The Big Screen Bulletin 09.29.08: The Chunky Dossier Issue

Posted by Chad Webb on 09.29.2008

A nightmare with "Unstable Fables", the box office results, the passing of Paul Newman, Brett Ratner's Batman, George Clooney possible Disney role, new DVD releases, new quickees, and much more!

Straight to Video Nightmares

Tortoise vs. Hare







Featuring the Voices of: Jay Leno, Danny Glover, and Vivica A. Fox
Directed By: Howard E. Baker and Arish Fyzee
Written By: Tom Martin
DVD Release Date: September 9, 2008
Running Time: 75 minutes
Rated G

In an effort to change up the genre of my straight to video nightmares, and prove I am not such a cold hearted male with regard to children's films, I elected to rent Tortoise vs. Hare, the second installment of the "Unstable Fable" series, which plans to continue at least until 2009 with Goldilocks & 3 Bears Show. The first was 3 Pigs & a Baby. The voice cast and the cover caught my attention, not to mention the tagline "The rematch of the century." So sue me, I thought it was creative.

This reimagining starts 15 years after the fabled race where the tortoise defeated the hare. The town motto is "slow and steady", which causes Murray Hare to break out in convulsions every time it is spoken. He has a son, Butch, who is a science nerd. He does not like to run, and his father gets bored whenever his son talks about school projects. Hare's wife is Annette, a saleswoman who is on the phone 24/7. One never can tell who she is speaking to, whether it be her headset, or a real person. This family needs counseling asap. Coincidentally, Walter Tortoise and Murray Hare are neighbors. However, Tortoise has a huge mansion, whereas Hare has a regular suburban dwelling. Tortoise has a daughter, Crystal, who enjoys dancing. Her father would prefer she become a lawyer. The story wastes no time in getting to the point. A nature adventure race is approaching, and Hare has challenged Tortoise once more, only the race involves pairs. That means Butch and Crystal are along for the journey.

The film is filled with smart, yet cute trimmings that will make adults chuckle. Make no mistake, this is meant for children, but there are lines for everyone. The FCS Network (Fable Something Sports) is present at the event with color commentators, Rex and Bob Stork. I might have mentioned that the contestants are not limited to the Tortoise and Hare teams. Sets of Moles and Pigs will also be competing. The event goes down on Mt. Impossible, and consists of a variety of stages such as simple running, biking, boating, and so forth. At least someone had the sense to use different types of races. The actual race is very funny. Tortoise goes as slow as possible, and even puts on the brakes of the bicycle as it goes downhill. Hare meanwhile, goes as fast as he can, but must be reminded of no napping. He even made T-shirts displaying a "No Nap" symbol.

Jay Leno leads the voice cast as Murray Hare. No doubt he was simply picking up a paycheck, but he fits the character. Murray Hare is a car salesman, a facet Leno must have added himself. Danny Glover is Walter Tortoise, who is a bit rougher around the edges in terms of meshing with the image, but he gets the job done. Vivica A. Fox is Walter's wife, a tortoise with jewels on her shell to signify her husband's wealth. Drake Bell improves slightly from the agonizing College as the voice of Butch Hare, and Keke Palmer is perfectly adequate as Crystal Tortoise. This is not top-notch voice acting, but at least, it was not just crammed with stars as in Doogal or just about any other CGI concoction.

The themes here deal a lot with friendship, the bond between parents and children, and being a team player. All are morals we have seen and learned before, but they hold here mixed with the fun premise. Co-Director Howard Baker previously worked on Aeon Flux and Ren & Stimpy, so his experience in crafting affecting visuals and entertaining stories is a bonus. In addition, screenwriter Tom Martin helped write sketches and episodes for Saturday Night Live and The Simpsons. So, at least the Jim Henson Company did not enlist people only out to make a quick buck. The animation is attractive enough, but it does display some unpolished moments.

What I enjoyed about Tortoise vs. Hare was that the writing and execution of the story did not beg for laughs, and furthermore, was not just eye candy for kids. It actually tries to offer lessons for the viewers, and while this was far from flawless, and packed a bunch of schmaltzy sequences, it was pleasing for what it was. The best place was Direct-to-DVD. It would have performed horribly in theaters, but with patience, I think a future Unstable Fables adventure could land in theaters. So sorry for those expecting a royal bashing this week, but I had fun with this DVD, and would recommend it easily over any trivial Disney DTV sequel.

