The Hollywood 5 & 1 07.12.08
Posted by Steve Gustafson on 07.12.2008
Everything you need to know about the wacky week in Hollywood so you don't feel left out at the party! A Jack Black 2-Play! Bruno spoilers! Find out what Brock Lesnar, Richard Simmons and Bill Cosby have in common! And read about how Hollywood hates us!
Hey there! Welcome back to the Hollywood 5 & 1! I'm your host, Steve Gustafson, and I read every gossip rag, visit every celebrity related web site, and call to my vast network in Hollywood to find the slightly offbeat news you might have missed during the week. Or just ignored. Do you have something to contribute? A celebrity sighting? A funny story? Shoot me an email at stevethegoose@gmail.com. Open 24-hours!
BLANTANT PLUG!
Check me out at The 411 Top 5: Week 121 put together by the handsome and manly Trevor Snyder! This week we list out Top 5 Comic-Based Movies We Want to See. Good stuff all around!
2 DVDs I Saw This Past Week...VS. One Another! Iron Eagle: An 80's classic! I used to watch this daily on VHS back in the day. Does it hold up? Yes, if you like cheesy dialog, an impossible plot, and wavy hair. VS. Clash of the Titans: I heard this is in the works to be remade. Why? The plot is there to showcase the special effects...wait...I just described 90% of the movies today. Remake away! WINNER: Iron Eagle gets the nod due to it's radical sound track!
Do Me a Favor
If you see Topher Grace, Brock Lesnar, Cheryl Ladd, Richard Simmons, Kristi Yamaguchi, or Bill Cosby today, wish them a HAPPY BIRTHDAY from Steve! They'll know what you're talking about.
Quote of the Week
"In ninth grade I did acid and cocaine. I wanted desperately to be an American bad ass...a criminal. You want to belong to the tough guy club, running from the cops, hiding in the bushes, making schemes and plans to get it over on the man." Jack Black on wanting to be an"American bad ass". That's 2 weeks in a row for Jack!
Jack Black News 2-Play
I had to stick this in somewhere. This is my kind of wedding! Jack Black has surreal memories of his "hippie" wedding day, the guests of honor were stuffed animals. The movie star and Tanya Haden eloped to Big Sur, California in March 2006, and the bride insisted on bringing her cuddly toy collection with her. Black tells Blender magazine, "They had a special package deal where you can get married by a woman named Soaring... The ceremony was pretty hippie, spacey and non-denominational. (It was) just us, Soaring, a photographer and Tanya's stuffed animals. She has a bunch of stuffed animals that she gives voice to. All her animals and characters were there: Quacker, Imaginary Bear, Pee, Richard, Harold, and they were the witnesses." And when the newlyweds returned to Los Angeles, they staged a party for family and friends during which Haden put on a puppet show. Black recalls, "(It was) all about Quacker, the duck, who was a little bit p**sed off because he was best friends with Tanya. A slide show that he narrated told the story of how we came together and fell in love, and how he was crushed by loneliness." How did you feel after reading that? ME TOO!
THE STUFF THAT JUST MISSED THE LIST STARTS...NOW...
