Planet Fun News 06.05.08: Real World Commentary
Posted by Matt Richissin on 06.05.2008
This week, the Planet Fun returns for a real-time commentary of this week's episode of the Real World: Hollywood.
All right, so I'm about half way done on my next "In Search Of..." column but I thought it wouldn't be right to skip out on a full Planet Fun column two weeks in a row. And I'd rather not receive the e-mails that would go along with them.
So this week I've decided to write a viewer's commentary of the June 4th episode of the Real World: Hollywood. Now there's a significant chance that if you have more than basic channels that you're missing out on the master piece that is The Real World: Hollywood. So let me set it up a little.
Tonight's episode will mark the return of the shows star; Joey who has spent the past couple days/weeks/months (?) in rehab kicking alcoholism. To mark his return, his sensitive cast mates have promised not to drink alcohol in front of him. Which was highlighted by their "going out party" which resulted in a drunken hot tub orgy featuring all but one cast members. So without further adieu, it's go time!
10:03: About 20 seconds into the episode we get the first of Joey's Macho Man Randy Savage impressions which had been debuted in the previous week. Subsequently, we find out that Joey is taking bi-polar meds. See, one of his personalities is a raging lunatic who hates everyone when he drinks, the other one just hates Hulk Hogan. BTW: where is Macho Man Impressions on annoying scale? A 26 out of 10?
10:07: The roommates leave Joey behind to go to improv class and then will go out to the bars. Funny side note: the roommates work/rehearse in the 'Andy Dick Theater.' Honestly. Couldn't come up with anyone else? Did they just throw 15,000 comedians names in a giant bucket and pick one? Did Jim Beluschi Theater not have the same ring? I mean really; how did they come up with this name?
10:09: We get our first cry of the episode by Joey. Normally, this would be saved for about 20 minutes in. To be fair, he's been back for one night and his roommates have already ditched him to go improv and then apparently out for a night of drinking. Luckily for him, the wet blanket of the season, Sarah has come back. Sarah might be the biggest letdown in Real World history. Just really, really attractive and really, really in control. C'mon, Real World Cast Director: the hot ones are supposed to be messes. Anyways they have an awkward two sentence conversation and then part ways.
10:13: The rest of the roommates have returned in a drunken stupor. Ever had a roommate come back really drunk and they try to be quiet, except it turns out to be even louder than if they didn't try in the first place and for some reason they feel obligated to cook about 9 pounds of Mac & Cheese in 3 different cooking pans? That's pretty much what's going on now but times five. The Bi Polar One is NOT happy.
10:17: Former Real Worlder, Janelle (black, cute girl from Real World: Key West) is making an appearance! She's going to hook up Will (the aspiring musician) because she knows "a lot of people." Apparently not enough. That's gotta be a new low for a Real Worlder. Coming back for a second go around; isn't that what the Gauntlet is for? Class it up, Janelle. Let the countdown to Cinemax begin!
10:23: Greg is going to an audition for a modeling show that his mom set up and he was just told that he's a little too beefy. Greg is the show's version of Terrell Owens. He's an aspiring model He calls women "associates." In other words, he's the sexy pick for favorite character of this year's season.
10:26: Joey just realized that the fact that some of his improv classes are at a local bar could be a problem for him.
10:30: Will and Janelle from Key West are hanging out. It's odd how uncomfortable I feel watching this. Just something really weird about seeing an old cast mate on the show. Isn't she supposed to be attending some mid-level college for their spring weekend?
10:31: Joey is nervous that his teacher is making him do tonight's improv show. Apparently he hated "Less Than Perfect" as much as I did.
10:35: Does anyone else laugh during the new M Night Shymalan trailer when they say something along the lines of "This is his first R Rated Movie" and then a dozen bodies start falling from the sky? Talk about hammering the point in.....
10:38: Greg (getcha popcorn ready) is skipping tonight's improv show in favor of going to some modeling show because he "doesn't want to be a master of improv" he wants to be a "master of model." This will be my go to joke for the next year.
10:40: To the Surprise of absolutely no one the Real World Improv troupe bombs on stage. Really, I'm amazed that the Real World team entitled Whiskey Tango Foxtrot (Abbreviation: WTF. Get it?! Don't worry about it, take some time to yourself) wouldn't succeed.
10:42: Joey feels like he's going to crack under the pressures around him. Luckily, Wet Blanket Sarah is there and has the composure of a sophomore in high school after realizing that her friend might need to go to the hospital to pump out the 6 bottles of Smirnoff Ice she just took down.
10:45: Time to call the improv supervisor?! Joey takes the phone, Sarah takes her bible. I'm not kidding.
10:48: The drunk brigade returns! Which follows in a montage that seems straight out of American Pie: Beta House. Complete with the shirtless drunk guy using his drum sticks on the tables.
10:50: Improv class hits and we hear an interesting twist: Apparently if you get fired from your Real World "Job" you have to go home. And Greg is under fire for missing improv class. COMMERCIAL BREAK (I'll save you the suspense: Greg is far too interesting of a character to get rid of)
10:54: Hey Weezer, isn't it time we wrote a new song? No, not just a new title. A new song.
10:55: The improv teacher has decided to fire Greg! I'm ashamed of how shocked I am. In about 3 minutes I've come up with about 17 different sentences to try to summarize how legitimately amazed I am. Indescribable! Joey's looking like he might be on the ropes, and now you're going to eliminate the only other character with any kind of personality? Talk about flying with not safety net! I'm kind of hoping now that Joey leaves just to see how truly horrible this show could get. "On the season finale the cast mates decide to see Iron Man but Will isn't sure that he could make the 7:10 showing." At least he'll be back for the Gauntlet. Hear that Janellle?! YOU COME BACK ON THE GAUNTLET!