Final Rating = 7.0/10.0

The News Bulletin

The Eagle Has Landed on Top
DreamWorks/Paramount's thriller "Eagle Eye" scored the best opening since summer in grossing an estimated $29.2 million at the domestic box office from 3,510 runs. The casualty of the weekend was Spike Lee's World War II film "Miracle St. Anna," which opened to a disappointing $3.5 million from 1,185 runs to come in only No. 9. Otherwise, the box office was generally robust, even with Friday night's presidential debate and the economic crisis. "Eagle Eye" easily topped the box office chart, while Warner Bros. and Village Roadshow Pictures' Diane Lane-Richard Gere romantic drama "Nights in Rodanthe" place No. 2 in its bow, grossing an estimated $13.6 million from 2,704 runs, according to Rentrak.

Samuel Goldwyn's Christian-theme pic "Fireproof" was the surprise of the weekend in grossing an estimated $6.5 million from only 839 theaters and coming in No. 4. "Eagle Eye," toplining Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monaghan, solidifies LaBeouf's box office appeal. The last film to score a bigger opening was Universal's "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor," which debuted to roughly $40 million over the Aug. 1-3 weekend. "Fireproof," toplining Kirk Cameron ("Growing Pains"), saw the strongest opening for a faith-based film in recent memory. Goldwyn aggressively marketing the film to church groups, including word-of-mouth screening. Cameron also has his own ministry, "The Way of the Master," which he co-founded in 2002.

On the specialty side, Paramount Vantage's "The Duchess" and Warner Bros.' "Appaloosa" both remained players in their second frames. "Duchess" grossed an estimated $570,000 from 55 locations for a per screen average of $10,364 and cume of $836,932. "Appaloosa" grossed an estimated $145,00 from 14 locations for a per location of $10,357 and cume of $478,702. Fox Searchlight saw disappointing results for Anjelica Houston-Sam Rockwell pic "Choke," which opened to an estimated $1.3 million from 435 runs for a per screen average of $3,069.

At least I got it right this week. Perhaps Spike Lee will not complain about how many Oscar noms he'll receive before his movie even comes out. This is what happens when you make an enemy with Dirty Harry. Lakeview Terrace benefitted from Lee's flop as it did fine in its 2nd week. Fireproof with Mike Seaver comes out nowhere for a Top 5 entry in September. Usually faith based pics thrive early in the year. This is just insane. Congrats to Richard Gere and Diane Lane, who still have what it takes to draw ticketbuyers, and the Coens superb Burn After Reading is still putting up a fight. It should do even better on DVD. Thankfully, My Best Friend's Girl is falling fast, and hopefully Igor is not far behind. Next week look for Eagle Eye to be #1 again with a strong fight from Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist.







Obituaries: Paul Newman
Legendary actor Paul Newman died Friday at his home near Westport, Connecticut after a lengthy battle with cancer. The 83-year-old has proven a fixture in American cinema over the last six decades with memorable turns in Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956), The Hustler (1962), Cool Hand Luke (1967), Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969), The Sting (1973), The Towering Inferno (1974), Slap Shot (1977), The Verdict (1982), The Color of Money (1986), The Hudsucker Proxy (1994) and Road to Perdition (2002). Other notable works included The Long Hot Summer (1958), The Left Handed Gun (1958), Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958), Sweet Bird of Youth (1962), Torn Curtain (1966), The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean (1972), The Drowning Pool (1975), Absence of Malice (1981), Nobody's Fool (1994), Message in a Bottle (1999) and Where the Money Is (2000).

Newman also directed theatrical and television movies including The Glass Menagerie (1987), Harry & Son (1984) and The Effect of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds (1972). Blessed with good looks, the well-mannered, frank and often cheeky actor was an audience favorite and scored nine Oscar acting nominations, ultimately winning once for his role in "The Color of Money" along with two honorary Oscars for his body of work and his humanitarian efforts. The actor retired last year, his last acting gigs being 2005's "Empire Falls" and voice work in 2006's "Cars".

Newman was a racing enthusiast. He served in the Navy during World War II and afterwards attended Kenyon College and studied at Yale. He was also the founder of the Hole in the Wall Gang, a camp for children with cancer, and Newman's Own, a charitable company that marketed salad dressing, salsa and other products under Newman's name. Newman is survived by his wife, actress Joanne Woodward and their daughters Elinor, Melissa and Clea. Newman had three children from a previous marriage to Jacqueline Witte; Susan, Stephanie and Scott. Scott died of a drug overdose in 1978 and Newman established a foundation in his name to produce anti-drug films for kids. He is also survived by two grandsons and an older brother, Arthur.