This is just...weird. Actress Anne Hathaway has turned to a psychic masseuse to help her get over her split from Raffaello Follieri. She admits to being skeptical of Hollywood stars who have fortune tellers guide them through tough times, but the actress reveals she's found solace through her own future-seeing savior. She says, "The most Hollywood thing about me is that I have a psychic masseuse. When I was in Los Angeles for the Oscars, I was telling her that I'm really struggling for hope right now. I felt like the walls of the world were closing in a little bit. And she said that love is the only action. Everything else is reaction." Didn't anyone clue her in to Scientology?..........It was either this or found dead in his apartment. Jackass star Steve-o has been transferred from a rehabilitation center into a psychiatric hospital. The troubled stunt man, real name Stephen Glover, had enrolled in a narcotics program to treat his drug addictions, but after allegedly getting clean, he has been moved to the secure mental ward at Los Angeles' Cedars-Sinai Hospital. In an entry posted on his official website on Thursday, he writes: "I'm back in the loony bin trying to get my s**t right. "I've now been clean for 115 days and I'm back in a mental institution...I did so much cocaine, Ketamine, Pcp, nitrous oxide and all sorts of other drugs that, quite simply, my brain is f**ked up." Hey, in all seriousness, I hope he gets well and I hope this serves as a warning to others..........I know this will upset the majority of you reading this but I have to break it to you...Legendary pop super group Abba will never perform together on stage again. Why? It's because they refuse to tarnish their reputation by becoming a "cover band". Sorry..........Downey vs. Cohen??? Robert Downey Jr. is reportedly close to signing a deal to play Sherlock Holmes in Guy Ritchie's forthcoming movie about the fictional detective. The star was drawn to the iconic role after he was shown the British filmmakers vision of the new Holmes by Warner Bros bosses. The thespian will go head to head with comedian Sacha Baron Cohen, who is also set to play the classic Sir Arthur Conan Doyle crime buster on the big screen.......... In even MORE bad news a Sopranos movie will never happen - because creator David Chase can't decide how to take the mob drama to the big screen. Rumors of a film have circulated since the last episode of the Emmy-winning series aired last year, and a number of cast members have voiced their support for a cinema adaptation. But film maker Peter Bogdanovich, who has appeared in and directed several episodes of the show, claims Chase told him privately it will never happen. Bogdanovich says, "I spoke to David Chase about it a month ago, and he said no. He said he thought about it, and he can't figure a way to do it. So I don't think it will ever happen. I don't think you can ever say never, but my hunch is it won't happen." Ummm, if he needs some suggestions all he has to do is go to any number of message boards. Heck, drop me an email at stevethegoose@gmail.com and I'll help you out!
STEVE SALUTE!
I didn't want to give it to them but I had to. This week it goes to Warner Bros..They made my day when they spiked rumors that had spread over the Internet that, following the recent success of the movie version of Sex and the City a movie version of Friends was now in the works. I would hate for them to have to ruin the continuity of the Joey spin off.
Alright, let's get down to business. What's the Hollywood 5 & 1? It's real simple; I go through 5 things out of Hollywood this past week that made me scratch my head and 1 item that's not so bad. Got it? Good. Let's go!
The 5
A Gathering of Fools...Indeed!
It was just a matter of time. Paris Hilton is hoping to team up with fellow tabloid targets Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan for a new reality show about their lives in the spotlight. The socialite wants to produce the two-hour special, which she hopes will include candid revelations from the stars, reports the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper. Hilton was reportedly inspired by the success of Denise Richards: It's Complicated, which is produced by American Idol host Ryan Seacrest. Curse you Seacrest! You did it again! Still, it has to be a little bit humorous that Denise Richards actually inspired somebody. Even if it is Paris Hilton. The sad part is you know it will do banger in the ratings and inspire future shows featuring Amy Winehouse, Miley Cyrus, and Jessica Simpson. And don't get me started on the possibility of a buddy show featuring Lynne Spears and Dina Lohan. **SHUDDER** What can we do to stop this?
Sacha Strikes Back
Should I put a SPOILER ALERT here? I guess I will. ***SPOILER ALERT***
Sacha Baron Cohen has claimed his first victim as part of his new prankster movie, setting up an Israeli analyst for an outrageous interview about the Middle East conflict. Cohen famously lured unwitting members of the public into appearing in his hit 2006 comedy Borat: Cultural Learnings Of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation Of Kazakhstan. Now the British comic is filming a follow-up: Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt. Let's see how they put that on the boards outside the theater. The movie will feature another of Cohen's creations, Bruno, an Austrian fashion journalist, and Israeli expert Yossi Alpher admits he has already been targeted by the funny man and his undercover movie crew. Alpher was invited to be interviewed about the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict, but instead found himself being asked ludicrous questions confusing Gaza's ruling Hammas group to savory starter hummus - and comparing the political situation in the region to Brad Pitt's love life. He says, "One of us mentioned Hammas, and the exchange that ensued went something like this: 'Vait, vait. Vat's zee connection between a political movement and food. Vy hummus?' "'Hamas,' we explained, 'is a Palestinian Islamist political movement. Hummus is a food.' Then, the interviewer declared, 'Your conflict is not so bad. Jennifer-Angelina is worse.'" Do you want even more spoilers? Yeah? You do? Looks like MMA isn't spared either. Cohen sparked outrage in Arkansas after hijacking a cage fighting contest with a display of gay kissing. I hope this doesn't give Dana White any ideas. He infuriated fans at the Blue Collar Brawlin' event when the participants stripped down to their underwear and kissed. More than 1,600 spectators threw beer and chairs at the act. Dwight Duncan, president of the Four States Fair Grounds which provided the venue said: "We had a contract for cage fighting. We were deceived." Deceived...or curious?
