The Big Screen Bulletin 07.28.08: The Ultimate Guide to Batman

Posted by Chad Webb on 07.28.2008

This week the Bulletin uncovers the Ultimate Guide to Batman, the box office results, SAG strike updates, "Hairsprsay 2", the end of Ebert & Roeper, a "Rocky Horror" remake, new DVD releases, and the trailer for OIiver Stone's "W."

THE ULTIMATE GUIDE TO BATMAN

Since Batman is on the minds of just about everyone these days, I thought it appropriate to examine a timeline of the Caped Crusader's shows and films. I will not pretend to have seen every adaptation ever made, but I will say I think I have included the vast majority readers will be familiar with. I am also not going over any Justice League or Super Friends series or movies. By the way, for the television shows, I base my rating on the fact that I have seen 5 or more episodes.

Batman has been, and always will be, my favorite comic book character. I have been watching the movies and collecting the toys since I was a kid. In perusing his history on the screen, I have noticed that Batman has been afforded a fairly admirable hand with regard to his incarnations. Of course, there are notable exceptions. Please remember that you will not see all the films involving Batman here, so know that before you decide to comment. I heard that the Batman character is in the first episode of Birds of Prey. I have yet to watch that show, but plan to soon. The titles with ratings at the end are obviously the efforts I have seen. Without further ado, I present the timeline guide to Batman.

1943 Batman (Serial) - This was a 15 chapter serial that is marked as the first filmed appearance of Batman with Lewis Wilson as the man himself. They apparently called his lair "The Bat's Cave." Batman and Robin battle the evil Japanese spy Dr. Zaka. He turns people into pseudo-zombies. This was made during World War II so it is packed with racial slurs. It is available on DVD.




1949 Batman and Robin (Serial) - This was also a 15 chapter serial released by Columbia Pictures with Robert Lowry as Batman. The Dynamic Duo battles an evil wizard whose identity is kept secret until the end. The budget was actually lower than the first, while the acting is commonly praised as superior. This to is on DVD.





1966 Batman The Movie - This I own, and although I prefer the darker brooding Batman/Bruce Wayne, I believe plenty of room exists for Adam West and Burt Ward. This is such a goofy storyline that has four of Batman's arch nemesis's join forces with an invention that dehydrates people. The silly one-liners, the "Pow's", the "Thwap's", and all the ridiculousness make this tremendous fun. Rating = 7.5/10.0





1966 - 1968 Batman - The television series, also starring Adam West and Burt Ward, ran for 2 and ½ seasons. Many fans did not like that the Dynamic Duo were portrayed in a campy psychedelic live-action show, but it saved the comic from being cancelled according to Bob Kane, took ABC out of ratings slump, and propelled the Joker and Riddler to the forefront of the villain line-up. Granted, since this has yet to be released on DVD, I certainly cannot describe how it has aged, but in re-watching the movie, and recalling the classic episodes in my head, I can say it is enjoyable on a "so bad it's good level." Rating = 7.0/10.0




1968 - 1969 The Batman/Superman Hour -This was a Filmation animated series that aired on CBS, and marked the first Saturday morning vehicle for Batman. 34 stories were produced in 6 and ½ minute segments. Last I checked, this is available on varying formats if you dig them up on Amazon and Ebay.



1977 - 1978 The New Adventures of Batman - This is another Filmation animated show with the Dynamic Duo fighting crime in Gotham City. This has no Alfred and no Riddler, but it does have Ergo the Bat-Mite who is Batman's biggest fan.





1989 Batman - Director Tim Burton reinvents Batman for the big screen as a dark character who speaks very little. Michael Keaton slips on the rubber suit, and Jack Nicholson plays the Joker. I love this film now just as much as when I first saw it. So many unforgettable moments will be etched in my head forever. The two Nolan films are better as a whole than both of Burton's together, but that does not mean this then becomes worse. Rating = 10.0/10.0





1992 Batman Returns - Burton returns to the helm for this sequel with Michael Keaton again as Bruce Wayne/Batman. This time Danny DeVito stars as Penguin and Michelle Pfeiffer is Catwoman. The main reason this is not as outstanding as the original is that Burton concentrated heavily on visuals and less on action and coherent story threads. Still, this was spectacular in many ways. Rating = 8.5/10.0




1992 -1995 Batman: The Animated Series - In the eyes of many, this is the definitive version of any Batman in cartoon form. I respect the legacy of this series, and the voice work of Kevin Conroy, but most episodes, with the exception of a few, struck me as pedestrian and lackluster in terms of story structure and animation style. I will cite more reasons in the blurbs for other animated shows. Perhaps I was a bit harsh initially, and upon further review, I have increased the rating slightly, but I stand by my complaints. Rating = 7.0/10.0




