411 Movies Roundtable: August 2008 Part 2

Posted by Owain J. Brimfield on 08.01.2008

The 411 staff continues their monthly roundtable discussion!

Check out PART 1 if you haven't already done so.

Coming Attractions

AUGUST 1ST

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Studio: Universal
Directed by: Rob Cohen
Starring: Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, Luke Ford
The plot: In the Far East, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo Rick (Fraser) and Alex O'Connell (Ford) unearth the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin (Li) - a shape-shifting entity who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago.

Thomas: I'll admit, I'm a sucker for the Mummy series, although I was very skeptical of this one when I heard Rachel Weisz wasn't coming back to reprise the role of Evelyn. Brendan Fraser does a great job as Rick in these movies, but recasting Weisz seemed like a bad decision, even if they did replace her with the very versatile Maria Bello. The first news I heard out of this was pretty iffy, but damn it if repeated viewings of the trailer haven't roped me in. I'm not digging on the role of Alex - the plot device I hated the most out of The Mummy Returns - but as long as it delivers on every other level, I'll walk away a happy man.

Furious: Liked the first two films but not as much as most. They felt like low-rent Indiana Jones movies. Brendan Fraser seems like a guy who's always on a cusp of being a big star but ends up doing movies I wouldn't see at the cinema. No Rachel Weisz is bad but at least they hired Jet Li to spice things up a bit. You've seen the first two flicks, you know what you'll get with this one.

Kristopowitz: While I'm not a fan of director Rob Cohen, the trailers have been fun and I enjoyed the previous two Mummy movies. I'm interested to see how Maria Bello works with Fraser, as Fraser and Rachel Weisz were a great team and it'll be difficult to duplicate that relationship and expand on it with a new actress. We'll see if Cohen pulls it off.

Lealos: I really enjoyed the first Brendan Fraser Mummy movie. It was a fun romp, similar in style to an Indiana Jones adventure with a classic monster. The second movie was an abortion with some of the worst special effects I have ever seen. That Scorpion King abomination at the end was worse than any video game I have seen, much less a Hollywood movie. I hope they clean up those sloppy effects this time because I really like Jet Li and want this to be good. Give me something close to the first one and I'll be happy.

Mitchell: As mentioned earlier, I'm a fan for the Mummy series, which includes Scorpion King for me. Usually, I'm against recasting (despite how great Maggie was in Dark Knight, why didn't they just kill Katie Holmes instead?) but as long as Brendan is Rick I can look past who plays his wife this one time. Plus, maybe, just maybe Jet Li will do something awesome. I already know Michelle Yeoh will.

McGee: The Mummy movies are, by no stretch, "great" films. However, they are lots of fun, and make for the perfect summer diversion. The absence of Rachel Weisz and director Stephen Sommers is a little worrisome, and Rob Cohen is just as schlocky as his predecessor. However, you have to consider that this is just a fun, silly bit of popcorn entertainment, and I'm sure it will serve that purpose just fine. Plus, there's a dragon and a yeti involved. A yeti, people!

Snyder: I know some people will say Rob Cohen directing is a bad sign, but c'mon, the previous films were helmed by Stephen Sommers, not Steven Spielberg. I love Brendan Fraser in the Rick O'Connell role, and all the trailers for this one have made it look like a blast. Still, there are some concerns. Will Maria Bello be a decent replacement for Rachel Weisz? And what's up with Rick O'Connell's son now looking the exact same age as his father (I mean, couldn't they have at least thrown a gray streak in Fraser's hair or something)? But there is a Michelle Yeoh vs. Jet Li fight scene to make up for all of that. I'm betting this will be a tad better than The Mummy Returns, although I doubt it will match the first film.

Brimfield: I have a soft spot for the original, but that's mainly due to Arnold Vosloo rocking all sorts of shit in a decent attempt at a modern-day B-movie. I'll probably catch this as a rental at some point, but it won't be high on my priority list. Jet Li is always cool though.

Swing Vote
Studio: Walt Disney
Directed by: Joshua Michael Stern
Starring: Kevin Costner, Paula Patton, Kelsey Grammer
The plot: When Bud Johnson (Costner) goes to cast his vote for the next U.S. president, a glitch affects his ballot, and protocol allows him to make up his mind at his own discretion. With the entire nation focused on his every move - and, of course, his pending decision - will the admittedly lazy Bud make an informed choice?

Thomas: Ahh, yes. We needed a political comedy for our election year, and who better to screw it up then Kevin Costner? Outside of the shockingly good Mr. Brooks, Costner hasn't been involved in a film I've enjoyed in any capacity since the tolerable Thirteen Days, and before that it was Wyatt Earp. That's two good and one tolerable film in fourteen years and fifteen films. Ouch. Pair this up with an annoying know-it-all daughter, an impossibly contrived premise that stretches the bounds of believability well-past breaking point, and what looks to a sappy feel-good message hammered home with the subtlety of a nuclear bomb, and I'm beyond not enthused for this one.

