The Big Screen Bulletin 08.18.08: Being Taught by Mrs. Tingle

Posted by Chad Webb on 09.08.2008

A nightmare with Randy Couture, the box office results, "Spider-Man 4 & 5" updates, release date changes, the "Arrested Development" movie, "Ghostbusters 3", new DVD releases, new quickees, and much much more!

Straight to Video Nightmares

The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior







Starring: Randy Couture, Michael Copon, and Karen Shenaz David
Directed By: Russell Mulcahy
Written By: Randy McCormick
Release Date: August 19, 2008
Running Time: 109 minutes
Rated PG-13 for violence, and sexual content including references.

2002's The Scorpion King marks the one and only film I ever walked out on. The Rock came on screen, said "Boo!", and that was all the reason my friends and I needed to exit and see Murder by Numbers. I actually did end up watching the entire film on DVD, but it was still lifeless and sad. Six years later, The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior is unleashed as a prequel of sorts to the original spinoff of the remake, The Mummy. Dwayne Johnson is absent for this adventure, but I doubt he would have improved the proceedings much. The Scorpion King 2 is about as memorable as a photo of Kim Kardashian's derrière on the internet.

The funfilled story begins with young Mathayus (Michael Copon) joining the Black Scorpion soldier force. Unfortunately, he also witnesses his father's death at the hands of Sargon (Randy Couture), who then uses his power to ascend to the throne. When Mathayus is older, he finishes with his training, and discovers that Sargon is the new King, and he must obey him. This lasts all of two seconds, when Mathayus escapes. He must locate a weapon that can pierce the magic forcefield Sargon has protecting him. So Mathayus reluctantly recruits Layla (a chick not named after the Derek & the Dominos tune) and Ari (Simon Quarterman), the conveniently intelligent white guy who knows dozens of languages and majors in...well anything that pertains to this premise. In case you haven't guessed, Layla wants a bit more than friendship from Mathayus. The trio embarks on the quest for the sword of Damocles, and encounter one perilous turn after the other.

Despite Rock imitation Michael Copon being the main character, the casing above and direction focus tells us all that we should want to see this for MMA fighter Randy Couture. He is Sargon, the evil ruler under the influence of dark witchcraft. We are privied to trivial scenes of Sargon utilizing arm bars and other UFC type brawling maneuvers. Because casually sparring with random servants in the throne room is a practice multiple Kings performed. I would not want to face Couture in the Octagon, but I think I could outact him any day of the week. Every line is delivers is pain similar to fingernails on a chalkboard.

Copon is a pretty boy who should be thanking his lucky stars that he ended up in any sort of project. He was previously the Blue Ranger in Power Ranger Time Force, and he recently can be seen in Bring It On: In It To Win It. At least he's finding some jobs right? Karen Shenaz David is Layla, the attractive female dressed in skimpy leather clad outfits. Her minor role as Courthouse Reporter #1 in Batman Begins has enabled her to gain B-movie parts like this. Do not expect either of these two to be names at the cineplex near you.

Director Russell Mulcahy is a name that might sound familiar. He was at the helm for Highlander I & II, in addition to Resident Evil Extinction, and the satisfactory made-for-TV movie 3: The Dale Earnhardt Story. So it leaves me completely flummoxed that he tackles The Curse of King Tut's Tomb and The Scorpion King 2 in his spare time. In all seriousness, the special effects, costumes, set design, and even the cinematography are very suitable and even good for this sort of fare. What drags the film and the viewer through the mud is the hideous and putrid screenplay tossing out such unique lines like "I've got a bad feeling about this."

So let me get one thing straight. Mathayus starts out as a young Black Scorpion bodyguard rebel, becomes a fierce warrior that we see as the Rock, then transforms into a CGI scorpion with the Rock's head? I'm lost. If that wasn't enough, Couture morphs into an invisible scorpion. This is a poor example of a swords, sandals, and sorcery affair. The minotaurs, the Underworld, the preposterous twists, and all the acting make episodes of Hercules seem like Shakesperian theater. If you really are desperate to find out how the Rock becomes the Scorpion King, I'd wait until this 107 minute misery ends up on the Sci-Fi channel.

