Series Link #3: Planet of the Apes

Posted by Arnold Furious on 08.05.2008

“You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!”

Series Link #3: Planet of the Apes

"You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"

SERIES LINK

Frequently when reviewing movies I notice I'm missing sequels here and there from classic series. In line with one of my key film watching beliefs I'll be making a point of tidying up some of my sequel history. The belief in question being that as long as I enjoyed the original I'll watch any sequel made of it. I don't know where this belief came from but it's one that seems to work out for me quite frequently and there are many film series where I have enjoyed multiple sequels based on my love and respect for the initial instalment (Alien, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Rocky etc).

Series Link #1 – The Pink Panther
Series Link #2 – The Road To…

For this third column I'm taking a look at a classic series that was attempted to be re-done not so long ago. Here I present to you…

Series Link #3:

The Planet of the Apes.

How many films?

Six. Plus two TV series and a feature documentary.

Starring?

Charlton Heston (2 times), Roddy McDowall (4 times), Kim Hunter (3 times), Linda Harrison (3 times), Natalie Trundy (4 times), Maurice Evans (2 times).

Directed by?

Franklin J. Schnaffer, Ted Post, Don Taylor, J Lee Thompson (2 times), Tim Burton.

Series Span:

7 years. 1968-1975 including both TV series. The later Tim Burton re-imagining took place in 2001.

Planet of the Apes (1968)



Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner, director of Papillon and Patton, although this was his breakthrough movie. The script came from Twilight Zone genius Rod Serling, one of the few movies he ever wrote, along with Michael Wilson who also penned It's a Wonderful Life and Lawrence of Arabia. Not a bad collection of talent and that's before we talk about star Charlton Heston. He'd already been the star of a host of epic films in the 50's and 60's including Ben-Hur. If anyone was going to lead an expedition to some crazy planet run by monkeys then it was him. "From my cold, dead hand". He wasn't going to take any crap.

It's been so long since I last saw Planet of the Apes, probably 15 years, I'd forgotten just how long it takes for the titular apes to be introduced. The opening 30 minutes sees astronaut Taylor (Heston) and his colleagues Landon (Robert Gunner) and Dodge (Jeff Burton) negotiate a barren landscape. There was also a 4th astronaut in the form of a woman, Stewart, although she's killed during the hypersleep. The plot involves astronauts being sent into deep space in 1972. The trip into space was also a trip into the future thanks to the methods involved. The trip to the people on board would be 18 months. On the outside 2000 years has passed. When the ship crash lands those on board assume it's on a distant planet. Heston's Taylor is particularly cruel and abusive making sure to stop off every 5 minutes to tell Landon that everyone he knows is dead. It seems a little odd at this viewing. Almost making Taylor out to be more of a jerk than I remember.

But then that's Planet of the Apes in a nutshell. Humanity isn't portrayed in a positive light. The dominate Apes are a metaphor for humanity's failure to accept that which it doesn't understand. Dr Zaius (Maurice Evans) is the planet's science officer but also "defender of the faith". A slight clash of job descriptions surely? The "Sacred Scrolls" don't allow for a belief that there was anything before 1200 years ago. Sound familiar? And some parts of the planet are simply dubbed "the Forbidden Zone". The social commentary is throughout with the script slyly poking fun at organised religion and the stubbornness of mankind. Even going as far as to mock humanity's beliefs on subjects like animal cruelty. On Heston's side are two apes; Dr Zira (Kim Hunter) and her partner Cornelius (Roddy McDowall) while local, albeit dumb, human Nova (Linda Harrison) also tags along.

It's one of the most iconic movies ever made and has been often imitated, mimicked, parodied and spoofed. But it's also smart within itself referencing Animal Farm and including a shot where the Ape court has three Apes in charge of it and they're doing the see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil thing while Heston is talking. While Planet of the Apes asks a lot of questions and states its opinion on humanity quite openly it doesn't slow the film down and for the most part it moves along at a thrilling pace. The opening 30 minutes is a little frustrating in retrospect with no apes in sight but it's a great slow burn for the later thrills. And, believe it or not, with Cornelius and Zira's fate left up in the air there's even room for the planned sequels. It almost feels like we didn't spend enough time on this world before Taylor rides off down the beach to his fate. Planet of the Apes, we hardly knew ye.

BEST BIT – The ending. "You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"



Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)



With Charlton Heston reluctant to reprise his role from Planet of the Apes the studio offered him a compromise. Disappear at the start of Beneath and then reappear for the films conclusion. Heston agreed and re-joined the cast although Apes regular Roddy McDowell, who appeared in every other film, had a clash of schedules and couldn't do this one. Director Franklin J. Schaffner was making Patton at the time and couldn't return either. Ted Post took over behind the camera. At that point he was best known for Hang ‘Em High but would go on to helm another sequel in 1973: Magnum Force. With Heston out of the majority of the film his role was taken by James Franciscus. Who basically got the role because he looked a bit like Charlton Heston.

