An Introduction To Film 10.21.03: Chapter 2
Posted by Jay Bower on 10.21.2003
Halloween, Arnold, Hitchcock and a look at the secret sequel to E.T. that never materialized...
An Introduction To Film : Chapter 2.
Whereas the Jay Bower of yore would have spastically began a column with all capital letters and a "hey there", allow me to simply say welcome back and thank you for once again choosing "An Introduction to Film".
Apologies are in order for missing last Tuesday. I wish I had any semblance of a noble reason for my absence, but truth be told, after we (The Florida State Seminoles) played a horrible game and lost to the Miami Hurricanes last Saturday, I celebrated like the rest of the student body did. And in a school where a nation high 52% of the students are considered binge drinkers, I think you know what I mean. To make a long story short, I drank from 12:30pm until about 3:30am on Saturday night, threw up a half dozen times and woke up in the very uncomfortable bathtub shaped death bed at 6:00pm on Sunday feeling like I had plutonium in my stomach. I say this not to boast as there is certainly nothing glamorous about waking up covered in one's own vomit, but to warn my young, impressionable readers that it's not something I would recommend and I'm lucky I ended up with minor alcohol poisoning rather than a major case of death. Regardless, we beat Virginia this weekend and the hot-of-the-presses BCS ranked us as #5 in the nation tonight, ahead of Ohio State. Miami ranked at #2, but after Virginia Tech --a far superior team-- hands them their asses things should get interesting. Anyway, moving on.
For first time readers who may have missed last weeks Chapter 1, allow me to quickly explain the theme of this column. I know absolutely nothing about film, and I would guess that three out of every four lads and lassies skimming this article don't either. You are probably dim, likely uncultured ruffians here for the rasslin' whose idea of a good cinematic experience involves Bikini Carwash 3 and a vat of popcorn butter. I'm with you, so together we're going to learn a thing or two about film, talk about screenwriting, review the Hollywood news and examine another film as a part of the HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN!
Let's began shall we.
The Hollywood Wire:
In irrefutable proof that our country has gone completely and totally insane, Arnold Schwarzenegger was not only easily elected Governor of California in a Three-Ring Election, but brought record numbers of deadbeat voters to the polls. Though a good number of smart citizens who normally wouldn't have voted rushed out of their houses and pounded some chads in order to do everything in their power to keep Arnold from actually attaining office, it was for naught as he won decisively. Let's recap this one more time. Voters not only chose the star of Kindergarten Cop to control one of the largest economies in the world, but they rushed the polls to do so. "It's not a tummmmor!". Though it's cliché, they chose a man who can't even properly pronounce the name of the state he is now governing to turn things around in a Mecca where businesses are leaving and prices are at nationwide highs.
If nary a Californian is reading this who voted for Arnold, I would kill for some semblance of an explanation as to what was going through your head. You, as Californians, have had it harder than almost any of us in the last few years with an energy crisis and illegal immigration lapping up your tax dollars as though they were a delicious ramekin of pintos and cheese. Surely of all people, you must want a leader who you can rely on to turn your fortunes around. What in God's name was going through your head when you stepped into that voting booth? He saved the world from evil robots in The Terminator, so I'll gladly let him dictate what to do with a large percentage of my income! Come on now.
Though it's trendy for smarmy doofuses to bash Arnold because of his accent, wild orgies, drug history, loose alliances with the Nazi party and generally lecherous behavior, I don't hold it against him. In fact, I think a large part of Bill Clinton's appeal was that the common man could relate to him. However, what I do hold against him is the fact that not once during his campaign did he address a single policy that he stood for. Sure he mentioned some broad things here or there, but for the most part you elected Arnold because he claimed he could make California a better state. He's going to work with other governors of border states in an effort to tighten the border. If the summit doesn't turn into a boisterous orgy first, I don't know how anyone can seriously think that Arnold is going to solve a problem that has been virtually unsolvable for about twenty years now. The new governor of California touts high environmental morals and drives a Hummer, probably the single least fuel efficient car ever manufactured. When confronted about this issue by Bill O'Reilly, Arnold struck a facial expression which said that he was just now realizing for the first time that an environmental activist shouldn't be driving a vehicle that puts a sunroof in the ozone every time he cranks it up. I'm not sure if any of you follow the Bible, but watch any speech Arnold gives and then read the passage in Revelations about the Anti-Christ rising to power.