1993 Batman: Mask of the Phantasm - This was released theatrically for those who don't know. The first animated Batman film was superb in my opinion. I feel this would go on to influence future renditions in several ways. The mystery was terrific, the origin flashbacks were well integrated, and the animation was excellent. Kevin Conroy signs on and becomes THE voice of the Dark Knight for years. Eric Radomski and Bruce Timm directed, while Alan Burnett wrote the screenplay. Highly recommended. Rating = 8.5/10.0



1995 Batman Forever - Director Joel Schumacher hops on board the franchise and begins to destroy it. Val Kilmer replaces Michael Keaton as Batman and brings along oodles of annoying one-liners and jokes for viewers endure. Tommy Lee Jones was a clown as Two-Face, and unfortunately Chris O'Donnell joins as Robin. The only two aspects I approve of were Jim Carrey as the Riddler and Nicole Kidman as the super hot love interest for Bruce Wayne. Not a total loss, but certainly not a thumbs up. Rating = 6.0/10.0



1997 Batman and Robin - Let me get this straight. This is just as horrible as it has been made out to be, but I'd be lying if I said I couldn't watch this and laugh. It has reached a "so atrocious it is comical" level for me personally. I wouldn't even know where to get started on what all went wrong. I'll just say too many displays of butts and nipples. Rating = 2.5/10.0




1997 - 1999 The New Batman Adventures - In this series the animation was adjusted for a sleeker look, and the focus was less on Batman, and more on the various characters as a whole. Despite some of the controversy regarding the relationship between Bruce Wayne, Barbara Gordon, and Dick Grayson, I liked how this embraced the universe, and altered the atmosphere a bit for a deeper, more intriguing cartoon overall. This is available on DVD, but under the heading of Batman: The Animated Series Volume 4. Rating = 7.5/10.0



1998 Batman & Mr. Freeze: Sub-Zero - Of the Direct-to-DVD animated Batman films, this is without question one of the weakest, partially because of the focus on Robin and not Batman. I have always loved Mr. Freeze as a cartoon villain, but he is utilized badly here with a paper-thin premise that borders on sleepy. It is also too short, and when it picks up towards the conclusion, it was too late. Boyd Kirkland, the man who directed the Mister T cartoon, was responsible for this. Rating = 6.0/10.0



1998 The Batman/Superman Movie - This was a made-for-TV movie that revealed how Batman: The Animated Series and Superman: The Animated Series took place in the same universe. As both shows were, this is humdrum and dull with a garbage sub-plot where Bruce dates Lois Lane. The identities are so obvious here that it bothered the hell out of me. Both heroes are portrayed as possessing equal abilities when that is definitely not the case at all. The last portion was ok, but this was basically a disappointment. Rating = 6.0/10.0




1999 - 2001 Batman Beyond - This is my favorite Batman cartoon series primarily due to the fact that it offers a fresh take on the character and the city of Gotham. Bruce Wayne is the aging mentor and remains at the Batcave to guide Terry McGinnis. I thought Terry McGinnis was a funny and suitable new addition. His wise-cracking and immaturity made perfect sense, and the new Bat suit was incredibly cool. There was a DVD released entitled Batman Beyond: The Movie, but it was only 45 minutes long, so I roped that in with this entry. 9.0/10.0




2000 Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker - This Direct-to-DVD movie from the aforementioned series is a brilliant, ambitious, and multifaceted adventure that examines the inner feelings of these super heroes, the pent up frustration of retirement, and the pain of old memories. This does require some knowledge of past events, but regardless, it is easily one of the finest of the animated Batman cannon. Unfortunately Netflix, in their infinite wisdom, sent me the cut version, but the true spirit and intelligence of this shined through nonetheless. Rating = 9.0/10.0



2003 Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman - Considering that I liked The New Adventures of Batman, and since this is held in the same universe, I will reiterate how the redesigned animation is visually more invigorating than the classic series. This was a magnificent story that keeps all ages guessing. It is gutsy, action-packed, and fascinating to watch. The cheesy romance is a downside, but the rest is surprisingly solid. Rating = 8.0/10.0




2004 - ???? The Batman - The newest cartoon series has a lot of detractors for many reasons. This started on the heels of Batman Begins, was an excuse to put toys in stores, and drastically altered the universe of the Dark Knight. He always has "the" attached to his name, he is younger, and the villains look much different. U2's Edge does the eerie theme song, and many key players are missing. I think this is a perfectly acceptable show, even if it concentrates on visuals instead of story. It is not flawless by any stretch, but for a half-hour cartoon, it is effective for the kiddies. Rating = 7.0/10.0



2005 Batman Begins - The reboot of Batman was met with enormous success. The origin story of how Bruce Wayne became Dark Knight is riveting. The performances are top-notch, the action is mesmerizing, and Christopher Nolan's direction is marvelous. I had two problems: Katie Holmes and the Tumbler jumping from roof to roof as if it were easy. The sequence kicked a$$, but the jumps became a tad outlandish. Other than that, this is awesome. 9.0/10.0




