A Little Push: Thoughts on the Hollywood Machine 09.20.08

Posted by Rick Tym on 09.20.2008

Brett Ratner taking on Conan (the Barbarian, not the late night host), the possibility of a live-action Ghostbusters sequel, and the future of the Spider-Man franchise...

Brett Ratner vs. the Barbarian

No, the above doesn't refer to a pay-per-view match—if you're looking for that type of news, head on over to the wrestling zone. However, I'm sure a lot of you reading this wouldn't mind seeing Ratner pile driven into the mat (or the ground itself) given the man's filmography.

Rumors and reports have it that Ratner, the man behind the lens for such cinematic beauties as Rush Hour, Red Dragon, and X-Men: The Last Stand is being sought by Nu Image films to direct the latest attempt at bringing Conan the Barbarian back to the big screen. Of course, we all know that this latest version will be Arnold-less, since the Governator is busy ruling California and doesn't have time for the movie business anymore. Note that I said movie business, not entertainment—he still provides plenty of that.




Wait a minute. This isn't the governor's throne. Hmmm…

Actually I've just joking about Arnie. I think he's great, and I'm looking forward to seeing his face digitally inserted onto another actor's in McG's Terminator: Salvation (we'll have to reserve another time, and probably a separate column, for that one). But like a lot of people out there I have a fond place in my heart for the Conan films. I remember being awestruck by the giant snake sequences in the original film, and watching the sequel every time it aired on PRISM here in northeastern PA.

(Quick note: For the uninitiated, PRISM was Philly's inferior version of HBO. The biggest selling point for this local pay-cable station was the airing of Philly sports events featuring the Phillies, Flyers and 76ers. Same principle as the YES network or NESN, but while paying basic cable fees for these channels is relatively new, we Philadelphians have been paying since back in the day to see every game.)

Many, many people are up in arms that this beloved property is being handed over to Ratner, who's films, while serviceable, leave a lot to be desired. He made the same Rush Hour movie three times in a row and nobody seemed to notice. He made a Hannibal Lecter film that already existed (a fancy way of saying "remake", but I'm sure you saw right through that one) and managed to make both Edward Norton and Anthony Hopkins seem boring. The Last Stand wasn't as completely terrible as everyone made it out to be, but even I can admit that I really didn't feel compelled to finish watching the film after a certain point. I just did since the ticket was already paid for.

I tend to agree with these people. Long story short, Ratner is a bad choice, and I have no idea who these people are at Nu Image or why they're thinking this is a solid business plan. Maybe they just want to give him some practice for that God of War adaptation I've also been hearing about. Or think that the God of War adaptation will give him great insight into leading this new installment. I would tell you for sure but I can no longer tell which will come first, the God or the Barbarian. I just know that there are plenty incarnations of Conan stories out there. Pick a good one and let someone else give it a whirl. Brett Ratner will just take all of these incarnations and try to stuff them into a one hundred minute long move, a la X3.


Who ya gonna call? That all depends...


At first, there was a script written by Dan Akroyd entitled Ghostbusters in Hell, which would put the specter-battling funnymen in an alternate dimension version of a Big Apple borough aptly named "ManHELLton." (Get it?)

The problem fans had with this story, other that the story itself, was that it seemed near impossible to get a live-action film off the ground. Although Harold Ramis, co-writer of the first two films as well as playing Dr. Egon Spengler, had been trying for years to get the band back together, but Bill Murray didn't want to pick up his instrument.




How did this extra finger get here? Can it really be true???

Since Bill Murray didn't want to come back and play the part of Dr. Peter Venkman on screen, the best everyone could hope for was a full-CGI film, which Murray did agree to provide his voice for. I (along with the masses) was not thrilled with this option, and breathed a little more easily with each passing day that brought no news of this possible atrocity. I mean, I know that the cartoons were quality and a lot of fun, but I never had and never will have any urge to see a completely CGI version of a Ghostbusters sequel.

Then this idea morphed into a video game adaptation, one that is reportedly complete and actually has Murray's voice in it. Since Rick Moranis has supposedly retired I have no idea if his voice is in it or not. Regardless, word around the web was mostly positive, since it seemed that adapting the premise into video game form had a good shot at being not only a worthy successor to the films but an enjoyable one as well.

But now we can yell "Stop the presses!" Just last week, Harold Ramis emailed an entertainment reporter at the Chicago Tribune and said that Columbia Pictures was working with some of his writing partners on the long-awaited real sequel. Also contributing were writers Gene Stupnitsky and Lee Eisenberg of NBC's The Office fame. Judd Apatow was name-dropped, along with the idea that a sort of new guard would be brought in to replace the aging Ghostbusters, who would take on a mentoring role to the new blood. Another tidbit that was "dropped" was the fact that Bill Murray was willing to be involved, "on some level."

To which I say, pay the man. Give him whatever he wants, and get him on screen—in the flesh, not just as a voice.

I know that some of you are not enthused by the fact that it seems the Ghostbusters will be older and guiding some newbies as they take up the reigns of paranormal pest control. Even more of you are probably groaning that since Apatow's been attached to the production it's inevitable that Seth Rogen and McLovin' will show up as the inheritors of the keys to the containment grid. It didn't work for Harrison and Shia and Lucas and Spielberg and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, right? So why would it work here?

I say give it some time and a little faith. First off, Akroyd and Ramis have been chomping at the bit to get these characters back on screen for a long time. So strong is their faith that they were willing to make deals with the devils of GGI and video gaming to make their vision a reality. As far as bringing in a new regime of younger Ghostbusters, I happen to like Rogen and McLovin'. I don't think Superbad was the greatest let's-get-laid high school comedy since Porky's, but I laughed a lot. Judd Apatow has a great track record when it comes to producing comedies, as do both Stupnitsky and Eisenberg when it comes to writing them. This isn't Indy's kid swinging on jungle vines with some monkeys, kids. If everyone puts in the effort that they're clearly capable of, as long as Murray comes back and these writers give him some more classic lines such as "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick" then we'll be fine. I am just happy that this may actually happen, and that they can use CGI to improve the supernatural effects in the film, not make the film one huge supernatural CGI effect.