Final Rating = 3.0/10.0

The News Bulletin

Bangkok is More Dangerous than the Tropics
The fall box office got off to its shakiest start in years as Danny and Oxide Pang's Nicolas Cage hitman actioner "Bangkok Dangerous" barely beat holdover comedy "Tropic Thunder." The R-rated "Bangkok Dangerous," distributed by Lionsgate, grossed an estimated $7.8 million as it bowed in 2,650 theaters. "Tropic Thunder," which has enjoyed notably strong legs, declined 35% in its fourth frame to an estimated $7.5 million from 3,446. Cume is $96.8 million. The first weekend after Labor Day is always sluggish, but this year the frame was affected by the start of the NFL football season and was particularly dreary. Total ticket sales at the domestic B.O. are estimated at $64 million-$66 million for the weekend, making it the softest in eight years. In 2000, ticket sales came in at $61.7 million. After that, 2003 was the worst, bringing in just north of $67 million. The weekend was down as much as 17% from the same frame a year ago, when Lionsgate saw strong success with prestige title "3:10 to Yuma," which opened to $14 million.

"Bangkok Dangerous" is the Pang brothers' English-language remake of their Thai film. Their last English-language outing was "The Messengers," which opened to $14.7 million. Lionsgate said "Bangkok Dangerous," the only new release of the weekend, performed in line with expectations. Studio acquired the project for domestic distribution and also put up marketing coin. "It will be a nicely profitable film for us," Lionsgate distribution topper Steve Rothenberg said. In September, Lionsgate's Cage starrer "Lord of War" debuted to $9.4 million on its way to cuming $24.1 million domestically. "Bangkok Dangerous" played heavily male, or 58%, while 46% of the audience was between the ages of 20 and 30. Overseas, "Bangkok Dangerous" has earned $5 million in France and Spain. It was set to bow in Russia over the weekend. Warner Bros.' "The Dark Knight" continued its boffo run, coming in at No. 4. Also in its eighth weekend, "Dark Knight" dipped a slim 34% to an estimated $5.7 million from 2,575 for a cume of $512.2 million.

I was off by about $300k, but Nicolas Cage can still bring the box office numbers even when the reviews suffer. Cage is certainly in the middle of a slump in terms of quality flicks, but at least they are somewhat entertaining, and deep down, we all know he can bring his A-game whenever he wants. Obviously all the rest are holdovers. I'm glad to see Traitor staying in the top 5. It deserves to be there. I am a bit surprised that Disaster Movie didn't just drop right off the top 10. Mamma Mia! and The Pineapple Express have done outstanding business as they prepare to exit theaters in upcoming weeks. And The Dark Knight continues to pull in mounds of cash. Next week we have all-stars facing off. We have The Women against the follow up from the best picture winning Coens' Burn After Reading, and then Righteous Kill with Pacino and De Niro. My money is on the Raging Bull and The Godfather. Adults will flock to the theaters for them.






"Arrested Development: The Movie" Not Unanimous
One person not keen on making an "Arrested Development" movie is co-star Michael Cera. The "Superbad" and "Juno" actor tells The National Post that "I don't think I would want to see a movie of the series if I was a fan, anyway... And I don't really see a need for it if you can get the three seasons on DVD." Despite lots of online talk that a film based on the cancelled but highly acclaimed Fox comedy series is in the works, Cera admits he hasn't heard of any plans for such a film. This conflicts with comments by his on-screen dad and co-star Jason Bateman back in June when he told MTV News that "We all want to do it. All the actors want to do it, the writers want to do it, and the boss wants to do it. And they are working on making a deal, probably as we speak."

I am a bit torn with these talks. On one hand, Firefly was cancelled, but then the Serenity movie gave me plenty of closure, and was nicely packed into a film. If Arrested Development were to take that approach in a movie, I am in favor. If they do not have a clear trajectory, or just feel like getting the cast back together, I say wait awhile. There needs to be a good reason for making this. We do have three seasons on DVD as Cera stated. So what would a film give me that those episodes did not? Still, to see these characters on the big screen would be a dream come true.






Calling the Ghostbusters Thrice
Sony Pictures has hired "The Office" co-executive producers to pen a script for a third "Ghostbusters" film reports the trades. Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky will pen the script which is designed to bring back together the original cast of Harold Ramis, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd and Ernie Hudson. Eisenberg and Stupnitsky just wrote the comedy "The Year One" which Ramis directed. No deals will be made with the original cast until the script is ready. Ramis with Aykroyd wrote and Ivan Reitman directed the first two films released in 1984 and 1989 respectively. The news comes just a few days after Aykroyd revealed in an interview with E! News that "two sharp young writers are purported to be writing the sequel" - and that he'd love to get Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow involved.

