Series Link #4 08.19.08: St. Trinian's

Posted by Arnold Furious on 08.19.2008

Alistair Sim in drag, bags of George Cole, Frankie Howerd dancing and Russell Brand.

Series Link #4: St Trinians

Alistair Sim in drag, bags of George Cole, Frankie Howerd dancing and Russell Brand.

SERIES LINK

Frequently when reviewing movies I notice I'm missing sequels here and there from classic series. In line with one of my key film watching beliefs I'll be making a point of tidying up some of my sequel history. The belief in question being that as long as I enjoyed the original I'll watch any sequel made of it. I don't know where this belief came from but it's one that seems to work out for me quite frequently and there are many film series where I have enjoyed multiple sequels based on my love and respect for the initial instalment (Alien, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Rocky etc).

Series Link #1 – The Pink Panther
Series Link #2 – The Road To…
Series Link #3 – Planet of the Apes

For this fourth column I'm taking a look at a classic series that is currently being re-worked. Here I present to you…

Series Link #4:

St Trinians

How many films?

Six. With a 7th in the works for next year.

Starring?

Alistair Sim (2 times), George Cole (4 times), Joyce Grenfall (3 times), Terry-Thomas, Sid James, Frankie Howerd, Joan Sims, Beryl Reid, Dora Bryan, Reg Varney, Rupert Everett, Colin Firth, Russell Brand.

Directed by?

Frank Launder (5 times)

Series Span:

33 years. From the first film in 1954 to the 2007 re-launch. The original four films were bunched up before the belated 1980 sequel.

The Belles of St. Trinian's (1954)



The St Trinians characters began life as cartoons drawn by Ronald Searle. You really don't get cartoons like Searle's anymore. Mainly because of various social taboo's that have appeared since Searle's time. He wrote about hell raising schoolgirls at a public school called St Trinians. The older 6th form girls were usually very sexy and many of the girls smoked as a sign of rebellion. Although a lot of the pranks are Dennis the Menace like in their juvenile and old fashioned way there's a very definite adult overtone that's not present in many other mainstream cartoons. Searle's output during the 1950's, after being held as a POW in World War II, was phenomenal and there was enough material and public love for the cartoons that a film series was created.

Sidney Gilliat set about converting the drawings to film. He'd already had success writing the Lady Vanishes and Jamaica Inn. His co-writer, Frank Launder, went on to direct all the original St Trinians films starting with Belles. The screenplay saw more emphasis placed on the teaching staff and other adults rather than the girls themselves as better actors could be hired for the more experienced characters. In particular Alistair Sim who played both bookie Clarence Fritton and his sister, the school's headmistress, Millicent. Any film that has Alistair Sim in drag is off to a good start in my opinion. His falsetto voice is the benchmark for any actor hoping to pull off the feat of playing a woman onscreen. The film also featured George Cole as spiv ‘go-between' Flash ‘Arry. Flash allowed the schoolgirls to make money by placing wagers with the local bookie and selling their chemistry project; homemade gin. All of this probably wouldn't play well as a lightweight comedy in modern times but in 1954 it was all good light-hearted fun. The violence of St Trinians has more in common with Tom & Jerry than the modern knife culture with teachers getting bashed over the head with mallets and getting cans of paint dropped on them.

The supporting cast features several well known actors including Carry On regulars Sid James and Joan Sims (who at 24 is quite the looker). The whole set up seems a little dated and some of Searle's patented humour and style is somewhat lost in translation but the original St Trinian's film has enough humour from its main players to stand the test of time. It's not as good as the better Ealing comedies (Ladykillers, Lavender Hill Mob and especially Kind Hearts and Coronets) probably because it has no Alec Guinness. But that doesn't mean it's not a solid comedy. Unlike a lot of Ealing comedies it spawned a number of sequels though, which is what brings it to the attention of Series Link. With one film in the bag the series already has potential for many sequels based on scams (the opening film deals with a fixed horse race) and the antics of the girls. There are also established characters right from the off. The most memorable being Flash Harry, whose character has persisted in every movie since.

BEST BIT – Flash ‘Arry. This is a compilation of his clips from the film. You also get plenty of Alistair Sim in drag as a bonus.



