411 Movies Roundtable: November 2008 Part 1
Posted by Owain J. Brimfield on 11.06.2008
The 411 staff takes a look back at the month that was, and discusses the upcoming big releases in November!
Welcome to the monthly 411 Movies Roundtable. We're here a few days late this month, courtesy of the horrendously oversized graphics card I recently purchased falling away from its mooring tethers and crushing the wireless PCI card that was unfortunate enough to be occupying the berth just below it. System suitably reinforced with a hefty number of rivets, and 15m of ethernet cable purchased, and we're good to go. The weather's starting to get pretty nasty outside, so let's hope that aside from the election there's another good reason to venture out of the house - cinema. This month, Sam Jackson has the misfortune of co-starring with two ghosts, the Weinsteins cave to popular demand, and, of course, Bond is Back.
This month's picture theme takes a rather obvious path, with a celebration of some of 007's *ahem* "finest" adversaries throughout the years. As always, bragging rights to whoever can name the character and movie for every pic.
For everyone's reference, I bet each of our lovely contributors to this roundtable one whole drink that every single one of them would choose the new Bond as their most anticipated flick of the month. My wallet is quite literally on the line here.
Let's get down to business...
Introducing this month's participants:
The master of Furiosity Arnold Furious!
Giving it a Little Push, Rick Tym!
The starving dog himself, Shawn S. Lealos!
The guru of the direct-to-DVD release, Bryan Kristopowitz!
Surely he can't squeeze in another Star Wars reference... Jason Chamberlain!
Often mistaken for Csonka, our very own Jeremy Thomas!
...and I'm your host, Owain J. Brimfield!
The Month That Was
Arnold Furious
Biggest Winner of the Month: Disney. How many times are they going to hit it lucky? High School Musical? Who really expected this franchise to take off when it started out as a TV movie. The various merchandise and associated shills have raked in big money and now High School Musical 3 hits the theatres and delivers an enormous weekend, destroying Saw V in the process. Keep in mind Disney also had Beverly Hills Chihuahua pulling down some very impressive numbers this month. I'll never see either film but hey, someone did!
Biggest Loser of the Month: This might seem harsh but in terms of failing Ridley Scott probably selected the wrong subject material for Body of Lies. People are not enjoying the Middle-East/CIA thrillers and they're not drawing big numbers. So making the movie with not one but two Hollywood A-listers was asking for financial trouble. Body of Lies hasn't gotten halfway to regaining its budget as yet and it's unlikely to do so. I think Nottingham will probably fare better though.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: I was personally quite stunned by Megaplex Theaters in Utah refusing to show Zack and Miri Make a Porno saying it had "crossed the line". Are they serious? Are people in Utah really that sensitive that they can't take a bit of bad language and a parody of a porn film? Next they'll be trying to ban the internet! Or do they still regard computers as witchcraft in that part of the States? You'll notice the same cinema chain had zero problems screening the uber-violent Saw series. Double standards there I think. So, it's ok to show people being decapitated and tortured but sex and nudity is offensive? Who are the people that make these ludicrous decisions? And can they please fuck off and stop interfering in other people's lives?
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month:Quantum of Solace. I was going to go for something else just so Owain owed me a pint but I didn't see anything that tickled my fancy. If it's half as good as Casino Royale it'll be well worth the cinema trip. With the dust settled on the last film I think it's safe to say it will be regarded as one of the best Bond films ever made. Looking forward to the new one.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month:Wall-E is out this month. Can't go wrong with Pixar.
Classic Movie of the Month:Gojira (1954). During the Halloween season it's always nice to re-visit old horror classics and I had a few days of Godzilla worship this year mixed in with the Exorcist. Gojira is a really fun monster movie and the footage of the big green monster smashing up Tokyo is way ahead of its time.
Movie Quote of the Month: "She got hundreds of fire arms into my apartment, she added $750,000 to my bank account, she helped me escape from a high security holding in the FBI in a way I'm not even going to try to explain because it sounds so crazy, and she called the phone of a stranger sitting next to me on a bus, I'd never even seen the guy before in my life. Yeah, I'm pretty sure she can derail a train. She could turn a train into a talking duck if she wanted to" – shit gets real for Jerry Shaw (Shia LeBeouf) in Eagle Eye.