Now I heard about this sequel a year or so back and it was reported to be CGI. I thought that would have been interesting, but this newest update does not mention that. I am usually not in favor of sequels, but this could be a blast, especially with Apatow and Rogen involved. The last sequel was really bad, but still a movie I can watch it and laugh. On the podcast, my associates Will Helm, Leonard Hayhurst, George Sirois, and Tony Farinella disagreed with me and said the franchise should stay gone. Normally I would have agreed, but older franchises have proven lately to be solid and successful upon a return (See Live Free or Die Hard, Rocky Balboa, Rambo, and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull). They also said Rogen and Apatow would not mesh well in this series. Again I would disagree. You might recall that Harold Ramis was Rogen's father in Knocked Up. We know they have good chemistry at least, and even though some might say they churn out the same type of characters, or are overexposed, the duo keeps making hilarious hits for a reason. I, for one, think people do not give Rogen's comedic range enough credit. If this third installment does move forward, I hope it turns out well.






Web Slinging Two More Times
Some seriously good, or bad depending upon your perspective, news today from Deadline Hollywood Daily which indicates that Tobey Maguire and director Sam Raimi will be returning to the "Spider-Man" franchise for a fourth and potentially fifth film. Sources say Sony has only just locked in both veterans, though there's no deal yet for Kirsten Dunst even though the character of Mary Jane Watson is in the film. Expect a more light-hearted approach like the first two Spideys rather than a grim "The Dark Knight" tone - "Spider-Man is its own thing... the difference between Spider-Man and Batman is that Batman is duelling with a dark side of himself, and that's not what Peter Parker's struggle is" says an inside source. There's also re-iteration of an old Cinematical story that the studio is trying to figure out if it can feasibly shoot a fourth and fifth "Spider-Man" at the same time because doing so is cost effective. No villain announced yet either but a source says "once you find out who the villain is, you'll know who's playing it." Shooting doesn't start until next Fall because of the recently postponed May 2011 release. Sony is also going forward with the Broadway musical and "Venom" spin-off .

As far as I am concerned, this is positive news. I'll give credit to the studio and the crew for maintaining the light-hearted tone. That is what people want to see with Spider-Man. Just because The Dark Knight was a giant, does not mean all the superheroes need to emulate that mood. I would not be upset if Kirsten Dunst chose not to return. I have always thought she was a weak Mary Jane Watson, and the primary flaw of the franchise. The two most important members of the line-up will be coming back. That should have most of you breathing a sigh of relief. Now we need to worry about the villains, and how many of them we will receive. I say Carnage. Bring it on.






Release Date Changes!
Killshot
The John Madden-directed crime thriller starring Thomas Jane, Diane Lane, Rosario Dawson, and Joseph Gordon-Levitt will come out November 7th.

Soul Men
The MGM/Weinstein comedy starring Samuel L. Jacskon and the late Bernie Mac has moved back one week, from November 14th to November 7th.

Fanboys
The troubled dramedy about a group of Star Wars fans fulfilling their friend's dying wish to see the premiere of "Star Wars Episode I" will finally come out November 26th in its original form as opposed to the much-maligned "cancer-free" version.

Crossing Over
The immigrant drama starring Harrison Ford, Sean Penn, Ray Liotta, and Ashley Judd has moved up from October 24th to December 3rd.

Shanghai
The Mikael Hafstrom-directed period drama starring John Cusack, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Chow Yun-Fat, Gong Li, Ken Watanabe, and Rinko Kikuchi will come out in limited release on December 25th.

The Poughkeepsie Tapes
The much-delayed MGM horror has been delayed from a Holiday 2008 release to an undetermined 2009 release.

The Box
The Richard Kelly-directed drama has apparently moved up from September 11th 2009 to March 20th 2009.

Ninja Assassin
The James McTeigue-directed ninja thriller starring Korean pop-god Rain has been delayed from January 16th 2009 to an undisclosed date.

Final Destination 4 3D
The Digital 3D-fused sequel has moved back one week, from August 14th to the 21st 2009.

The Lovely Bones
The Peter Jackson-directed afterlife drama will be coming out October 9th 2009.

Where the Wild Things Are
The much troubled Spike Jonze-directed children's fantasy film, taken off the release schedule a while back, is back on in its old slot of October 16th 2009.

