Series Link 12.02.08: Critters

Posted by Arnold Furious on 12.02.2008

Because the Opper brothers need work!

Series Link #9: Critters

Because the Opper brothers need work!

SERIES LINK

Or Furious on Franchises…wish I'd thought of that 6 months ago.

Quick shill to start with...for The Dukes, Robert Davi's latest movie and his first as director. Also stars Chazz Palminteri. Reviews have been a mixed bag but it sounds like my kinda movie. After all; who doesn't want to see Special Agent Johnson crooning with Chazz Palminteri (especially as the latter is obsessed with "plus size women"). Check it out.

Frequently when reviewing movies I notice I'm missing sequels here and there from classic series. In line with one of my key film watching beliefs I'll be making a point of tidying up some of my sequel history. The belief in question being that as long as I enjoyed the original I'll watch any sequel made of it. I don't know where this belief came from but it's one that seems to work out for me quite frequently and there are many film series where I have enjoyed multiple sequels based on my love and respect for the initial instalment (Alien, Lethal Weapon, Die Hard, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Rocky etc).

Series Link #1 – The Pink Panther
Series Link #2 – The Road To…
Series Link #3 – Planet of the Apes
Series Link #4 – St. Trinian's
Series Link #5 – Jaws
Series Link #6 – A Nightmare on Elm Street
Series Link #7 – Norman Wisdom
Series Link #8 – The Exorcist

Plus don't forget to check out my blog here where I throw quickfire reviews up whenever possible. Like Furious on Film. Only much quicker and less frequently.

For this ninth column I'll be taking a look at an 80's phenomenon. When Gremlins (1984) was released to huge financial success ($153M) various producers started looking at possible copycat ideas. Movies they could make on the cheap with fuzzy aliens as the lead. Ominous but cute looking bad guys that kids might actually enjoy rather than fear. And the most prevalent and best done of these knock-off's was 1986's Critters. So much so it spawned a four part franchise. Gremlins only managed one sequel.

Penned by production assistant Dominic Muir, Critters was the first film directed by Stephen Herek (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure). I was about 11 when I first saw Critters and I've loved the movie ever since. I've not seen any of the movies in a long, long time. Time for the series to feature in Series Link!

Series Link #9:

Critters

How many films?

Four

Starring?

Dee Wallace, M. Emmet Walsh, Keith Don Opper (4 times), Terence Mann (4 times), Scott Grimes (2 times), Billy Zane, Aimee Brooks, Leonardo DiCaprio, Angela Bassett, Brad Dourif.

Directed by?

Stephen Herek, Mick Garris, Kristine Peterson, Rupert Harvey

Series Span:

Just 5 years. 1986-1991.

Critters (1986)



TRAILER –



In Critters we are introduced to the "Krites"; a race of space vermin who feed on anything they can get. In the beginning eight Krites are on their way to Space Prison when they escape and head for the lush planet Earth. In pursuit are two faceless renegade bounty hunters who are after the reward. This cosmic calamity is about to go down in the small town of Grover's Bend in Kansas (which has the defining look of Backwater, USA) and specifically at the farm house of the Brown family. One of the bounty hunters (Terrence Mann) decides he likes the look of rock singer Johnny Steele and changes his face to look like him. The town don't seem well prepared to deal with alien invaders. The law consists of two cops. One of which is aging police chief Harv (M. Emmet Walsh). The only prospective hero, outside of Mr Brown (Billy Green Bush) himself, is local loser drunkard Charlie (Keith Don Opper). The Brown daughter's sports car driving ponytailed boyfriend (Billy Zane) is the only other strong male player. Most of the film plays from the perspective of the Brown's family son Brad (Scott Grimes). ET & Halloween's Dee Wallace provides some much needed star power as the Brown family mother.