Didn't it strike you as a little odd when Arnold flat out refused to debate Gray Davis about a dozen times? Anyone want to take a stab as to why that was? It's because he has absolutely NO qualifications to run the largest state in the most powerful nation in the world. Literally absolutely none. Just watching his campaign progress was like watching a child who did something he shouldn't in first period at school. Arnold "got away with it" through second period, up to lunch, until the last period. In the days before the election you could sense that he couldn't believe he had gotten so far and though a debate with Principle Gray Davis likely would have exposed him, he ducked The Man and now he's home. May God have mercy on all of your West Coast souls.
I don't live in California so obviously I can't feel the problems so maybe you know something that I don't. I'm moving out West in about six months though so unfortunately I'll be forced to endure the decision of you knuckleheads. Maybe I can employ Michael Moore to spin a grouchy documentary about it. Truth be told, I'm pretty excited about getting out there though.
I've spent the first 22 years of my life living in Florida though and as God as my witness I won't let this celebrity dictatorship seep onto my land. The following statement is courtesy of 411Wrestling. "Hulk Hogan has stated on recent radio appearances that he is considering running for Governor of Florida." Now normally 85% of the things that Hulk Hogan says on the radio are a combination of nonsense and flat-out lies, but sadly this is something that I could see Hogan pursuing and this pisses me off about 20 times more than Arnold winning an election ever could.
Why is this? It's simple. If Hulk Hogan thinks anyone could possibly believe that he wants to do this to better the state of Florida, then he's an even bigger tool than I had previously pegged him as. Hogan --about the biggest attention whore I have ever seen-- sees the media coverage Arnold is receiving and wants a piece of the pie as always. This isn't Kurt Angle or Brock Lesnar we are talking about though, Hogan wants to use the ENTIRE state of Florida --roughly fifteen million people who need serious educational reform amongst other things-- in order to get himself over. Fuck Hogan. He's a washed up old man who's integrity has receded steadily with his hairline. From the time he went on national television and lied about using steroids I should have stopped supporting him. He blathers about doing it for the fans and love of the business, but he's left the fans one too many times and if he's too good to wrestle at a venue like the Nashville Fairgrounds with a group of young guys who genuinely love wrestling, then the hell with him. From his voice to his appearance he's a laughing stock and if he thinks that so much as 1% of the population of our fine state would be stupid enough to vote for a D level celebrity like him, he's even more delusional than I thought. Just another reason why Ric Flair will always outclass the so-called greatest facet of American wrestling during the 80's.
And finally, in other political news, John Kerry gives me the creeps.
Screenwriting 101:
Last week, I discussed the fact that Ken Anderson and I have become increasingly interested in whoring our literary prowess to the adoring masses in exchange for unheard of riches. Due to a combination of lack of enthusiasm for the desk job my December graduation will bring, a genuine passion for and mediocre talent in writing and the hundreds of thousands of dollars studios are offering for one good script, we have decided to seek as much information as possible about screenwriting, attempt to learn the craft and attempt to break the realistically impenetrable fortress that is Hollywood. Unfortunately, neither of us know a thing about writing dialogue, structuring a story, proper format, finding an agent or getting our finished product read by the right people. With that said, this section of An Introduction to Film will be used to teach you, the potential screenwriter, every important piece of information as we learn it.
You may be thinking to yourselves that you don't have what it takes. I'm here to tell you that that's complete bullshit. In researching current successful screenwriters I was shocked to find that the majority of them are just like us. They didn't go to film school, or even college at all in many cases. Many weren't great writers in a classical sense. They were normal people with good ideas who turned a hobby into a career that made them not only rich, but happy to get out of bed and get to work in the morning. A good friend of ours has a brother who most people, including his own family, thought was a loser because he wasn't a conventionally smart guy. He didn't follow the stock market, watch Fox News or debate current events with suit-clad monkeys. He liked to be alone and he liked to write. After selling his very first script for $325,000, a few less people consider him a loser. A script that he wrote and polished in his free time over a period of two months and enjoyed working on made him as much money as the average American makes in ten years.
