The Hollywood 5 & 1 07.19.08

Posted by Steve Gustafson on 07.19.2008

Who's single again? Who hooked up with Alice Cooper and is telling tales after school? Paparazzi! Top 10 Villains! Plus, plenty of other news for you to whine and complain to me about! What else are you going to do today?

Hey there! Welcome back to the Hollywood 5 & 1! I'm your host, Steve Gustafson, and I read every gossip rag, visit every celebrity related web site, and call to my vast network in Hollywood to find the slightly offbeat news you might have missed during the week. Or just ignored. Do you have something to contribute? A celebrity sighting? A funny story? Shoot me an email at [e-mail]. All emails answered in a timely manner!


Do Me a Favor
Eh, no one I really want to throw a birthday shout out to today. Check back next week.

Quote of the Week
"I can't stand Hugh Grant. go away, you boring little man. I don't feel sorry for stars who've got loads of money and still behave badly, like Lindsay Lohan. Nobody wants to hear whining celebrities. I see it as my mission to eradicate whining celebrities."
TV talent show judge Piers Morgan, who has apparently embarked on a mission to wipe out celebrities who complain about fame.

THE STUFF THAT JUST MISSED THE LIST STARTS...NOW...
I had to break a lot of sweaty hearts when I announced the engagement but now I can tell you to put down the breakfast burrito and have hope...Salma Hayek has called off her engagement to billionaire fiance Francois-Henri Pinault...........In heart warming news about celebrities who need more free stuff...Robert Downey Jr is cruising around Hollywood in a new $200,000 Bentley, a gift to him from movie bosses because of the success of Iron Man. Must be nice..........Former movie siren Raquel Welch is set to reveal all about her life in an explosive new memoir. Sources claim it will lift the lid on her relationships with Warren Beatty, Sean Connery, Richard Burton and rocker Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper?!?! The book, tentatively titled Secrets of Timeless Appeal, is scheduled for release next year..........In news that about guys I don't like: Actor Zach Braff is to hang up his scrubs and quit the TV medical comedy. He's like a real life Ross from Friends. But more annoying..........This is kinda crazy. In-flight movies will become a thing of the past on US Airways beginning in November, the airline said Wednesday. It noted that equipment and monitors on an average flight weigh about 500 pounds, raising the cost of fuel. Eliminating the movie services will result on a $10-million savings for the airline, it said. US Airways: Going Green in New Ways!..........Lindsay Lohan's alleged half-sister wants to meet her famous siblings, but is snubbing the man who could be her father. She told TV show The Insider, "I would love to meet my siblings, I'd love that, but not with him. "It's just weird knowing I have brothers and sisters who don't even know that I exist." You know, I threw this in just to get my quota of Lindsay Lohan news in. Shame on me..........Alright! Good news time! Christian Bale will reprise his role as Batman for the third time, but only if director Chris Nolan is at the helm. He told Britain's GQ magazine, "I would certainly hope (Nolan) would be on board for a third installment of Batman. If he wasn't I'd have to think long and hard about whether I'd want to continue myself." Have you seen this yet? If not, finish this column and get!..........File this under: Will They Ever Learn? Matthew McConaughey is turning his attentions to a new project, he has set up his own record company. Wow. And look at this! He has already signed his first act, a reggae singer, and is approaching other major music labels for backing. A source tells New York gossip column Page Six, "He's looking for a distribution deal with all the major labels for his own label. His first artist is a reggae guy called Mishka. The album will be called Above the Bones and the first single is Here Comes Da Train." I guess I better drop a line to the 411mania music staff and give them the heads up.

STEVE SALUTE!
Goes to Alyssa Milano. She has sworn off dating baseball players, because they are too childish. Dear Alyssa, I don't play baseball. Love, Steve at [e-mail]


Alright, let's get down to business. What's the Hollywood 5 & 1? It's real simple; I go through 5 things out of Hollywood this past week that made me scratch my head and 1 item that's not so bad. Got it? Good. Let's go!

The 5

TIME TO LIST
Everyone loves list! They are great to debate about and this one is no different. Ralph Fiennes' Lord Voldemort character in the Harry Potter films has been named the best movie villain of all time. Hmmm...Interesting. Editors of Moviefone ranked Fiennes; James Earl Jones and Hayden Christensen's Darth Vader; Margaret Hamilton's Wicked Witch of the West and Sir Anthony Hopkins' Hannibal Lecter in the on screen evil stakes. A Moviefone editor explains the decision to crown Voldemort the most dastardly, "He is the most powerful dark wizard to ever wave a wand. What's more, he schemes to dominate the whole world. Without his slithering presence, would J.K. Rowling be the best-selling author of all time? The answer, a resounding "No." Alright, time to make THE CONFESSION! I have only seen the first Harry Potter movie and tried to read the books. Sorry, not for me. Send complaints and hate mail to [e-mail]. Attention: COMPLAINTS AND HATE DEPARTMENT. What do I think of the list? It's cool. Any list is open to opinion and this is something I'm sure the top staff here at 411mania are going to cover in the near future. The top ten is as follows:
1: Lord Voldemort, Harry Potter - Ralph Fiennes
2: Darth Vader, Star Wars -James Earl Jones, Hayden Christensen
3. Wicked Witch Of The West, The Wizard Of Oz - Margaret Hamilton
4. Hannibal Lecter, Silence Of The Lambs - Anthony Hopkins
5. Joker, The Dark Knight - Heath Ledger
6. Goldfinger, Goldfinger - Gert Frobe
7. Chigurgh, No Country For Old Men - Javier Bardem
8. Hans Gruber, Die Hard - Alan Rickman
9: Max Cady, Cape Fear - Robert De Niro
10: Queen, Snow White And The Seven Dwarves - Lucille La Verne.