2005 The Batman vs. Dracula - This is not the first time in Batman's history where he met Dracula. Batman Dracula from 1964, made by Andy Warhol, and Batman Fights Dracula from 1967, made in the Philippines. Neither was authorized by DC comics. This particular tale takes two characters we are very familiar with and does absolutely nothing to twist to turn the viewer. I found this film to be very hackneyed and unoriginal. One scene still stands out though. Joker robs a blood bank and at one point, blood is raining on top of him. The odd thing is that The Batman series is intended for smaller children, whereas this is very violent. Rating = 5.5/10.0



2008 Batman: Gotham Knight - As a bit of trivia, this takes place between the events of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight. Six different directors collaborate to construct six different stories in the first hyperlink cartoon film I've seen. This is a solid piece of work from DC. I did have my favorite segments, but the animation was great, the voices were good, and it was very commendable. I suppose this has a slight edge as my favorite animated Batman flick to date, mainly because the crew went above and beyond every other past film with visuals, script complexity, and amount of entertainment. Rating = 9.0/10.0




2000 The Dark Knight - Last but not least. I've said all I need to for this masterpiece. I wish I had the time to write a second review. Listen to the podcast (see the link at the bottom) for more thoughts, or read my full review by clicking right here and the score here. Rating = 10.0/10.0

The News Bulletin

More Box Office Records Set in Gotham
Warner Bros.' Batman sequel "The Dark Knight" earned a record-breaking $75.6 million in its second weekend from 4,366 theaters, bringing its domestic cume to $314.2 million and putting it on track to reach $400 million in slightly more than a week from now. It was another sunny weekend at the domestic B.O. overall. Sony's Will Ferrell-John C. Reilly comedy "Step Brothers" opened to plenty of laughs in grossing an estimated $30 million from 3,094 runs, while Universal holdover "Mamma Mia" dipped only 36% in its second weekend to grab an estimated $17.9 million from 2,990 runs for a cume of $62.7 million in its first 10 days, according to Rentrak.

The only title coming in on the lower end of expectations was 20th Century Fox's "The X-Files: I Want to Believe," which opened to an estimated $10.2 million from 3,185 runs. Pic placed No. 4, behind "Dark Knight," "Step Brothers" and "Mamma Mia," respectively. Studios weren't sure they could match the strength of the same weekend a year ago, when Fox's "The Simpsons Movie" opened to a boffo $74 million. The weekend was down only slightly from last year by roughly 1%. Thanks to the runaway success of Christopher Nolan's "Dark Knight," Warners crossed the $1 billion mark in 2008 ticket sales on Sunday, earlier in the year than ever before. Warners predicts it will overtake Paramount for top in marketshare by the end of the coming week.

Imax continues to see record-breaking results as well. (Nolan shot several segments with large-format cameras.) For the weekend, "Dark Knight's" Imax haul was $4.6 million from 94 theaters for a per location average of $48,500. The previous record-holder for best second weekend at the domestic box office was "Shrek 2," which earned $72 million over Memorial Day weekend. "Dark Knight" didn't have the benefit of a holiday.

No shocker here. The Dark Knight is well on track to become one of the highest grossing films of all-time. Step Brothers debuted about where it should, and Mamma Mia should continue to attract the female gender for a few weeks more. I'm kind of surprised that folks are describing the position of The X-Files: I Want to Believe as a letdown. Nothing against the show, but did the studio actually think it had a big enough audience to even attempt a shot at #1? Credit is certainly due for Journey to the Center of the Earth for staying in the top 5. The bottom of the top 10 are holdovers. Wall-E is about to top $200 million. Next week is tough, but I am going with The Dark Knight again. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emporer just does not look near good enough.






SAG Negotiations Continue
SAG's national board has unanimously backed its negotiating committee's stance that the majors' final offer is unacceptable because it allows non-union work in new-media productions. The vote, taken at an all-day meeting Saturday, probably means the month-long stalemate between SAG and the congloms will persist for the foreseeable future. The resolution said, "It is a core principle of Screen Actors Guild -- That no non-union work shall be authorized to be done under any Screen Actors Guild agreement and; That all work under a Screen Actors Guild contract, regardless of budget level, shall receive fair compensation when reused." The Alliance of Motion Picture & Television Producers responded with a statement indicating that it's not going to revise the deal.

"The continued refusal of SAG's negotiators to accept AMPTP's final offer means that actors will continue to work indefinitely under the expired contract - an old contract that contains none of the $250 million in additional compensation provided by AMPTP's final offer, and an old contract that provides none of the new media rights and residuals that other Hollywood Guild members have now been enjoying for months," it said. SAG noted that the resolution -- passed 68-0 -- represented "guidance" for its negotiating committee. National exec director Doug Allen said the resolution reiterates what he's been telling the majors.