Furious: Three of my most feared words; "Studio: Walt Disney". Sure, Pixar saved their animation division from mediocrity but Pirates of the Caribbean aside there's not been much to excite on the live action side of things for some time. The plot sounds stupid and Kevin Costner isn't much use nowadays.

Kristopowitz: This movie looks incredibly awful. Instead of being a wicked political satire, it'll likely be a movie about bipartisanship and political moderation, which, as we all know, is just bullshit. Based on the previews, the only one who looks like he's having fun is Kelsey Grammer. Dennis Hopper looks like he's bored out of his mind, as does Costner.

Lealos: Kevin Costner fans will make sure this makes some money but it looks like a really stupid premise to me. This is an Indie drama by the guy who directed the Wesley Snipes DTD B-flick The Contractor, so I don't know what the hell to expect. Kevin Costner as an alcoholic hick? Word of mouth will kill this movie since it is not what Costner's groupies want to see.

Mitchell: I saw the trailer for this movie with my girlfriend and she immediately pulled the "we are not seeing this" card when she head the premise. I'm not a huge fan of Costner's wok in the first place – I liked him in The Bodyguard, and thought he did a decent job with Wyatt Earp, even if I thought Kurt Russell was better - and in the second place I hate know-it-all kids. Now I don't mind kids with a bit of knowledge, but feel good movies like these tend to go overboard with it, and really a nine year old may know how to download porn easier than me, but that doesn't make her more world savvy than your average adult.

McGee: I love Kevin Costner (I even like The Postman), but this just looks like an odd choice. There is certainly the opportunity for some sharp political satire, and the rest of the cast is a fine compliment to Costner. But, unless the trailers are just plain deceptive, this looks like a pretty silly comedy with very little to say about the political process. Maybe I'll be surprised, but I'm not expecting much out of this one.

Snyder: Eh, I don't think this looks as terrible as some of my fellow 411-ers, but I also doubt I'll bother watching it till it ends up on cable. Nothing about this seems to suggest that you need to rush to the theater to see it. I'm all for a Kevin Costner comeback, but this one will probably just get lost in the summer shuffle. They probably should have released it a little closer to actual election season.

Brimfield: This sounds pretty lazy, although I'm not as much with the Costner hatred as some of my fellow writers. Seriously, Field of Dreams, Dances With Wolves? I even liked Waterworld. Does that mean I should leave? Anyway, this will most likely be completely mediocre.

AUGUST 8TH

Pineapple Express
Studio: Columbia
Directed by: David Gordon Green
Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Gary Cole
The plot: After mega-stoner Dale Denton (Rogen) witnesses a corrupt cop commit a murder, he and his dealer (Franco) hit the road in an attempt to outrun the squad of police officers who want them dead.

Thomas: I don't normally dig on drug comedies greatly, but the more I see stuff for this, the more I like it. Seth Rogen is slowly growing on me, and James Franco and Gary Cole are both great actors who look great in all the trailers I've seen so far. This looks like a really fun movie that could very well take the crown of ‘best stoner comedy' if expectations hold.

Furious: Seth Rogen wrote this as well, which makes me fairly optimistic. I get the feeling he had a load of stuff knocking around waiting to happen and then he got famous and whammy, let's get the next film out there. He's in danger of being typecast but that didn't do Will Ferrell or Adam Sandler any harm at the box office. The lack of competition for the male audience this weekend means it should do quite well. Good luck to him.

Kristopowitz: The previews have been funny, and I'm always in the mood to see Bill Lumberg hisself, Gary Cole, in full on bad guy prick mode, so this should be a blast. Am I the only one who cracks up when they see Rogen leaping off that ledge in the TV commercial? Isn't that one of the most ridiculous things ever filmed?

Lealos: Thug Life. God, that trailer is so damn good. If a trailer is all it takes to sell a movie, this one will be a winner. It will blow Drillbit Taylor out of the water and should keep Seth Rogen in the limelight. James Franco looks spectacular in this as well. And Gary Cole is a GOD. After a month of balls-to-the-wall action, this will start a month of fun, lighter, and hopefully smart comedy fare. I can't wait for this movie.

Mitchell: The trailers make this out to be a must-see movie. I was never a huge fan of stoner comedies, but both leads look hilarious in their roles and that's all that matters to me.

McGee: Stoner humor isn't really my cup of tea, so I'm going to take the "Purpose Driven" high road on this one. If you're into this kind of thing, it looks like a decent enough movie.

Snyder: As I said earlier, this is my most anticipated comedy of the summer. I'm no stoner myself, but I can appreciate stoner movies that are actually funny (Harold & Kumar, Half Baked, etc.). This one looks to be a guaranteed addition to that group. It's nice to see Franco returning to the world of comedy, and the film's action scenes (which I've heard are played straight) might even serve as an early preview of how Rogen will fare as the Green Hornet.