The plot sees astronaut Brent (Franciscus) sent on the same course as Taylor (Heston) in order to locate him. He runs into Taylor's mute squeeze Nova (Linda Harrison – looking superb in her cavewoman gear). Taylor himself has disappeared into the Forbidden Zone so Nova leads Brent to Zira (Kim Hunter) and Cornelius (David Watson filling in for Roddy). They send him on his way as the gorillas are making life difficult in Ape City and Brent stumbles into trouble before locating the underground remains of New York City, cue painfully bad acting, and a race of superhumans who communicate via telepathy. They also worship an unexploded nuclear bomb. The plot gets pretty silly during Beneath with nonsensical plot points and horrible errors of continuity. Especially regards the lack of decay on the 2000 year old city. In one scene there's a poster still intact. I'm pretty sure paper would decay if left to the elements for 2000 years. They also get the year wrong. Brent claims to have arrived in 3955. Well, Taylor arrived in 3978 so that makes no sense at all.

The film gets a touch preachy in places especially with James Franciscus, who isn't really in Heston's league, and the dialogue for him is a little clunky. There are still some good ideas at play. The gorillas are set up as the war-like aggressors while the chimpanzees are the liberal scientific types. There's some nice work on race, especially during Ursus' (James Gregory – head gorilla) speech, but in general the subtle undertones of the first film aren't here. There's also a worrying switch of characters where Dr Zaius isn't the same character at all. Making different decisions and treating people differently. Perhaps he just learned from his experiences during the first film but at the end of that film he promises to prosecute Zira and Cornelius for heresy and yet at the start of this film he holds them both in high regard as Ape City's leading scientific minds who'll need to carry on the civilisation should he be killed. Quite the contrast to their relationship in the first film. There's also a downgrade in quality regarding the ape makeup as there are so many extras many of them wear masks instead of makeup and it's really obvious which ones are which. They have improved the lip syncing, which bugged me during the first film but ultimately Beneath is nowhere near as satisfying as the first film although the ending carries on the franchise's ability to shock and surprise. Heston pitched the original concept for the ending hoping it'd kill the entire series dead at two films. Well, when there's a dollar to be made…

BEST BIT – Ursus' speech. Showing signs of promise never delivered as the military general preaches to the three major sections of society gaining huge support from the dominant gorilla branch. Brent looks a bit like Chuck Norris in this video.



Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)



This opening paragraph will contain *SPOILERS* for Beneath the Planet of the Apes. You have been warned.

You'd think the franchise would have nowhere to go after the ending of Beneath the Planet of the Apes. What with the planet totally destroyed by the Doomsday Bomb and all of the major characters killed in the process. Brent, Taylor and Nova, not to mention Ursus, were all shot and killed before the bomb went off with Taylor's cold dead hand falling on the bomb's firing mechanism to wipe out the rest including Dr Zaius who was standing right next to him. But there were two major characters conspicuous by their absence. Both Cornelius and Zira basically dropped out of the plot after Zira helped Brent to escape captivity. Their stories weren't completed and yet the planet was destroyed. It's kinda hard to escape that fate. Hence the magical monkey maguffin that is Dr Milo (Sal Mineo). He was magically invented as the Ape's greatest scientist in order to have a way to get the Apes off the Ape Planet and into Taylor's spaceship. Which was sunk off the Eastern Seaboard in Planet of the Apes. So Milo recovers it, repairs it and makes it function perfectly and then escapes Apeworld with Cornelius and Zira in tow, which is harsh on their nephew who clearly got left behind to die despite there being 4 sleeping bays. Although one of them was damaged if Milo can fix the entire ship I'm sure a little cracked glass would present no problems. If you can get past the ridiculousness of all this plot then we're ready for Escape from the Planet of the Apes. *SPOILERS END*.

Escape from the Planet of Apes, directed by Don "Omen II" Taylor, was the first Apes film to alter the basic set up of the series. The first two films saw man on an ape world. This one saw Cornelius (Roddy McDowall) and Zira (Kim Hunter) travelling through time to return to modern day Earth. A role reversal if you will and an excuse for less special effects. After all cheaper movies equal bigger profit. It begins as quite an interesting concept. A "fish out of water" deal where both Cornelius and Zira adapt to their new environment and become celebrities. It's far more character based than the previous two films that combine character and action. The first 30-45 minutes are really surprisingly good because of that. Unfortunately the film can't quite stay the course and it becomes quite dreary for extended stretches and there are points where you question the stupidity of the Apes. Like Cornelius' version of hiding where he's walking about in plain view. The cast is fleshed out with Natalie Trundy returning in her second role in the series. She's animal psychiatrist Stevie alongside Dr Lewis Dixon (Bradford Dillman – from the Enforcer & Sudden Impact). They're the trusted link between the chimps and mankind. Not quite so trusted is the bad guy of the piece. The advisor to the president on scientific matters Otto Hasslein (Eric Braeden). He firmly believes that mankind cannot allow super-apes to take over, even if it takes 2000 years, and considers Cornelius and Zira to be a direct threat. Perhaps even the catalyst for the eventual turning of the planet from human to ape. Cornelius himself reveals more back-story here suggesting that a plague wiped out dogs & cats leading to apes becoming the most common form of household pet. But the apes got smart and considered this to be slavery. Interesting concept but it's odd he chose not to mention that to Taylor in the first film. Ah well.

