Alternate Takes 06.28.08: Wanted

Posted by Shawn S. Lealos on 06.28.2008

Alternate Takes tackles Summer Blockbusters along with a special look back at George Carlin...



Hello and welcome to Week 10 of Alternate Takes. My name is Shawn Lealos and I want to start this week talking about George Carlin. I had the privilege of seeing Carlin live in Las Vegas in the late nineties. A few months after the show I was pretty upset when I realized his performance was the exact same, joke-for-joke as his HBO special at the time. I have since gotten over that because I saw George Freaking Carlin live.

My first introduction to Carlin was in the late eighties with Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. When I saw my first George Carlin stand up act, I was hooked. We didn't share the same beliefs, as many of his jokes were of the atheist variety and I am a Christian, but I still found them funny. I have no problem with someone who shares different beliefs than myself, and can still find humor regardless of the topic of the humor.

George Carlin was one of the greatest comedians of our time and, along with Richard Pryor, a breed of comedian that no longer exists. We still have racy off-color comedians, but most of them go for shock humor. Carlin never had to stoop to shock humor or low brow jokes. He just made observations and most times they were funny in their honesty. Mitch Hedberg was a comedian who, although he applied a different style to his shows, seemed to be the same type of humorist, but he was taken before his time. Luckily, Carlin was not taken before he was able to grace us with years of great stuff.

George Carlin will be missed, but he will never be forgotten.

CLICK HERE to read Bryan Kristopowitz's What?!! This Column!?? for his thoughts on Carlin.
CLICK HERE to read Jerome Cusson's Tribute to George Carlin
CLICK HERE to read a BLOG by George H. Sirois with his thoughts on the passing of Carlin.
CLICK HERE to read a BLOG by Fact or Fiction's own Ben Piper with his thoughts on George Carlin as well.

I don't have anything of my own to pimp this week, as I have begun production on my eighth film, entitled The Final Detail. That takes up a lot of my time, but I would never miss out on an edition of Alternate Takes. Now, on with the column...

WANTED



Directed by Timur Bekmambetov
Cast: Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman, Terence Stamp

I've just read a review on Wanted that compares the movie to Crank and Running Scared. It also compared the movie to Grand Theft Auto (the video game, not the Ron Howard film). If that is all true, I cannot wait to see this film. The first thing I notice about the film is the director. When making such an obvious popcorn summer film, I would expect to see Brett Ratner or McG at the helms. On my better days, I would be honored by the presence of one Michael Bay, "Lord of All Things That Blow Up." Nope. Wanted is a film based on the comic book by Mark Millar, whose newest comic book sensation, Kick Ass, is being rushed into production for a 2009 theatrical release. So, for a movie based on a comic book by the biggest self promoter since Kevin Smith we get Timur Bekmambetov. "Who?", you may ask. Bekmambetov is a Russian born film director who made a name for himself world-wide with the release of Night Watch and its sequel Day Watch. If you've watched either of those films, you would understand they hired arguably the best director for this type of over-the-top film.

In anticipation of this summer's craziest blockbuster, I give you five other films that, for good or bad, define summer popcorn blockbusters.

Five Alternate Takes

5. Mr. and Mrs. Smith (2005)

Directed by Doug Liman
Cast: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Vince Vaughn, Adam Brody
Why it's here: This isn't Angelina Jolie's first summer rodeo. In 2005, Jolie and Brad Pitt were paired up to mixed reviews

Wanted is being promoted squarely on Angelina Jolie's slim shoulders. Despite the fact that 2005's Mr. and Mrs. Smith starred two of the most popular sex symbols in Jolie and Brad Pitt, it failed to garner critical interest. But who cares about critical acclaim when the movie is all about two of the sexiest people alive running around shooting guns and blowing shit up? If you read my review on Jumper (and if you didn't, you can read it right here), you know my feelings about director Doug Liman. The guy can't tell a complicated story to save his own ass, but damn he can put together action like no one's business. He isn't up to the level of Michael Bay, but he might be the closest thing to Bay-Lite. In Jumper, he made the most of the "jumps" and in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, he made gun play sexy. It's not a great movie, but it's a hell of a good time.

"Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart... and that's saying something!"

4. SUPERMAN II (1980)

Directed by Richard Lester
Cast: Gene Hackman, Christopher Reeve, Ned Beatty, Margot Kidder, Jackie Cooper, Terence Stamp
Why it's here: Comic movies during the summer season isn't new. 27 years ago this month, Wanted actor Terence Stamp co-starred in one of the greatest superhero movies of all time.

The summer comic book blockbusters didn't start with Spider-Man or The X-Men films. They also didn't start with the Batman films. Superman was a Christmas release, but with the sequel Superman II, they chose to release it in June of 1981. Twenty-seven years before Terence Stamp would appear in Wanted, he was the baddest bad guy in the universe as General Zod in Superman II. He showed up and kicked the military's ass. Then he turned around and beat the shit out of Superman. Forget about Lex Luthor, although Gene Hackman was great as well, it was General Zod that proved to be the ultimate nemesis for the Man of Steel. There has been five Superman movies and this is the greatest. There is no argument here, if you only see one Superman movie, watch this one. If you want to see the best version, watch the recently released Richard Donner cut.

"I am General Zod, your ruler. Yes, today begins a new order. Your lands, your possessions, your very lives, will gladly be given in tribute to me, General Zod! In return for your obedience you will enjoy my generous protection. In other words you will be allowed to live."

3. THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS (2001)

Directed by Rob Cohen
Cast: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordanna Brewster, Rick Yune
Why it's here: The summer blockbuster. It's what Rob Cohen was born to direct.

I mentioned earlier that if you thought about summer popcorn blockbusters, you would think of McG or Brett Ratner. However, a name I didn't mention is Rob Cohen. He proved his mettle with The Fast and the Furious, a movie that is a thousand times better than it ever deserved to be. Cohen had made a name for himself with interesting, but forgettable movies such as Dragonheart and The Skulls. Vin Diesel had broke out in a big way with his amazing performance as Riddick in Pitch Black and was looking for something to put him on the A-list. Paul Walker was nothing more than a fresh Keanu Reeves. However, Cohen cemented himself as the go-to guy for high octane speed movies, stepping into the shoes once worn by Tony Scott. Vin Diesel stepped into a role that was even more iconic than Riddick. Paul Walker proved there might be more to him than the dumb beach boy persona. None of the three have cashed in on the success of this film. Cohen followed it up with the uninspiring XXX and Stealth. Vin Diesel has settled into kiddy fare and Paul Walker has settled into smaller, yet interesting movies such as Running Scared. Maybe it was just a fluke, but it was a damn great fluke. Due up in 2009 is Fast and Furious, reuniting all four prominent cast members from the original movie for the first time, under the direction of Tokyo Drift's Justin Lin.

"I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I'm free."

2. THE ROCK (1996)

Directed by Michael Bay
Cast: Sean Connery, Nicholas Cage, Ed Harris, David Morse, William Forsythe, Michael Biehn
Why it's here: Because you can't talk about summer blockbusters without talking about Michael Bay

You can't have a list about summer popcorn blockbusters without a Michael Bay flick on the list. I present you with the best Michael Bay flick on his resume - The Rock. It was shot after the really fun Bad Boys and before the overblown Armageddon, and trumps as an intelligent blockbuster yet never holds back with the explosions that Bay excels in. I think the first thing that makes the movie great is the cast. Sean Connery played Sean Connery and that is never a bad thing. Nic Cage was on his best form at this time in his career and had not yet become a parody of himself. But look at that supporting cast. Ed Harris is perfect as the bad guy who really believes he was doing the right thing. In professional wrestling, they say the best bad guy is the one who actually believes he is not the bad guy and is doing the right thing. Harris plays a character that was doing what he did because it followed through with his actual beliefs, and that made him less comical and more sympathetic. Add to the mix, the always excellent David Morse, the interesting William Forsythe and Kyle Reese himself - Michael Biehn. Did I mention that shit gets blowed up real good? This is an almost perfect summer popcorn blockbuster.