All it takes is a good idea and the ability to translate that idea into an interesting and structurally proper script. I mean, look at some of the crap that actually makes it to the theatres. Someone with credentials and an enormous paycheck actually believed that the story of a deranged tooth ferry who only attacked children who peaked while she replaced their detached molars was a good idea, thus the writer of Darkness Falls was cut a six figure check.
We'll work on the "structurally proper" part of our idea later, but during the course of the next seven days, I want you, the budding screenwriter, to simply come up with an idea. A loose, general story that interests you and you think could interest others. According to statistics, 66% of literature and cinema is in some way based in theme on Shakespeare and 50% on the Bible , so don't be afraid if your story doesn't involve apocalyptic robots. A good number of you have already emailed me and expressed interest in the process, so by all means I encourage you to seriously ponder on an idea during the week. You don't need to map out the entire plot, just a brief theme that could be conveyed in a matter of 2 or 3 sentences.
In future chapters, we will begin turning that idea into a story, building strong characters, writing effective dialogue (perhaps with a coaching segment from guest professor Josh Grut) and tying it all together with a goal of a Christmas completion. Again, I know some of you are already in and I encourage all of you on the fence to at least consider participating. Who knows, you might just find yourself with a new hobby and enough money to hire Virgil to do your laundry.
The Cutting Room Floor:
SPOOKY HALLOWEEN EDITION!
In effort to continue or build towards one of the greatest holidays in existence, I'd like to take a look at the dark sequel to one of the greatest films to ever steal the hearts of the world. In 1982, Steven Spielberg introduced a piece of art that would serve as not just a great movie, but a cultural phenomenon. Originally titled A Boy's Life, it would go on to be called Night Skies and ET and Me before finally being shortened to E.T..
The film captured the imagination of children and adults alike and is still one of the most beloved stories ever put to film. The marketing machine the film created was such that Spielberg himself was said to be embarrassed. For years, until this very day, the public has begged for another bastardization of greatness by demanding a sequel, knowing full well that it could never live up to the original. George Lucas has done irreparable damage to his Star Wars franchise with two lackluster additions, the Jurassic Park series has been whored by two weak sequels to a modern classic and Urban Legends...well, I guess that doesn't apply. However, despite insistence from studio executives, his fans and even reportedly his family, Spielberg always refused to make a sequel to E.T., a decision which I strongly believe was the correct one.
Now knowing how big the film would turn out to be, Spielberg did however write a treatment for a sequel to E.T. along with colleague Melissa Mathison just before the film hit theatres, and the dark nature might just come as a surprise to fans of the loveable original. Subtitled "Nocturnal Fears", E.T. II was based upon Elliot and his friends being kidnapped by evil aliens, examined, interrogated and held captive aboard a spaceship.
The following in an unedited copy of the brief and extremely hard-to-find treatment written by Spielberg in July of 1982. I've been trying to get my hands on this for months now as a huge fan of the original and I finally came across a PDF version not too long ago, which I printed and painstakingly copied word by word for your viewing pleasure. Though part of me would love to see the film made one day, it's for the best that at least one classic 80's movie won't be met with a disappointing modern adaptation.
ET II: Nocturnal Fears:
By:
Steven Spielberg and Melissa Mathison
Written:
July 17, 1982.
- - - - -
In the night sky there is an emotion churning about. The stars twinkle blankly, expressionless as if to say that something is wrong. There is a slight breeze disturbing the tree tops - or is it?
Through gnarled branches we gaze upon a familiar site. In what seemed like only the blink of an eye, something has penetrated the night sky and nearly avoided our attention. A small noise, followed by streaks of stray light, further acknowledge its presence. A door is being opened on the giant ornamental mothership now resting in the forest clearing.
A door opens and extends outward to make a ramp. Light pours from within and a figure emerges as a silhouette. The creature moves in familiar fashion - a waddle.
- - - - -
School has now come to an end for Elliot, Michael, Gertie and their many friends. For most youngsters, summer is something to look forward to. This is not the case for a handful of children this summer! Summer is, unfortunately, a continuation and concentration of feelings and thoughts the previous months only hinted to. For these few kids, summer promises only one thing...Loneliness. This is the first of many summers without their little alien friend, nicknamed ET. Hard as it is, the children cope...