Brimfield: I've already mentioned my apathy towards Seth Rogen and his comedic compatriots, but the red-band trailer for this surprised me by being absolutely hilarious. James Franco looks entertaining for a change, Gary Cole is always awesome, and the film will be worth seeing for the "kick out the windshield" visual gag alone.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2
Studio: Warner Bros.
Directed by: Sanaa Hamri
Starring: America Ferrera, Alexis Bledel, Blake Lively, Amber Tamblyn
The plot: Best friends Lena (Bledel), Carmen (Ferrera), Bridget (Lively) and Tibby (Tamblyn) - all of whom are having different experiences during their first year of college - reunite in a Grecian seaside town in order to locate their missing pair of magical jeans.

Thomas: Ahh, of course… the sequel that nobody was clamoring for. This is going to be good counter-programming against the action and stoner stuff that will be all over movie screens, and will probably bring in a fair amount of teen girls. Good for them. Outside of that audience though, I don't really see that anyone is going to be forsaking The Mummy or Pineapple Express - or even The Dark Knight - for this. The cast isn't big on drawing power, and this is more relying on the sequel status for any success. I'm sure someone will like it, but it's sure as hell not my cup of tea.

Furious: Chick flick!

Kristopowitz: Eh. I didn't see the first one, so I really have no idea what kind of movie this is exactly. I imagine the advertising for it will emphasize that the story is "uplifting," even if it really isn't.

Lealos: Ok. Let's see if my wife has me straight on this. This is the second movie in the series, based on the fourth book in the series. It is not necessarily a chick flick, but a young adult coming-of-age drama. And it stars Joan of Arcadia, Ugly Betty, the Gilmore girl and some chick from Gossip Girl. Ok, with that out of the way, since I am a dude, I'll pass.

Mitchell: It is weird that I'm attracted to Ugly Betty? Not America Ferrera, but her character on the show. Anyway, I have no insight to offer as I didn't watch the first one, and have little desire to watch the sequel. I guess it could be a fun diversion for people that don't want to watch Robert Downey in black face, two stoners trying to avoid a hitman, or Dark Knight for the third or fourth time...

McGee: I'm not a fan of the original movie, the books, or anything heartwarming and/or uplifting in general (What can I say? I'm just a cynical old coot). Again, looks fine if that's what you're into, but I'll be passing it.

Snyder: Wait a second, let me check something here. Hmmm, yep, I still have testicles. Guess I can skip this one.

Brimfield: Golly me. This looks like the sort of movie that will pass completely under my radar, and I can live with that. Ferrara is charming on Ugly Betty, but the film will have to do better than that to be worth anything to anyone outside the 12-18 female demographic.

AUGUST 15TH

Star Wars: The Clone Wars
Studio: Warner Bros.
Directed by: Dave Filoni
Starring: Matt Lanter, James Arnold Taylor, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lee
The plot: Filling the gap between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, this animated tale chronicles the on-going intragalactic battle involving the Jedi of the Republic and the battle droids of the Trade Federation.

Thomas: I really enjoyed the first Clone Wars stuff that aired on television. That does not, however, mean I'm going to be jazzed about paying to see what's basically a movie to sell the upcoming animated television series. It's a crass money grab, even for Lucas, and frankly, it doesn't look like it's going to be as good as the cartoon was. The CGI animation is tolerable I suppose, but I'm not feeling it in any way.

Furious: It's Star Wars! Come on! You know you want to see this. Plus it can't possibly suffer from horrible acting because it's animated and George Lucas has given talented people freedom to work their magic on it. If it works I'd love to see more animated movies to link up the existing films. Hey, they might even get to do sequels! Sold!

Kristopowitz: The animation looks bizarre, but it's Star Wars, so I'll give it a chance. I've never been a big fan of the "Expanded Universe" of Star Wars, though. It doesn't have the same feel as the movies. We'll just have to see how it all works out.

Lealos: I don't like the animation style. Pass.

Mitchell: The animation looks weird to me, but I like anime, so what the heck do I know? It looks a lot like those 5 minute episodes on Cartoon Network a few years back and while good, doesn't exactly make me want to sit in a theater and watch 90 minutes of it.

McGee: So I guess George Lucas needed a new wing for Skywalker Ranch or something? The first run of animated Clone Wars cartoons were awesome (probably better than the prequels themselves in most respects), but nothing about this computer animated foray really thrills me. I am required by law to see it, under the guidelines of the Uber-Geek Compact of 1977, but just the fact that a theatrical Star Wars release of any kind is receiving such little hype kind of shows how little interest there is in the franchise right now.

Snyder: This just does not look that good. I can't be alone in thinking the animation designs look like crap. And are you really telling me Frank Oz was too busy to do Yoda's voice for this thing? I know there's a natural curiosity factor here given that it's Star Wars, but I just can't get myself to care.

