411 Movies Zone News Report 12.09.02
Posted by Lionel Bohbot on 12.09.2002
Find out how to win your fantasy football league. Since this *is* the Movies Zone, I've included your usual dose of Star Wars, X-Men, Freddy vs. Jason and Two Towers stuff. That means more details, new pictures and why you should not draft Brett Favre in your football league.
There's nothing finer than watching Priest Holmes single-handedly win you your fantasy football season. He's got how many touchdowns again? 24? Not bad for a late first round pick. Can you believe some idiots went with Daunte Culpepper and Shaun Alexander in the first round?
You want to win your fantasy football league next year? Print the instructions below and follow them.
Round 1- Draft a running back. A good fn' running back with a proven track record. That means Marshall Faulk, Priest Holmes, Ricky Williams and LaDanian Tomlinson. Add Edgerrin James to that list since it always takes two seasons for a running back to heal from a torn ACL. There rest are second round (or later) material.
Round 2- Draft a star wide receiver. That's an elite wide receiver, not Joe Horn. Chances are you'll be able to get Terrell Owens or Marvin Harrison in the second round.
Round 3- Draft the best running back available on the board. Look at the top teams in your current league. What do they all have in common? Two great running backs. You'll be able to get Eddie George, Stephen Davis, Clinton Portis, Travis Henry and Jamal Lewis in round three. I recommend Portis.
Round 4- Time for a quarterback. I just love how some people will take Brett Favre or Kurt Warner in the first round. Yeah they put up stats but the drop-off between a Favre and a Drew Bledsoe or a Brian Griese is not nearly as big as the drop-off between a Priest Holmes and a William Green.
Other rules: Don't bother with a Tight End until round 8. They're all the same after Tony Gonzalez and Bubba Franks. Don't ruin your season by wasting a 1-7 round draft pick on a TE since their points are significantly lower than a 1-7 round RB or WR.
Other rules II: All rookie wide receivers not named Randy Moss suck. Stay away from them. Take a chance on rookie running backs as your third (backup) running back. NFL teams are now making sure they don't pick the next Curtis Enis in the first round.
Other Rules III: Never and I do mean never fucking take a kicker before the last round of your draft. Never take a defense with more than three rounds remaining on your draft. People who pick Mike Vanderjagt in round 6 deserve to be shot. When picking a kicker go with a guy whose team struggles to convert in the redzone. That means Tampa, NYG and Miami. Oh and for Christ's sake, you don't need three kickers on your fantasy team! One will do. Pick two defenses so you can dump one and pick up another kicker when your current guy has a bye week.
Am I guaranteeing you a championship? No, because you might still be a bonehead. You're a bonehead if you get stuck with Terry Glenn as your second WR. You're an even bigger bonehead if your third running back is Thomas Jones. Don't wind up with Steve McNair as your starting quarterback. Mike Vick is a great player but not a great fantasy football player. There's a big difference. Ever look at his stats? You also have to fill in your fucking lineup each week. If your guy has a bye week, you yank his ass out of the lineup. General rule: Never bench your studs. No matter how bad the match up, Terrell Owens starts every week. Got it?
Even if you are a bonehead, chances are you still make the playoffs with my strategy.
I know this isn't 411 Sports so let's get to the movies.
NEWS, RUMORS AND OPINIONS
Elf: Will Ferrell's first project since leaving SNL is taking shape. Mary Steenburgen is now on board. The cast already includes James Caan, Bob Newhart and Ed Asner. (The Hollywood Reporter)
Freddy vs. Jason: Robert Englund talked with JoBlo. Here are his views on the big Freddy vs. Jason project: "It's like some gorgeous, twisted, violent Dutch comic book you know-- Asian, Cyber Japanese Cyber Punk, illustrated comic book with Scorsese camera angles, Orson Wells camera angles and film noir style...it's REALLY interesting! There's also lots of different colors plays, kind of like Paul Schrader's style. It's just really a great classy, violent popcorn movie. I've been calling it a gourmet popcorn that's spelled...G-O-R-E."
Scorsese and Welles camera angles? Hey Englund, it's a fucking Freddy movie. How about a sense of perspective?
G-O-R-E! G-O-R-E! G-O-R-E!
Star Wars Episode 3: Sith news is always cool. Here's a nice item: "As many of you know, the new Star Wars game Star Wars Galaxies is due next year. Every aspect of the games content had to be approved from Lucasfilm and I was able to confirm some interesting news. There is a planet in the game knows as LOK which is described as having bubbling lave pits and a haven of pirate activity. I have also learned that the planet at least in the game is said to be the place of a Sith Temple/Palace. Could this be the fabled location of the pending duel between Anakin and Obi Wan that results in the creation of Vader?" (Moviehole.net)
X-Men 2: I shouldn't be calling it X-Men 2 anymore. "Last night on FOX 11 News they spoke of the X-Men Sequel and They Called it "X2: X-Men United", over and over again, as well as had footage and interviews with the cast. With the New title as a header in the Back ground." (Countingdown.com)
Glenn Quinn: Actor Glenn Quinn passed away on Friday. He's best known for his role as Doyle on Angel or is it Angel on the show Doyle? I don't follow teen superhero TV shows. He also played the part of Mark Healy, Becky's husband on Roseanne.
Rich Wilson makes his debut at the 411 Movies Zone. Be sure to check out his new column, View from the Cheap Seats. In case you don't know, Rich is a friendless, dateless, jobless geek. Oh, I mean he enjoys going to matinees alone. 28 Days Later? Good god, did someone really make a sequel to Sandra Bullock's 28 Days?
Howard Everett, another newcomer, takes a look at the new Austin Powers in Goldmember DVD. The film was OK. It had its moments. I saw it during the summer and downloaded the sucker (DVD rip) off Kazaa Lite yesterday. That puts my collection of DVD rips at around the 140. $20 for the same movie and some thrown in extras? Um... no.