"For some time, we have been telling the industry how important it is for all new media productions under our contract to be done union and how important residuals for made-for new media programming are when programs are re-run on new media," he said in a statement. "I am very pleased that our national board today unanimously confirmed these essential principles in support of our national negotiating committee." SAG made the announcement early Saturday evening. The companies made their final offer on June 30, just before SAG's feature-primetime contract expired.

SAG's national board -- despite deep divisions between those repping Hollywood and the rest of the country -- reiterated the guild's earlier position: the new-media portions of the AMPTP deal can't be accepted because they allow non-union work. SAG's asserted repeatedly that it must get a better deal than the DGA, WGA and AFTRA and it's honed in on low-budget productions for new media.

"The DGA and WGA represent writers and directors, not actors," Allen said in a message to members on July 17. "Their resolution of the new-media issues may work for them, but they don't address your specific needs. The DGA and WGA agreed to allow producers to make new-media productions entirely non-union, at the producers' option, for projects below budgets of $15,000 per minute (effectively, almost all new-media productions for the foreseeable future)." Allen also complained on July 17 that the AMPTP offer to SAG doesn't include residuals for programs made for new media and streamed again on ad-supported new-media platforms -- except if a program is made for and rerun on a pay platform like iTunes and the budget is more than $25,000 per minute.

The AMPTP reiterated Saturday a previous statement that SAG has permitted non-union Internet production under its contract since 2001. "AMPTP has offered to extend SAG jurisdiction to original new media production, including low-budget programs that employ a single 'covered actor,'" it added. "The AMPTP's final offer also guarantees residuals when original new media productions are reused and terms to increase pay and residuals if the program is eventually exhibited in traditional media. None of these rights and residuals exists under the contract that expired on June 30th."

SAG and the AMPTP last met in an off-the-record meeting on July 16. No future get-togethers have been set. For its part, the AMPTP has blamed SAG for the current stalemate, pointed out that the economy is worsening and touted the strong support among union leaders for the previous deals with the DGA, WGA and AFTRA. The congloms have noted that SAG members would receive $250 million in salary gains over three years along increases in pension and health and the same new-media terms that were included in the other deals.

The latest SAG proclamation is a sign that SAG's leaders believe they can still persuade the majors to sweeten the offer -- even though SAG's strike threat diminished after the July 8 ratification of AFTRA's primetime deal despite the guild's avid "vote no" campaign. SAG's decision to again spurn the AMPTP's final offer came despite the majors' disclosing earlier this month that the offer contained a $10 million retroactivity provision -- as long as SAG ratified the deal by Aug. 15. The $10 million will probably disappear with no guarantee that SAG would be able to get those funds back if it keeps stalling.

SAG did not mention the possibility of a strike in its Saturday night announcement. An authorization vote has not been set and would require at least 75% approval of those voting -- a questionable proposition. The lack of resolution of SAG's contract has slowed down but not completely stopped major feature production. TV production has been largely unaffected. The board meeting took place on the heels of two opposing factions having lined up their candidates for the Hollywood Divisions seats and staked out their positions. The two camps are vying to grab or retain as many seats as they can on SAG's 71-member national board in the guild election set for mid-September.

This is getting tiresome now. The SAG has been stalling for too long, and here again they decline a good offer because they feel they deserve better. If you ask me they should be happy with what they get. I'd be interested to see how others in the SAG felt about this persistent delaying tactic. With the country in the state that it's in, the fact that the SAG is playing games, and possibly hinting toward a strike is frustrating. Luckily hardly any projects have been affected, but imagine how all the productions are feeling as they wait each day for good or bad news. Compromise on a deal and move on with your lives.






Too Many Cans of Hairspray Give Me a Headache
John Waters will write a treatment for a sequel to last year's hit musical feature "Hairspray" for New Line reports Variety. The aim is to pick up the Baltimore saga of the Turnblad family after the resolution of the first film set in 1962. Director/choreographer Adam Shankman, producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, and Tony-winning songwriters Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman will all return in the same capacities. No cast has been set and none of the stars of the first such as John Travolta, Christopher Walken, Zac Efron, Queen Latifah and Michelle Pfeiffer had sequel options. The studio plans to reunite the original cast and have the film out mid-July 2010.

Well, I hated the remake of the Waters film, so the idea of a sequel seems rather absurd to me. I will personally be amazed if the entire original cast returns. I can see the young stars signing on with no dilemma, but Travolta, Walken, and Pfeiffer? No doubt they will want plenty more money. The plot of both the original and the remake at least made sense. Where in the world could Waters possibly take the story? Of course they want to rush it along, so if I had to guess, the story will be terrible.