Brimfield: I'm just not pumped for this. Yes, I'm a huge Star Wars nerd, but the TV series was dull for me and the animation style is really not my thing. I'll catch it on DVD, undoubtedly, but I won't be making the trip to the cinema, if only for the fact that the classic Fox banner won't kick off the film.

Tropic Thunder
Studio: DreamWorks
Directed by: Ben Stiller
Starring: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Steve Coogan
The plot: While shooting a big-budget war movie, a group of actors (Stiller, Black, Downey Jr., and others) are forced to become soldiers in a real-life conflict.

Thomas: Like most of the movies this month, when I first heard about this film I was… hesitant, to say the least. It sounded really contrived and stupid. Then, I saw the trailer and just fell in love. Stiller and Jack look like they'll be serviceable; on the other hand, Robert Downey Jr. looks absolutely uproariously funny. This should be a solid action comedy with a lot of good pokes at the industry that will get some good laughs. I'll be there.

Furious: As a rule I won't watch Ben Stiller movies. I just can't stand them. But I saw the trailer for this and it does look hilarious. Robert Downey Jr in blackface had me sold right away. I'll be seeing this.

Kristopowitz: This movie looks hysterical. Both Stiller and Black look like they're back on their game, and Downey Jr looks like he's ready to steal the show playing a white guy playing a black guy. And Nick Nolte looks like he's out of his mind here. And what exactly is Tom Cruise going to be like in this? I can't wait.

Lealos: This is part two of the month of August's fun, comedy fare following Pineapple Express. Ben Stiller usually does well when he directs. By my count he is 100 percent (Reality Bites, The Cable Guy and Zoolander). From the looks of things, he will stay perfect after this movie and Robert Downey Jr. will have his second great movie of the summer. Everything about the trailers look fantastic, the early buzz is very solid and - come on - it's Robert Downey Jr. playing a dude who's playing a dude who's playing a dude who's playing another dude. This is going to be a real fun time at the movies.

Mitchell: Keep Ben Stiller to a minimum and I'm already buying my ticket. The trailers have yet to disappoint and Robert Downey Jr. is phenomenal, so I expect good things from this one.

McGee: Okay, so you know how I'm always saying I'm a comedy snob? Lord help me, this movie looks like a winner! Sure, the plot is basically recycled from Three Amigos!, but why not steal from the best? And Robert Downey Jr. alone looks like he'll be worth the price of admission.

Snyder: It's been awhile since Stiller has done anything that has interested me, but this looks to finally be a return to his great Zoolander-style ridiculousness. But let's face it, this one is gonna be all about Robert Downey Jr., in what – if done as well as expected – could be one of the all-time great comedic performances. I don't expect it to be as all-out funny as Pineapple Express, but I still have pretty high hopes for it.

Brimfield: My sentiments on this one are exactly in line with Jeremy's.

Mirrors
Studio: 20th Century Fox
Directed by: Alexandre Aja
Starring: Kiefer Sutherland, Paula Patton, Amy Smart
The plot: An ex-cop (Sutherland) and his family are the target of a evil force that is using mirrors as a gateway into their home.

Thomas: Alexandre Aja hasn't made a single god damned movie that's been worth the celluloid it's printed on yet. Yes, people, I'm including High Tension in that statement. Not even an interesting premise and Kiefer Sutherland are going to get me excited about this one. Everything I've seen makes it look like Aja has taken this interesting premise and turned it into a torture porn-esque piece of crap. I'm hopeful that I'm going to be proven wrong, but I really doubt I will be.

Furious: Sounds interesting but won't be any good. Oh yeah folks, it's time for another patented HACK ALERT! Alexandre Aja, director of the huge piece of shit that is Switchblade Romance; presently ranked as worst film of the decade by yours truly. Of course that's only the worst film I've seen but nevertheless, that's pretty bad. I think I'll be skipping his work until he starts getting favourable reviews. Not seeing that happening here.

Kristopowitz: The previews for his have been creepy as hell, and Aja seems to be coming into his own, so this should be a nifty little horror flick. Of course, Aja is also the guy who did High Tension, one of the biggest cheats of the decade, so, hopefully, he doesn't do that again.

Lealos: I don't know what it is about the trailer that makes me want to see this movie. Maybe it's Kiefer. I don't know. It looks like every other ghost story that's come out since The Ring. But something is pulling me to want to check it out. Scary.

Mitchell: Unlike the other guys here, I'm not familiar with Alexandre Aja because I'm an action movie/comedy junkie so I have yet to be subjected to his "style". The premise looks promising at least. Maybe this is his chance to change people's opinions about his work.

McGee: Mirrors are scary at the best of times (or maybe it's just when I look in them), and the trailer gave me a serious case of the willies. Kiefer is always worth a watch, so this might be a horror flick that actually serves up some scares rather than the traditional heapin' plate of stupid.