Blue Murder at St. Trinian's (1957)



The sequel to Belles starts off quite badly. With Alistair Sim relegated to a short cameo (as the headmistress locked up for unknown reasons) the comedy needs to come from a different source. George Cole once again returns as Flash Harry however to provide the backbone of the film. This time in charge of the St Trinian's Licensed Marriage Bureau. An imminent Italian prince has contacted the agency and wants to see some of St Trinian's brightest in person. Of course they can't just up and leave during school term, especially with a new headmistress on the way and the army encamped at the school, so they rig the UNESCO competition. The approach being to break into the Ministry of Education and swap some test results around. The break-in is marvellous and a deliberate attempt to spoof Rififi; complete with umbrella. Although it's rather noisy by comparison to the classic film. But then St Trinian's has always been a rather noisy place. The father of one of the girls shows up to make matters complicated as he's just pulled off a rather ambitious diamond blag.

Joyce Grenfall reprises her role from the first film and Terry Thomas is always a solid addition to any line up. Lisa Lee debuts as Miss Brenner, a character that would remain on board for the next four films. Dilys Laye plays one of the main girls. You may not know the name but you will know the face, she's another Carry On girl (a star of 4 Carry On films including "Camping"). Glamour model Sabrina also makes an appearance but only uses her best charms and doesn't get any lines. The skirts seem a lot shorter in this movie and there's no doubt they were trying to use sex to sell the flick, which does rather take it a little further away from Ronald Searle's vision. Joyce's character Sgt Gates goes undercover, again, as an interpreter. This time spotted after about five seconds by Flash Harry who doesn't let much get by him. Terry Thomas meanwhile plays the owner of the buses who's in a spot of legal trouble and agrees to transport the St Trinian's school to Rome in order to get himself solvent again. On discovering Sgt Gates is about to come into some money, courtesy of her cover lie, Terry Thomas turns on the old charm and we get some classic caddish moments of comedy from him.

The tour of Europe is a bit of a missed opportunity with a multitude of cites skipped over in seconds. There seems to be an urgency about the picture once it gets going and they're in a real hurry to get to the conclusion whipping the film out in less than 90 minutes.

BEST BIT – The singing of the St Trinian's anthem complete with kidnapping and replacing of the new headmistress with the diamond thief in drag.

The Pure Hell of St. Trinian's (1960)

In the total absence of Alistair Sim the main role in Pure Hell goes to Cecil Parker (Lady Vanishes, Ladykillers, Swiss Family Robinson) as Professor Canford. He takes over the pupils after St. Trinian's burns down. The girls, all charged with arson, are thrown before court. The trial is another missed opportunity, almost entirely devoid of laughs, and only saved by George Cole's turn as Flash Harry. Joyce Grenfall also returns to continue her long-standing relationship with the series. If the previous two films suffered from a lack of antics from the schoolgirls then Pure Hell gets even worse. Their antics limited to Rosalie (Julie Alexander) eyeing up the judge and attempting to wreck the court case.

Pure Hell rumbles on slowly after the court case completely disregarding the girls and commits the ultimate cinematic sin in the process; it's boring. The arrival of Sid James and John Le Mesurier improve matters because at least there are decent actors boring the audience instead of the usual. Canford comes up with a half baked plan to take the girls to Greece, not noticing the ship is off around Africa, with Flash Harry and Sgt Gates along for the ride. With Gates stowing away in a lifeboat, with Canford and Harry finding her there, Sid James shady character "Wyatt Earp" jettisons them into the ocean and they end up on a desert island. Again it's Flash Harry who steals most of the scenes. In particular when he compares the situation (of himself, Sgt Gates and Professor Canford being marooned) to the Blue Lagoon. When they finally make it to Arabia the kidnapped 6th formers are being used as exotic dancers. One such teenage girl promptly performs a striptease in a club called Mohammed. Some pretty risqué stuff for the time and something you probably couldn't get away with now (although the 2007 version eludes to oral sex so you never know). The rest of the girls are carted off to the Emir's to become part of his Harem.

The biggest problem with Pure Hell is that by losing the school in the opening scene they lose one of the key ingredients of the success of the first two films. While Harry is good for chuckles he's less fun without the gaggle of schoolkids. And the kids have such small roles in Pure Hell that it's barely a St. Trinian's movie at all. Tedium follows and the vast majority of Pure Hell is nothing short of mind-numbing. Perhaps that's what the titular Pure Hell was referring to; the viewing experience. It doesn't even have the decency to keep itself short running a lengthy 94 minutes.