Critters is such a throwback. The kid even has a slingshot. Everyone has an "aw shucks" small town mentality and it's a deliberate attempt to mimic the great vibe that Gremlins has. Of course Gremlins also had a better cast and great direction from Joe Dante. But Critters does well to set a ‘50's feeling in it's sci-fi. Even more so than Gremlins. The low budget special effects aren't as ridiculous as in some other low budget sci-fi's as they keep the visuals to a bare minimum in favour of some decent spaceship effects shown from a distance. It's a smart approach. As is the lengthy delay on introducing the creatures. Which is probably why most people remember Critters with great fondness. The Krites themselves are the stars of the piece. They're deliberately set up as comedy characters with their own silly language. It's more Gremlins 2: The New Batch than Gremlins. Perhaps that's unfair. It's somewhere in between. While most of Critters has its basis in theft/homage it's sense of humour allows it to be a slightly more original, if ludicrous, copycat compared to some other knock off's. Roger Ebert suggested it was a good movie because of how much fun it looked to make. And that is true. The cast seem to be having a great time with a very silly concept.

Another thing going in Critters favour is they play on the strengths of the Krites (which are essentially furry black balls with teeth) by having them eliminate the strongest human characters first. It's like in wrestling. If you want a new guy to look like a contender you have him beat someone important, big or tough. Early Krite casualties are mostly flukes. Meanwhile the incompetent bounty hunter duo go around town shooting the place up. Anything they consider a threat gets both barrels; including church organs and TV sets. The movie does have a distinctly Spielbergian feel to it although it's far more rushed than any of his efforts, even the low budget ones. I have fond memories of the film and most of them remain intact after re-watching it.

BEST BIT – "They have weapons".

Critters 2: The Main Course (1988)



TRAILER –



The ending of Critters left a handy opening for anyone wanting to do a sequel; the final shot shows "Critter eggs" in the henhouse. This easy opening provided the basis for a script penned by the now well known scribe David Twohy. Like most writers he started out penning a sequel to a B-Movie horror. His next picture after this was Warlock so he stepped up pretty quickly. He went on to write the Fugitive and Pitch Black! Director here is Mick Garris; who had been a bit of a Spielberg protégé working for him on Amazing Stories for two years prior to this. After Critters 2 he made Psycho IV and adapted Stephen King's The Stand for a mini-series. Most of the talented actors from Critters opted out of the sequel. Brad (Scott Grimes) had his entire family written out of the plot by saying they'd simply moved and he was back in Grover's Bend to visit his grandmother. M. Emmet Walsh didn't want to come back either and got replaced (BOOOO) by Barry Corbin (YAAAY). They do benefit from the returning bounty hunter Terrence Mann and local dimwit Charlie (Don Opper) who's now become a bounty hunter as well.

The best thing I can find to say about Critters 2 is that it has tits in it. These come from Roxanne Kernohan; the shape shifting ‘other' bounty hunter Lee who can't quite decide on a face. Luckily for Terrence Mann his bounty hunter has retained his appearance from the first film. Kernohan's buxom contribution to Critters 2 is the films most memorable moment in what is essentially a re-hash of the original Critters. The plot sees local hicks mistaking Critter eggs for Easter Eggs. The film lacks the wit and charm of the original and isn't helped by Scott Grimes growing into an irritating teenager between 1 and 2. At least he's redeemed himself somewhat nowadays by playing Steve Smith in American Dad. The reliance on eggs in Critters 2 makes it rather more of a Gremlins rip-off than the first film. Where it falls short on Spielbergian comedy and small town vibe it does have a larger gore quotient, which was more satisfying for some sections of the horror community.

Some of the production is pretty lousy. The first thing that really jumped out at me was the fact that Brad has a picture of himself and Charlie, which is a still from the first film. They couldn't mock up a photo? The standard of acting is significantly lower in this film too although you can't really expect miracles on a budget. David Ursin is spectacularly awful though and Tom Hodges is almost as bad. I know they're not major roles and this is a small film but if you need examples of poor acting performances they're here to be seen. Ursin makes a particularly hammy job of playing the sheriff/Easter Bunny. The Gremlins rip off's continue throughout like the scene in the diner, which looks like it's come right out of a Gremlins movie or the scene in the kitchen with the grandmother assuming the maternal role.