Snyder: There seems to be a lot of hate towards Aja on this site, so I'll just go ahead and risk the wrath of my fellow writers by saying I kinda like the guy. High Tension was a pretty effective thrill-ride until the admittedly lame ending (which, by most accounts, was the idea of the studio, not Aja), and his Hills Have Eyes remake was one of the more entertaining studio horror films in recent years. Still, this looks like fairly standard scare stuff. Plus, I learned a valuable lesson with this one. And that is: never watch a red band trailer for a horror movie, as the one I watched for this film gave away at least one main character's death scene in order to show how gory it is. It's a shame that Midnight Meat Train was relegated to an extremely limited release while a generic flick like this is given the high profile release.

Brimfield: The red-band trailer for this one looks absolutely gruesome, and I do love a bit of Kiefer, even if he won't be in Bauer-mode. That said, this isn't my type of thing so much, so I doubt I'll be paying it a visit. I can see it finding a good home on DVD though.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Studio: MGM
Directed by: Woody Allen
Starring: Scarlett Johansson, Rebecca Hall, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz
The plot: Two girlfriends (Hall and Johansson) on a summer holiday in Spain become enamored with the same painter (Bardem), fully unaware that his ex-wife (Cruz), with whom he has a tempestuous relationship, is about to re-enter the picture.

Thomas: This film got a lot of press a while ago because of a make-out scene between Cruz and Johansson. While that little tidbit might be enough for some people, I want more in terms of a quality film. What's good is that Allen has been making some good films again, between Match Point and Cassandra's Dream, and so that and the presence of Javier Bardem are enough to have me intrigued. And hey, if all that falls flat, at least I'll see Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson making out, right?

Furious: The studio has so much confidence in this that it won't be getting a UK cinematic release. Or so I'm lead to believe. Woody Allen has been going dramatically downhill for many years. I would probably say his last good film was Mighty Aphrodite and that was 13 years ago. Most of the ones since have either been mediocre or just badly conceived. I know Match Point got a lot of attention but the script was way off. Probably sounded fine to the American audience but being shot in England you'd think Woody would have at least run it by someone who was English to iron out the lines that made no sense. Good cast but I just have my doubts about anything he does these days.

Kristopowitz: This will probably be funny, but I haven't been excited about a Woody Allen movie in a long time.

Lealos: Hey, it's a new Woody Allen movie (strike one) where two girlfriends on a summer holiday in Spain (strike two) are trying to connect with Anton Chigurh (whoa!). It's a romantic drama that is rated PG-13 (strike 3).

Mitchell: A Woody Allen film some believe will mark a return to old form after a few somewhat disappointing films in recent years. Me, I'd check it out if a female friend wants to and maybe even like it as I did Mama Mia. But this has "catch it on a lazy Saturday afternoon on Encore" written all over it for me.

McGee: I loathe Woody Allen (there, I said it), so I'm pretty biased on this one. Needless to say, I'm skipping out.

Snyder: There are an awful lot of people getting excited for this one because of the Johansson-Cruz make-out scene. Have these people ever heard of the Internet? You can find a lot more exciting footage online for free, folks. With that out of the way, is there anything else about this worth checking out? It's hard to say. It certainly sounds like it could be along the same lines as Match Point, the last truly excellent Allen film. But, as we all know, when it comes to Allen nowadays, there's always a good chance it will be a boring letdown. I actually haven't even seen a trailer for this yet, so I'll hold off guessing which way this one will go.

Brimfield: Remember when Woody Allen was relevant? No, me neither.

AUGUST 22ND

Hamlet 2
Directed by: Andrew Fleming
Starring: Steve Coogan, Elisabeth Shue, Catherine Keener
The plot: High school drama teacher Dana Marschz (Coogan) looks to bring his Shakespearian sequel to the stage despite the obstacles in his path - namely, a classroom full of disinterested students, potential budget cuts, and his own lack of talent.

Thomas: I've heard a lot of great things about this, the trailer looks great, and I love the cast. I don't know how successful it will be, because it's a little too indy for mainstream audiences, but either way it should be good stuff.

Furious: This could go one of two ways. Early reviews are, shall we say, mixed. However they do mention the conclusion being worth the poor opening. Apparently "Rock Me Sexy Jesus" is the closing musical number. I think I'm sold on that alone.

Kristopowitz: The previews have been funny, and this looks just weird enough to work. It's cool to see Elisabeth Shue back in a comedy.

Lealos: This movie looks like I will spend three weeks in a row watching something that will make me smile. BIG. I said it earlier in the column, and I'll say it again. ROCK ME SEXY JESUS. Steve Coogan looks like he's having a blast in this movie and the only annoying thing I saw in the trailer was Amy Poehler. Everything about this movie screams smart fun. If it doesn't show in Oklahoma, I will be very pissed (and this is very likely). My most anticipated movie of the month.

Mitchell: I've heard some great things about this film and I can't help but smile at the thought of "Rock Me Sexy Jesus". Definitely worth a trip to the second run theater for this one at the very least.

