatherface type. Anyone could try to kill someone with a chainsaw. And you're out there in the middle of nowhere, essentially by yourself, with no help coming. What the heck are you going to do? You're at their mercy. Run and get the heck out of there. And remember to have a loaded gun, a map, and a full tank of gas. That's most important.



Ron Martin

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Cujo, The Hitcher, and Cape Fear

THE TOP 5

5. Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This movie works on three different levels for me. First of all, I don't like the idea of a man wielding a chainsaw coming at me. It makes me a tad uncomfortable. Secondly, I'm not particularly fond of massacres. They smell bad in the humidity. Thirdly, I've not heard good things about Texas. So the movie has got that going for it. Add to it the grainy amateurish filming mixed with innovative violence and you have a classic horror movie than involves not a single supernatural element – just a couple of gross out moments mixed in with ammunition for a lifetime of nightmares.

4. The Birds

I'm going to let a little secret out. I hate birds. I don't really like them chirping all happy like when I'm trying to sleep in the mornings. I don't like it when they use my car as their own private crapping grounds. I hate it even more when they swarm me and try to poke my eyes out. It's amazing how the simplest of films can really creep a guy out. I still feel a passing nervousness when a swarm of birds is overhead or you hear hundreds of them plotting from the same tree. Birds are like women – you can't trust them. Really, if all the birds wanted to poke your eyes out – what could you do about it?

3. Misery

As a writer, I can relate to this. Well, technically I'm unpublished, but in my wildest dreams I am famous enough to have a fanatical admirer as batshit insane as Annie Wilkes. I know that the story moved along because Annie was a nurse and knew how to do things that people who aren't in the medical field could do, but this story wouldn't be that far fetched if it happened in real life. There are people out there like Annie Wilkes, as scary as that sounds. The book was a tad better, but Kathy Bates cemented herself as one of my favorite actresses of all time with her chilling performance in this movie. The clubbing of the foot scene will make me cringe every time I watch is as long as I live.

2. Jaws

Anyone who has seen this movie can not swim in the ocean without at least giving it a thought. The movie in tremendously done even if the reason for all the suspense happens to be because of the malfunctioning shark. Jaws may be a tad dated now, but it scared the bejesus out of a whole generation. The Jaws theme is still one of the most recognizable pieces of music today. Even with outdated special effects, the movie will scare the pants off you.

1. Scream

While this movie may not actually be the scariest of the movies on this list, it certainly is the funnest. The funnest plus pretty damn scary equals #1 in my book. Part of the whole plot of the movie was the fact that the outfit was so common it could happen to anyone, anywhere. Wes Craven went out of his way to make the killer(s) in this movie as far from being supernatural as possible. If you go back and watch the movie, there is a logical explanation for every move the killer makes. The weird thing is that with the popularity of the movie, there are more Scream masks out there than ever so the possibility for a copycat killer copying the movie have been heightened exponentially. Thanks a lot, Craven!



Jeremy Thomas

HONORABLE MENTION

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1919) - One of the first horror films is still one of the best. This silent picture, directed by German director Robert Wiene, is still acclaimed, even today, for being a genuinely frightening and stylistic film. The story of showman Dr. Caligari, hypnotizing a local into carrying out murders in his insane obsession, is a classic story that has rarely been equalled.

Silence of the Lambs (1991) - What can be said about Anthony Hopkins's chilling protrayal of Hannibal Lector that hasn't already been said. This is a genuinely creepy movie, and would rate higher if it was true horror as opposed to a suspense thriller.

The Descent (2005) - Some might argue that the creatures in this movie make this supernatural; I highly disagree. The creatures, in my mind, are clearly underground-living people who evolved (or devolved) after so much time spent undeground. Think the X-Files episode of the same nature. Anyway, the claustrophobic feel of the movie is intense, and genuinely frightening.

THE TOP 5

5. Eyes Without a Face (1959)

Never heard of it? Neither has much of America. This French film came out in 1959 as Les Yeux sans visage and got a dubbed American release in 1962 as The Horror Chamber of Dr. Faustus. It's an amazingly distrubing movie about a doctor who attempts to graft other women's skin onto his daughter's after a disfiguring car accident. It was so controversial in Europe at the time that one reviewer who stated that she liked it was very nearly fired. It's a fascinating film that, if you don't mind subtitles, is well worth checking out.

4. Seven (1995)

David Fincher's coming out party, Seven is a brilliant piece of horror cinema. Shocking at the time for its level of violence, it also contains a tightly-woven plot, some serious and very real tension, and great performances by Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Spacey. I couldn't have put it any better then Shawn about the inability to get the mental image out of your head regarding the Lust killing, no matter how hard you try. And while all of that is amazing in and of itself, it's the unbelievably shocking ending that just grabs you where it counts, twists hard, and leaves your jaw dropping in disbelief. An amazing, disturbing movie.

3. Saw II (2005)

The original Saw is a lot of fun, but for my money, Saw II seriously outcreeps it. Both of them have the same brilliant premise of a serial killer who's not really a serial killer but a man who wants to help others find their strength, and both have a deviously twisted sensibility. The thing that earns this one the win over the original, though, is what is still the most cringe-worthy scene in the series...the pit of needles. I don't know anyone who can't talk about that scene without making some sort of "Uwah" sound while squirming a little. That's awesome.

2. Psycho (1960)

Anyone who tells you that Anthony Perkins didn't creep them out is lying or beyond jaded by the current horror scene. Hitchcock's horror masterpiece is one a truly unnerving movie experience. Hitchcock relied on several subtle conventions, including innovative use of sound effects, subliminal skulls superimposed over Norman Bates's head, and of course the shocking (at the time) shower scene. Every non-supernatural horror film since 1960 owes at least some sort of debt to Hitchcock for this one.

1. Identity (2003)

Other films may be more acclaimed, or more successful...but for me, this one wins hands-down. Despite the way the majority of the film seems, there's nothing supernatural about Identity...only symbolic. Michael Cooney wrote one of the great psychological horror films of the modern (or any era), and the moody feel, the questions it raises throughout, great performances by everyone involved (John Cusack, Ray Liotta, Amanda Peet and Pruitt Taylor Vince are particularly good), and the most freaky endings I've ever seen, Identity is, bar none, the scariest non-supernatural horror film in my book. End of story.

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