We have lost a legend, but at least he lived a long fruitful life. I have always been a huge fan of Newman's work. It seems like I have seen dozens of his films already, but there are still so many I have not experienced. He was a versatile, likable, and compelling thespian that could do just about anything, and adapted himself to the times wonderfully. The things he did outside of acting tells us what kind of person he was at heart. He was a generous and loving man, who will certainly be missed. Rest in peace Fast Eddie.






Judges Denies Cash to the Tolkiens
A judge has barred the estate of "Lord of the Rings" author J.R.R. Tolkien from seeking punitive damages against the studio that brought the trilogy to the big screen according to The One Ring. Tolkien's heirs claim New Line Cinema has failed to pay any royalties from the estimated $6 billion they say the movie has grossed worldwide. The lawsuit is seeking more than $150 million in compensatory damages based on breach of contract, fraud and other claims.

The outlook is not good for the Tolkien fam. What puts a thorn in my side is that this is not the first problem we have heard about regarding Lord of the Rings and cash. You'll remember it took a lot of negotiating and harsh remarks forgiven before Peter Jackson decided to come on board The Hobbit. I would love to have more details about this, but this is all the article explained. Now, I am not an expert in studio chain of commands and paperwork, but I wonder how this situation has changed now that New Line has been shrunk significantly. Maybe not all, I dunno. What happened when the studio got around to handing out paychecks? I should hope the estate gets something if they have been wronged, but the judge does not seem sympathetic.






Murray Dishes on Venkman's Return
In an interview at a "City of Ember" at this year's FantasticFest, Bill Murray talked about the recently announced "Ghostbusters 3" and whether he would be involved: "Well, I think the wounds from Ghostbusters 2 have healed. Supposedly they have hired two guys from The Office to write a script. So, that could work. I think that is a good idea. Maybe they will give us a fresh look at it. I've always liked our characters. Our characters are funny. We had a lot of fun making the movies. The first one was really a lot of fun to make. But I worry.

I think the first forty minutes of Ghostbusters is about as funny as a movie gets. It didn't have a lot of special effects in it. There were just a couple. It was just about those funny characters in that world. And I liked that movie. I think the first one had sixty plate shots, or something like that. The second one had hundreds. The special (effects) guys got their hands on the script early, and it was just gone. It went away. The script just went away. And it was hard to wrangle, because it was tied all around the effects. It wasn't about the story coming first, or the characters moving through it.

They are hard movies to write, and Dan really caught it with that first one. He really caught it. The characters were fun to do. I did the video game this summer, and it was fun to do it again. I found myself walking down Fifth Avenue, singing that song. And people were like, 'God, that guy is really full of himself.' So, there you go."

If Bill Murray is willing to give it another chance, I say this project should move forward. As I said, older franchises have a proven track record of success when brought back for newer audiences, and I can assure you that the comedic minds of Ghostbusters would still make people laugh. The new writers on board are a step in the right direction, and if Seth Rogen and the Apatow guys become included, I say that is an added bonus. They are capable of playing other characters, and I think they could put more butts in seats. He has good reason to worry though, especially in this CGI obsessed age. Will it be a masterpiece? No, but it could be fun.






Brett Ratner's Batman
There can never be too much Batman -– which is why Brett Ratner proposes, once Christopher Nolan's take on the Caped Crusader runs his course, that there be a few spin-off films. "As a kid, Batman was my thing," Ratner said. "I'm a little jealous that I didn't get to direct it, although Nolan did a great job. But there are so many characters in the Batman series, so many characters that I love, that the opportunities for spin-offs are endless." Ratner thinks that the first one should be a film just about the Joker, exploring his (possible) origin as the Red Hood. "That would be really cool," he said. But don't we then run into the not-so-little problem of who could possibly fill Heath Ledger's shoes?

"Heath was great," Ratner said. "But the Joker is a great villain. That's why Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger had so much to work with. And I think there will be another actor who can interpret that. It would be great to see [Robert] Downey [Jr.] as the Joker, for instance." Ratner doesn't want to stop there. If the opportunities for spin-offs in the Batman universe are endless, what about the rest of comic-book-dom? For the "X-Men," for instance, Ratner is excited about the upcoming Wolverine spin-off, but he thinks one is warranted for Halle Berry's character, Storm, as well. "That would be great," he said. "That would be really cool." Spin-offs and team-ups like "The Justice League" are the way to sustain the franchises, he said, so that minor characters can be more developed. "You're going to be seeing superhero movies for 50 years," he predicted. "And it'll be exciting to see a lot of the under-the-radar franchises like ‘Iron Man' that could be incredible on the big screen."