Haven't They Heard of Good Will Humping?
I like how this is shocking news to everyone! Steve Carell's new film Get Smart has been given the porn treatment. Just a month after the film hit cinemas in America, Hustler Video has wrapped on sex parody Get Smartass. I've heard better. C- for effort. In the new DVD, Agent Maxwell Smartass and his sidekick Agent 69 fight a team of crack seductresses from the evil organization P.E.N.I.S. Ok, that I like. Director Stuart Canterbury says, "We always like to work on something comedic, and this show was such an obvious target for parody. "We were able to build sets which matched the look of the original (TV series), and the girls could really get into the parts as evil seductresses. It is full of hot sex, but it keeps you laughing; we laughed when we made it." The film features Kayla Paige, Britney Amber, Eden Adams, Envi, Veronica Jett and Veronica Rayne. People do know that they take every movie and give it the porn treatment right? Even Gigli got a little something. Google it.

Paparazzi Hit a New Low...If That's Possible
This is unreal! Maggie Gyllenhaal had an brush of what it's like to be a celebrity new mom when members of the paparazzi reported a fake fire at the actress' apartment block, just so she'd come out into the street with her baby. Wait...I didn't see this hit the news in a major way, but to me this is incredibly low, bordering on despicable. Like me, she still can't believe the lengths some people will go to just to get a photograph, but the early morning fire alarm was the lowest blow for her. She says, "The paparazzi were just really awful to us. I mean, they called the fire department and told them there was a fire in our little, tiny building in the West Village (New York) so that we would have to come outside with a five-day-old baby." She tells the Los Angeles Times newspaper, "I was trying to navigate my way through that (media intrusion) when this offer came. "I thought, `It's going to push that stuff further probably.' But what am I going to do? I'm going to hide and not do things that are appealing to me? I'm an actress." Like I've mentioned in the past, it's only when the paparazzi kill someone will any kind of law be passed to curb their ways. Makes me happy to see a story like this next one.

Celebs Strike Back
Pregnant Minnie Driver has applauded the angry surfers who came to her rescue when a quiet day at the beach turned into a paparazzi invasion last month. Can't say I blame her. They got what was coming to them and I think we'll see more of this behavior in the future. Let the Pap Wars Begin! Back to the story! Driver, actor pal Colin Farrell and his young son were relaxing at Paradise Cove in Malibu, California when an army of photographers targeted them for pictures. Farrell himself challenged one group of snappers but when he was outnumbered, local surfers stepped in to let the cameramen know they weren't welcome. A brawl broke out between snappers and surfers, with some paparazzi forced to defend themselves from beatings as they were dragged into the sea with their expensive equipment. I wish we got footage of that! Driver says, "We were chased off the beach by these paparazzi and then my local community and my lovely friends and neighbors took serious umbrage at the fact that their community had been so disrupted by these people, who were just total piranhas. Whilst (Wow, cool word alert!) I don't condone the violence at all, I think they (surfers) were just defending people trying to have a normal afternoon. Colin has a little son and I'm pregnant, so it was just sort of disgusting and wrong. It wasn't a happy experience of taking lovely pictures; it was rabid and weird. The Malibu community was defending us, which was really nice. It didn't stop the guy from selling his pictures for $80,000, but, hey, maybe a punch in the mouth was worth it for him." And Driver is happy the incident has prompted local officials to boost the police presence on the beaches, so celebrities can sunbathe in peace: "Now we have sheriffs patrolling our beach, which I kind of love." I'll say it again. This is only going to get worse. For both sides.

Fat Men Reach a Tipping Point
It started with television. Not naming names, but shows that featured fat guys with hot wives. (KING OF QUEENS!) Then it hit the big screen. Nerds with hot girls. (KNOCKED UP!) Consider this the universe righting itself. America's first couple of comedy, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman, have ended their five year romance. A representative for late night U.S. TV host Kimmel and the comedienne has confirmed the split, insisting it was mutual. Just five months ago the pair hit the headlines when their star-studded parody sketches for Kimmel's show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, became an Internet sensation. Silverman's I'm F**king Matt Damon tune and video was followed by Kimmel's I'm F**king Ben Affleck. Maybe there was more to the videos than we thought. Maybe. Ok, I know for some it was a stretch to call Sarah hot. The point is, stuff like this gives people false hope. Like skinny actresses to young girls, Hollywood is projecting unreal expectations to overweight guys all over! Let's hope this brings balance back to the world. Ok, ok, send all COMPLAINTS and HATE EMAIL to [e-mail].



& 1
Gervais, Hero to Lost Dogs Everywhere
As a dog owner, I give this the big thumbs up! What a crazy story though. Comedian Ricky Gervais is leading the search for a puppy which was stolen in London. The funny man was outraged when he heard the story of Manon, an eight-month-old whippet, taken from her owner during a walk on Hampstead Heath last month. And Gervais, who lives near the north London park, has joined the campaign to help find the pup, by appealing for information on British radio and offering a $2,000 reward. He said in the on-air appeal, "This lovely little whippet puppy was stolen from Hampstead Heath. It's a little eight-month-old whippet puppy. It's fawn and it's got little tiger stripes and grey eyes. They know it's stolen because its collar was discarded. It's beautiful and the reason we've got to do a national appeal is that these dogs aren't usually found in the local area. The people who steal them then take them to Southampton or Kent and sell them. There's a clock ticking because it's on a special diet under veterinary supervision so they won't be feeding it right, because they won't know it needs this diet." And The Office star admits that it isn't the first time he has lent a hand to help his local community. He adds, "I am known as the dog finder, I've done this once before." I applaud Mr. Gervais!


Thanks again and be safe out there.

Courage!