McGee: "A politically incorrect musical sequel to Shakespeare's most famous play." Sounds like comedy gold, right? Well, call me cranky, but David Arquette's involvement means the ball has already been dropped. Should turn out to be another in a long line of comedies that shake my faith in humanity. But I'm ready to be proven wrong at any time.

Snyder: Ahhh yes, the summer's other Steve Coogan comedy. There is a lot of positive buzz around this one, and the trailer is pretty funny. I especially like the bit about "re-introducing" Elisabeth Shue. The question here is if the Sundance hype has raised expectations a little too much, but I'm hoping it should be a decent enough little flick if you go in not expecting too much.

Brimfield: Word on this one is that Coogan's performance goes a long way towards redeeming a slightly flaccid screenplay. It looks entertaining in a Brit-indie kind of way, and the title alone is worth a giggle.

Death Race
Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson
Starring: Jason Statham, Joan Allen, Tyrese Gibson, Ian McShane
The plot: Former NASCAR champ Jensen Ames (Statham) is framed for the murder of his wife, and subsequently sent to a notorious prison overseen by a warden (Allen) who has created the country's most popular sport: a kill-or-be-killed car race in which her inmates compete for their freedom.

Thomas: Ugh. Just as Statham is starting to remind audiences that he has acting talent again after The Bank Job, he goes and stars in this, which looks to be an utterly craptastic remake of a classic film. I really like the cast - why McShane hasn't become a major star yet, I don't know - but I can't help but think that this is just going to suck so enormously that it'll create its own sonic booms as aftershocks.

Furious: Aww, don't make me dust off my HACK ALERT for the second time in a month. I like the original Death Race 2000 because it's daft, satirical and cheap (and has a lot of naked women in it). I think Paul WS Anderson has either totally missed the point of the film or he's totally missing the point of film. Either way his movies are rubbish, loud and a waste of time. Apart from Event Horizon, which I really like! Sun shines on a dog's ass some days!

Kristopowitz: I'm actually happy that Paul W.S. Anderson decided to go a different route than Paul Bartel's original classic satire Death Race 2000 and just do a balls out action movie. While I'm a fan of Anderson's work (yeah, I'm willing to admit that to the world), Alien vs. Predator wasn't all that great (it was just okay), so he's got a lot to make up for after that. I just hope this flick doesn't peter out at the end. I have a feeling, though, it's going to. I don't know why, but I just get that feeling.

Lealos: People hate them some Paul W.S. Anderson. He is lucky there is a guy named Uwe Boll to take some heat off him. I don't hate the guy, and acknowledge he has done some decent films (Mortal Kombat and Event Horizon) but people only see his video game adaptations (and the really bad Soldier). I think this one has a chance. I like Tyrese Gibson and love Jason Statham and all I want from this movie is crazy driving action and some cool kills. Give me that and I'll be satisfied.

Mitchell: Statham may be a decent actor, but what can I say, I like things that go boom. So this is right up my alley. Maybe not pay 8-10 bucks alley, but easily a five dollar matinee before I go to the gym on Saturday. This may make me a horrible person and part of the problem, but I really could care less this is inferior to the original as long as it entertains me.

McGee: Boy, that plot sure sounds familiar…and I'm not just talking about the fact that it's a remake. There's also The Condemned, The Running Man and all the other various copy cats to come along over the years. But, even though this looks like a train wreck on paper, Anderson has managed to make some very entertaining action flicks in the past. He just really knows how to take an unoriginal concept and turn it into something watchable. Maybe Death Race will surprise people.

Snyder: In the eyes of much of the Internet community, this one has two things going against it right off the bat – it's a not-very-faithful remake of a beloved cult classic, and it's directed by Paul W.S. Anderson. If I can address those in reverse order: Anderson isn't nearly as bad as many online hate-mongers would have you believe. Sure, AVP was a piece of crap, but Mortal Kombat and Resident Evil were decent enough little action flicks. As for the changing of the story, it's probably a smart move. There's no way a major studio today is gonna take the original concept and make it as cool as the Roger Corman version. But as is, this looks like it could be just as much brainless fun as Statham's Transporter series.

Brimfield: I'm completely torn here. On one hand, I hate Anderson and these kind of remakes in general, and don't want the reputation of the original to be tarnished. But on the other, Jason Statham is the F'n man. I think I'll just wait for Transporter 3.

The Rocker
Directed by: Peter Cattaneo
Starring: Rainn Wilson, Josh Gad, Christina Applegate
The plot: Two decades after he was kicked out of his famous rock n' roll group, Robert 'Fish' Fishman (Wilson), an over-the-hill drummer, pounces on a second chance at coercing his way into a garage band fronted by his nephew (Gad).

Thomas: You know, the premise sounds like a failed sequel idea for School of Rock, and before I saw the trailer, I wasn't impressed. But it does look like it'll have some good moments. It'll be good counter-programming for Death Race and should be able to make a good cash grab with Pineapple Express likely losing steam by this point. I expect a few solid chuckles, but nothing amazing.