My question is, what reporter has so little to do that he asks Ratner about what his take on comic book franchises would be. If Ratner had his way on every series, comic book adaptations would be dying off as we speak. A Joker spinoff? I would not go as far as to say the Joker is good in small doses, but he and Batman go hand in hand. A spinoff is completely and totally unnecessary. Not every intriguing character needs their own movie, Brett. Is it too much to ask that those characters big screen lifespan be limited to the riveting films they were introduced in? A Storm spinoff? Halle Berry is a terrible lead actress. She got lucky with Monster's Ball. Watching her as Storm for 90 minutes would be excruciating. I think Ratner and I have a disagreement on to sustain franchises properly, and how to milk them until no one cares anymore.






Clooney the Ranger
Hot on the heels of Wednesday's announcement that Johnny Depp is Tonto, AintItCool.com believes it knows who'll play the Lone Ranger in Jerry Bruckheimer's big budget update of the classic TV show. They claim that none other than George Clooney is "interested" in the role, and has been talking to Disney about playing the masked cowboy. At present this hasn't been confirmed by Disney or in the trade press, but what would you make of the Cloonster and Depp teaming up?

Depp as Tonto is golden. We all know Depp is top notch in a Disney movie, but Clooney is another story. He fits as the Lone Ranger, but only if his performance echoes his approach in his Coen contributions. If he plays it too seriously, it will bomb for sure. I think the two of them would have sufficient chemistry. Depp can work with just about anyone.

The 20 Second Sermon

Will Smith is set for an I Am Legend prequel, and a Hancock sequel. Both can do nothing but tarnish the original films, but of the two, the prequel sounds the best. Ricky Gervais has been tipped to host the 2009 Oscars after his hilarious Emmy bit. He would be a great choice to host, no matter how many Americans understand his comedy. Blockbuster plans to boost prices to pay for store refurbishments. So customers have to suffer because the store sucks now. Watch for a boost in new Netflix accounts soon. Sadly, the underrated Speed Racer is bombing on DVD as well, since Made of Honor is crushing it in terms of sales. Oscar voters now have the option of Blu-Ray screeners thanks to Christopher Nolan. Oh yeah, he wants that Best Picture Oscar bad. Apparently, Shane Black will succeed Richard Donnor as director of Lethal Weapon 5. They are waiting for Gibson's approval. This will reach a new level of suckage, but I generally like Black's films.

What's Coming to DVD….Buy or Avoid?

DVD Headline of the Week



Iron Man (Ultimate 2-Disc Edition) - Look for my review of this DVD tomorrow!

Forgetting Sarah Marshall - This was a hilarious movie from the Apatow clan. Jason Segel was terrific, and so was the rest of the cast. The standard DVD comes with a digital copy, which more DVDs have these days. It increases the price just slightly enough that I feel compelled to buy the Blu-Ray for a few bucks more. Buyable

Bigger, Stronger, Faster* - I was unable to see this documentary in the theater as it would have required a trip the city, but I will be renting it.

Taxi to the Dark Side - It must be documentary week. This was the recent Oscar winner, and I haven't seen this either, but the nominated docs commonly slip by my radar.

Dream Theater: Chaos in Motion - I usually don't display music releases on DVD, but Dream Theater is one of the most underrated bands going. This concert should be brilliant.

Lewis Black's Root of all Evil - I downloaded this entire season on iTunes, and then my computer died, so I lost all the episodes. At least I watched most of them before they disappeared. This is hysterical. A definite purchase. Buyable

Pulse 2: Afterlife - Never saw the first one. Doubt I'll see the DTV sequel unless I have nothing else to rent for the column.

Chapter 27 - A film about Mark David Chapman with a brilliant performance by Jared Leto. This had its problems, but I thought the psychological glimpse into this killers mind was gripping enough. Also, this has been available at my Blockbuster for months, yet it is listed as coming out tomorrow.

My Name is Earl – Season 3 - My fiancée has the first two seasons on DVD. I need to watch these from start to finish. It really is a solid show.