Cats & Dogs 2
The unannounced sequel has been delayed from October 16th 2009 to an undisclosed 2010 date.

Guardians of Ga'Hoole 3D
The Zach Snyder-directed fantasy animation film, which apparently will release in Digital 3-D, has moved up from July 9th 2010 to July 23rd 2010, leaving the 9th open for an appropriately larger tentpole release.

The 2010 schedule still remains very open. Unlike in 2009, Warner Bros. is the most well-prepared, with Sherlock Holmes, Clash of the Titans, Hairspray 2, and Gears of War in pre-production, as well as a possible DC Comics film.

Lots of intriguing projects being moved around. The big one for me is The Lovely Bones from Peter Jackson. The fact that it will land in theaters during the fall season tells me the studio is confident on its quality. Hopefully it is good. Cats & Dogs 2 should be cheesy as can be, but don't worry, it isn't a sequel to the 1996 Janeane Garofalo romcom The Truth About Cats and Dogs. The Poughkeepsie Tapes and Final Destination 4 3D will both probably deliver zero scares, but will surely make money. I'm glad to see the Spike Jonze project Where the Wild Things Are receiving a date. With luck, it will not be nearly as bad as reported. The others on this list are fairly standard and really don't mean much to viewers yet.






The Crammed Schedule of Guillermo
You think your schedule is busy, try being director Guillermo del Toro. Variety reports that the "Pan's Labyrinth" and "Hellboy" helmer has such a full schedule that he's got films booked for the next ten years. First up of course is "The Hobbit" which he is committed to for the next five years. He has begun co-writing the project and is making trips to New Zealand every three weeks to meet with Peter Jackson and co. on the project.

He and Universal are also committed to four projects for him to direct including an adaptation of Dan Simmons' "Drood", a gothic horror story which supposes that after surviving a catastrophic train crash, author Charles Dickens plunged into the depths of London depravity before penning his final novel "The Mystery of Edwin Drood". There's also remakes of Mary Shelley's "Frankenstein," Robert Louis Stevenson's "The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde" and Kurt Vonnegut's "Slaughterhouse Five" which in the latter two cases he wants to stick closer to the original work than previous adaptations have done.

Universal are also still intent of doing del Toro's pet project, an adaptation of H.P. Lovecraft's "At the Mountains of Madness" and a potential third "Hellboy" depending upon how the international grosses of the second one do. The studio may also work with del Toro on a TV series and online segments to broaden the fanbase. Finally there have been discussions about his involvement in adaptations of David Moody's apocalyptic novel "Hater" and the gothic romance "Crimson Peak" which he co-wrote. Both projects he will only produce, not direct.

It goes without saying that The Hobbit should be Del Toro's main focus for the many years to come. However, remakes of Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, plus more adaptations of Slaughterhouse-Five? I'm left scratching my head to why a filmmaker so creative would want to jump into multiple remakes. Hellboy III should be at the back of his mind. The sequel was brilliant, and successful I might add, so logically, the conclusion of that trilogy would be appreciated. Thank you. The remakes have a bigger chance of failing. I would predict that the public wants more innovative designs and projects from Del Toro. At least this superb director will continue to pump out efforts for the next decade.

The 20 Second Sermon

I heard David Archuletta's new single "Crush" when my girlfriend switched on the radio the other day. I realize it's been out for a month or so. I'm sorry, but with the exception of Kelly Clarkson, I have yet to hear an American Idol winner/finalist I can tolerate (including Carrie Underwood). Aaron Eckhart stirred The Dark Knight pot by saying he will not return. Apparently some nerds take that as only Two-Face will come back, not Harvey Dent. Both personalities will be gone from the franchise. The screenplay said he broke his neck in the fall. Please, let us talk about another villain, and for God's sakes, move on! A sequel to the mediocre TMNT will occur in 2011, but it will not be live-action as rumored. Any type of sequel to that film is unnecessary in my opinion, but at least stick with CGI. Gossip is spreading that Tom Cruise will voice the villain in Shrek Goes Fourth. Can't say as that will improve the series much. Now Shrek will have babies, all of which will be highly irritating, and the humor is all watered down at this juncture as well. The Christmas special was good, but only because it was short.

What's Coming to DVD….Buy or Avoid?