Rick Tym
Biggest Winner of the Month: Christopher Nolan. Recently the acclaimed Dark Knight director took a break from his, um, vacation and spoke a bit about returning to do a third installment. But when asked about the inclusion of the Batman character the Nolans and Goyer have established in the planned Justice League movie, Nolan balked, explaining that in their Gotham, superheroes did not exist and Bruce Wayne "invents himself as a totally original creation." Specifically, Nolan said "I don't think our Batman, our Gotham, lends itself to that kind of cross-fertilization." He particularly emphasized "our" while giving his reply. While many are already crying out to let the Justice League conspirators use Nolan's incarnation of the world's greatest detective, I am extremely pleased to see him standing his ground and protecting his intellectual property. After all, it was his, his brother's and Goyer's efforts (along with unnamed thousands of support personnel, to be sure) that brought us Begins and Knight, the best one-two punch superhero reboot in the history of superhero reboots. They have great respect for the source material while putting their own unique spin on Batman, his antagonists and Gotham itself. It's nice to see them protect their creation, and if I may be so bold I think it's a bit more than that. Nolan and Co. know that the proposed Justice League movie will be more along the lines of a CW or MyNetworkTV original teen soap series, and they don't want their hero playing a grumpy grandpa to a bunch of wisecracking superhero youths, which will not only compromise their artistic vision but also waste the opportunity of what could have been (and hopefully still can be, sometime in the distant future) a great Justice League of America movie.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Uptight Americans. Originally I was going to go with uptight multiplex owners, but after watching the World Series last week (congrats Philly Phans!) I decided to expand the selection a little bit. I know that I'm watching baseball in primetime and, more likely than not, so are younger viewers all across the nation—especially Game 5, where there were only 3½ innings necessary for the Phillies to clinch it, meaning we would all actually get to bed before midnight. An ad comes on for Zack and Miri and it's relatively tame, which I have no problem at all with - us Kevin Smith fans know what's in store and have probably already seen the red-band trailer online anyway. But notice the title. What happened to the Make a Porno part? Okay, okay, I know what's going on—and to an extent I can accept this bit of family-friendly editing. As I just said, we all know what to expect, the title doesn't need to be spelled out for the adults and I guess a bit of sanitation keeps the kiddies safe. But I have to play devil's advocate and wonder aloud (or in print, I guess) why exactly our nation's youth cannot see the word "porno" in a movie's title card, but can hear the word "erection" spoken approximately 2,182 times in commercials aired during a major league broadcast? I can only hope that the PTC is not reading this column, otherwise all of those middle-aged men out there might soon be prevented from knowing the wonders of Cialis, whose side effects may include dizziness, nausea, heart attack and institution of the dreaded "four-hour rule." I go back and forth on the issue of free speech in my head approximately 4,364 times when I consider such societal quirks, and all the while our friends over the pond just laugh and laugh at our uptight American ways.
And don't even get me started on that Utah multiplex that refuses to show Zach and Miri Make a Porno but can show the latest Saw film. I see how it works. Sadistic torture, blood and guts, okay. Simulated sex and nudity, the word "porno," oh no!!! Give me a $#%ing break. At first I was going to suggest they just put Zach and Miri on the marquee and be done with it. But they don't even want to show the film at all and now I'm thinking anyone who goes out to protest should do so in support of the movie and not the other way around. Surely there are adults in the area who want to see the film and can't because of this banning. Kevin Smith should make big glittery signs like he did for the Dogma protests he attended in Jersey, and make sure the dreaded P-word is prominently displayed. The he should go to Utah, find these adult fans and stage his own little display of support. That would be some fun publicity footage.
[Editor's note: congrats to Rick for the longest rant I can remember in recent roundtable history!]