Escape is the bridging film between the Apeworld of the future and the modern day happenings that lead to it. It doesn't entirely stay the course with the plot, which wavers a little too early and then loses steam badly before an emotional showdown pulls the viewers back in. The final shot has to be one of the creepiest in cinematic history although Don Taylor's insistence at an awkward attempt to extend the shot by playing the film forwards and backwards (complete with camera move) is a terrible idea, badly executed. Plus do you really want to be putting the future of your franchise in the hands of Ricardo Montalban? His unusual turn as a circus owner comes completely out of left field and happily stays there wigging me out. The character work and different approach compensates for the lack of action but some people will probably be put off by the slow pacing.

BEST BIT – Sal Mineo's character is strangled by a gorilla after having got us from Beneath to Escape. You're surplus to requirements kid! Get outta here.

Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (1972)



If there was a drop in quality between the original Planet of the Apes and its subsequent follow up's then there's another drop between Escape & Conquest. While Escape was a strong character based piece Conquest aims to get back to the action. Seeing as it's now set in 1991 and all the characters from the original film are no longer in it that was probably a wise move. Or perhaps not. After all, why should I really care about the new characters? The only two characters to return from Escape even are circus owner Armando (Ricardo Montalban) and Caesar (now played by series stalwart Roddy McDowall); the son of Cornelius & Zira. Although returning once again is Natalie Trundy in her third role in the franchise. This time playing Caesar's ape partner Lisa. So she's been human, superhuman and ape by this point. Since Escape we've moved forward 20 years and a plague has wiped out dogs and cats, as described by Cornelius in Escape, leaving apes to become the main household pet. But mankind has discovered other uses for apes and has transformed the race into slaves drawing various parallels to slavery in the United States. Perhaps the least subtle being the caged animals arriving naked from the wild at the dock. On the human side we are introduced to two characters; the despicable Governor Breck (Don Murray) who believes that apes are subordinate and deserve to be beaten into submission and his associate Mr McDonald (Hari Rhodes). McDonald is more calm and understanding and happens to be black. Therefore allowing him to draw his own parallels between the treatment of apes and the treatment of his own people.

All this is fine but it just feels like a huge jump to go from 20 years beforehand to this. Although it's implied that Caesar is the only one with any real smarts. The rest however seem to understand him when he speaks, which implies they are that bright themselves only they haven't yet developed the capacity for speech. Maybe they never would. Which makes you think; if Charlton Heston had never gone into space then Cornelius & Zira couldn't have returned to Earth's past and mankind could never have been overthrown. So, using that theory, it was Heston's Taylor who caused the Planet of the Apes to exist. Wiggy stuff when you look at it that way. Or perhaps it would have happened anyway and the events of the films merely pushed the ape revolution forward some 300 years. After all an ape named Aldo originally was responsible for the revolution beginning. In Conquest it's Caesar. J. Lee Thompson takes over the Apes franchises at this instalment. You may know him from the Guns of Navarone and Cape Fear. He hit a bit of a career lull during the 1970's though and you get the feeling this movie isn't something he's entirely into. The script is all over the place as a result. The acting is at an all time low too without the sympathetic Kim Hunter. Montalban is particularly awful. It took him ten years to develop into an actual star, playing Khan, in the Star Trek sequel in 1982. By then he'd developed some actual acting chops. During Conquest it's almost torture to watch him struggle with emotions. The plot is bleak and the production cheap, which isn't a good combination and Conquest suffers from following the cinematic trend of the early 70's for more grounded sci-fi and films in general. It really doesn't suit the film to adopt a different style and Roddy McDowall can't really carry the film by himself. Especially when he was one of the least interesting characters in the previous films. Luckily some of the action gets pretty intense but the whole film is a reach and an unwelcome addition to a series that had already reached its logical conclusion twice.

BEST BIT – The ending where Caesar realises he may have gone too far but it's simply too late to turn back. It leaves the film on an open ending of hope for the future of both ape and man. Which means, of course, another sequel.



Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973)



It's hard to know where to start with Battle, the worst film in the Apes franchise, but suffice to say there are a number of huge stumbling blocks to the enjoyment of the film. Near the end the keeper of the armoury Mandemus (Lew Ayres) mentions he's been in the armoury for 27 years placing the film 27 years after Conquest. And yet McDonald, if he is indeed the same man I'm not quite sure, hasn't aged a day since the last film. Even if he's changed actors. Now portrayed by Austin Stoker. I'm pretty sure he mentions his brother, which implies he's the younger brother of the McDonald from Conquest. But younger by 27 years? Also both Caesar (Roddy McDowall) and Lisa (Natalie Trundy) return and appear no older than in the last film. They must have had some time because their child Cornelius (Bobby Porter) is around 10 years old. Trying to get my head around how much time has passed since Conquest was only half the mental agony I suffered during Battle. The other half related to exactly where Ape City was located and what had happened after Conquest. We're told a nuclear war occurred after Conquest and destroyed New York, making it the "forbidden city" because of the radioactivity, and yet Ape City is walking distance away from it and has suffered no radioactivity. Also the city hasn't been flattened. Plus since when were their woods everywhere right outside of the centre of New York? They didn't grow in 27 years (or 12 years depending on which synopsis you believe, after all the plot is so full of holes it's hard to say how long it's been since the last movie) did they? With all that radioactivity? Wouldn't there have been extensive acid rain? And if nuclear bombs had been dropped wouldn't they have caused a nuclear winter? Nah, it's all just sunny and nice out in the woods. You just need to get out of the city and everything's fine. Because they don't commit to a date it's hard to say how long since the bomb went off and how dangerous the radiation is and how far is spread but I think it's safe to say if you were within walking distance of the middle of New York when a bomb was dropped on it you'd be fucked.