"Well, I'm one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since."

1. JAWS (1975)

Directed by Steven Spielberg
Cast: Roy Scheider, Robert Shaw, Richard Dreyfuss, Lorraine Gary
Why it's here: It's the movie that started it all.

It's the movie that changed what summer was all about. A fresh faced kid who had only made a television movie (Duel) and a small, low budget flick (Sugarland Express) was handed the keys to a big budget (at that time) flick about a giant shark. That kid, a virtual unknown named Steven Spielberg, started to work on this movie and everything started to go wrong. What makes this unique is he was allowed more money to continue on. This was a different time, pre-Heaven's Gate, and money was a little more free-flowing thanks to the success of movies like Easy Rider and The Godfather. The budget was $3.5 million, and Spielberg was starting to go over. He was about to be fired when he found a friend in the studio with Sid Sheinberg. Sheinberg backed Spielberg's requests to shoot in the ocean instead of a tank, and with Sheinberg and producer Richard Zanuck backing him, his requests for more money were approved. With a budget that checked in at over $13 million, Spielberg continued the success of the 70s generation. Jaws is the first, and possibly best summer blockbuster in cinema history. Taking the ideas he originally presented in Duel, Spielberg created a movie that made an entire nation scared to go into the ocean. It holds up better today than most horror movies and is a masterpiece that may have set the bar too high for anyone to reach.

"You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb."

This week, in honor of George Carlin, I give you my some of my favorite George Carlin movie and TV roles, in no specific order.

JERSEY GIRL - I know a lot of people like to rip on this movie but I really like it. I've always been a sucker for "daddy stories" and I think Affleck delivered a solid performance of a single dad trying his best to raise his daughter. It is Kevin Smith's most sincere movie to date. George Carlin played Affleck's dad and did a great job in the performance, weighing sincerity with exasperation at the actions of his son throughout the movie. He was great in the film, as should be expected. "It's called 'juice'. And it greases your father's insides so he can better swallow the shit his son feeds him twice a year, when he can be bothered to come to visit him."

JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK - It was a small role, but when Carlin had the cameo as the hitchhiker who explained the best way to get rides was to give blowjobs, it was a highlight in a movie full of very funny cameos. Carlin giving the thumbs up while going down on the trucker was even funnier than Jay going down on Carrie Fisher. "Don't be so suburban. It's the new millennium. Gay, straight... it's all the same now. There are no more lines."

DOGMA - To finish up Carlin's Kevin Smith trilogy, I give you the atheist Carlin as the Cardinal Ignatius Glick, the man who would introduce the world to Buddy Jesus. From bringing the Catholics into the 21st Century to blessing his own golf clubs, he delivered a wonderfully memorable performance. "Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies... He came to help us out. He was a booster. And it is with that take on our Lord in mind that we've come up with a new, more inspiring sigil. So it is with great pleasure that I present you with the first of many revamps the "Catholicism WOW. " campaign will unveil over the next year. I give you... The Buddy Christ."

BILL AND TED'S EXCELLENT ADVENTURE / BOGUS JOURNEY - My first introduction to George Carlin was through these two movies, as he played Rufus, Bill and Ted's guide through time. It started a love affair with the comedian that I would not soon forget. "And very important, *do not* do your homework without wearing headphones. Repeat..."

SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (Ep. 01.01) - I have been reliving the early years of SNL thanks to the first three seasons being out on DVD. Quick trivia question: Who was the first guest host (1975)? Yep, it was a very drugged up George Carlin. The studio heads even made him wear a suit on the show. They also wanted him to cut his hair. This was about a month or two before SNL would break free and be allowed to be "hip." Coked out of his head or not, he was still damn funny. "Football's fun. They moved the hash marks in. Guys found them and smoked them anyway."

And the best of them all:



Up next week