Furious: Why does this feel like a Pauly Shore project? I'll pass.

Kristopowitz: This looks stupid and funny all at the same time. Rainn Wilson looks like he's having the time of his life in the trailer, so we'll see if he's that way throughout. Although, I have a feeling that this is going to end up like that Andy Samberg movie Hot Rod.

Lealos: Rainn Wilson gets his own comedy. Nice. It is hit or miss but is getting no publicity around my parts, so I don't know how it will play out.

Mitchell: Eh. The trailer didn't sway me in any direction and I already have two comedies to look forward to that look superior to this.

McGee: I try to be nice, I really do. But when you give me stuff like this, what am I supposed to do? When the trailer for this one played, I heard an entire movie theater audibly cringe. What more can you say?

Snyder: I'm surprised the studio isn't hyping this one up a little more – I've barely seen any advertising for it. Perhaps they've already conceded the month to Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express. That's probably a good call, but I'm still looking forward to seeing how Wilson does in his first headlining role.

Brimfield: As entertaining as Wilson is in that show he's in, there's no way he's leading man material. The trailer for this one barely raised a chuckle out of me, so I don't have high hopes for this. Christina Applegate is always likeable though.

AUGUST 29TH

Disaster Movie
Directed by: Jason Friedberg; Aaron Seltzer
Starring: Carmen Electra, Vanessa Minnillo, Nicole Parker
The plot: Over the course of one evening, an unsuspecting group of twenty-somethings find themselves bombarded by a series of natural disasters and catastrophic events.

Thomas: HELL. NO. You couldn't get me to watch this flaming piece of crap for nearly any reason. I was completely done with Friedberg and Seltzer after that excruciating disaster that was Meet the Spartans, and there is nothing in this world or any other that can entice me to watch this. I'll endure a severe beating with a metal pipe before I'll plunk down a red cent for this thing, and hopefully, FINALLY, audiences will boycott this shit so they'll stop making it. Of course, audiences won't, and we'll get another one coming out in like three months. That's how bad these movies are… they have actually DESTROYED MY FAITH IN HUMANITY.

Furious: This is what you get. This is what you get when you go to see shitty movies. Hollywood looks at the numbers and thinks "hey, people like shitty movies, let's pay that pair of assholes from Scary Movie to write a load of them. There's very few jokes in these films. Just a bunch of weak parodies of recent, far better, films. Why do you fucking idiots keep paying to see these films? They'll keep making them! You know it's going to suck. Just say no! In order to correctly prepare for this cinematic release I've prepared a note to those responsible:

Dear Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer,

Fuck you.

Yours sincerely,
Arnold Furious

Kristopowitz: Does the world really need another one of these movies by these people? I don't think so.

Lealos: Please stop.

Mitchell: Movies like this don't destroy my faith in humanity, but it does nothing to restore it either. I'm not a huge fan of parody movies in the first place, but I really hate the ones that just seem to mock stuff I like without even being clever about it. I mean, I'm not so sensitive that I can't take my favorite hero/sports star/movie being mocked, just be creative about it and don't turn everything into a dick, fart, or vomit joke/sight gag. Not looking forward to this at all. I got all the pictures of Kim Kardashian's ass I need for free on this website.

McGee: Have you seen the trailer for this thing? They're actually filming these spoof flicks before the movies they parody come out. Before long, the spoofs will be released before the real movies hit theaters…kinda like the video in Spaceballs. Oh, and I'd rather make pencils disappear into my eyes than see this movie.

Snyder: Have you seen the trailer for this thing? If you haven't, take a moment and go watch it. It looks like perhaps the most dreadful thing to ever be projected onto a movie screen. Those aren't even jokes! At this point, they are just literally re-doing scenes from recent blockbusters! How does anyone find that funny? Hopefully this will be the moment where fans finally reject this pieces of crap.

Brimfield: I try not to swear too often when expressing my opinions in writing, but for fuck's sake, will someone euthanize these failed attempts of human beings before they flush cinema any further down the filthy toilet of execrable movie "comedies", beat it to death with a thousand fart jokes, and sodomize its shitty corpse.

Babylon A.D.
Directed by: Mathieu Kassovitz
Starring: Vin Diesel, Michelle Yeoh, Melanie Thierry, Mark Strong
The plot: Veteran-turned-mercenary Thoorop (Diesel) takes a high-risk assignment where he must escort a woman out of Russia. His client, however, is carrying a synthetic virus - one that could bring about the end of humankind. Making his mission extra-difficult is the cult that has designs on what rests inside the young woman's body.

Thomas: The buzz on this one has been absolutely atrocious, from it's being pulled from Comic-Con last year to the fact that it ran so far over-budget it had to be saved by an insurance company to keep 20th Century Fox from axing it. Add to the fact that Diesel apparently didn't get along with writer/director Kassovitz and several pushes back of the release date, and I think a lot of people are expecting this to fail. Honestly, I think it's going to suck as a film, but still manage to be entertaining in that Chronicles of Riddick way, and will probably be successful in a modest way.

