The October Zombie-Thon - Day 31: Zombie Strippers

Posted by Trevor Snyder on 10.31.2008

And now, THE zombie stripper movie.

ZOMBIE STRIPPERS (2008)



Written & Directed by: Jay Lee
Country: USA

Perhaps more so than any movie I've ever reviewed in the Zombie-Thon, Zombie Strippers is, ultimately, somewhat critic-proof. There are really only two realistic possibilities that could follow hearing that title. Either you think "wow, that sounds horrible," or "wow, I have got to see that movie." If you're reading this column, I can only hope you fall into the latter category. If so, here's the good news – while nothing I say here could probably change your resolve to experience, I can at least assure you that you've made the right choice, and are in for one hell of a good time.

The year is 2012, and George W. Bush's fourth presidential term has just been declared both legal and "totally cool" by the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, Jenna Bush. In a government facility located in the small town of Sartre, Nebraska, an experiment meant to keep Iraq War soldiers fighting even after death has unwittingly unleashed a horde of flesh-hungry zombies. The nation's top squad of marines (they just recently defeated Satan and averted Armageddon) are called in to contain the matter, but things hit a glitch when one of the soldiers, Private Byrdflough (say it out loud for "maximum" hilarity), is bitten. Rather than reveal this to his teammates, he flees and takes refuge in a nearby underground strip club. And I mean "underground" both literally and figuratively – all forms of public nudity have recently been declared illegal.

Inside this club, pretty much every stripper movie you've ever seen is playing out. We have the brand new, innocent, fresh-off-the-farm and in-over-her-head girl (Jennifer Holland). We have the reigning star attraction (played by porn legend Jenna Jameson) and her jealous rival (Shamron Moore). And, of course, we have the greedy club owner (played by Freddy Krueger himself, Robert Englund). Remove just one word from that title, and we'd be all set. But, then again, that's not why we're here, and so soon enough the infected Byrdflough attacks and kills Jameson's character. But before the club can even ponder the ramifications of losing their main girl, a now undead and blood-covered Jameson is back on her feet and back on the stripper-pole. You might expect her dancing to be hindered by her new zombie state, but actually she's now hotter-than-ever. In fact, her death seems to have been an improvement in more ways than one – not only does she now have a clearer understanding of Nietzsche (no kidding), but she even feels more alive than ever before ("oh, sweet irony," muses a fellow dancer).

When her new undead act proves to be a hit with the club's patrons, it sets off a wave of jealousy and resentment through the rest of the dancers, some of whom soon offer themselves up to Jameson so that they do can become zombies and reap the benefits. This is all fine with the greedy owner, whose club is now growing more and more popular. And if he has to periodically lock-up the re-animated bodies of the men his girls choose as post-dance snacks, then so be it. Naturally, though, you can only go so long in a situation like that before things eventually spin out-of-control, and so it should surprise no one to hear that soon the blood-thirsty zombies are loose, the club has become an all-out bloodbath, and in the middle of it all two rival zombie strippers are engaging in a heated dance-off, complete with one of the girls shooting pool balls from her privates at the other. Well, alright, maybe that part will surprise you.

They say you can't judge a book by its cover, and I guess that's true even for a movie like Zombie Strippers. Don't get me wrong – in many ways, it is exactly the movie you think it is. In fact, it's that movie in all the right ways: filled to the brim with naked female flesh and gory, exaggerated zombie mayhem. But would you also have expected that little bit of political satire? Sure, that's not uncommon in the zombie genre, but in a goofy flick called Zombie Strippers? Even more unexpected is the films obsession with philosophy, which manifests itself in the name of the town, Jameson's frequent Nietzsche-quoting, and a number of other references throughout. This might seem like an odd place to encounter such philosophical thought, until you consider that this movie is also loosely based on Eugène Ionesco's classic absurdist play "Rhinoceros." No, really. Whether you find this kind of stuff genuinely clever or simply an example of self-indulgent, "look how smart we are" thinking is up to you. But there's no denying if adds a whole other level to the film, setting it apart from scores of similar T&A horror movies.

But what is actually most shocking about Zombie Strippers is just how legitimately funny it really is. I think I can be forgiven for originally assuming that this movie would offer little entertainment outside of the typical "so bad it's good" realm. But this is one of those great examples where the filmmaker (writer/director Jay Lee) knows exactly what kind of movie he is making, and manages to both live up to the expectations while also not becoming a slave to them. Yes, he delivers on everything we want to see in a movie about zombie strippers, but he's not content to simply sit back and assume the idea alone will carry the movie (as was obviously the case with yesterday's similar-themed movie, Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!). And so Lee takes things to the next level by gleefully piling on the outrageousness, most of which is truly amusing. It also helps that Lee isn't afraid to take the low road whenever necessary, although even then he does such with a wicked subversive streak. For instance, the film's best running gag is the increasingly offensive stereotyping of Paco, the club's Mexican janitor (Joey Medina), which is handled in such an exaggerated manner that you just can't help but laugh.

Of course, as smart and witty as Lee's script is, it wouldn't have amounted to much without actors willing to embrace its ridiculousness. And while the acting here isn't great across the board, there are a number of standout performances. It goes without saying that, if you give Robert Englund a chance to completely ham it up, he'll nail it out of the park – and that's exactly what he does here (although it says something strange about Englund's career that this is the second "owner of a club with dancing dead girls" role he has portrayed in the last few years, after Tobe Hooper's "Dance of the Dead" episode of Masters of Horror). I also thoroughly enjoyed the work of rock singer Roxy Saint as Lilith, the sexy goth stripper who sees being a zombie as the ultimate way to get in touch with her death-obsession.

But, let's face it, the movie belongs to Jenna Jameson, and yes, the girl delivers. If the movie is surprisingly good, a lot of that can be chalked up to Jameson's surprisingly strong performance, as she dives into her flesh-hungry role with gusto. Jameson is sexy, scary, funny…everything that is required of her. Plus, she shows that she's just as willing to hide her looks under zombie-makeup as she is to get naked. Well, maybe not as willing, but still. While mainstream Hollywood might never fully accept her, this movie proves that – if she is truly serious about staying retired from porn – she definitely has the potential to be the next great B-movie scream queen.

OK, so a couple of the jokes might fall flat, and hardcore horror fans might find some of the digital FX a tad questionable (I really regret the day zombie movies turned to computers for their bloody head explosions). Plus, in all honesty, a number of the longer dance routines feel like they are here just to pad out the film's running time (although I know full well not every guy will agree with that, and even I'll say that there are definitely worse problems to have). But, overall, this movie is a lot better than anyone probably expects – even those who were dead-set on seeing it anyways. And thank heavens for that, cause it would be a real shame to have to trash a movie called Zombie Strippers.

FINAL SCORE: 3.5 out of 4 Bubs (Highly Recommended)