DVD Headline of the Week



Cool Hand Luke (Deluxe Edition) - This is a surefire classic if there ever was one. It gets a better case, new extras, and even the Blu-Ray treatment for the picture and sound. Do yourself a favor and pick it up. Preorderable

How the West was Won (Ultimate Collector's Edition) - This great western from 1963 is released again in many different editions, but this mammoth set includes a 36 page book, 20 photos, a pressbook, a poster, and oh yeah, the film. It is not cheap, but worth it regardless. Buyable

Baby Mama - This debut feature from writer/director Michael McCullers is funny and engaging, but the baby plot is predictable no matter what trajectory he chooses. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler have nice chemistry and provide the laughs, but Steve Martin and Sigourney Weaver are irritating. This just doesn't resonate as anything I'll care about after in the future. Borrow

The Forbidden Kingdom - The possibilities of Jet Li and Jackie Chan coming together for a martial arts film are endless, but the actual result is a disappointment. Director Rob Minkoff steps in over his head and delivers a funny movie, but the fight scenes are lackluster and the plot is too goofy and blockbusterish. The acting is solid all around, but the main kid seems like a second rate Shia LeBeouf. Borrow

The Big Lebowski (10th Anniversary Edition) - This is now a triple dip, and I doubt a lot of new extras are worth upgrading, but the new transfer, or perhaps the bowling ball case, might entice you. I love this movie no matter what. Preorderable

Fox Horror Classics Collection, Vol. 2 - This set contains three films: Dragonwyck, Chandu the Magician, and Dr. Renault's Secret. For the cheap price, it might be worth it.

WWE: The Life and Times of Mr. Perfect - This is an easy purchase decision for any wrestling fan. Curt Hennig was awesome, and this set should be fantastic. Buyable

Child's Play (Chucky's 20th Birthday Edition) - It is annoying that this is separate from the box set, but both are relatively cheap, so if you are a fan of this franchise, pick them both up for $25. I say these movies are good to see once, but not repeatedly. Rentable

Seed - Uwe Boll films are released almost automatically off a conveyor belt these days. This I'm sure is bad. I'll never know.

The Sylvester and Tweety Mysteries – The Complete First Season - I usually don't display shows, but I can't believe this is coming to DVD. This was a fun cartoon that thankfully is not expensive if you want to own it.

The Critic's Quickee

Traitor - Traitor is a refreshingly smart dramatic thriller. It deals with a popular cinematic subject these days…Middle Eastern terrorism. In truth, while the story spends a lot of time in the Middle East, it goes hopping onto 3 continents. It follows a devout Muslim named Samir Horn, who has become involved in a dangerous terrorist cel, and Guy Pearce plays FBI Agent Roy Clayton, the man tracking him. The trailer spoils more information, but does so out of order. I'll stop there. Writer/Director Jeffrey Nachmanoff balances the drama and the suspense competently, proving he has a bright future as a filmmaker, but the material would not have supplied the entertainment if not for the caliber of talent. The three top stars are definitely people you want on your team. Don Cheadle, Guy Pearce, and Jeff Daniels are customarily adequate even when the film is not. In this case, the strength lies in how the actors play down the performances. Cheadle is the core as Samir with the utmost passion, but is supported excellently by Pearce and Daniels as government officials each with their own agenda. The way Cheadle's character is caught between two volatile sides is riveting in my mind. Traitor offers a rare glimpse inside the head of a terrorist organization. The adept screenplay has dialogue that explains in depth the motives and rationalizations of terrorists such as why they hate Americans, why innocents are killed, and so forth. The subtle meetings of the terrorists in broad daylight, and even what they look like will give you chills because it could be going on right in front of you, and you wouldn't even blink an eye. Movies dealing with terrorism, Iraq, etc. are like a house of cards. Take one key card away, and the structure comes tumbling down. Traitor succeeds where others have failed. The conclusion was the essential element, and a movie like The Kingdom relied on gunfire and explosions out of nowhere, whereas Traitor was surprising and thoughtful. This is not perfect. It does lack the thick tension of Syriana, the best of the genre, but this is a solid recommendation. With a better poster and marketing campaign, it might have debuted higher. Final Rating = 8.5/10.0

College - A few of you did not like the style of this review. I'd say after nearly 200 reviews, I can let fun ones like this slide by every now and again. For all my thoughts on this dud, click here.

