Babes, Bombs, and Blockbusters Movie News Report 7.08.08

Posted by Mike Gorman on 07.08.2008

Come on into this week’s 3 B’s News Report for the latest on the Ghostbuster video game, Wesley Snipes’ travel plans and what’s up for Steve-O post-rehab. In the Trunk you will find a look at why it is better to see a movie in the theaters than rent it on DVD and our Tuesday Hot Shot is a vision from across the Atlantic.



Welcome to this week's Tuesday report. Celebrity gossip seems to be ruling the news these last twenty four hours with the Madonna – A-Rod pairing topping everyone's lists. Below you can catch the Material's girls latest statement on the topic along with other tidbits. After that I get into why I think it is always best to catch a flick in the theaters instead of waiting for the DVD release and along for the ride this week is a British bombshell named Gemma Atkinson as your Tuesday Hot Shot.



The G Spot
The G Spot is your place for the day's movie news with the occasional cameo from the land of television.

Steve-O in Mental Ward, not a "Jackass" stunt
Steve-O, aka Stephen Glover, of "Jackass" fame has been transferred this week to a psychiatric institution after a court ordered stay in rehab. Glover posted on his website this week, "I'm back in the loony bin trying to get my s**t right." He also added that "I did so much cocaine, Ketamine, PCP, nitrous oxide and all sorts of other drugs that, quite simply, my brain is f**ked up." I am sure I am not the only person today shaking their head and thinking, "This explains a lot." I do not need to be a doctor to call this one, I just need to watch him let snakes bite his balls on "Wild Boys."

Moranis, a moron?
Ok, that is a little harsh but reports are that Rick Moranis is the only original cast member not reprising his role in the upcoming Ghostbusters video game reunion. In an interview with a German gaming magazine, game producer Ben Borth stated that "He (Moranis) made so much money off of Honey I Shrunk The Kids that he retired. He just doesn't want to work anymore." While I think that he should have done it just for nostalgia's sake I am amazed that the shrunken kids genre of film was lucrative enough to set him up for life. I wonder if he'll be making the same choice when Disney comes a knocking for a "—Shrunk the Kids" revival?



RZA set to write and direct martial arts bloodbath
According to an interview with Hostel director Eli Roth, RZA has created a martial arts film that will showcase his newly honed film productions skills along with his hip hop music abilities. RZA has been studying directing and production with the assistance of Quentin Tarantino, who Roth states has given his blessing to this project. Sounds like could turn out to be a fun ride of a film if RZA is able to focus the creative energy he has already displayed in his music.

McAvoy's New Toy
In an interview with News of the World Magazine, Wanted actor James McAvoy revealed that he attempted to sneak a dildo into a variety of shots in the film. McAvoy wanted to see how many scenes he was able to get the sex toy featured in but it seems he was not successful at all. That's too bad as we haven't had a good hidden penis film come along since, what the cover of Aladdin The Little Mermaid. Of course, is there ever really a good "hidden penis film"?



Book him a seat in the first class cabin
Wesley Snipes will be able to work to pay off the fines associated with his recent conviction on failure to file taxes charges. Free on appeal, Snipes' lawyer filed a motion with a Florida judge to allow Snipes to travel overseas to work on two films. The lawyer argued that Snipes is not a flight risk as disappearing during the production of a film would destroy his career and ability to make future income. I am concerned that Snipes is being allowed to make films at all. Why is he roaming free while the rest of us will be punished? Where is the justice?

Madonna and A-Rod, not a couple
In a statement to People.com Madonna has categorically denied any involvement in the separation between A-Rod and his wife. She stated, "My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study." Apparently A-Rod's wife Cynthia has a different story to tell. Here's hoping this negative attention has an effect on his ball play next time the Yankees meet up with the Red Sox in a few weeks.




The Trunk

Sitting in my father's backyard on the Fourth of July I was making plans with some friends to go to the movies later in the weekend. My father jumped into the conversation and wanted to know what was so great about going to the theater. He went to brag about his big screen TV and how the surround sound makes you feel like you are in a theater. I told him I completely disagreed and presented my argument. I have reconstructed it here for you today as my Top Ten Reasons It Is Better To Go To The Movies Than Watch A DVD At Home:

10. You're out of the house
Plain and simple. You are in new surroundings instead of trapped in the same old, same old. I have heard too many stories of Netflix addicts becoming hermits living alone with their stack of red envelopes. It is nice to get out and get some fresh air every once in a while.

