Nightmare at Noon, a fun piece of schlock from Greek director Nico Mastorakis, is the kind of movie you stumble across at 1am on cable and – against all better judgment – proceed to watch straight through to the finish. It's utterly ridiculous, and yet oddly absorbing. And of all the films I've reviewed since starting the Zombie-Thon two years ago, it is undoubtedly the one that caused me the most inner-debate about whether it should even be included at all. Not only does it basically stop being a zombie movie about halfway through (we'll get to that in a bit), but its "zombie" status is pretty questionable in the first place. I'm sure certain purists would argue that the psychotic townsfolk of this movie are even further from the typical zombie definition than the rage-infected monsters of 28 Days Later (another film that certain fans love to scream "isn't a zombie movie!"). However, in my defense, the movie's official synopsis lists them as "zombies," and they do bleed a strange green substance when they are shot. Whatever the hell they've become, it sure ain't human. So, what the hell, I'll take it.
The townsfolk in question hail from the small mountain town of Canyonland. Just how small is a somewhat confusing issue. The official trailer for the movie says the population is 167, while the movie itself says 963. Based on the visual evidence offered, my guess was more along the lines of 40. Whatever the case, let's just agree that it's a small town.
It's also the site of a horrible experiment conducted by a mysterious mute albino, played by B-movie regular Brion James (looking even creepier than usual, and that's saying something). Together with his evil henchmen, this Edgar Winter-looking mofo poisons the town's water supply with a strange chemical that transforms the majority of the populace into crazed murderers. All hope is not lost for Canyonland, though, thanks to the heroic sheriff (George Kennedy), his deputy daughter (Kimbery Ross), a bickering married couple passing through town (Kimberly Beck and Wings Hauser), and an ex-cop hitchhiker they recently picked up (Bo Hopkins). Together, this unlikely band of heroes readily embrace the movie's obvious Western motif (note the nods to High Noon and a reference to the OK Corral), marching through town like classic gunslingers to combat the rabid townies.
I know what you might be thinking. "Trevor, aren't you the guy constantly calling for more zombie-western mash-ups? This must be right up your alley, huh?" You'd think so, wouldn't you? But, in fact, here's a situation where the film's western inclinations almost become its downfall. Just when you're starting to get into the story of the town's zombie outbreak and the resultant chaos, the movie abruptly drops it, instead sending our heroes riding into the desert, posse-style, to go after the albino and his men. From this point on (and we're talking almost the entire second half of the film), you might as well forget you were ever watching a horror movie, because the filmmakers sure as hell did. We're not even sure the whole zombie situation has been resolved, but we're forced to go along as the movie ignores what seems to be its main selling point and suddenly morphs into an old-fashioned Western homage.
It doesn't help matters any that this whole western motif just doesn't make a lick of sense. It's corny enough to see our heroes grab a bunch of horses and ride out for vengeance, but why the hell are the villains on horseback, as well? We've already seen the bad guys roll into town in a fleet of vehicles. Why would they suddenly abandon their vans and make their escape on the backs of horses? I guess the technical answer is that they'e set up some kind of magnetic barrier around town that prevents any vehicle from leaving. But, if their experiment is finished, why not just turn that off and drive out of there? It's inexplicable…although, now that I think about it, that it makes no sense actually gives it more in common with the rest of the movie than I originally thought.
Anyway, this sudden change of tone and genre can probably be explained in one of two ways. Perhaps it's as simple as Mastorakis always wanting to make an actual western, and deciding to just get it out of his system with this film, whether it fit the plot or not. Or, and I'm guessing this is more likely, it could have been something of cost-cutting measure. Sure, this movie looks pretty darn good, but it's clearly not a big-budget production. Even during the initial outbreak, it's obvious the movie just couldn't afford the scenes of mass mayhem that the story demands (we really only get glimpses of the hell the town is going through, and for the most part have to settle for seeing the aftermath). Keeping the last 45 minutes or so down to just a handful of characters chasing each other through the desert almost certainly helped free up the limited budget for the movie's numerous explosions (this is one of those action flicks where apparently everything is extremely combustible), gun-fights, and the completely unnecessary climactic helicopter chase. You might not come away from Nightmare at Noon thinking Mastorakis is a great director, but it's tough to deny he knows how to make the most of his budget.
Despite its glaring flaws and seeming confusion about what kind of movie it is, there's still something to be said for the pure "fun factor" of this one. Sure, its cast and synth-heavy score (by Hans Zimmer!) might mark it as a relic of its era, but one thing that's timeless is attitude. And with its love of explosions, gunfire, and tough guy clichés (Hopkins' character is basically a walking thesis on "mysterious drifter who turns out to be a noble hero" archetypes), Nightmare at Noon is kind of the ultimate "guy zombie movie." It should be right up the alley of anyone who thinks movies like Smokey & The Bandit or Road House are epic achievements in the history of cinema. Hell, Burt Reynolds could have walked right into this movie as Bandit, and he wouldn't have seemed out of place. Actually, if that had happened, it would have elevated this to a perfect score from me. But, oh well, no use dwelling on missed opportunities.
If we have to dwell on something, let's dwell on the awesome sequence where the sheriff warns his fellow heroes not to shoot to kill when taking on the infected residents, because they're good, "God-fearing people." They then all go out and proceed to just blast away everyone they see! Hell, even the sheriff shoots the town's priest right in the heart. Way to practice what you preach, Kennedy. But, like I said, this is a movie that celebrates machismo and kickin' ass all the way, so it's not like their trigger-happy approach is any surprise. What is surprising is that this movie never ended up in regular rotation on Spike TV, TNT, or any other network that celebrates such unrepentant "guy" movies. I don't know…maybe it just needed one more explosion.
FINAL SCORE: 2.5 out of 4 Bubs (Mildly Recommended)