Babylon A.D. - When the director and the star have verbally assaulted their own movie, you know you're in for a treat, and this new wannabe sci-fi thriller Babylon A.D. does not disappoint. My question is, how could the 20th Century Fox could be satisfied with this pile of vomit? Because in my eyes, this classifies as unreleasable. The story follows big daddy Vin Diesel as Thoorop, a mercenary hired to transport a girl from Russian to the U.S. To shake things up, the female has weird abilities. This is an adaptation of the novel Babylon Babies Maurice G. Dantec, and while I chuckled a bit at the unintentional humor of Diesel's performance, the dude is just a bad actor. I know he can pull off convincing portrayals because I saw clips from Find Me Guilty. However, here he relies on the always faithful: muscles and one-liners. Michelle Yeoh seems to be accepting every script that is shoved in her mailbox nowadays. She is Sister Rebecca, a nun with expert martial arts skills. Ugh. Melanie Thierry is Aurora, the human MacGuffin, who acts as any girl would who was recently released from a strict convent: crazy. Her performance is bland. This screenplay is an abomination with many characters getting the short end of the stick, obvious portions of the tale are rushed, and the answers viewers are given are totally unfulfilling and lame. They touch on extinct animals, and how clones of clones now roam the Earth and occupy zoos, but it is inserted for no apparent reason. I have no doubts it was better described in the book, but it looks silly here. We see our buddy Vin battle mammoth cage fighters, survive dead on missile attacks, and flip through the air in snowmobiles. The action is ridiculous, the acting is terrible, and this entire film is one big fat editing disaster. A dominant religion is a running theme as we endure this trip through dullsville for 90 minutes, but just like every other aspect it introduces, Babylon A.D. barely scratches the surface of anything. I would place the blame on Director Mathieu Kassovitz, but even he was unhappy with the result, so I guess the fault rests with the studio. Furthermore, the poster is a blatant rip-off of the Old Boy poster, and that ticked me off. And there is one really long scene where Vin Diesel smiles, and you know what, it is ten times creepier than when he tries to look tough. Final Rating = 3.5/10.0

Movie Dictionary: Word of the Week

Reverse Bluescreen - Reverse bluescreen is a special effects technique pioneered by John Dykstra for shooting the flying sequences in the film Firefox. The model is painted with a phosphorus paint and photographed with strong lighting against a black background, then rephotographed with ultraviolet light. This turns the model from a light radiator to a light emitter. When photographed on special film, this creates the necessary male and female mattes. The technique is useful for shooting dark, gleaming objects like fighter jets against a bright or white background like a blue sky or snow. It also picks up thin protrusions like tailfins and antenna that would normally disappear in traditional travelling matte.

(Retrieved from wikipedia.org)

Based on the Trailer…

Newest Trailers

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2) - Kevin Smith's new comedy still looks funny, but this trailer sends a different message of tone than the teaser did. I'm anxious to see this due to the absence of Jay and Silent Bob, although Mewes is involved. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

New York, I Love You - The first film, Paris, Je T'aime was one of the best films in recent memory that few knew about. So I am very excited about this second installment. The cast and directors look amazing. It should be a terrific experience. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Milk - Sean Penn as a gay man. At least we know he wants an Oscar. I love Gus Van Sant, so this should be fabulous no matter how many Oscars they want. The cast has some outstanding young guys in it, so I'm there. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

