Ghost Hunters Recap Episode 4.19: Oak Alley Plantation

Posted by Ron Martin on 10.13.2008

This week the team takes on the home that supposedly burnt down in Interview with a Vampire. More importantly, Barry and Joe Chin are both here! Lots of Jason and Grant -- not a whole lot of anything else.

Here we are, people. I couldn't do the recap on vacation because well, the "free wifi" offered up by hotel was about the same speed as dialup with about two bars, thus making it virtually impossible to watch anything streaming on the internet. I'm home now enjoying my high speed internet and about a week's worth of DVRing that includes Ghost Hunters. I thought about not doing this recap, but just so I can have a complete set, I think I will.

As for my own ghost hunting in Salem, MA, well – I had fun. I got some interesting pics. Nothing like I got last year, but still some decent ones. I haven't seen them on my computer yet and I haven't gone over all the audio yet, either. Once I do, I'll let you guys know what I got. Until then, let's get to…




It seems my DVR recorded about three episodes as "new" even though, like the Highlander and vampire slayers, there can be only one. I shall find it and then I shall delete the imposters. This task has been completed. On this episode, the boys (and girls) are in Louisiana to investigate the Interview with a Vampire house. They also invite an old friend who is on American shores for the first time. They try and fool us into thinking that this might be Joe Chin, but really it's Barry from GHI. Barry has never been to America before, really? He says he has always wanted to come to a place like this. Dude, you just investigated Dracula's Castle, this can't be that impressive. At some point, Grant says "what the frig?!" and Kris and Krysten supposedly will see their worst fears in the plantations attic. I find it odd that they both have the same fear. I think the announcer is a little sexist.

The fake Day Job
Really, they're not even trying anymore. Grant is just straddling a toilet and playing in the back of it. Doesn't Roto Rooter require their workers to be clean shaven?

TAPS Headquarters
Grant tells the team that a place that held a lot of slaves isn't a real positive environment. I'm glad he cleared that up. Jason declares they need help and since Barry was in town (though he supposedly has never stepped on American soil before) they gave him a call. Isn't a bitch that you have to dial international codes even though Barry is just a couple miles away? Oy. They also got Krysten and Joe M'F'ing Chin, baby! I think if he were alive then, Joe Chin would have freed the slaves. Take it to the bank. The Bank of Joe Chin. They couldn't have gotten these guys for the Buffalo train station?

Barry clears some things up for us by telling the world that this is his first time in the Southern US (damn lying announcer) and he's always wanted to see a southern plantation. I guess if you live around castles all the time, maybe investigating castles isn't all that. I am very upset that Kris still gets to ride in the front car despite Joe Chin and Barry both being present. That's almost sacrilegious. Jason says Interview was filmed there. Kris immediately says OMG! Interview was so awesome. Brad Pitt was so hot! Well, it was close to that, anyways. A psychic witch friend of mine in Salem declared to me that Jason has the secret hots for Kris. Take it as you will. They are just using Barry for his French knowledge, which is odd because he's Irish. I'm half Irish. Which makes me half badass. That's better than no badass. Krysten actually acts like she wants to be here for once.

Cue montage of all the cast members saying how big it is. I really want to make an off color Kris joke here, but I will restrain. See, I can be good sometimes.

Case #1: Oak Alley Plantation, Vacherie, LA

The Investigation
Sandra is our guide and I am disappointed that she is not a vampire. She has little to no accent. This makes me a sad panda. There's a "black lady." What a surprise. While we're talking surprises, anyone want to put some money down that Jason and Grant use the K-2 meter and that it goes off? Rumor has it that the "black lady" is Selina, the first female owner of the house. She has a habit of popping up in the mirror as you are looking in it. How vain. Candles are flying everywhere, dogs are laying on beds – it's just bedlam here. They are saying it's a black mass, but there's a big black dog on the bed. Can we connect the dots? There is a presence in the attic. I think it's a spider. I think Steve will be scared of it.

Grant says the location is beautiful and as the word it said, there's a quick cut to Kris doing set up work. Way to be subliminal, Pilgrim Films. I met real pilgrims – in re-enactments, that is. I don't know if this house can hold the pain that is Barry and Joe Chin all at once.