Furious: The director made La Haine, one of the best French films in decades. This is his first picture in five years. Vin Diesel is looking to put his career back together after a couple of very quiet years. This could be fun. Not a huge budget for an actioner, $60M, but neither was Wanted.

Kristopowitz: On one hand, the uber nerd in me thinks this looks awesome. It looks like the world's got Vin Diesel, Riddick hisself, back kicking butt and, well, kicking butt. But on the other hand, this movie looks like one of those relatively big budget sci-fi action flicks that's good for about forty minutes, and then is just agony until it ends. I hope I'm wrong, because I really don't want to sit through another bad sci-fi action movie.

Lealos: This is what I'm talking about. Screw the family friendly comedies and go back to what made you a star to begin with Vin. Pitch Black was incredible and xXx was a fun, fast ride. Chronicles of Riddick was really good as well, although not really appreciated by the masses. But this is the kind of character I want to see Vin Diesel play. Coming soon is his follow up to the excellent The Fast and the Furious (and the fourth in the series) so I am only hoping this is a return for good.

Mitchell: Could be fun. Vin Diesel back in the sort of role that made him a household name can't be all bad, right? Then again, I actually liked Chronicles of Riddick. Oh, and Michelle Yeoh is in this one too. I expect this to bomb in the theaters than make a ton of cash on DVD, where I'll definitely see it either by buying it myself or waiting until my ex buys it and borrow her copy.

McGee: From the trailer, it looks like lots of stuff gets blow'd up in this one. That (and the fact that I'm a sucker for a good futuristic-apocalypse flick) is enough to make me overlook Vin Diesel and be cautiously optimistic.

Snyder: The trailer for this actually looks pretty darn cool, if you ask me. However, it's just a trailer, and the multitude of bad press that is already hovering over this one – regarding delays, re-shoots, and poorly received screenings – doesn't really fill me with much hope. Diesel has a much better shot at a comeback with next year's new Fast and the Furious film than he does here.

Brimfield: Kassovitz and Diesel is a strong combination, even if rumors of their mutual antipathy are to be believed, and I'm hoping this will be a Ridley Scott-esque epic. Fingers crossed to see whether it can overcome its reputation.

Traitor
Directed by: Jeffrey Nachmanoff
Starring: Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, Jeff Daniels
The plot: FBI agent Roy Clayton (Pearce) heads up a conspiracy investigation which initially susses out a prime suspect: Samir Horn (Cheadle), a former special ops officer with strong ties to Afghan rebels in the Middle East. As Clayton chases Horn around the world, however, a tangled web of contradictory evidence is revealed.

Thomas: The cast looks great and the premise is interesting. Unfortunately, it has sort of the convoluted twists and political implications that never do well at the box office when they're combined. I'll see it, to be sure, but I don't know how many other people will.

Furious: Hey, a Hollywood picture that doesn't see Muslin religion in black & white. Colour me surprised! I'm a big fan of Guy Pearce and Don Cheadle. It looks on paper like a cracking spy movie with some smarts about it. Check it out if the reviews are positive!

Kristopowitz: The cast for this flick looks decent. But will it appeal to a wide audience, or will this be marketed as some hip and edgy "art" movie? I guess I'll have to wait for a trailer because I just don't know.

Lealos: I like Guy Pearce. I like Don Cheadle. I like Jeff Daniels. The movie is an espionage thriller from the mind of Steve Martin. Yeah, that Steve Martin. I know almost nothing about this movie but it sounds like an interesting idea.

Mitchell: The cast looks great and the trailer I saw had the theater buzzing. Not saying this needs to be a dumb movie, but keep the twists and turns to a minimum, make the tension believable, and don't beat the audience over the head with the political implications and you might have a modest hit on your hands. I'm marking this one down as another one to see on the big screen.

McGee: Don Cheadle and Guy Pearce are both excellent actors, and it looks like they may have plenty to work with in Traitor. The subject matter is intriguing and topical, and the film has a tense vibe about it that I'm really digging. It could be an early entry in Cheadle's annual bid for the award circuit, too.

Snyder: Hadn't really heard of this one until this moment, but color me intrigued. Two great leads, and it's always nice to see Jeff Daniels again, as well. I want to reserve total judgment until I at least see some footage, but this certainly sounds like it could be worthwhile.

Brimfield: This one looks to be riding on Jason Bourne's coat-tails somewhat, but a solid cast should make up for the fact that it won't be the big budget actioner it'll undoubtedly be marketed as. Should be worth a gander.



The votes are in... Tropic Thunder is the 411 staff's hit of the month, while Disaster Movie is our shit of the month!


That's all for now, folks. Stay tuned next month for a look at Righteous Kill, Bangkok Dangerous and a whole lot more!

All poster images courtesy of IMDB.