September Releases

Nights in Rodanthe - An adaptation of a novel from Nicholas Sparks, so this might not be too bad for a romance. It has Richard Gere and Diane Lane reuniting from Unfaithful, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Burn After Reading - The new comedy from the Coen Brothers looks funny as hell. I am not totally sure where the plot goes, but then again, that is why I am so fascinated by it. The cast looks great, and I am definitely seeing this one. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Choke - A new adaptation from author Chuck Palahniuk, and that gets me excited. I love his books, though I haven't read this particular one. I will before the movie comes out though. This has Sam Rockwell in the lead, so it should be funny. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Ghost Town - If The Sixth Sense were a comedy, it might look like this. I love Ricky Gervais, but I expected something a bit fresher out of him. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Tyler Perry's the Family That Preys - Kathy Bates and Cole Hauser in a Tyler Perry film. That certainly surprised me. This looks to be fairly ambitious for Perry, and might not be as bad as his previous efforts. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Righteous Kill - The new crime thriller with Pacino and De Niro! This looks average at the moment, but it should be fantastic with the two of them as a duo on screen for most of the film. The supporting cast looks excellent as well. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Lakeview Terrace - Patrick Wilson and Samuel L. Jackson star in this thriller about an insane neighbor who is also a cop. This seems sort of like Cape Fearto me, but not nearly as good. Ehhh. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Eagle Eye - Mr. LaBeouf surprises me with every passing role. I'll start giving him more credit. This thriller teaser has me intrigued for sure. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Igor - The concept has potential, but I can't see this being anything more than a couple laughs. John Cusack does not sink into the character well. I'll see this for Steve Buscemi‘s contribution, but I'm not all that impressed. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Duchess - This is a goofy trailer. You wonder who could be introduced, and then the title "The Duchess" comes up, and you wonder why all the hassle of building it up. Knightley is to period pieces as Seagal is to B-movie action. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Miracle at St. Anna - I get annoyed by some of Spike Lee's comments, but he is a fabulous filmmaker, and this new war epic looks marvelous with Derek Luke and Joseph Gordon Levitt. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Blindness - This is a movie that proves how I have changed. It stars Julianne Moore and Mark Ruffalo. It involves an infection. That sounds rather bland right? Well, it's directed by Fernando Meirelles, a brilliant filmmaker, so I'm in, even though it doesn't sound outstanding. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

October Releases

Quarantine - For weeks I have been told this is a remake of a decent Spanish flick called .REC. I get the picture. I will rent it at some point. I still think this remake will suck big time. That is all. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

Zack and Miri Make a Porno - Kevin Smith's new comedy looks hilarious. I'm anxious to see this because I know he is a great filmmaker that can flourish outside of Jay and Silent Bob. Note: This may not be online anymore. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Body of Lies - The new Ridley Scott pic featuring Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. It looks phenomenal, but that should be expected with such brilliant talent. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Regilulous - Well, Bill Maher is always one to stir up controversy, and I'm sure this documentary will do the trick. I think it looks funny personally, so I'll give it a shot. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

City of Ember - Here is a film that could end up being pretty neat. The cast alone is worth the price of admission. You have Bill Murray, Saoirse Ronan, and Tim Robbins, among others. Gil Kenan is a decent director and the plot is creative, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

High School Musical 3: Senior Year - Oh boy the teaser has arrived. Why do I have the feeling that this will be exactly like the first two, both in plot and level of suckage. Ms. Tisdale is the only tolerable character. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Pride and Glory - A nifty looking cop thriller with Ed Norton and Colin Farrell. Should be ok. And if we're lucky, we will get some commendable work from Jon Voight. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Max Payne - This trailer kicks major a** with the song in the background and Marky Mark as the main character, but then again, so did the Hitman teaser, and it ended up blowing. Remember, this is based on a video game. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

W. - You're lying if you say you're not curious. Josh Brolin looks the part with white hair, but as the younger Dubya, he looks like himself. I will definitely see this because it is Oliver Stone, but I have serious doubts since its being rushed for the election. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

RocknRolla - The new thriller from Guy Ritchie. It can't be as bad as Revolver right? He needs a comeback badly, and I hope this is it. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Saw V - This is just a teaser, but it gets the same point across. I am a fan of the series, so I'll certainly be seeing this one. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

November Releases

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - This is some sort of weird DVD trailer, but we see the basic layout of the plot, and it is not very funny or interesting. I could care less about this one. Trailer Rating = 4.5/10.0

Repo! The Genetic Opera - They keep the music clips to a minimum in the trailer, which was wise. While this certainly intrigues me, the praising quotes from random websites worries me. It could be really bad, but check out the cast. That alone is worth the price of admission. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Quantum of Solace - I saw this weeks ago, but forgot to rate it here. The new Bond movie looks to be just as awesome as Casino Royale. I can't wait. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Transporter 3 - I know George's buddy is looking forward to anything Statham, but this franchise has never been all that outstanding to me. Statham is hit or miss. I'll see this I guess, but only out of curiosity. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Australia - The new epic from filmmaker Baz Luhrman seems to have left out his usual exaggerated flair. Kidman and Jackman will make a fine team. I think this looks rather good, and the trailer has a splendid piece of music accompanying it. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Bolt - It takes exactly two seconds to decipher the Disney CGI to the Pixar Disney CGI. This has John Travolta as the lead voice. The hamster seems funny, but the rest doesn't impress me. Trailer Rating = 5.5/10.0