The Critic's Quickee

Ghost Town - We have talked before on the podcast about comic actors who play similar characters a lot. With someone like Will Ferrell, who just puts the same attitude in a different movie, this can grow aggravating. However, if you can do that and keep it fresh enough, I'll still pay for a ticket. Ricky Gervais has portrayed an awkward, unsociable, prick before in the superb series "Extras", but here he alters that persona a bit in Ghost Town. He is a dentist named Betrum Pincas, a man who is not a people person. This was the perfect vehicle for Gervais' style of comedy that more Americans need to experience. It was also one of the biggest surprises of the year. I saw the trailer, and thought The Sixth Sense as a comedy? Meh. And I expected Gervais to choose something more original. In fact, this is a very creative take on the "seeing dead people" premise. Gervais is declared clinically dead for 7 minutes after a colonoscopy. Yes you read that right. When he awakens, he has the ability to see and converse with all the deceased spirits of NYC. He is approached by Frank Herlihy, played by Greg Kinnear. His wife is about to marry a jerk, and he wants Pincas to split them up. Frank is prepared to haunt the dentist forever until he agrees to help. Gervais and Kinnear have brilliant chemistry. This is an intelligent film that weaves Gervais' smart retorts beautifully into the script. I could ramble on about the hilarious scenes in this movie. One of the most memorable has Gervais being wheeled to surgery by a team of nurses and doctors, and he has funny exchanges with each one as he becomes worried as to whether or not they are competent. Or how about where Gervais is just standing in front of a mirror with a hair dryer. You get the idea. This is a very funny film, and the fact that Gervais is not desperate for laughs, makes us crack up more. David Koepp serves as director and co-screenwriter, and what a fabulous job he did of taking the story behind an unforgettable thriller and twisting it around. Koepp understands how and when to switch gears from humor to a sequence more serious, and the twists he includes make sense and are timed magnificently. Kinnear is a fine actor, but Gervais certainly exudes his strengths to full effect. Tea Leoni can be irritating on occasion, but she can also be a terrific performer, and she is here as a woman that loves Ancient Egyptian mummies and artifacts. You can even spot Alan Ruck in a minor role. This has some romance intermingled with the wit, but Koepp drains those scenes of a corny or schmaltzy feeling. I will urge Ricky Gervais to keep an eye on how many times he picks this type of part, but I still loved every minute of him here, and I really hope that Ghost Town finds an audience on DVD because it debuted horribly at the box office. It deserved a better showing than the Dane Cook led My Best Friend's Girl. Do yourself a favor. Give this a shot. I am in complete agreement with fellow 411mania reviewer Bryan Kristopowitz who gave this a 9/10. Final Rating = 9.0/10.0

Lakeview Terrace - This was not as clumsy as I expected, but the film still had some huge slipups in the climax. This thriller was directed by Neil LaBute, whose last effort was the shoddy Wicker Man remake. For this venture, he has Patrick Wilson and Samuel L. Jackson as 2 neighbors that do not get along. You see, Jackson is Abel Turner, an L.A. cop who disapproves of his new interracial married neighbors. He immediately tries to get under their skin enough so they move out, but they refuse, so the situation escalates. I actually loved the performances in this. Jackson is in top form as an intimidating and controlling person who knows how to play mind games well. Patrick Wilson, an extremely consistent actor, is marvelous as an average Joe under constant stress because of Turner. You can find commendable supporting turns from Kerry Washington as Wilson's wife Lisa, Jay Hernandez, and others. The first say, 70%, of this movie was surprisingly subtle, complex, and absorbing even if we know where the story will go. The tone and pace are reminiscent of Alfred Hitchcock, as are the significance of the set design and locations. Lakeview Terrace starts with a realistic depiction of how 2 opposing neighbors might act, and how making one of them a cop elevates the level of intrigue. Unfortunately, I did have some issues, 2 of which were minor. The first is that for a member of the LAPD, Abel seemed to always be around when his neighbors were out and about. Her has the best cop schedule in history. Second, I failed to see how or why Abel would spend so much time bugging these poor people. For example, in Rear Window, Jimmy Stewart spied on his neighbors because he could not move his legs. He was confined to a wheelchair. We do not know Abel's reasons, and the deceased wife backstory doesn't count. As I said, those are small. The main flaw is the ending, which is disappointing, cliché, and dumb. This is what will cause many to leave the theater unsatisfied. Picture rounding first base with someone really attractive, and then they admit they're 14. That sort of emotion. The script is fair, but the exchanges on interracial relationships are weak and badly timed. The married couple victims have arguments about this that one would have thought they ironed out prior to saying "I Do." And then you have the line from the trailer, "He has color on his side, and that color happens to be blue." Ugh. Lakeview Terrace is like the hare versus the tortoise. It establishes a commanding lead, but takes a rest before the end, and loses. Final Rating = 6.0/10.0