The Thumbs Are Gone and So Are Ebert & Roeper
America's most famous film critic Roger Ebert and his regular co-host Richard Roeper are leaving their movie review show which first began airing in 1975 with Ebert and the late Gene Siskel. Ebert and ABC have been engaged in difficult contract renegotiations for the past year and its been revealed that the departure is mainly due to ABC wanting to take the show in a more "Entertainment Tonight"-style gossip direction. Their departure, taking place in mid-August, leaves the program's future unclear.

I realize this is a relatively old news bit, but I needed to express my opinion. As a long time fan of the show, this has been cooking for months. When you take away the "thumbs up" and "thumbs down" from the equation, and then have Roeper in newspaper ads with "See It", you know that it has been butchered beyond repair. The absence of Ebert was covered wonderfully at first, but after the 1 year mark passed, and his surgery had still not given him back his voice, you knew a heavy blow was being dealt each week that the Ebert & Roeper logo popped up with someone else. I am certain that the new critics will be quote whores, thus defeating the purpose of having a show all together. I have read that Roeper wants to make a new program somewhere down the road, and I wish him luck. I will miss this show. Admittedly I had stopped watching for awhile primarily because the show looked and felt gutted. I always look forward to Roeper's top 10 lists as it usually closely resembles mine. It is a shame that it will end with few caring. After 33 years, we will not see this on TV anymore. Now it is just Jeffrey Lyons on Reel Talk. This is not a positive sign for aspiring critics.






The Sheriff of Nottingham Has Issues

The Sheriff of Nottingham will not be chasing Robin Hood into England's Sherwood Forest this fall. Although "Nottingham," director Ridley Scott's revisionist take on the Robin Hood tale had been aiming for a mid-August start date, production on the film, which is to star Russell Crowe as a sympathetic Sheriff of Nottingham, has been indefinitely postponed. A new production start date probably couldn't be set now until next year.

Script concerns, location logistics and the current labor unrest all played a role in the decision. Produced by Universal and Imagine, the film has been one of the handful of high-profile productions pushing ahead despite the labor uncertainty surrounding the current stand-off between producers and the Screen Actors Guild. In explaining the production shut-down, Universal cited the "cloud of the SAG strike" as one of three factors that led to the postponement.

It also said that "the film's forest locations need to be green," which suggests even if other factors were to be resolved later this year, the production could not now resume until next spring. The third, key factor was the project's script by Ethan Reiff and Cyrus Voris, with a rewrite by Brian Helgeland. "The current version of the screenplay,"" the studio said, "is not yet where the studio and the filmmakers want it to be in terms of realizing the full value of the story.

"Universal could have moved forward with one of these challenges, but the confluence of the three caused the studio to reconsider and take the time for all conditions to be optimal." The statement said that Universal, Imagine, Scott, and Crowe all remain committed to the project. "Nottingham" had been on track to be released on Nov. 6, 2009.

Well, now it goes to developmental hell with no clear start date set. This is a shame since the Robin Hood saga needed a new trajectory. Obviously the color of the trees is a problem that needs corrected, but this is a major dent from the tentative SAG strike. How can these huge projects begin unless they know for sure that it can progress regularly? The script problems mean that even if a final draft is handed in, the critics and the public will eat it alive. All screenplay trouble percolate for years until the project is finally completed or dies. And what about Ridley Scott? He is a busy man, so will he want to return for this? My confidence in this picture is waning, and that is too bad.

The 20 Second Sermon

Lots of posters were released this week. The Red Sonja posters are as hot as you can get, the Star Trek ones are average, and the poster for Oliver Stone's W requires reading a definition, which is weird. Universal has approached most of the cast from Forgetting Sarah Marshall to do a sequel. I loved the film, but why do we need a sequel for this, and if it does happen, how could the plot possibly make sense? MTV is planning to remake The Rocky Horror Picture Show from 1975. It may include music not featured in the original. This cannot make Will Helm happy. Apparently a Poltergeist remake is also in the works. Please make it stop. It is official, no one in Hollywood has any ideas for any original horror film.

What's Coming to DVD….Buy or Avoid?

DVD Headline of the Week



Shine a Light - The new documentary from Martin Scorsese which has the Rolling Stones play an outstanding show. This is just plain brilliant and well worth owning. Preorderable

Stargate: Continuum - I have yet to watch anything concerning Stargate, and honestly I don't know when I'll start. Someday maybe.

Dark City (Director's Cut) - I can't recall the first time I watched the regular version, but I did enjoy it because I am a Proyas fan. I'm anxious to see how different this new cut is.

Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay - The first film was fairly amusing, but this sequel is horrendous is nearly ever possible way. The plot is insanely stupid, the comedy is overloaded, and the jokes are stale. Forgettable

Lost Boys: The Tribe - The Direct to DVD sequel of the classic vampire film from 1986. It has Corey Feldman and Corey Haim so it must be a straight to video nightmare.

Tyrone Power Matinee Idol Collection - Here is yet another Power box set. This one contains 10 films that look to be among the romance/drama genres. I haven't caught many of these.