December, TBD, and Beyond Releases

Frost/Nixon - Wow. I was glued to my seat. This is an amazing trailer that shows right away how brilliant the performances are. Ron Howard is a superb director, and I really hope this is a hit for him. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Yes Man - A new Jim Carrey comedy where he must say yes to everything. Sounds a bit like Liar Liar, but this is the Carrey humor I have missed for years. It looks pretty funny to me. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

The Escapist - A British prison break film starring Brian Cox. This is my favorite genre, so I can't wait for this, but in order for this to make a splash, it will have to be something special. The critic quotes being from random guys worries me. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Terminator Salvation - I love Christian Bale, and the Terminator franchise, but I have serious doubts about this. I believe it will be terrible, but I must admit, this teaser was well constructed. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Watchmen - This was the best trailer attached to my Dark Knight screening. Hopefully Zack Snyder can continue to improve his skills after 300. I must read this graphic novel soon. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Star Trek XI - The teaser was superbly placed before Cloverfield, and this causes me to be amped for the next installment despite my doubts about the cast. I hope it's as good as we deserve. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Defiance - This new Edward Zwick film looks outstanding with Daniel Craig leading the cast in World War II story. This gave me chills. I can't wait. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Che - Granted, this is in Spanish, which I do not speak fluently, but this trailer looks amazing nevertheless. Soderbergh's epic should be fantastic. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Wolverine - Not the finest quality of trailers, but you can still seen and understand it. Gavin Hood is directing, so that is intriguing. The preview is ok, and I am still unsure. Can the character carry a whole film on his own? Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

The Perfect Game - Though I'm not a baseball fan, I always enjoy watching the Little League World Series. The problem with this film, despite a bad title, is that the preview reveals way too much, so hopefully it has more going for it besides the story, which I'm sure is inspirational. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Punisher: War Zone - This is only a teaser, but I get the impression I have seen all I need to. This sequel (or whatever is in relation to the previous film) looks like an comic action nightmare with cliches up the wazoo. I'm not a fan of the Punishers movies thus far, and this does not look to change that. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - This film looks amazing. David Fincher is the man, I will be waiting to purchase my ticket. A plot about someone who ages backwards has all sorts of possibilities. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

The Spirit - This is the new adaptation from Frank Miller. I'm anxious to see this, but from this teaser, it looks a bit too similar to Sin City. Oh well. I loved that film, so maybe this will be just as entertaining. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

The Day the Earth Stood Still - This teaser illustrates how a classic sci-fi film will probably not update well for this era. I am curious because Keanu Reeves is a suitable choices, but I noticed too much CGI just from this, so that's not a good sign. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Tale of Despereaux - This new Universal CGI film has some cute lines and some exquisite animation, but the plot strikes me as dull. You never know, at least it isn't filled with poop jokes. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Outlander - Hmm, I'm not sure about this, but the cast alone is enough for me to buy a ticket. James Caviezel is so talented, but his script choices continue to boggle me (not in a bad way mind you). The idea is shaky, but the effects and acting look good, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Fast & Furious - Is that the best title they could come up with? Well, I hate this franchise, and everything it stands for, but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a step up from the previous installment. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Knowing - This has Number 23 sort of approach, which is fine, but why is Nicolas Cage doing all these mediocre thrillers? He's a great actor, and should be showing that more. Anyway, this looks ok. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - This was a great book, the darkest of the set, and this trailer rocks. I'm anxious to see this. The franchise has not decreased in quality, and here's hoping this continues that trend. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Other Stuff to Read

The Best Movies of the Alphabet
411 August Roundtable - This month Owain J. Brimfield takes the reigns and compiled the thoughts of the movie zone staff on the summer releases for August!
The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks - Thanks again to John Meehan for providing my banner here, and for the Alphabet feature.

Also, keep an eye out for more comic book character timelines in the future. Here are the first two:

The Ultimate Batman Timeline
The Ultimate Daredevil Timeline



CHECK OUT ALL THE GREAT WRITERS 411 HAS TO OFFER!
411 My Space!
The 411 Wrestling Zone
The 411 Music Zone
The 411 Politics Zone
The 411 Games Zone
The 411 Sports Zone

The 411 Movie PODCAST - This week we discuss new releases and movie pet peeves!

Make sure to check out all of this week's reviews of DVD's, Movies, Music, and more!
And of course read every movie review with the name Chad Webb attached to it.
Thanks for reading the whole way through, and make sure to tune in next week.