Scene that shall not be named other than "Stupid Scene."

Jason and Grant are on the second floor. It's in their contract that they have to be the first ones shown investigating. I totally made that up, but I really wouldn't be surprised if it was. Within about three seconds they see a thermal anomaly in the window because the show has to go to….

COMMERCIALS.

Jason saw something on the balcony, so he sends Grant out to the balcony. Some would call this cowardly, I call this intelligent. Grant can't be scene through the same window in the thermal.

HOLEEEEEEEEEE SHITE?!!!

Joe M'Fkn Chin and Barry are teamed together. Incredible. This is the only possible combination that even Chuck Norris would run and hide from. Where is Barry's light sucking camera? Joe's parents are Chinese. What?!!! I would have never known. He's the 10th child out of 11. Ouch. Talk about little kid syndrome. Why is he giving Barry is autobiography. Is Barry trying to distract him to take him out and score a point for GHI. Barry is a spy? Say it ain't so, Barry. Now Barry is getting weird movement on the thermal. I'm betting it's just an animal of some sort. It's an armadillo. Barry doesn't recognize it because they don't have those creatures in Ireland. So he kills it and smears its blood around the trees as a warning to all other creatures of the woods.

Tango and Steve are in the dining room. Steve tells the story of flying candles. They light the candles as a ‘spermint. If the candles fly, maybe lighting them is not such a great idea. Steve feels someone standing next to him. Could be a cameraman. Just saying.

Jason and Grant are in the Lavender Room where Selina died. Grant comforts her by letting her know that they are not the cops and tells her that they can't offer her help. Shite, man – what good are you? They're seeing shadows against a window. These crazy guys and their windows.

It looked like someone looked in the window, so they go and check. Guess what? No one was there.

Barry and Kris are in the parlor. Hmmm….I hope Barry doesn't pop her head off like a delicate flower. They're doing EVP work and Kris hasn't said a single word. This is how I like my Kris – damnit, it was too good to be true. Just Barry's presence makes Kris almost look like a ghost hunter. Barry starts talking about Paris in hope of interesting the builders of the home, since they were French. He talks about the tunnels made of dead bodies. Kris gawks in a wide-eyed stare. Barry ends the EVP session because he is Barry and he can.

Jason and Grant are on the first floor with the thermal sweep. I am stating to worry about my bet because they haven't broken out the K-2 yet. They are trying to debunk the whole mirror thing. Some disembodied voice that sounded nothing like either Jason or Grant says it's time to do EVP work…so they do. The disembodied voice is the boss. They see a light outside the window. No one is outside because everyone knows that if they go outside, they will be eaten by crocs. True story.

Krysten makes her first appearance and as always, she is stuck with Kris. They are in the Lavender room. No wonder Krysten is rarely on, she is always stuck with Kris! This causes the door to move some how. Door moving? Must be a cue for…

COMMERCIALS.

Krysten figures out the door couldn't have moved on its own. So she cusses. Mostly because she is always stuck with Kris.

Jason and Grant head up to the attic to see why Sandra won't go up there. They noticed that the staircase is leaning giving the stairwell the "funhouse effect," as they call it. If I thought clowns were waiting for me at the top of the stairs, I wouldn't go in there either, so I don't blame the lady.

Barry and Joe Chin are on the second floor where strange things are happening. Some cocky ghost is hitting Barry in the back. Joe Chin's K-2 meter is going crazy. Little does he know that it has nothing to do with ghosts, it's just because it's around Joe Chin and Barry both. No electrical equipment could withstand that kind of punishment. When Barry takes the EMF reader out of his pocket, the K-2 stops. Barry is getting all crazy investigative, thus blowing the team's mind.

Kris and Krysten are in the attic. There's a rack with a crapload of clothes on it that Krysten wants to go through because you know, Christmas is coming up and if you can some things on the cheap – more power to you. They both freak as a large bug is crawling on one of the shirts. This is their greatest fear? Wow. Just wow. They are trying to contact the dead and the announcer thinks a singular bug is their greatest fear? This isn't Steve we're talking about. Krysten tells the old wives tale that if you step on a bug, you get the eggs on your shoe and bring them home with you. Why do I think that Krysten believes every urban legend type thing she hears? She probably knows someone who knows someone who ate a taco at Taco Bell that had roach eggs in it and hatched a whole roach army in their mouth.