Biggest Movie News of the Month: Mark Millar's Superman plans. I think his three-part plan for a Superman epic that documents the origins of the Man of Steel and ends with him on an empty Earth as the sun supernovas, losing his powers, is brilliant. A lot of readers have expressed their disdain for some columnists' views on the possible potholes in the road to a "dark" Superman movie, stating that the man in red and blue need not go all emo or psychotic in order to tell a grimmer tale, canonical or not. This is a perfect example of their very valid opinions. Even more than Millar's intended take I am interested in Warner Bros. reception to it as he begins to shop it around the studio, and look forward to seeing if the Warner execs have the grapefruits to pull the trigger on such an ambitious idea.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: I almost went with Fanboys, not only because it's been coming out for like fifteen years now but also because Owain said he would buy us all a pint if everyone didn't list Quantum of Solace as the flick they're most looking forward to. I'm sure I'll see Fanboys (finally) but am worried about how many compromises and edits were made to what seemed to be quite a fun and warm concept. Milk will be as great as Sean Penn manages to be in it but I just have to be in a certain kind of mood for such serious fare. Never read Twilight and probably never will, so the film adaptation may get put in the rental queue someday simply because I like vampire stories. So, yeah, I can't do it just to be different or for the sake of free booze - Quantum of Solace, if even half as good as the Bond Casino Royale reboot, is my most anticipated movie of the month.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: Disney's Wall-E. I saw this at the drive-in and was captivated during the film's first half, watching this lonely little robot on a forgotten, trashed Earth, only a cockroach, Hello Dolly! and his collection of human artifacts to keep him company. At first I thought I didn't enjoy the second half as much, but all the delightful parts (such as the escaped robot crew) mixed with the social commentary kept weaving though my head. I can't wait to add this to my collection and let my appreciation grow for this legitimate masterpiece. Also, I am looking forward to seeing this again in better clarity - the drive-in, while conducive for stretching, snuggling and a cheap double feature, does not provide the best picture quality available. Especially if your local screen just happens to be missing a few concrete sections.
Classic Movie of the Month: In what is hopefully the wake of Kevin Smith's greatest box office success to date with Zach and Miri Make a Porno, I'll go into the vault and pull out what many consider to be his least worthy film, Mallrats (I know more people despise Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, but that was more of a film made for the fans than a "real" motion picture, so work with me here). Although it suffers from sophomore slump and a misused bigger budget than his directorial debut, Mallrats has aged well as a simply fun film, and also had the added benefit of Kevin Smith being forced to go back to the drawing board (so to speak) and follow up with his best film to date, Chasing Amy. Check out the special edition DVD if you can, which features a longer but more cohesive version of the theatrical release.
Movie Quote of the Month: "One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck up his ass. True story. He bought it at our local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all, but next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with another trip to the emergency room. So, I run into him a week later in the mall and he's buying another cat. And I says to him, 'Jesus, Walt! What are you doing? You know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too. Why don't you knock it off?' And he said to me, 'Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?' My cousin was a weird guy." - Brodie, opening lines of Mallrats
Shawn S. Lealos
Biggest Winner of the Month:High School Musical 3 - If you read my review, you know I liked this movie. It is a really fun musical with fantastic dance numbers. It is also not marketed towards me, so that tells me it did something right. A $42 million opening weekend also says it did something right. I argued in my review that the musical is something everyone should be able to enjoy and thanks to a large number of pre-teens and their mothers, we might get some more musicals coming down the line in the future.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Oliver Stone. I think this is really bad because W. is a great movie. However, released sooner than it should have been to hit on the election crowds it failed to reach its target crowd. $18 million for a movie of this magnitude is pathetic. Max Payne has made more money, and while I haven't seen it I am sure W. is a better movie. Stone deserves better than what this movie has gotten at the box office and I can only hope that awards season brings it back to the public eye. So far, Josh Brolin is my pick for Best Actor with only two months left to go this year.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: Terrence Howard replaced for Iron Man 2. Why? I mean, I like Don Cheadle, but last I heard Howard was excited to be War Machine! Howard is a great actor and the fact that he was replaced without being told why is bullshit. Nothing against Cheadle, but Howard did nothing to deserve being axed. It's not like he's Katie Holmes.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month:Quantum of Solace: I loved the reboot of the James Bond franchise. After twenty movies you would have thought there was nothing new under the sun. Then they cast Daniel Craig, make the action and visuals grittier and we have an all new James Bond. I like Pierce Brosnan but felt his contribution to the franchise became a little too over-the-top and I am glad to see the series grounded a little more. This second Craig effort will be picking up where the last left off and I cannot wait to continue this adventure.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month:Wall-E: Pixar continues to prove they are the masters at the modern day animated film. In this case, they take an idea that should never have worked - a kid's movie about a robot with sparse dialogue and make one of the most beautiful, endearing animated films in a long time. It's going to be boring and the kids will get bored with it was all I heard before it was released. Proves that nobody knows nothing anymore - except Pixar.
Classic Movie of the Month:JFK - I was discouraged to hear one of our commenters compare JFK to Oliver Stone taking a crap. JFK is, without a shadow of a doubt, a true masterpiece of American cinema. With the release of W. this month, I think it is time to step back and take a look at this amazing film once again. In a career full of defining moments, I still believe it is this film that is the true highlight in the career of Oliver Stone.