But even if you ignore all that and just take Battle for what it is on the surface it's still not a good film. The basic premise is twofold. One: Caesar wants to see the old footage of his parents so goes to New York to retrieve it from deep underground but OOPS runs into a race of mutated humans. Although mutated is a stretch. They have chemical burns (one each, no sparing the cash on this film!) and wear black hats. That's about it as far as the mutations go. Two: General Aldo (Claude Akins) wants to overthrow Caesar and rule the Apes himself. Neither story has much going for it and both end up leading to a scrap between the Apes and the mutant humans, which is one of the most laughably poor battle scenes in cinematic history. My favourite lousy action being the tree that gets blown up from about four different angles to provide inserts when the action gets dull. Or perhaps the "barricade", which is about 20 foot long pile of kindling that a schoolbus ploughs through with ease. Although it would have been easy enough to just drive around. Probably quicker. And, by the way, a schoolbus? Where the fuck did it come from? You'd have to assume it was rebuilt by the mutants but for what purpose? To ferry all the little mutants kids to upstate New York (Westchester) and another movie franchise? Otherwise it's done a remarkable job of surviving the nuclear holocaust intact. I can understand the military vehicles as they'd probably be in bunkers. Maybe the schoolbus was too. It just looked out of place to me. I'm sure there are logical explanations for all these flaws but combined it's just too much crap to take. Like when Cornelius falls out of the tree. He drops all of eight foot, as evidenced by McDonald pulling the branch down from the ground, which is sufficient height to cause fatal injuries. He's a kid! They fall off stuff all the time. To me it just seemed as if the script for Battle was just ludicrous. It was as if Paul Dehn (scribe of all the Apes sequels) had run out of ideas and wanted to pen a movie so bad they wouldn't make him write any more. A success in that respect!

Oh, another slight plot hole; I'm still not sure how long it's been since Conquest but since then the entire Ape species has learned to talk. All of them. Something that should have taken generations. Caesar was smart because he was the offspring of two Apes from the future but the rest of the species is generations away from acquiring the ability to speak. Unless it was an effect of the radiation like Yank in the Tick! Regardless Battle is the worst of the franchise and pretty much killed it off for good but there was still time for a TV spin-off!

BEST BIT – There really isn't much that's any good but the movie is actually so bad it succeeds in going all the way back around to good once again. So in that respect it's all good. Or bad. Depending on how you look at it.

Planet of the Apes TV Series (1974)

With the film series complete it was clear there remained potential for the Apes in other mediums. The tie-in marketing was huge and pre-dated Star Wars when it came to hocking anything and everything with Planet of the Apes written on it. CBS picked up a TV show and within a year of the film franchise ending a TV one took its place. It disregarded some of the continuity and pushed some of the characters from Planet of the Apes forward hundreds of years.

1. Escape From Tomorrow

The pilot was written by Art Wallace, one of Star Trek's many writers, and directed by Don Weis; a TV director who'd work on CHIPS and Hawaii 5-0. The changes were ringed immediately. Two astronauts survive the trip through time and arrive in 3085, which is much earlier than the original film. And yet Dr Zaius (Booth Coleman) is a character still. Roddy McDowall, the only star connected to pretty much the entire series, also returns but as a new character called Galen. The two survivors are Alan Virdon (Ron Harper), a 14-year veteran of TV series, and Pete Burke (James Naughton) who's getting his big break. The only other returning star is young Bobby Porter who plays younger Arno (he played Caesar's son in the last film).

The major change from the film series to the TV series is that now everyone can talk. The humans aren't very bright and still get treated like crap but they can speak. Which allows the writing to get a little lazier as humans can provide exposition before the astronauts are captured. In this case an elderly gent by the name of Farrow (Royal Dano) who gets killed off in short order as soon as he's served his purpose. The first film sets up the series by pairing the two humans from Earth's past with Galen. That's the purpose of the opening episode. It also establishes Urko (Mark Lenard) as the main bad guy and Zaius as the main source of government and power. It also establishes that astronauts have been there before but doesn't name them. You'd assume they were talking about Taylor from the first film but Zaius adds that they were killed, which didn't happen until Beneath when the entire planet was destroyed, and they left some hand grenades lying around. As an opening shot it does its job but most of the episode is quickly trying to explain things with about 3 minutes of action. It's a typical pilot and probably isn't long enough at 45 minutes to get the humans from point A to point B. Or develop Galen from nobody to a main player. Having Roddy McDowall in the role is very helpful though because he immediately lays down the standards for movement and acting in the makeup that all the other actors fail at.