BEST BIT – the soliloquy striptease to Hamlet, which is about as bizarre a thing as you're likely to see in the St. Trinian's series. Swiftly followed by John Le Mesurier's dancing over the end credits, which got the biggest chuckle out of me the whole film could muster.

The Great St. Trinian's Train Robbery (1966)

Reputedly sick of appearing in the St Trinian's movies Joyce Grenfall turned down the fourth film thus finally ending the on/off wedding subplot between her and her boss in the local constabulary. In order to plug the talent gaps, now more noticeable with each film, Frankie Howerd, Dora Bryan and Reg Varney (On the Buses) were all hired to pad out the cast. With the school burnt down, again, the board of education is preparing to celebrate. The new Labour government will surely phase the school out. It doesn't quite work out for them as Sir Horace (Raymond Huntley), the Labour education minister, is a little crooked and having an affair with Amber Spottiswood (Dora Bryan), the current headmistress of St. Trinian's. So he shoves an £80,000 grant her way to improve the school and Flash Harry (George Cole) sets himself up a bookies with the cash. This is the first St. Trinian's film to be shot in colour and they've learned some valuable lessons from Pure Hell. The girls are slightly more involved, although still not to the degree they should be. Meanwhile the new school building is loaded with loot from the Great Train Robbery. The gangsters want the cash back with Alphonse (Frankie Howerd), a hairdresser from Monte Carlo moonlighting as a criminal, leading the charge. He sends his two daughters undercover to St. Trinian's in order to scam the cash out.

This film succeeds where Pure Hell failed so badly because of its improved pacing. The last 30 minutes or so is definitive ‘caper' stuff not unlike It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World. It's basically a 30 minute chase scene with the girls in pursuit of the bank robbers and the money. With all the other grown up characters involved in the same chase and its great caper antics all round. It's all very silly and has worryingly racist overtones. It's odd seeing some older films and how black, Asian and minorities characters were portrayed. Usually as stupid or easily confused. The worst culprit in this film being the coloured conductor, which is just a white guy in blackface. When Frankie Howerd dons blackface to make his getaway it just gets worse.

The satirical humour works quite well but nowhere near as well as the train chases at the films conclusion. It's certainly a huge improvement over Pure Hell but it's clear the series had lost its way after just two films and while this is a much better way to end the original series than Pure Hell I'm beginning to think my memories of these films painted them in a far better light than their actual worth. Although this is one of the better St. Trinian's films and probably on a par with Belles in that respect. Alistair Sim's performance in Belles remains the highlight of the series but the overall plot and pacing of the Great St. Trinian's Train Robbery makes it perhaps the most accessible of the series.

BEST BIT – Frankie Howerd's morris dancing.

The Wildcats of St. Trinian's (1980)

After a substantial time away Frank Launder tried to revive St. Trinian's in the 80's. However none of the original cast were interested including George Cole who was busy working on Minder. Knowing full well there was little hope of re-creating the atmosphere of the earlier films Launder went for a more adult approach. There was more focus on the 6th form girls and the sexual overtones because far less clouded. There was also nudity, which is about the only good thing to come out of the film. Joe Melia replaces George Cole as Flash Harry and does a spectacularly awful job of it. The girls are all terrible actors too and were mostly hired for their…umm…assets. The resultant film is a terrible piece of shit and thankfully isn't available on DVD and is the only Launder directed St. Trinian's effort to not appear on the DVD box set. Some generous chap has however put some footage on YouTube so you can judge for yourself as to how bad it really is. Enjoy!

BEST BIT – 30 seconds in. Naked girls in the sea you say? Not arf! The only good thing about Wildcats is oggling girls in school uniform. If that's your thing then you may be able to track down a shoddy VHS copy somewhere.



St. Trinian's (2007)