Doomsday - Considering Neil Marshall helmed The Descent, this follow-up is disappointing. It is a conglomeration of many classic sci-fi films rolled up into one mediocre mess. Though, Rhona Mitra is a sexy lead. Borrow

War Games (25th Anniversary Edition) - A very good computer genius movie with Ferris Beuller. I haven't seen this since I was little, but it's about time it was double dipped! Buy it Used

The Band's Visit - This foreign film received extremely pleasant reviews, but sadly it was not in theaters long enough for me to see it. I may be able to see it on DVD sometime soon.

Never Back Down - This is one of the worst films of 2008 most definitely. Take The Karate Kid, get bad actors, and turn it into an MMA flick, and you have this. Hell, the DVD is called the "Extended Beat-Down Edition." What else must I say? Trashable

WarGames: The Dead Code - A Direct-to-DVD sequel for the above mentioned 80's movie. Hmm, this one doesn't interest me, but it is being reviewed by someone on 411.

Inglorious Bastards (3-Disc Explosive Edition) - The inspiration for Tarantino's upcoming film finally arrives on DVD. The third disc is the unreleased score. I can't wait to see this at long last.

WWE: Night of Champions - The title is cool, but the card seems underwhelming to me.

Tai Chi Master - A martial arts epic featuring Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh released by Dragon Dynasty. I never knew this existed.

The Critic's Quickee

Mamma Mia! - Now I'm a critic so I prefer to sound intelligent when I speak about a new film, but the only words that come to mind when I think of this latest musical Mamma Mia! are bull shit. Because that is what this movie really is. That may sound harsh, but when an ending deliberately lures the audience in on a false notion, it is plain old cheating, and that is something I refuse to tolerate. Truth be told, even though I detest the music of Abba, whose songs acted as the basis for this film, I will not fault the movie for that. One of the goals in any musical is that the viewer be left with memorable tunes in their heads, and as much as I hate to admit it, "Dancing Queen" and "Winner Takes it All" are catchy. The fact is the horrid conclusion makes all the tiniest flaws stick out like a sore thumb. For the most part, I was enjoying myself as this rolled along. It is very female oriented, but that's ok. You see lots of screaming and jumping and frolicking around the little island, but it's cute for what it is. I knew this was nowhere near perfect, but I was prepared to give it a 3 star rating and call it a day. However the end changed all that. Other problems I had was that I didn't believe in the world this musical was held in. I think that is important, and I'm sorry, but only in this universe would their be a groom named Sky, and only in this film would he have his friends dress up in masks for his bachelor party and subsequently crash the girls' party. I will commend the performance of Meryl Streep. The woman can do anything. She truly is an invincible actress. Her singing is quite good, and she steals many of the famous scenes. Amanda Seyfriend is an attractive young girl that is the center of the story. She is ok as well. The trio of possible fathers is another story. Stellan Skarsgaard and Colin Firth take a back seat to Pierce Brosnan, and that's obvious. This trio have adequate chemistry together until Brosnan starts singing. He is James Bond and Thomas Crown and Remington Steel, but he cannot sing on the level that a mainstream summer musical requires, and what makes it worse is that Director Phyllida Lloyd is constantly doing close-ups on his face which makes certain moments cringe worthy. Many of the songs are introduced with a jarring feeling. You're sitting there listening to dialogue and then all of a sudden a song starts. Maybe some won't care about that, but I like musicals to have nice transitions from dialogue to song. There is a scene where Donna (played by Streep) is running up a mountain singing as her daughter is about to be married, and it is a gorgeous shot. That unfortunately is the best moment, whereas the others are not nearly as proficient. Without spoiling too much, I want everyone familiar with the story to understand I see what they were aiming for with this ending, but that is crap. The fact that the tale unloads an After School Special message makes me angry. The same theme could have been handled a hundred different, but superior ways. Oh and by the way, you must have two best friends only on this island because guess what, if you don't have more or less than that, you are not allowed in the world of Mamma Mia. Final Rating = 4.0/10.0

The Wackness - For all my thoughts on this wonderful new drug comedy, read my full review by clicking here.

Based on the Trailer…

Newest Trailers

W. - You're lying if you say you're not curious. Josh Brolin looks the part with white hair, but as the younger Dubya, he looks like himself. I will definitely see this because it is Oliver Stone, but I have serious doubts since its being rushed for the election. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

RocknRolla - The new thriller from Guy Ritchie. It can't be as bad as Revolver right? He needs a comeback badly, and I hope this is it. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Saw V - This is just a teaser, but it gets the same point across. I am a fan of the series, so I'll certainly be seeing this one. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Body of Lies - The new Ridley Scott pic featuring Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. It looks phenomenal, but that should be expected with such brilliant talent. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Yes Man - A new Jim Carrey comedy where he must say yes to everything. Sounds a bit like Liar Liar, but this is the Carrey humor I have missed for years. It looks pretty funny to me. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