2. The Gladiators

Oh boy. Here goes this series down the tubes. All the potential in episode one is just chucked out the window in favour of a predictable and formulaic second episode. The humans are captured, again, after losing Alan's Maguffin (a magnetic disc that may, or may not, be able to return them to their own time). Pete is then forced into combat against local champion Toler (William Smith) in a battle to the death. Smith is the worst actor in the series so far and his son Dalton (Marc Singer) isn't much better. Two muscleheads doing bad wrestling sequences is about all I could take with this episode until it got even worse as the writers bash us over the head with the phrase "killing is wrong", which must appear a dozen times in the last 5 minutes. Here's comes the subtle message, folks. KILLING IS WRONG, KILLING IS WRONG, KILLING IS WRONG, KILLING IS WRONG, KILLING IS WRONG, KILLING IS WRONG, KILLING IS WRONG, KILLING IS WRONG, KILLING IS WRONG!!! WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYY???? The series rolled on another 12 episodes after this disaster but this would be nail one in the coffin. Again, only Roddy McDowall is any good and he's surely starting to get pissed off with the failing of any ape actor to get the mannerisms right.

3. The Trap

More continuity issues pop up here as a slightly damaged San Francisco plays home to the third episode. An earthquake traps both the pursuing General Urko & Pete under the city in the Bay Area Transit system. Urko comes off as particularly stupid in this episode refusing to believe anything he's told calling it "evil" unless the lies are spun to his own particular brand of stupidity. The sets look superior to the previous two episodes and some of the facial characteristics on the apes have improved. Mark Lenard as Urko in particular as he seems to have learned from Roddy McDowall. Norm Alden also joins the cast as a gorilla and has good facial ticks. His claim to fame followed this when he was the café owner in Back to the Future. He was also Kranix in Transformers: The Movie. His planet was destroyed by Unicron. I am such a nerd. The overtones of ‘everyone should get along' aren't quite as bad as the "killing is wrong" from the Gladiators but still override any part of the episode that could generate entertainment. It was increasingly becoming a ‘message' show. No one likes being preached at. At least in the films they generally kept the politics and messages subtle. The TV show is about as subtle as a brick.

4. The Good Seeds

The Good Seeds sees the trio of travellers holed up on a small farm after Galen injures his leg. How? By running off a cliff in the middle of the night. Yes, he's an idiot. Let's go this way…CHAAAAAARGE! The episode's clashes with idiocy don't end there as we're introduced to the farm owner Polar (Lonny Chapman) and his idiot eldest son Anto (Geoffrey Deuel). Anto believes everything humans do, beyond attacking cows for meat, is witchcraft. A WITCH, A WITCH, BURN HER! Etc. Including ploughing fields, windmills and crop rotation. WITCHCRAFT! Anto is actually dumber than Urko, who's mostly just driven by a combination of duty, anger and seeking the preservation of the Ape way of life. Anto is just a dumb hick. It's not really explained what happened to Norm Alden's gorilla from the last episode or why no one seemed to believe his report that the escaped humans were, in fact, dead. Urko remains on their trail here although quite how he's unable to catch up when he's on horseback and the humans are on foot is anyone's guess. Bobby Porter returns again in this episode as the youngest son; Remus. Remus being the name of one of the founders of Rome. Whether that's deliberate or not, I don't know. Anto, meanwhile, means provincial in Manchurian. Whether that is deliberate or not, I don't know. What I do know is that the actors playing apes are now mimicking Roddy McDowall resulting in improved ape performances. The two human stars are still pretty bad but this is the best of the opening four episodes despite Anto. Probably because of him. After all it's down to him overcoming his greed and learning to trust that which is different that leads to his redemption as a good person.

5. The Legacy

The series starts repeating itself here. They discover a city on their travels prompting Burke to ponder over the last time he even saw a city. Erm, Pete, that'd be two episodes ago in "The Trap". I'm surprised he didn't recognise it because they use the exact same sets in the Legacy that they used in the Trap. Only this time San Francisco becomes Oakland as Burke & Virdon unearth a holographic message from the past telling them where they can find humanity's knowledge buried in the remains of the city. Meanwhile Urko & Dr Zaius remain in hot pursuit and Virdon gets captured along with some pikey street kid called Kraik (Jackie Earle Haley). Kraik is probably the most irritating character in the series to date and there isn't a scene goes by where I don't want to Curb Stomp the grubby little fucker. But seeing as Jackie Earle Haley is playing Rorschach in Watchmen I'll cut him some slack. Our little boy's all growns up! He also played the punk biker kid in Bad News Bears, the original one in the 70's, who joins the team and becomes their star player. This guy seems to get everywhere and even disappeared for 13 years from 1993 to 2006 before making a comeback. The Legacy is a pretty weak episode on the whole. I notice Virdon's Maguffin doesn't come up once despite it being the driving force for the ending of the pilot and the majority of episode two. Surely finding technology would cause him to at least think about it? More bad acting abounds and the central characters are pretty thin after five episodes. Only a vague mention of Virdon's wife and child gives this one slightly more substance than the previous four. Worse still is Roddy McDowall having virtually nothing to do in this whole episode. He's only your best actor! Nevermind!