9. Better Sound
No surround sound system can compete with the latest digital sound you get in the theater. I want my seat shaking with every explosion on screen not just the occasional rumble of a home set up. I am especially fond of the THX "Deep Note" that rattles your entire body when it is played before cinema trailers.

8. Big Screen
You cannot just talk about the sound in theaters without mentioning the actually screens. They are bigger than any home television and present with you an immersive experience. If you sit relatively close up, not the first few rows but somewhere near the first dozen, your entire field of vision is taken up by the screen.

7. You're Pop Culture savvy
When co-workers and friends talk about the latest movies they've caught at the local multiplex do you want to be left out? Not at all. The more behind you become on movie news because you're waiting for DVD release dates, the more likely you are to become the office pariah; never invited out to lunch, whispered about behind your back, and the target of malicious pranks. Protect yourself by seeing movies in a timely fashion.

6. Sneaking into another one
Ticket prices are indeed ridiculous these days. As are DVD rental fees. So why is the movie theater better in this case? Because you can always plan your day strategically and hop from theater to theater; paying for one movie and maybe not the next. I am of course not speaking from experience and not condoning this behavior. I have just heard about it and thought it was neat. Anyway, you can't just flip a DVD over and see another movie… though that would be cool. Note to self, invent the multifilm DVD this weekend.

5. Audience Participation
At home watching a DVD most friends and family will require your silence. In a packed theater on the opening night of a summer blockbuster everyone wants to hoot and holler all through the film. Something blows up? Everyone screams. A villain gets their comeuppance? Everyone screams. An innocent victim is stalked by a nearby killer? Oh you know everyone and their cousin will be screaming, "Get out of there stupid" or "Look out behind you."

4. Air conditioning
It can get brutally warm in some parts of this fine nation so after a day out or a long day at work you need a cool place to chill out. You also do not want to run your home AC all day because the electric bill can be enormous. Instead make your way to the local cinema where you can always count on it being cold enough inside for icicles to form at the tip of your nose.

3. Public restrooms
Sure, you have a nice private toilet at home where you can do your business and be done with it whenever you like but at a movie theater your usually have more than one option and bathrooms with stalls as far as the eye can see. It is like heaven. And let's not forget that you're not alone. In a theater bathroom there are all sorts of interesting people to meet. Why not start a conversation with the person in the adjoining stall or just slip a foot under the divider and wave it to say howdy? What's the worst that could happen?

2. Better Snacks
C'mon, if you do not know this then you are not a true movie fan. At movie theaters these days you can get anything from the old stand bye of popcorn to a full meal. My favorites are Sour Patch Watermelons and nachos. You want a hot dog? They have them. There are even some theaters now serving delivered meals and alcohol. How often have you thought that a nice cold beer would help a bad movie seem better? Now it is possible. Yes, some of you will say you can make the same food at home for less money but the key idea is that you don't have to do the work in the theater.

1. Date Night
Hands down taking a date to the movies and springing for the tickets, popcorn, etc. is much better for your love life than just renting a dvd and microwaving some popcorn. The darkness of the theater is a perfect arena for things to get started between you and your new love. A stolen kiss in public carries a bigger thrill then a moment spent together on your old ratty futon. Nevermind the chance for some hard core cuddling during the screening of a scary movie. Each terrifying scene will lead to her leaping into your arms. Might not happen if you spend that first date in your parent's basement.



Come Again?: Your Joke Source

New Tatoo

This lady goes into a tattoo parlor and asks the guy to put a tattoo of a
turkey on her upper right thigh. She goes back to the same tattoo parlor
two weeks later and asks him to tattoo a picture of a Christmas tree on
her upper left thigh.

Stumped, the guy finally decides to ask her why she wants these tattoos.

She said, "I'm tired of my husband complaining every year that there is nothing to eat between Thanksgiving and Christmas."

Harley Davidson

Arthur (Harley)Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven."

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God."

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"

Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."

God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said, "Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"

God said, "Yes."

"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous."

"Hmmm, you have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."




Tuesday Hot Shot
This week's Hot Shot joins us from across the pond. Gemma Atkinson is a British TV personality and supermodel. She is allegedly starting a singing career for herself now and all I can say is she seems to have the pipes for it.







(All information and gossip gathered from Fark.com, Aintitcoolnews.com, Hollywoodreporter.com, Hollywood.com, Reuters.com, Dirtyjokesinc.com, Variety.com, TMZ.com)