August Releases

Swing Vote - The new Kevin Costner political comedy. The plot of this is absolutely ridiculous, and will only gain money based on middle age to older couples who love Costner from way back. Trailer Rating = 5.5/10.0

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - Months ago when this premise was announced, I laughed at it. Now that the trailer is finally out, it still looks bad. I like Brendan Fraser, but not this new approach with following the son character. I'll see this only out of curiosity. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

The Accidental Husband - How many ways can we package a typical romantic comedy? This doesn't fool me. It is the same old song and dance we get every year, only this time with Uma Thurman and Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

The Rocker - Rainn Wilson from The Office finally gets to star in a comedy of his own…with some Jonah Hill wannabe guy. This actually looks really funny, mainly because I enjoy Rock ‘n Roll and Rainn Wilson. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Star Wars: The Clone Wars - It might be Star Wars, but this movie looks goofy to me. It starts out with an excessive amount of Yodaness which made me chuckle. The animation looks nice, but isn't this a bit of overkill? Ehhh. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 - I generally hate the term "chick flick", but really what else applies here. Never saw the first one, won't see this one, and this trailer is not up my alley. That is all. Trailer Rating = 4.5/10.0

Hell Ride - I've been eager to see this trailer since the poster debuted. This is the red band trailer by the way. This seems to be a funny and action packed film with B-movie roots, and with Tarantino's two cents involved, it can't be all that terrible. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Hamlet 2 - I heard a lot of positive things about this comedy, plus I'm a huge fan of Steve Coogan, who is the star. Catherine Keener and Amy Poehler also star. It is about a high school drama teacher who writes a musical called "Hamlet 2." Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Death Race - Anyone who remembers the Top 10 B-Movie feature a couple years back, knows that the original is a favorite of many staffers here. I must admit, this doesn't look near as bad as anticipated, as long as the Statham routine is toned down. It looks to have nothing in common with the original. I'll see it out of curiosity. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Tropic Thunder - I am liking the plot to this film, and the trailer is pretty funny. Hopefully this is a Ben Still flick I don't hate. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

The Pineapple Express - This is the red band trailer by the way. I Haven't laughed this hard at a trailer in awhile. This is going to be great. The cast is fantastic, and James Franco is being put to good use. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Vicki Christina Barcelona - I want Woody Allen to deliver more great films, and while this cast is certainly fabulous, I think all the hype rests on the threesome scene, which we know will be tame since this is rated PG-13. Allen needs a boost badly. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Disaster Movie - I realize all the bitching about these putrid films has been done, but what really bothers me is that some of the flicks it is parodying are not even out yet. These people have no souls. Trailer Rating = 1.0/10.0

September Releases

Bangkok Dangerous - Nicolas Cage continues his "Next" phase with this assassin story. Ehh, Cage is starting to piss me off. He's such a talented actor, and he does this junk. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Nights in Rodanthe - An adaptation of a novel from Nicholas Sparks, so this might not be too bad for a romance. It has Richard Gere and Diane Lane reuniting from Unfaithful, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Burn After Reading - The new comedy from the Coen Brothers looks funny as hell. I am not totally sure where the plot goes, but then again, that is why I am so fascinated by it. The cast looks great, and I am definitely seeing this one. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Choke - A new adaptation from author Chuck Palahniuk, and that gets me excited. I love his books, though I haven't read this particular one. I will before the movie comes out though. This has Sam Rockwell in the lead, so it should be funny. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Tyler Perry's the Family That Preys - Kathy Bates and Cole Hauser in a Tyler Perry film. That certainly surprised me. This looks to be fairly ambitious for Perry, and might not be as bad as his previous efforts. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Righteous Kill - The new crime thriller with Pacino and De Niro! This looks average at the moment, but it should be fantastic with the two of them as a duo on screen for most of the film. The supporting cast looks excellent as well. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Lakeview Terrace - Patrick Wilson and Samuel L. Jackson star in this thriller about an insane neighbor who is also a cop. This seems sort of like Cape Fearto me, but not nearly as good. Ehhh. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Eagle Eye - Mr. LaBeouf surprises me with every passing role. I'll start giving him more credit. This thriller teaser has me intrigued for sure. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Igor - The concept has potential, but I can't see this being anything more than a couple laughs. John Cusack does not sink into the character well. I'll see this for Steve Buscemi‘s contribution, but I'm not all that impressed. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Duchess - This is a goofy trailer. You wonder who could be introduced, and then the title "The Duchess" comes up, and you wonder why all the hassle of building it up. Knightley is to period pieces as Seagal is to B-movie action. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Miracle at St. Anna - I get annoyed by some of Spike Lee's comments, but he is a fabulous filmmaker, and this new war epic looks marvelous with Derek Luke and Joseph Gordon Levitt. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Blindness - This is a movie that proves how I have changed. It stars Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo. It involves an infection. That sounds rather bland right? Well, it's directed by Fernando Meirelles, a brilliant filmmaker, so I'm in, even though it doesn't sound outstanding. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