6. Tomorrow's Tide

This episode opens up with the trio finally reaching the ocean after heading towards it for the last 5 episodes. This allows them to debut one of the lamest looking special effects in the history of television when a shark fin goes past. It's the wrong size, there's no other disturbance in the water and it's intercut with stock footage. Lame! And POINTLESS because the shark doesn't do anything! Burke & Virdon then get themselves captured AGAIN! This time by the local fishing apes who don't understand the concept of nets and insist on using spears to fish with. Roddy McDowall gets many of the best moments, first chastising his "runaway servants" then being scared of water. The big con at the end of the episode is pretty dumb but at least the episode has a few chuckles in it. It also avoids the usual cliches of the series, like the permanent chase, in favour of more character work. The ongoing problems of the series are quite obvious in this episode. They can only afford one underwater sequence. The rest of the underwater scenes shot as long range shots of the surface. The ape masks have had issues with the mouths not being in sync with the dialogue but now Roddy's makeup has stopped moving altogether resulting in less facial acting from the star of the show and no lip sync because the lips no longer move.

7. The Surgeon

After walking for 6 episodes away from "Central City" the trio find themselves back there when Virdon is shot by a patrol. Galen can fix the situation however by tracking down his ex-girlfriend Kira (Jacqueline Scott, doing her best to channel Kim Hunter but not really succeeding). Kira seems to be an obvious play on words for Kim's character Zira from the first three Planet of the Apes movies. She's also chief surgeon in the main hospital in Central City. James Naughton's brother David also shows up playing an Ape doctor. Roddy McDowall again gets the best lines while disguising himself as a doctor. He recommends leeches and "potions" ingratiating himself to the local doctors. Virdon's fevered dreams bring a few gags. "This world is run by Apes" he shouts. No guff, Chet! The "all humans look alike" reverse racism sneaks back in there courtesy of General Urko's reappearance. His boundless ignorance continues as he tells people what they experienced instead of listening to them. Urko is starting to develop though as he seems to learn from his past experiences, which makes him one of the better characters in the series. Although I can't help but feel his politics alternate with Dr Zaius on a week to week basis. This episode has some good stuff with Galen and Kira and some actual character work on all the apes in the episode, which puts it close to the better episodes in the series. Although both human characters are wearing out their welcome by this point. I was rather glad of Virdon's injury as it allowed me to not have to listen to the bad acting although James Naughton's wisecracking is starting to raise a smile. I think it's safe to say the series is finally growing on me by this point. Although I imagine the ratings were already in trouble by now.

8. The Deception

And damn it, if the storyline continues to improve! The Deception, albeit in somewhat heavy handed fashion, creates one of the best storylines to date. We open on blind ape Fauna (Jane Actman) who father was killed by two renegade humans. Now the local apes have gathered together as a force, not unlike the Ku Klux Klan, to drive the humans into submission once more. The title refers to three deceptions. Firstly the most obvious one as Burke, reminding Fauna of a past love, pretends to be an ape. Secondly Galen infiltrates the vigilante ape group "The Dragoons" pretending to be a human hating vigilante himself. Roddy McDowall is so over the top it provokes James Naughton's latest quip; "I didn't know apes were made of ham". Thirdly Fauna's own uncle Sestus (John Milford) is one of the Dragoons himself casting doubt over the events that lead to Fauna's father's death. Layered! I love it. We even get our first tension between the trio of regulars as Galen takes exception to his perception of Burke leading Fauna on under his fake-ape disguise and some genuinely heartfelt and tragic scenes follow. Sadly they don't really have the time in a 45 minute episode to explore them fully. However the episode still finds the time to build to a crescendo and have not one, but two thoroughly satisfying conclusions to the storyline arcs. This is the best episode in the series so far.

9. The Horse Race

General Urko, being a bit of a jerk, has started racing his horses against the local prefect's horses with their land and horses on the line. He's amassing himself a personal fortune in the process by winning the races with nefarious cheating. When a blacksmith's son is captured for riding a horse, a crime punishable by death, whilst saving Galen's life Virdon races Urko's horse for the prefect. Some really badly cut horse taming scenes follow where Virdon's face is shown in close up shouting "heyaaa" and then you get a long shot of the stunt double. Now, the plot goes to hell after that. Zaius, although never shown, allows a human to ride in the race. Everyone schemes trying to get their best interests in the outcome of the race with some, Urko in particular, winning something whatever the result. The thing that irked me when I read the plot for this episode was this; how could Virdon race without being recognised and shot by Urko? Well, his horse throws him into the mud before the race starts and he's unrecognisable because he's so dirty. Despite this the continuity in the race is terrible with the distance between the two horses changing from shot to shot. Urko's keystone cops reaction to Virdon's eventual discovery and the total mess that follows has only one point of note; Burke's 4th or 5th scene during the series where he dropkicks someone. They're clearly having a good time shooting all the horse riding but the plot for this one is lame.