Looking for a Sign of the Apocalypse? Here it is!
How do I take this news? Can't say I'm surprised...because nothing he does now surprises me. He does know they are grown up now, right? Michael Jackson is set to revive his music career by teaming up with reformed boy band New Kids On The Block. The musician has held a number of secret talks with the band who will go on tour for the first time in 20 years in September. And Jackson has agreed to collaborate with them as he attempts to reignite his music career after his acquittal for child abuse charges three years ago. New Kids On The Block singer Donnie Wahlberg says, "It's very exciting. It's one big party and everyone wants to join us." I hear Tiffany wants to make a comeback too!
Man in the Boat...Overboard!
This shouldn't be on here. It really shouldn't. But it made me laugh so it gets the nod. "Actor" Verne Troyer almost drowned when his ex-girlfriend tried to spice up their love life with a romantic bath. Enjoy the imagery there. "Aspiring" actress Ranae Shrider, who stars in a recently leaked sex tape with Troyer, wanted to surprise the diminutive actor with a sexy soak during an Easter break at the luxury L'Ermitage Hotel in Beverly Hills. Nice. I think I left my phone charger the last time I stayed there. But the two foot, eight inch tall star struggled to keep his head above the water after joining Shrider in the bathtub. She recalls, "I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub. Sadly, I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in, he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him. As he disappeared under the water, I heard this tiny yelp for help. I could just hear him crying, 'Ranae, I can't see! Get me out, I'm drowning!' I was frantic and started to scoop the bubbles out so I could find him. The bath was only about three feet deep but for someone of Verne's size, it was like he'd fallen into the deep end of a swimming pool, and he can't swim. I put my hand under and eventually felt his bald head and hauled him out. I couldn't believe I'd tried to do something sexy and ended up almost killing him. He looked like a drowned rat." Now that would have been something I would have liked to see on tape! Glad to see he's ok though.
Hollywood Hates Us
I had to lump 2 pieces of steak with all the sizzle. But this stuff is actually kind of important. In part 1 we have Viacom's efforts to keep its TV shows and movies off YouTube. Seems they have a court ruling that could have profound implications for websites in general. Under the ruling the video website must turn over to Viacom the user names, but not the actual names, of every YouTube user, their IP addresses and a list of videos that each user has watched on YouTube. Under the ruling, the data would only be disclosed to Viacom and would not be made public. Google, which owns YouTube, expressed disappointment with the ruling but did not indicate whether it plans to appeal. Wow. That whoosh sound you just heard is some of our civil rights flying out the door. In part 2 we have what we already knew verified. The nation's multiplexes are providing less variety to patrons than they once did and are instead running fewer movies on more screens, Chicago Tribune entertainment columnist Mark Caro observed. He noted that while Chicago's River East multiplex boasts 21 screens, it is showing only 12 movies; another Chicago multiplex, 600 No. Michigan, is showing 13 movies on 30 screens. Caro comments,"And you wonder why movies don't hang around so long: It's because theater chains would rather overload their screens with the current 'greatest hits' than offer a wider selection of movies that actually might require some positive word-of-mouth." So outside another strike, poorly done remakes, and lack of creativity we have proof of the disdain Hollywood has for its audience. Too bad we won't do anything about it.
& 1 DC Comics Brings it!
I would love to be at this superhero summit! Warner Bros. and DC Comics are holding high-level talks to hammer out a master strategy for their stable of superheroes. Yes! Now control yourselves gentlemen. Both hands please. Warner's has never had such a strategy (REALLY! SHOCKING!), and there have long been complaints the studio has been slow to exploit a potential treasure trove of franchises. And while the studio is basking in critical love for "The Dark Knight," it has watched studio rivals rake in big bucks from Marvel Comics characters, and Marvel itself get into the tent pole business. The studio is keeping details of its meetings under wraps, but issued a statement saying, in part, "We're constantly looking at how best to exploit the DC Comics characters and properties." But Warner and DC have often appeared lethargic in getting comic properties developed into films, with only Batman and Superman established in movies. I've got my fingers crossed, but hopefully something good comes out from all this. By good I mean well made movies, not just a pile of flashy outfits, expensive explosions, and poor scripts.