Elliot, Michael and Gertie are closer to one another since ET came into their lives. They have a special sort of relationship now. But, as always, time tends to blur memories and Elliot's mother, Mary, is still waiting for that process to begin. So far, however, ET is as popular today as he ever was!
- - - - -
The spaceship, nestled in the forest clearing surrounded by massive redwoods, seems to be showing signs of life. Movement can be detected within the ship.
The aliens onboard are EVIL. They have landed on Earth in response to distress signals designating its present coordinates. These aliens are searching for a stranded extraterrestrial named Zrek, who is sending a call for "help".
The evil creatures are carnivorous. Their leader, Korel, commands his crew to disperse into the forest to acquire food. As the squat aliens leave the gangplank, each one emits a hypnotic hum which has a paralyzing effect on the surrounding wildlife. These creatures are an albino fraction (mutation) of the same civilization ET belongs to. The two separate groups have been at war for decades!
Korel approaches the top of the gangplank and raises his frail arms outward as his yellow heart-light summons his crew back to the mothership. For a moment the aliens are paralyzed themselves. The tiny creatures eventually look up with their large, expressive red eyes and begin their orderly processional back up into the spaceship.
Inside the craft is a vast assortment of large plants and animal-like beasts in cages of light, obviously specimens from past voyages.
- - - - -
At Elliot's home we see him climbing onto his roof to check ET's COMMUNICATOR, which has been anchored down and sending messages into space ever since ET left Earth.
Elliot's father returned from New Mexico months before and filed for divorce, and moved back to New Mexico. But Elliot's family has seen harder times. And the fact that Mary has been dating Dr. Keys, since they met just before ET left, has eased the strain considerably.
One thing is certain...everybody under this households roof has something in common - ET! Keys has told his story time and time again about his first meeting with the tiny, confused ET. It is a story full of emotion, surprise and mystery. Keys never plays down how important that experience was to the direction of his life from then on. Keys admits his life ambitions were channeled toward more positive and rewarding goals. He didn't continue to live in a dream world of hope that he would one day meet his space friend again, like he fears Elliot and his friends are now. Keys insists he chose to pursue medicine and science because of ET.
Recently, Elliot has been seeing something he cannot explain. His umbrella COMMUNICATOR is reacting strangely now. He thinks it could be receiving a message from space!
In his room, Elliot is searching for something. On his well is the Poloroid snapshot of himself with Michael and ET on Halloween night. Above his bed we see ET's clay planets suspended by wire from the ceiling. Elliot emerges from the closet with a pot. His face becomes sad. The Geranium is still dead. He puts the pot on his dresser and sits on his bed, thinking.
Later, Elliot jumps up happy and races through his house. He finds Michael and Gertie and makes them promise their "most excellent promise" that they will tell nobody what they are about to do. Having finished that, Elliot calls his D&D buddies Steve, Tyler and Greg and tells them to ride their bicycles to the forest clearing because ET could be coming back!
- - - - -
There have been numerous reports of unexplained cattle mutilations in the surrounding countryside.
- - - - -
At the clearing we sense danger. We see shadows and undefined forms lurking in the nearby forest. Night is falling and in the distance we hear a commotion. Elliot and his friends are converging in the clearing unaware of any trouble. They arrive and dismount their bicycles.
In awe, everyone gazes upon the dark contours of the massive space machine. Suddenly, the figure of Korel appears in the illuminated porthole. Telepathically Korel speaks to the children asking the whereabouts of the fugitive alien, Zrek. The children reply honestly that..."He's gone home!". Korel becomes angry, believing that they are lying.
When the children regain their senses, they are surrounded by evil alien creatures who were hiding in the forest. The creatures are carrying some kind of a dagger. Elliot advances in a friendly gesture but barely escapes being bitten, or even killed, by the aliens razor sharp teeth! Several of the aliens bare their fangs from time to time to show they mean business. Korel orders that the children be brought aboard. Reluctantly Elliot and his friends follow.
In the hours that follow, Elliot and his companions are questioned extensively. But the aliens will not accept the truth in their responses. While one child is interrogated, another is being examined. Gertie is crying and calling for Mary and E.T. for help. The others endure (as their war-gaming experiences have taught them).