Critters 2 was a noticeable step down in quality from the first Critters movie. It doesn't have the tension, humour or terror of the first film. Because it's lacking in so many key areas it can only really appeal to the lowest common denominators by showing skin and having more blood. It's passable and has a few funny moments but there's a feeling the series has already gone south by part two and the film's failure at the box office reflected that. There are worse ways to spend 90 minutes but I wouldn't recommend it unless you're under 18 or just in need of the nostalgia kick.

BEST BIT – Critters Vs the Hungry Heifer.



Critters 3 (1991)



TRAILER –



Critters 3 had the subtitle in the USA of "You Are What They Eat". The director here is Tremors assistant director Kristine Peterson. The double whammy of Critters 3 & 4 was the brainchild of producer Rupert Harvey who decided he could write and penned both films. He was helped in the process by series star Don Opper…who blatantly needed work by this point. Although having him back is a bonus. Also returning is Terrence Mann as Ug, the Bounty Hunter (albeit for about 3 minutes…all in the end credits). The rest of the cast is padded out by relatively poor or inexperienced actors like star Aimee Brooks, retired actress turned casting director Nina Axelrod (who presumably couldn't find anyone else who was good enough) and Leonardo DiCaprio in his inauspicious feature film debut. He was barely on Growing Pains at this point and Gilbert Grape is still two years off.

The venue changes in Critters 3 from small town Grover's Bend to the big city…yanno exactly like in Gremlins 2. I know the series is far from original but it kinda felt like it was reaching a bit here. We start off following a family on their way to Los Angeles where they run into the Critters and the returning Charlie (Don Opper) who's turned into even more of a lunatic. Production values have slacked off badly since part two and it feels like it has no budget and was direct to video, which it was! The most obvious topic of conversation here is DiCaprio and if you think he looks 12 now you should see him in this movie. He's like 16-17 and he looks about 11 at the most. Despite this he's still by far the best actor in the film. Everyone else is SHOCKING. Geoffrey Blake is perhaps the worst culprit as sleazy idiot Frank. His only career highlight was playing Jenny's sleazy boyfriend in Forest Gump. I'm fairly certain Forest punched him. And on this showing I don't blame him. Oh, another acting highlight is Frances Bay; Happy Gilmore's grandmother, who does a great line in cute little old ladies. Another weird connection is her onscreen husband Bill Zuckert who played Ray Finkle's Dad in Ace Ventura.

Critters 3 isn't much of a viewing experience. It barely makes it up to 80 minutes and feels stretched to get that far. And despite this it takes 26 minutes to get a Krite onscreen as one jumps Frank in the laundry room. I was impressed that the Critters franchise once again swiftly picked off its worst actor in short order. Even if the entire fight looked SO fake. Like a guy wrestling a plastic alligator. It's not biting him. He's holding the damn thing against him. The Gremlins rip-off's are even more obvious during Critters 3. The main Krite is given a bleached scar…like Stripe. The low, low budget gives us an apartment block over Gremlins 2's skyscraper but the premise remains the same. The lack of budget cripples the usually average Critters special effects and leaves us with totally immobile bad guys who stand there rather than attack. This is a huge flaw as it makes the Krites seem far less dangerous. They're slow, they're stupid and they're easily distracted. Much like the Gremlins in the New Batch. They also seem far less obsessed with eating, which was the main Krite habit forming characteristic in the first two films; they're hungry so they eat everything. In Critters 3 they'd much rather goof around than chase humans or eat anything else or avoid danger. And because Critters 3 is so incredibly flawed at the most basic level it utterly fails as a sequel. It is cheesy as hell though and would probably make a decent watch for a bunch of stoners or a group of drunks.