Igor - As I watched Igor, I was reminded of that iconic quote from Cool Hand Luke. "What we have here is failure to communicate." I cite that because someone failed to tell Director Anthony Leondis, or perhaps he did not listen, that you cannot just make a film dark and have it imitate Tim Burton's work. Yes, this has a lot his touches, but minus the brains and the sense of charm which saturate Burton's films. This overly shadowy story is not only dull, but the uninteresting. The story goes something like this: "In a world filled with Mad Scientists and Evil Inventions, one talented evil scientist's hunch-backed lab assistant has big dreams of becoming a Mad Scientist himself and winning the annual Evil Science Fair." In this day and age, many animated characters resemble their real life voice actors, but here it seems that Leondis and his team of animators were desperate to make this particular Igor have a John Cusack look so it appeared to be a better match. Even still, I was not all that impressed with him here. I did however laugh at Steve Buscemi as one of Igor's inventions Scamper, an animal that is immortal, but wants to die. That is creative, but a movie about a land of Igor's is not. Sean Hayes contributes his homosexual shtick as Brain, which is funny for a minute, and then it gets annoying. This is a star-studded voice cast, another prime example that people still think the bigger the names, the better the CGI movie will be. It is the opposite actually. John Cleese, Molly Shannon, Eddie Izzard, Jay Leno, and more can be heard. None are all that spectacular because this is a sloppily constructed CGI film. The color schemes are hideous and the animation looks unpolished. My biggest problem was that much of the humor was overly dark, and had a cruel underlying tone. This clearly had adult comedy, but was aimed at kids. It doesn't mix with me. A lot of the characters were very lackluster, and because they had distinct voices or funny names, they were supposed to win us over. Igor lacks that spark that enables the audience to connect with the world. That brings up another point which Leonard mentions regularly. He commonly talks about establishing the world, and Igor certainly fails to do that. Chris McKenna's dialogue is growing more common in CGI pics. Every character unleashes lines with rapid succession like a chipmunk on a case of Red Bull. You can't just cram pop-culture references into a children's movie and have a solid experience. It doesn't work like that, and you would think the success of Pixar might have taught some folks a lesson, but that is not the case. I thought this was a horrible movie. Thumbs down, *3/4 stars, F grade, and on and on. Final Rating = 4.0/10.0

What Have I Done?

I am retiring the movie dictionary permanently. Finding interesting terms has become more difficult, and I have desired a more original section for a while anyway. This will likely change from time to time, just to avoid redundancy. The following will examine various observations and opinions I have each week.

Monday - Watched more of Russell Peters uproarious stand-up act on Google video and Youtube. I also own a copy of the Outsourced DVD. I learned more about other cultures from Russell Peters than I ever did in any Social Studies class. What is wrong with the school system?






Tuesday - Attended a New Kids on the Block concert. Drug to it may be a better word, but yes this is true. After 5 people bailed on Steph, I went so she didn't have to travel by herself. I was lost in a sea of women, lots of cute ones I might add. Since my ticket was free, I'd be lying if I said it wasn't mildly fun. They can still hit the high notes pretty well. As I spotted the few males, we would exchange depressed glances from afar which said it all. Why am I admitting to all this?




Wednesday - Are you a morning person? I am not. When I open my eyes, I get up, get dressed, and go to the bathroom similar to a George A. Romero zombie. After that business is finished, I must obtain caffeine. If before that time, I am interrupted or annoyed…beware. This picture best represents what I resemble in the middle of the week.








Thursday - I joined a local family owned rental store because they have selections tailor-made for my tastes. My account started on the 25th. I rented 2 DVDs. Upon returning them, I had a $4 late charge because I rented them on the 22nd. After explaining that my account was not even created then, the excuse was "power surges." That is one specific power surge if it moves the dates back exactly 3 days.



Friday - Finally got around to listening to the new Buckcherry CD Black Butterfly. I enjoyed it quite a bit. The end of the album trails off somewhat, but it was another solid effort from them. I really hope they take this second life seriously. The new material is a good mixture of bluesy rock with their standard vulgar lyrics.