What's Next for Spider-Man?

Nobody knows yet, really.

Listen, I'm an unapologetic fan boy. I love comics, comic book movies, and every effort made to prove to the world that there are more to these stories I love than goofy costumes and hackneyed plots. This past summer, Iron Man and The Dark Knight showed audiences with great success that these tales and characters could be light-hearted or brooding, colorful or dark, fun AND serious. The comic book community always knew that the objects of their affections were indeed art forms, and that they were powerful enough to transition to other forms of media. Now the entire world knows. Some card-carrying geeks may bemoan this fact, as they think something secret has been unrightfully taken from them, but most—myself included—am extremely satisfied to see it finally happen.

There were good and even great comic book movies before this summer though, and the first two Spider-Man movies rank among my favorites in this genre as well. They captured, to a certain extent, the wonder and excitement of the comics which depicted a geek's ultimate dream of waking up one day with superhero abilities. Nothing can ever match the depiction of Stan Lee's Peter Parker and Spider-Man in the printed form, but Sam Raimi's efforts mixed with technology powerful enough to at least enable a try came damned close.

Then came number three.




This is all your fault, you know.

I didn't hate the mess that was Spider-Man 3 as much as the rest of the movie-going public. I never thought Venom was that hot of a villain anyway, but I still think he and Raimi got the shaft when Sony insisted that he be included in the third installment. I never hated but also never truly bought into Peter acting all emo due to the black suit. At times the character depiction of the web slinger being taken over by a sinister force was too much, and at other times it simply wasn't enough. I believe in balance, and Spider-Man 3 just didn't have it. But it had enough for me to be satisfied in terms of tying the three movies together in a logical conclusion.

Apparently enough goodwill was left over from the first two films as Sony has managed to lock in both Tobey Maguire and Sam Raimi for two more flicks, which are rumored to shoot back-to-back, with Spider-Man 4 set for release in 2011.

Is this good news? Yes. Is this great news? Well, it all depends on the circumstances involved. Conventional wisdom says that Sony threw a truckload of money at both of these guys to stay committed to the franchise. Now maybe that's true. But the true believer in me says that it's more than that. I believe that Sam Raimi's vision was compromised severely by the forced inclusion of Venom in the third act. He stated publicly that he never liked the villain, and preferred to stick to the Golden Age group of Spidey antagonists. I think Sony was smart to pay him to come back, and think they will give him back the creative leeway that made the first two films such successes. Now of course Sony broke records with Spider-Man 3 and that's obviously where they got all that cash to throw Raimi and Maguire's way. But the studio isn't completely dumb either. They heard the critics. They know what Warner Bros. has with Nolan and how much Marvel would love a chance to get its rights back to the property after the success of Iron Man and all of the buzz created by the film's post-credits cameo. Sony needs Raimi, and Raimi wants and likes Maguire as Peter Parker.

As far as Kirsten Dunst as MJ goes, Raimi and Sony can take her or leave her. The fans never liked her anyway, and by the end of the third film even I was kinda hoping that she would just miss those black Venom webs and fall all the way down. Too bad Bryce Dallas Howard wasn't a redhead. But wasn't she at one point?




Hey Pete, why don't we just pretend I'm MJ and move on?

Word around the campfire has it that Zodiac screenwriter James Vanderbilt has turned in a copy of the Spider-Man 4 script which actually encompasses a fifth film. All you had to do was mention Vanderbilt and Zodiac and my ears perked right up. I have no idea (yet) what the script covers in terms of story. I would love to see a film length arc dealing with Kraven the Hunter's Last Hunt storyline but would welcome the removal of the vulture, even though I'm sure Raimi could make the character fly. (See what I did there?) In fact, the more I think about it, the more I can see the Vulture on the big screen simply because Raimi loves the Golden Age characters enough to make them work.

A safer bet, though, is to put your money on Dr. Connors and the Lizard as the next foe for our favorite friendly neighborhood arachnid. Peter Parker's one-armed professor has been sufficiently introduced, and time's almost up on the wait to see him transform into a scaly beast. The wrong bet in this situation would be on the tiny sample of the Venom suit Dr. Connors has in his Petri dish mixing with someone's blood and becoming Carnage. Raimi (and hopefully Sony) has been there, done that, and been burned by it. Better to see Electro or the Rhino pop up then a red version of the villain that almost torpedoed the franchise.


A Sort of Intro on the Outtro

As some or all of you may have noticed, this is my inaugural column here at 411mania.com. What you've just read above is a good indication of what to expect from this column each week—I'll talk about some of the latest news swirling around Hollywood and give you my take (a little push) on them. Some weeks will cover more or less topics than others based on what's going on in the industry—for instance, if there is s huge rumor or breaking story in the film industry, and it warrants enough space for its own column, said space will be awarded for discussion. Although this first column dealt strictly with movies, anything in television may also be fair game. (For instance, I'm dying to debate in my head and then transcribe for you why I'm so confused that Lost is such a fantastic show but Fringe just isn't cutting it. Damn that Abrams.) Formats and layouts may come and go and change as I find my feet over the next few weeks and months.

Any comments or questions, good or bad, and rumors or proposed topics for discussion can be entered in the comments section below. Any and all feedback is not only appreciated but encouraged. I hope to stick around these parts for a good long while. I hope you all do too.

Thanks for reading.