Most people who've reviewed St. Trinian's have been fairly unimpressed and rightfully so. The film is shrewdly marketed at both the teenage girly crowd and the male audience who want to see sexy birds in schoolgirl attire. However the latter will be more inclined to notice the huge issues St. Trinian's has. Firstly the majority of its gags are simply stolen from better films that the modern young audience won't have seen. In particular I'm thinking of the line from the Italian Job; "you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off" but there are many more. The film at least attempts something none of the earlier films had the guts to do and that's focus on the girls rather than the teaching staff. Of course, this does eliminate some of the best actors from having bigger parts. In particular I'm thinking of Jodie Whittaker, who you might remember from Peter O'Toole flick Venus. She's quite brilliant in St. Trinian's. Entirely aware of how bad everyone is around her and still content to develop a character despite the rather weak script. Speaking of the script, the lifting of material from other films really comes off as amateurish. It's not a tribute or homage if you're hoping the vast majority of your audience doesn't spot where it's from. The University Challenge spoof, starring Stephen Fry, is particularly bad as they lift all the gags from Starter for 10 and even cheat the same way. The film makes no pretences about the lack of maturity of it's own audience and tries to play on schoolground divisions including "chavs" and "emos" in the schoolgirls own divisions, which leads to a "comical" moment where a chav and emo hug after the success of the school and then turn away in "comical" disgust. That's pretty much the cutting edge for St. Trinian's and there's no hiding its target audience. The updated version contains more drugs, which have become less taboo somehow, and yet the only time cigarettes (and old St. Trinian's favourite) are introduced it's for a CSI gag. No smoking allowed in the Nanny State! Of course drugs are ok because they're illegal so obviously kids won't be doing that anyway. Wink, wink.

The plot of St. Trinian's sees the school in huge debt and also on the brink of closure by the Board of Education headed by ‘baddie' Colin Firth. The Alistair Sim role goes to Rupert Everett; gamely dragging it up although the name change to Camilla is an obvious dig at Prince Charles' wife and not a funny one either. The girls decide to save the day themselves and plot to steal Vermeer's "Girl with the Pearl Earring" and get Flash Harry (Russell Brand) to fence it. It's not a surprise to see Brand appearing in something so lowbrow. After all most of his gags involve shagging and other tasteless and yet unfunny material (the man showed up to work dressed as Osama bin Laden on September 12th and was thankfully fired showing MTV at least has some standards). His book release last year was entitled "My Booky Wook". To say he's widely disliked by, well, men in general would be an understatement. So he's not a surprise casting choice in a film simply not targeted at men. The 2007 St. Trinian's wisely avoids the dated material of the first four films but simply can't capture the spirit of St. Trinian's without it. The modern updated aspects just aren't funny. Unless you're a teenage girl living in the UK. The cast should be ashamed of themselves for even considering taking part and only the unrecognisable Everett and Jodie Whitaker really come out of it unscathed. Celia Imrie and Stephen Fry in particular look embarrassed to be there. And so they should. The finale where the girls dance around to that pop group that Ashley Cole's wife is in…(Girls Aloud – I had to look it up)…just about sums up the film. Naff music and a bothersome undertone of unity that the filmmakers (and the useless Labour government) somehow hope to instil on the British youth and have no chance of doing. St. Trinian's is a weak attempt at re-booting a franchise that was already dated and dead. And because it was popular there will be another one next year. Yippee.

BEST BIT – There isn't one. Unless the part where Talulah Riley gets made over, she's already really attractive, and gets transformed into the slutty St. Trinian's girl counts. This clip shows Talulah's arrival at St. Trinian's complete with rubbish music and an audience that laughs at the bad jokes.



RATINGS –

The Belles of St. Trinian's ***1/2
Blue Murder at St. Trinian's ***
The Pure Hell of St. Trinian's *
The Great St. Trinian's Train Robbery ***1/2
The Wildcats of St. Trinian's BOO!
St. Trinian's BOOO!

BOX OFFICE –

No reliable box office figures are around for the earlier films.

The 411 –

St. Trinian's is one of those film franchises that anyone living in the UK should be familiar with. I seem to remember the Great St. Trinian's Train Robbery being on TV all the time when I was a kid. It's like a British tradition of sorts. Like James Bond or more accurately the Carry On films. St. Trinian's was a more child orientated version of those Carry On films. Lots of wacky antics but minimal smut. The older films have aged quite badly with only the Great St. Trinian's Train Robbery standing up on its own merits. Belles of St. Trinian's needed saving by Alistair Sim in drag. The series low points are horrendous and frequent. Pure Hell of St. Trinian's has to be one of the most boring films I've ever had the misfortune to see. Wildcats is a mess and the re-boot is a total failure unless you're the right gender and age group. A quick look at the voting on IMDB reveals that males vote it a 5.2 while females vote it a 7.0. Females under 18 vote it 8.1. I think that says a lot about the audience that film had. As far as classic series go St. Trinian's hasn't aged terribly well and you'd probably be better off checking out some Ronald Searle books instead.