Based on the Trailer…

Newest Trailers

The Spirit (2) - This revealed a lot more than the teaser, and while this film looks like a blast, I have some doubts, and they start with Samuel L. Jackson. Can Frank Miller hit a homerun for a third time? Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

October Releases

Quarantine - For weeks I have been told this is a remake of a decent Spanish flick called .REC. I get the picture. I will rent it at some point. I still think this remake will suck big time. That is all. Trailer Rating = 4.0/10.0

Zack and Miri Make a Porno - Kevin Smith's new comedy looks hilarious. I'm anxious to see this because I know he is a great filmmaker that can flourish outside of Jay and Silent Bob. Note: This may not be online anymore. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2) - Kevin Smith's new comedy still looks funny, but this trailer sends a different message of tone than the teaser did. I'm anxious to see this due to the absence of Jay and Silent Bob, although Mewes is involved. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Body of Lies - The new Ridley Scott pic featuring Leonardo DiCaprio and Russell Crowe. It looks phenomenal, but that should be expected with such brilliant talent. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Regilulous - Well, Bill Maher is always one to stir up controversy, and I'm sure this documentary will do the trick. I think it looks funny personally, so I'll give it a shot. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

City of Ember - Here is a film that could end up being pretty neat. The cast alone is worth the price of admission. You have Bill Murray, Saoirse Ronan, and Tim Robbins, among others. Gil Kenan is a decent director and the plot is creative, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

High School Musical 3: Senior Year - Oh boy the teaser has arrived. Why do I have the feeling that this will be exactly like the first two, both in plot and level of suckage. Ms. Tisdale is the only tolerable character. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Pride and Glory - A nifty looking cop thriller with Ed Norton and Colin Farrell. Should be ok. And if we're lucky, we will get some commendable work from Jon Voight. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Max Payne - This trailer kicks major a** with the song in the background and Marky Mark as the main character, but then again, so did the Hitman teaser, and it ended up blowing. Remember, this is based on a video game. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

W. - You're lying if you say you're not curious. Josh Brolin looks the part with white hair, but as the younger Dubya, he looks like himself. I will definitely see this because it is Oliver Stone, but I have serious doubts since its being rushed for the election. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Changeling - Not to be confused with the superb horror film starring George C. Scott. This is a Clint Eastwood original that looks outstanding. Can Clint do no wrong? Angelina Jolie looks to be in contention for an Oscar. I will be seeing this. Trailer Rating = 9.5/10.0

RocknRolla - The new thriller from Guy Ritchie. It can't be as bad as Revolver right? He needs a comeback badly, and I hope this is it. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Saw V - This is just a teaser, but it gets the same point across. I am a fan of the series, so I'll certainly be seeing this one. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

November Releases

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - This is some sort of weird DVD trailer, but we see the basic layout of the plot, and it is not very funny or interesting. I could care less about this one. Trailer Rating = 4.5/10.0

Repo! The Genetic Opera - They keep the music clips to a minimum in the trailer, which was wise. While this certainly intrigues me, the praising quotes from random websites worries me. It could be really bad, but check out the cast. That alone is worth the price of admission. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Quantum of Solace - I saw this weeks ago, but forgot to rate it here. The new Bond movie looks to be just as awesome as Casino Royale. I can't wait. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Transporter 3 - I know George's buddy is looking forward to anything Statham, but this franchise has never been all that outstanding to me. Statham is hit or miss. I'll see this I guess, but only out of curiosity. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

Australia - The new epic from filmmaker Baz Luhrman seems to have left out his usual exaggerated flair. Kidman and Jackman will make a fine team. I think this looks rather good, and the trailer has a splendid piece of music accompanying it. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Bolt - It takes exactly two seconds to decipher the Disney CGI to the Pixar Disney CGI. This has John Travolta as the lead voice. The hamster seems funny, but the rest doesn't impress me. Trailer Rating = 5.5/10.0

The Soloist - Atonement' Joe Wright changes his British period drama material for something new. This looks a bit like Resurrecting the Champ, only with better actors. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Milk - Sean Penn as a gay man. At least we know he wants an Oscar. I love Gus Van Sant, so this should be fabulous no matter how many Oscars they want. The cast has some outstanding young guys in it, so I'm there. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Four Christmases - Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon in a holiday comedy. Yippee. I generally dislike modern Christmas movie because they all go way overboard on the slapstick. This appears to be up that same alley with typical Vaughn shtick. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

December Releases

Doubt - A great looking drama with great performers. This trailer was riveting. I'm looking forward to it. How can you go wrong with Meryl Streep and Philip Seymour Hoffman going toe to toe? Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Frost/Nixon - Wow. I was glued to my seat. This is an amazing trailer that shows right away how brilliant the performances are. Ron Howard is a superb director, and I really hope this is a hit for him. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