Critters 4: They're Invading Your Space (1991)



TRAILER –



For this fourth, and to date final, Critters movie producer Rupert Harvey decided not only to write the movie with star Don Opper's brother Barry but also to take up the directorial reigns. Uh oh. The film is instantly an Alien rip-off without even trying (crew of space bums find alien life form, company wants it as a weapon, alien hunts the crew etc). The pod launched at the end of Critters 3, plus Charlie (Don Opper) who accidentally fell into it, falls into the hands of a band of salvagers. These include the unscrupulous leader Rick (Anders Hove), Fran (Angela Bassett) and Al Bert (sequel whore Brad Dourif). Yes, that is his characters name. Shocking. The special effects are entirely an Alien rip-off too. Right down to the way the ship shakes. Of course the Critters films all begin in space so it's not as bad as Moonraker, or Jason X where they take normal characters and blast them into space to freshen things up a bit. It also borrows bits of footage from 1982's Android starring Klaus Kinski, which also happened to feature one Don Keith Opper! It's a small world.

Like Alien, you'll hear that a lot about this film, it starts off slowly in order to introduce the characters slowly and surely and magnify how big and boring space is. This follows the original Critters plot too. Build some characters before people start getting picked off. Although the script is horrible, derivative and predictable it's still better than Critters 3. Maybe it's the pre-fame Angela Bassett that makes it so passable. Although her naked butt belongs to a body double in the shower scene. Brad Dourif is also a lot of fun although he's always been good even as a B-level star before getting a bit of recognition in the Lord of the Ring trilogy. Here he actually plays a LIKEABLE character! How about that for a switch? He plays second fiddle to the far sleazier Rick…who oddly enough plays the character a lot like Brad Dourif's performance in Exorcist III. Rick is as much of a threat to his crew as the Krites although the plot for the opening 30-40 minutes could be any sci-fi movie as the script seems to forget the Krites are even there. Charlie finally re-emerges from stasis at 34 minutes in. "Aw, I'm in space aren't I?"

Critters has always been a comedy-horror series and Critters 4 starts off a little short of laughs but matters change. There is a nice scene in the refuse tube, which could have come out of Dark Star. "If you were not waste, you would not be in the refuse tube" mutters the wacky onboard computer Angela. "I am not sequenced to respond to the demands of waste". Also just afterwards Charlie has taken his shoes and socks off and is making fists with his feet in a nice little tribute to Die Hard. Unfortunately this segues into Charlie's realisation he's been frozen in stasis for 53 years, which is a lift from Aliens.

The main complaint about Critters 4 is that is largely disregards the continuity of the series and the fun of the opening film. Mainly because Ug (Terrence Mann) has somehow changed in head of the council Tetra. He mysteriously says that "things change" to Charlie but its never explained why he's now a gigantic space asshole. By the time Tetra and his "stormtroopers" arrive at the 75 minute mark the film has gone south anyway but its Ug's nonsensical and unexplained heel turn that cements the downfall of the second half. Critters 4 is actually pretty good fun for about 50-60 minutes, which puts it around the same level as Critters 3 only with better actors. Critters 4 sadly gets progressively worse after a bright start.

RATINGS

Critters ***1/2
Critters 2: The Main Course **
Critters 3 *
Critters 4 *1/2

Box Office

Critters $13.1M
Critters 2: The Main Course $3.8M
Critters 3 (straight to video)
Critters 4 (straight to video)

The 411 –

I'm very thankful that Critters still holds up. It retains the comedy and horror aspects while using tension very capably. The sequels are of varying degrees of awful. The second one isn't as good as I remember but the 4th one is somewhat better. I don't remember it being good before it went bad. 3 is probably the worst of the bunch as it seems the aim of the team involved in it to make the entire concept into a laughing stock. What originally appealed about the Critters franchise was that it was darker and more adult than the Gremlins franchise. In retrospect the first Gremlins is actually on a par with any of the Critters movies in terms of darkness. Yes, Critters retains the adult edge, even able to rip-off Alien for their final outing, but was far less popular. I'm glad I looked back at the series but while all the sequels have their moments none of them are actually any good. Luckily, as I said before, the original does still hold up though.