Movie Quote of the Month: "Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, "Why have you done this to me?" And the snake answered, "Look, bitch, you knew I was a snake." - Natural Born Killers
Bryan Kristopowitz
Biggest Winner of the Month: Twisted Pictures and Lionsgate for still having a $30 million Saw V opening weekend despite going head-to-head with the High School Musical 3 box office juggernaut. That's pretty dang impressive, considering it's the fifth movie in a horror franchise. How often does that happen these days? Not often.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Terrence Howard, for being removed from the upcoming Iron Man sequel. Howard was likely going to have a much larger role in the second flick, which would have meant more exposure and a higher profile. So what the heck is he going to do now? We all know what Don Cheadle is going to be doing. He's going to be in Iron Man 2.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: Again, Terrence Howard being removed from the upcoming Iron Man sequel and being replaced by Don Cheadle. A big plus for Don, not so much for Howard.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month:Transporter 3, easily. And Quantum of Solace, too. I'm a total Bond nerd, sure, but I really need to see Casino Royale before QoS.
Recommended DVD Release of the Month:Hellboy II: The Golden Army will be coming out. And George Carlin's last HBO comedy special It's Bad for Ya also comes out.
Classic Movie of the Month:The Enforcer (1976): Clint Eastwood returns to the Dirty Harry franchise for the third time, with Inspector Callahan teaming up with new Inspector Kate Moore (a thin Tyne Daly) taking on a band of radical left wing hoodlums (The People's Revolutionary Strike Force) who kidnap the mayor of San Francisco and hole up in Alcatraz. Features Dirty Harry blowing a guy up with a rocket launcher. They don't make cop flicks like this anymore.
Movie Quote of the Month: Lt. Dobbs: "Are you finished with the questioning, Callahan?"
Harry Callahan: "Hypothetical situation, huh? All right, I'm standing on the street corner, and Mrs. Grey there comes up and propositions me. She says if I come home with her, for $5 she'll put on an exhibition with a Shetland pony..."
Mrs. Grey: "If this is your idea of humor, Inspector..."
Lt. Dobbs: "All right, what are you trying to do here, Callahan?"
Harry Callahan: "I'm just trying to find out if anybody in this room knows what the hell law is being broken, besides cruelty to animals."
Will MacMillan (Lt. Dobbs), Jan Stratton (Mrs. Grey), and Clint Eastwood ("Dirty" Harry Callahan) - The Enforcer (1976)
Jason Chamberlain
Biggest Winner of the Month: Well, Disney did have a real big hit with that third high school song and dance thing. Not my thing, and it wouldn't have been when I was in the target audience either, but there's no accounting for taste, to each their own, takes different strokes to rule the world, yadda yadda yadda.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Terrence Howard for being booted from Iron Man 2. Man, I hate recasts like this! Nothing against Don Cheadle, he's a bad bad man, but what was wrong with Terrence? There's a lot to be said for continuity, and though I suppose you can more forgiving with it in a comic book movie (after all, characters are drawn differently over the years) I say, if it ain't broke don't fix it. And Terrence Howard gives off more of a War Machine vibe than the Cheadle, IMO.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: For me it's the fact that some Toolplex in Utah deemed Zack and Miri Make a Porno too offensive to show. It's asinine, and kind of disturbing, that it's acceptable to watch a movie like Saw where people are killed and brutalized (with no cut aways), but it's not acceptable to see people have sex (with cut aways, because it's not an actual porno). But even if it was a real porno, for that matter, it would be asinine. What's a more natural, acceptable and human occurrence; two people having sex, or a guy in a mask torturing and killing an innocent person? I don't want to meet the person who chooses the latter, and yet that's the message we're getting here. Unbelievable.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month:Quantum of Solace!!! Casino Royale was just fantastic, Daniel Craig kicked ass and I can't wait to see his second go around as the world's ultimate spy. Picking up as a direct sequel from the previous film, we get to see Bond go straight to the source in his quest to avenge his doomed love Vesper Lynd. Are we dealing with S.P.E.C.T.R.E. here? How hot is the Bond girl? How badass is Bond's car in this one? These are the questions I need answered!
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: I'd recommend Get Smart. Really funny, some great action and Anne Hathaway is really, really hot.
Classic Movie of the Month: It's not a movie, and it's a little late, but check out Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'. The best music video of all time and the perfect way to celebrate Halloween.