Yes Man - A new Jim Carrey comedy where he must say yes to everything. Sounds a bit like Liar Liar, but this is the Carrey humor I have missed for years. It looks pretty funny to me. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Che - Granted, this is in Spanish, which I do not speak fluently, but this trailer looks amazing nevertheless. Soderbergh's epic should be fantastic. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Defiance - This new Edward Zwick film looks outstanding with Daniel Craig leading the cast in World War II story. This gave me chills. I can't wait. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Punisher: War Zone - This is only a teaser, but I get the impression I have seen all I need to. This sequel (or whatever is in relation to the previous film) looks like an comic action nightmare with cliches up the wazoo. I'm not a fan of the Punishers movies thus far, and this does not look to change that. Trailer Rating = 5.0/10.0

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - This film looks amazing. David Fincher is the man, I will be waiting to purchase my ticket. A plot about someone who ages backwards has all sorts of possibilities. Trailer Rating = 10.0/10.0

The Spirit - This is the new adaptation from Frank Miller. I'm anxious to see this, but from this teaser, it looks a bit too similar to Sin City. Oh well. I loved that film, so maybe this will be just as entertaining. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

The Day the Earth Stood Still - This teaser illustrates how a classic sci-fi film will probably not update well for this era. I am curious because Keanu Reeves is a suitable choices, but I noticed too much CGI just from this, so that's not a good sign. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

The Tale of Despereaux - This new Universal CGI film has some cute lines and some exquisite animation, but the plot strikes me as dull. You never know, at least it isn't filled with poop jokes. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

January, TBD, and Beyond Releases

The Escapist - A British prison break film starring Brian Cox. This is my favorite genre, so I can't wait for this, but in order for this to make a splash, it will have to be something special. The critic quotes being from random guys worries me. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Terminator Salvation - I love Christian Bale, and the Terminator franchise, but I have serious doubts about this. I believe it will be terrible, but I must admit, this teaser was well constructed. Trailer Rating = 8.0/10.0

Watchmen - This was the best trailer attached to my Dark Knight screening. Hopefully Zack Snyder can continue to improve his skills after 300. I must read this graphic novel soon. Trailer Rating = 8.5/10.0

Star Trek XI - The teaser was superbly placed before Cloverfield, and this causes me to be amped for the next installment despite my doubts about the cast. I hope it's as good as we deserve. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Wolverine - Not the finest quality of trailers, but you can still seen and understand it. Gavin Hood is directing, so that is intriguing. The preview is ok, and I am still unsure. Can the character carry a whole film on his own? Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

The Perfect Game - Though I'm not a baseball fan, I always enjoy watching the Little League World Series. The problem with this film, despite a bad title, is that the preview reveals way too much, so hopefully it has more going for it besides the story, which I'm sure is inspirational. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

Outlander - Hmm, I'm not sure about this, but the cast alone is enough for me to buy a ticket. James Caviezel is so talented, but his script choices continue to boggle me (not in a bad way mind you). The idea is shaky, but the effects and acting look good, so I'm in. Trailer Rating = 7.0/10.0

The International - Sadly, this will be released early in 2009, which is not a good time of the year. Still, I like both Owen and Watts, and since Tom Tykwer is helming, it should be at least halfway decent. Trailer Rating = 7.5/10.0

Fast & Furious - Is that the best title they could come up with? Well, I hate this franchise, and everything it stands for, but I'd be lying if I said this wasn't a step up from the previous installment. Trailer Rating = 6.0/10.0

Knowing - This has Number 23 sort of approach, which is fine, but why is Nicolas Cage doing all these mediocre thrillers? He's a great actor, and should be showing that more. Anyway, this looks ok. Trailer Rating = 6.5/10.0

New York, I Love You - The first film, Paris, Je T'aime was one of the best films in recent memory that few knew about. So I am very excited about this second installment. The cast and directors look amazing. It should be a terrific experience. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - This was a great book, the darkest of the set, and this trailer rocks. I'm anxious to see this. The franchise has not decreased in quality, and here's hoping this continues that trend. Trailer Rating = 9.0/10.0

Other Stuff to Read

The Best Movies of the Alphabet
411 August Roundtable - This month Owain J. Brimfield takes the reigns and compiled the thoughts of the movie zone staff on the summer releases for August!
The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks - Thanks again to John Meehan for providing my banner here, and for the Alphabet feature.

Also, keep an eye out for more comic book character timelines in the future. Here are the first two:

The Ultimate Batman Timeline
The Ultimate Daredevil Timeline



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