October Releases

Quarantine - I suppose this wants to be the Cloverfield of "infected" movies. I say this will suck big time. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

Zack and Miri Make a Porno - Kevin Smith's new comedy looks hilarious. I'm anxious to see this because I know he is a great filmmaker that can flourish outside of Jay and Silent Bob. Note: This may not be online anymore. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Regilulous - Well, Bill Maher is always one to stir up controversy, and I'm sure this documentary will do the trick. I think it looks funny personally, so I'll give it a shot. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

City of Ember - Here is a film that could end up being pretty neat. The cast alone is worth the price of admission. You have Bill Murray, Saoirse Ronan, and Tim Robbins, among others. Gil Kenan is a decent director and the plot is creative, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

High School Musical 3: Senior Year - Oh boy the teaser has arrived. Why do I have the feeling that this will be exactly like the first two, both in plot and level of suckage. Ms. Tisdale is the only tolerable character. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Max Payne - This trailer kicks major a** with the song in the background and Marky Mark as the main character, but then again, so did the Hitman teaser, and it ended up blowing. Remember, this is based on a video game. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

November, TBD, and Beyond Releases

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - This is some sort of weird DVD trailer, but we see the basic layout of the plot, and it is not very funny or interesting. I could care less about this one. Trailer Rating = 4.5/10.0

The Escapist - A British prison break film starring Brian Cox. This is my favorite genre, so I can't wait for this, but in order for this to make a splash, it will have to be something special. The critic quotes being from random guys worries me. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Terminator Salvation - I love Christian Bale, and the Terminator franchise, but I have serious doubts about this. I believe it will be terrible, but I must admit, this teaser was well constructed. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Watchmen - This was the best trailer attached to my Dark Knight screening. Hopefully Zack Snyder can continue to improve his skills after 300. I must read this graphic novel soon. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Star Trek XI - The teaser was superbly placed before Cloverfield, and this causes me to be amped for the next installment despite my doubts about the cast. I hope it's as good as we deserve. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Australia - The new epic from filmmaker Baz Luhrman seems to have left out his usual exaggerated flair. Kidman and Jackman will make a fine team. I think this looks rather good, and the trailer has a splendid piece of music accompanying it. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Defiance - This new Edward Zwick film looks outstanding with Daniel Craig leading the cast in World War II story. This gave me chills. I can't wait. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

The Perfect Game - Though I'm not a baseball fan, I always enjoy watching the Little League World Series. The problem with this film, despite a bad title, is that the preview reveals way too much, so hopefully it has more going for it besides the story, which I'm sure is inspirational. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Punisher: War Zone - This is only a teaser, but I get the impression I have seen all I need to. This sequel (or whatever is in relation to the previous film) looks like an comic action nightmare with cliches up the wazoo. I'm not a fan of the Punishers movies thus far, and this does not look to change that. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - This film looks amazing. David Fincher is the man, I will be waiting to purchase my ticket. A plot about someone who ages backwards has all sorts of possibilities. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

The Spirit - This is the new adaptation from Frank Miller. I'm anxious to see this, but from this teaser, it looks a bit too similar to Sin City. Oh well. I loved that film, so maybe this will be just as entertaining. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Quantum of Solace - I saw this weeks ago, but forgot to rate it here. The new Bond movie looks to be just as awesome as Casino Royale. I can't wait. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

The Day the Earth Stood Still - This teaser illustrates how a classic sci-fi film will probably not update well for this era. I am curious because Keanu Reeves is a suitable choices, but I noticed too much CGI just from this, so that's not a good sign. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Tale of Despereaux - This new Universal CGI film has some cute lines and some exquisite animation, but the plot strikes me as dull. You never know, at least it isn't filled with poop jokes. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Bolt - It takes exactly two seconds to decipher the Disney CGI to the Pixar Disney CGI. This has John Travolta as the lead voice. The hamster seems funny, but the rest doesn't impress me. Trailer Rating = 5.5/10.0

Repo! The Genetic Opera - They keep the music clips to a minimum in the trailer, which was wise. While this certainly intrigues me, the praising quotes from random websites worries me. It could be really bad, but check out the cast. That alone is worth the price of admission. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Outlander - Hmm, I'm not sure about this, but the cast alone is enough for me to buy a ticket. James Caviezel is so talented, but his script choices continue to boggle me (not in a bad way mind you). The idea is shaky, but the effects and acting look good, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Other Stuff to Read

The Best Movies of the Alphabet
411 July Roundtable - This month Owain J. Brimfield takes the reigns and compiled the thoughts of the movie zone staff on the summer releases for July!
The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks - Thanks again to John Meehan for providing my banner here, and for the Alphabet feature.



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