10. The Interrogation

Urko's comedic stupidity rules all in this one. The usual plot devices start as Burke is captured. But then a scientist called Wanda (Beverly Garland) decides to brainwash Burke. Urko's response is tremendous: "how can you wash the brain if you don't take it out of the SKULL?" I gave the ape a round of applause for that. Beverly Garland, known for DOA and Airport '74, is actually one of the best actors to don the monkey makeup using the same facial ticks that made Kim Hunter's performance as Zira so moving. A shame that the makeup has gotten so cheap by this point and can't capture all of her movements well. Roddy McDowall tries his best to steal the show by dressing in drag but considering he's already dressed as a monkey the effect is somewhat lessened although his falsetto voice is hilarious. The introduction of Galen's parents is a little out of left field and doesn't really further the plot. The brainwashing is rubbish but the action isn't bad. The problems with the series are really obvious during this episode; the budget isn't big enough and the storyline is getting repetitive. The highs of the Deception are a distant memory already as these last two episodes have really failed in what they set out to do. Although both episodes have had decent action. It's almost as if CBS decided to pump out a more action-based TV show in an attempt to boost the numbers.

11. The Tyrant

The Tyrant in question is Urko's old Academy buddy Aboro (Percy Rodrigues); an ambitious gorilla hell-bent on power and gold. After a lengthy opening about gorillas stealing human's grain Galen goes undercover as Octavio (Zaius' crippled assistant) to offer Aboro a shot at replacing Urko in an attempt to implode the gorilla hierarchy. While this was probably a great idea on paper this is perhaps the most boring of the Apes TV series. Having the middle section of the episode drag out becomes especially frustrating when the ending is so very rushed. A scene between Aboro, Urko and Galen had great potential for tension but ended up being cut back to a matter of seconds. It's also notable that Burke & Virdon's characters have been reduced. Burke's wisecracks are gone and Virdon's knowledge base is too. The scripts are getting flatter since the excellent "Deception" episode. The characters don't get enough work. Only Galen and Urko seem to interest the writers by this point, which is sad because they were working on getting a good ensemble together and just threw it away.

12. The Cure

If the low budget nature of Planet of the Apes was ever noticeable it showed up strongly in the opening moments of the Cure where mosquitoes are animated. It's rubbish. We also drop into a story in mid-plot with Virdon having some sort of relationship with a girl called Amy (Clint Eastwood favourite Sondra Locke). A village gets struck down with malaria and the titular cure is what the trio have to come up with before Urko institutes his own cure; FIRE! And lots of it. The subplot involving Virdon & Amy is a little flat. For some reason Sondra Locke just wasn't a good actress unless Clint Eastwood was knocking around. This began in the Outlaw Josey Wales two years after this. Urko is the only entertainment here with the script being particularly bland. "This village will burn" he shouts before kicking a doctor in the chest. Urko was quickly becoming the star of the TV show by this point and also starred in the follow up cartoon series, which was even worse than the live action show.

13. The Liberator

This episode never managed to make the air but is included on DVD releases of the TV series. It sees Burke and Virdon captured (SHOCK) but this time by humans intent on giving slaves to the gorillas to protect themselves. They're basically a big pack of jerks wearing leather with bad haircuts. Burke gets in some of his trademark humour, which had been missing for the previous four episodes. Virdon & Burke try to convince the colony of scumbags that they're capable of rebellion. You get the feeling this episode was planting seeds for the long term future of the Apes series, which is probably why it never made it onto TV as there was no long term future. In particular this episode falls down because of head jerk's son Miro (Ben Andrews), who's a terrible actor. The script doesn't help matters. Unfortunately Miro is the guy who gets talked into becoming a hero when his girlfriend Talia (Jennifer Ashley) is chosen to be selected by the gorillas for hard labour. There's also some interesting points on organised religion and the rights and wrongs of using weapons of mass destruction. The whole thing is even capped off my an explosion, albeit a lame one, and is better than most of the episodes post-Deception. This was probably the best shot at a conclusion the series had as it pointed out where the series was heading. Sadly it never aired and the final episode on TV was…

14. Up Above the World So High

Zaius and Urko, perhaps sensing this is the last episode, both make appearances here. A smarter than usual human Leuric (Frank Aletter) builds himself a glider and that attracts the attention of both the Apes and our trio of heroes. The big issue I have immediately is that humans are supposed to be dumber in this time period and yet humanity seems much smarter in general throughout the series and Leuric is a step too far. Carsia (Joanna Barnes) is the Ape interested in Leuric's flying abilities. She's sent from "Central City", the altered name for "Ape City", to ensure Leuric builds the flying machine for the Apes. Galen goes undercover when Leuric is captured and his macking on Carsia almost steals the show. But then Roddy McDowall has always been the star of the TV show, and the later movies. The flat ending to the show is a real disappointment and showed in 46 minutes why the show was doomed. The special effects and makeup aren't very special, the acting isn't great and the scripts were weak. Up Above the World So High was the final episode aired as the Planet of the Apes was cancelled after 13 episodes screened on CBS. Oddly enough the series was quite the hit in the UK and I vaguely remember seeing it as a kid. Another animated spin-off followed, which also only ran for 13 episodes. It featured the apes having more high technology than before with them armed heavily with tanks and planes. Obviously that was beyond the budget of the movies. The animation was pretty poor, as was standard for the time, and it's aged even worse than the rest of the series.