Jason and Grant are in the Lavender room again. Man, they are really hogging this show. Jason tries to piss off the ghost by telling them that other people own their home. What a dick. I kind of hope that someone sold his house out from under him while he was filming this and he goes home to other people owning his house. I would point and laugh. They put a K-2, audio recorder and flashlight on the floor to try and get the ghost to do something. He gets a cold flash so he starts taunting the ghost some more. The flashlight comes on, on its own bringing out a long awaited "What the frig?" WHAT THE FRIG? MO-Fing!

I'm getting pretty sick of these "interviews" where the investigator says pretty much what just happened. We saw it, we don't need them to tell us about it. Grant tells the ghost not to be uncomfortable because Jason was going to come over there. Now, if only the rest of the team could follow those rules. Oooooh! Jason claims the flashlight is very cold. I'll take his word for it.

Tango and Steve are in the dining room. Of course they're not actually doing anything productive. Actually, Steve is ringing a bell. Krysten calls him and ask if he's ringing the bell because she is hearing it. Steve plays a joke by telling her that he is not ringing the bell and thus, pretty much negating every ounce of evidence collected on the investigation. If he's lying about ringing a bell, how can you take anything at face value? You got an EVP? How do you know? It could be Steve. He could be lying about faking the evidence. He'd better hope that Barry doesn't find out.

Jason is very excited because of the flashlight, but how does he know that it wasn't just Steve and that Steve is lying about it?

Barry doesn't say so, but I'm betting her heard about Steve's shenanigans and decides to head back to Europe rather than be associated with it. I don't blame him.

The Analysis
Steve's beard is full now. I'd like to note that Joe Chin's headset is plain and black – as it should be. Tango hears a door sliding shut at command. Steve says it's an odd sound so he defers to Joe Chin – as he should. They get some weird purple on the thermal. PURPLE, I TELL YOU! Purple is so surprising that we have to go to…

COMMERCIALS.

The Findings
I'm guessing that Krysten also went home because she didn't make it to the Findings segment. Either that or the producers didn't want her to show up to make Kris look more like the dominant female. Hey, don't knock it as so crazy. Producers have done stranger things. The weird purple was just the air conditioning vent. That's all they have? Are you kidding me? What about the weird figure on the other side of the window? The light coming on outside by itself? The flashlight?

The Reveal
They brag about all their debunking. At one point, Jason starts a sentence as a voiceover and finishes it on the screen. I wonder if something was funky with the audio or something. He talks about personal experiences and plays the "door shutting" EVP. Sandra jumps on that because she wants the place to be haunted so she can raise the price of her tours. They play video of K-2 work that we weren't shown during the investigation. You're not missing much, it went off – imagine that! The meter went off when they were asking about the ownership of the house. That might have been good to know since their EVP stuff seemed so out of line. It makes more sense now. They show the weird thermal person outside the window. Sandra is the queen of the one sentence sound bite. They show the flashlight, and it once again happens conveniently off camera. They try to weasel their way back into the house again.

Status: Haunted. Jason says "neat little activity." I am assuming that is Rhode Island for "haunted."


Cartalk. Thank goodness without Kris.

Overall: Despite what the announcer tried to lead you to believe, this was a pretty boring episode. You knew the place was going to be haunted about five minutes in because they don't seem to need any real evidence for a place to be haunted these days. I am ashamed that not even Joe Chin and Barry both on my screen simultaneously could save this episode. I imagine we'll be seeing a lot more of Krysten in the next few weeks and maybe even a Heather cameo as Pilgrim is trying to get us ready for the Live Halloween episode. I have no idea what the hell they were doing airing the whole Steve lying thing. They did make it clear that Krysten didn't believe him, but what if she had and had presented that to Jason and Grant as a personal experience? Jason would have bitten her face off. It sounds nitpicky and no fun, but trust me, there are tons of ways to have fun on a ghost hunt without compromising evidence. I want to assume that Pilgrim told Steve to try and be the class clown, but Steve knows better.

Until Wednesday, watch out for ghosts.