Movie Quote of the Month: "I've got a little itch, would you mind? No, to the right! To the right! Yes! Now the whole world's gonna know that you died scratching my balls!" – In a scene that would make any guy wear a jock for the rest of his life, Bond is brutally tortured by Le Chiffre, but still gets a dig in (Casino Royale)
Jeremy Thomas
Biggest Winner of the Month: Unbelievably, Disney. Beverly Hills Chihuahua and High School Musical 3 have been huge for the studio and have grossed between them a total of $128 million with little investment. Of course, the winning here means a loss for anyone who actually enjoys quality films, but them's the breaks.
Biggest Loser of the Month: Unfortunately, Simon Pegg. How to Lose Friends and Alienate people was dead on arrival in movie theaters, and the $28 million film has grossed less than $3 million domestically. While I haven't seen it yet, I think this is by and large a tragedy, because Pegg's work has been so good to date and his last project, the remarkably funny Run Fatboy, Run similarly underperformed in March. Well, at least he has the mega-box office of Star Trek coming up to bolster his drawing power cred.
Biggest Movie News of the Month: The fact that Marvel managed to tie Robert Downey Jr., Jon Favreau and Don Cheadle down for not only Iron Man 2, but Avengers and Iron Man 3 is huge. Downey will of course be playing Tony Stark, Cheadle will be stepping in to take on Rhodey, and Favreau will direct the Iron Mans and produce The Avengers. This was an essential step for Marvel to take in order to ensure quality films, and it's great to see they got it done.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Without a doubt, Quantum of Solace. I mean hell, even if for some ungodly reason you didn't like Casino Royale or otherwise inexplicably expect the new Bond film to suck, you should go see it because the next Watchman trailer is debuting there. YES!
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: It's a tough call for me, but as much as I enjoyed Kung Fu Panda and Hellboy II, I have yet to see WALL-E, so it's my one to see. For recommendations of those I HAVE seen, I gotta go with the Panda.
Classic Movie of the Month: Since it's a Bond month, I'm going with my personal favorite that doesn't star Craig. That would be Goldeneye, which features Pierce Brosnan's first outing as Bond - before he looked like he was sleepwalking through the film - Famke Janssen as the ridiculously hot Xenia Onatopp, and Sean Bean as my favorite Bond villain to date, Alec "006" Trevelyan. Oh, and it was also directed by Martin Campbell, the guy behind Casino Royale. Good times.
Movie Quote of the Month: "We are having a pleasant drive in the country and you got to bring psychology into it."
"Well, I was just sent here to evaluate you."
"Yeah, well, let's try and put that behind us, shall we?"
James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) and Caroline (Serena Gordon), Goldeneye
Owain J. Brimfield
Biggest Winner of the Month: Tweens everywhere, who have another slice of High School Musical to fill their already bloated entertainment diets. Seriously, if they find some way to do a HSM / Hannah Montana crossover the world's 9-12 female population may spontaneously combust. The question remains, how long can Disney feasibly keep turning these things out before they have to resort to High School Musical: The New Class? Betting begins!
Biggest Loser of the Month: Republicans. LOL!
Biggest Movie News of the Month: I wasn't actually as surpised as everyone else when that cinema blocked the Kevin Smith movie. It's Utah for christ's sake, they'd probably ban ME just for writing this sentence with all its blasphemy. I'm going to go with the word that the upcoming Terminator 4 has finished shooting and entered post-production, with early word sneaking out that it's actually looking likely to defy McG's reputation and be a decent entry into the series. I'm really hopeful they won't screw this up, T3 was surprisingly decent and fit neatly into the canon of the franchise and the war against Skynet has tons of potential.
Your Most Anticipated Movie of the Month: Easily Bond. The theme tune is shit though. They should have used this:
Recommended DVD Release of the Month: Has to be WALL-E; even though I wasn't as completely charmed as the rest of the moviegoing universe, it'll be worth buying the DVD simply for the animated short Presto! that features before the main attraction, one of the greatest short cartoons since the golden days of The Pink Panther and Tom & Jerry.
Classic Movie of the Month: Since we're all in Bond mood here at 411 HQ, let's go with a classic from that enduring franchise. Jeremy has already snagged my favourite Bond for his choice, so I'll go with The Spy Who Loved Me, proof that Roger Moore isn't as bad as everyone remembers and one of the suavest spy flicks ever made. And one of the greatest Bond themes too! We haven't had a great one since 'A View to a Kill', and not a good one since 'Goldeneye'. Amy Winehouse couldn't have done a much worse job than Keys and White.
Movie Quote of the Month: "But James, I need you!" / "So does England." - one liners don't get better than that beauty from, The Spy Who Loved Me