Behind the Planet of the Apes (1998)



After about 20 years have passed since a sensation there's usually an intense wave of nostalgia relating to it. In the 1990's this was the case with Planet of the Apes. Not quite on the level of the Star Wars saga that received cinematic re-releases around the same time but significant enough for a feature length documentary to be commissioned. Once again Roddy McDowall was hired, this time to narrate and present the feature. Nowadays with DVD's frequently featuring "making of" documentaries as standard this sort of thing isn't quite as exciting as it once was. I've pretty much lost count of how many documentaries I've seen about films in the last decade. I guess that's just the world of the DVD for you. This particular documentary was made for television and broadcast in September 1998. It's included in the DVD box set for the Planet of the Apes. They secured interviews with the vast majority of they key players including Charlton Heston.

I learned quite a lot from watching Behind the Planet of the Apes. Firstly author Pierre Boulle didn't think it was good enough to make into a movie in the first place and that his book la Planete de Singes was a "lesser work". I also found out that when Rod Serling was hired by producer Arthur Jacobs he had to write 30 drafts of the script and even when he was finished it still required a re-write by Michael Wilson. Originally the script intended to stick closer to Boulle's novel where the apes were technologically more advanced. They had helicopters and cars. The budget for the film, $5.8M, meant these were among the first aspects to go in order to make the film with that budget. Every studio rejected the film pitch until Charlton Heston attached himself to it. Originally Edward G. Robinson was cast as Dr Zaius and even shot the test footage that got the film approved by Fox. Funnily enough the rest of the cast in the test included James Brolin as Cornelius and series regular Linda Harrison as Zira. During shooting Heston caught the ‘flu, which explains why his voice is so hoarse when he utters the famous "take your stinking hands off me" line. During filming the gorillas, chimpanzees and orangutans ate separately at lunch without being asked to. They naturally gravitated to their own kind. Originally there was no plan for a sequel but Fox, originally cool on the idea, demanded one.

The sequel had its budget slashed because Fox had suffered several big budget failures in the musical field. Beneath had its budget slashed to $3M, almost half the first film. Ursus, the gorilla leader in Beneath, was originally offered to Orson Welles! He turned it down. The apocalyptic end to Beneath was Charlton Heston's idea. He suspected it'd negate the need for further sequels. By the time they got to shooting Escape the producers/writers left the ending open just in case the studio asked for another sequel, which they did. Conquest's violent conclusion was based on the Watts Riots. The original ending to Battle saw Caesar killed and usurped by Aldo but the studio and producer wanted a more upbeat conclusion to the franchise, which was ending with the fifth film.

Planet of the Apes (2001)



When Tim Burton announced he was planning on re-making Planet of the Apes the overall feeling was fairly optimistic. They'd also fixed another long running Apes problem…cash. With a huge budget of $100M the film makers could afford makeup, space ships and sets that would look far more grandiose than ever before in the Apes saga. The resultant visuals were nothing short of amazing. Unfortunately they were let down by Tim Burton's confusing vision. The only actress who I really enjoyed in the re-make was Helena Bonham-Carter who somehow managed to look cute as a monkey and took over the Kim Hunter role. The rest of the actors don't fare quite so well. Mark Wahlberg is frankly dismal in the lead. There are times when his wooden style works fine (like playing a cop in the Departed or an awkward porn star in Boogie Nights) but this really isn't the film he should have been starring in. Burton's insistence on playing his version closer to the book than the 1968 original didn't win him many fans with most people critical of the ending. In fact 20th Century Fox included a card in early DVD releases trying to explain the ending. That's probably not a good sign. Charlton Heston, appearing as Zaius, and Linda Harrison (Nova) both made small appearances as a nice tip of the hat to the original film. However there wasn't enough about Planet of the Apes (2001) to make it worthwhile. It simply doesn't have a lot to say compared to the original. Despite taking a lot of money the flak it received resulted in no interest in sequels this time around. While it's slick and expensive it lacks heart and is never really sure whether it wants to be satirical or a comedy or not. Several people I've spoken to about Tim Burton's career consider this to be his only misfire. While I don't agree with that this is certainly his worst film. On the upside most people don't remember how bad the last couple of Apes movies were. Compared to them this wasn't bad.

RATINGS –

Planet of the Apes *****
Beneath the Planet of the Apes ***
Escape from the Planet of the Apes ***
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes *1/2
Battle for the Planet of the Apes BOO!
Planet of the Apes (2001) **

BOX OFFICE –

Planet of the Apes $32.6M
Beneath the Planet of the Apes $17.4M
Escape from the Planet of the Apes $12.3M
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes $9M
Battle for the Planet of the Apes $8.8M
Planet of the Apes $180M

The 411 –

Planet of the Apes is a legendary and iconic film. One of the most famous of the 21st century. Often parodied, imitated and respected by other filmmakers. The money-spinning sequels became increasingly superfluous and cheap as time went by until they were so useless the studio simply gave up. Then the Apes moved into TV and the lack of budget looked even more obvious there. Planet of the Apes precedes Star Wars when it comes to merchandising and product tie-in's making it one of the biggest money makers of all time. Roddy McDowall became synonymous with the series after appearing in most of the films and the TV show and often had show stealing moments. There was a feeling that as soon as some of the better actors were no longer involved in the series (Charlton Heston, Kim Hunter, Maurice Evans) that the performances went badly downhill. The lack of continuity is at times frustrating as is the lack of budget for successful movies.