- - - - -
At Elliot's home, Mary is arriving from an extended date with Dr. Keys. They enter the empty house and proceed to investigate further why nobody is home. It is past 11:00p.m..
- - - - -
It is now time for Elliot to be questioned. The aliens show no mercy when he replies with the truth. The questioning process intensifies when they learn from his memory that he has dealt directly with Zrek. The pain is tremendous for Elliot and he breaks down and begins screaming for ET's help. Elliot blacks out - but the echoes of his last cry can be heard from a distance. At this point we follow, upward, the echoing cry for ET into the cosmos where the painful cry seems to die.
In the meantime, Keys and Mary decide not to call the police yet. They hear strange noises coming from - somewhere. They finally realize that the sound is coming from the roof.
Mary leads the way to Elliot's room where there is a trap door leading to the attic. From there, Keys climbs out a window and up to the rooftop. He witnesses a bizarre sight...the COMMUNICATOR is vibrating crazily and rotating to a new position. The keyboard red-out is repeating the same entry: "ET HELP ELLIOT SOON".
Keys calls Mary to the roof. When she arrives to read the message, they embrace and go back through the attic, into Elliot's room. Mary turns around to see the Geranium blooming to life. She lets out a feeble yelp and begins to cry. Keys and Mary are now aware of what has been happening. They go to their car and head for the forest clearing.
- - - - -
Elliot is physically and mentally drained now. Suddenly we hear a strange resonating hum throughout the ship, yet it is not coming from within the ship. All the evil aliens freeze. A hatch opens to reveal ET with his glowing finger raised and his heart-light pulsating.
Elliot awakes immediately. ET advances toward the captives and deactivates the light cages. He and Elliot embrace with tears in their eyes.
Elliot, Michael, Gertie, Steve, Tyler and Greg leave the EVIL mothership and wait for ET to come out after reprogramming the alien's navigation controls. ET exits the ship and rejoins his faithful friends.
Soon after, Mary and Keys arrive and reunited again with the magical little alien named ET. After saying their tearful goodbyes, ET's own mothership descends from the heavens to take the place of the evil ship that is now enroute to a remote corner of the galaxy.
There is HOPE in everyone's eyes as they all, again, behold the picturesque departure of their favorite alien. Dreams can come true!
- THE END -
S.S./M.M.
HALLOWEEN COUNTDOWN:
Movie Recommendation of the Week
Though I had hoped to provide a full review of this film, it's already two hours past the time that I needed to get to bed in order to be fresh for my midterm. With that said, movie reviews for good films are usually dull anyway, so allow me to simply give a movie you may not have seen my highest recommendation before calling it a night.
Alfred Hitchcock's Vertigo (1958) remains to this day one of the ten greatest films ever made according to most snooty historians. Forget what they think, let me tell you that as a normal guy, I found this to be one of the most captivating movies that I have seen in a long time. Considered by many, including Hitchcock himself, to be the director's greatest work, Hitchcock demanded nothing short of total perfection for the film. Using turntables, complicated camera tricks and bizarre lighting to create a blurry line between reality and insanity, the dizzying cinematography employed in Vertigo was nothing short of groundbreaking at the time and still resonates of genius today.
Though critically dissected at the time of release for the implausibility of the plot and breaking every rule of storytelling, Hitchcock dared to break convention and would later go on to be recognized for his courage. With an ambiguous ending, the climax occurring thirty minutes before the end of the film and more questions given than answers, the way Hitchcock pulled everything together makes the execution even more incredible.
Vertigo is the story of a man named Scottie suffering from a condition that leaves him petrified of heights. As a detective in the police force, Scottie retires after freezing on a rooftop and being unable to help his partner who plummets to his death.
Scottie becomes a drifter until running into an old colleague who asks him to do one more assignment. The man asks Scottie to follow his wife, whom he believes to be possessed by some sort of a supernatural force. After heavy resisting, Scottie finally agrees to follow her for one day and find out where she goes when she disappears.
With supernatural tones, murder and the inability to gather just who is losing their mind in this world, the plot takes more twists and turns than I could possibly describe if I was willing to spoil the film for you.
It's available over at Amazon.com for $14.99 and I found it at my local Blockbuster, so you might want to check that out if you've always wanted to slap some kids and say "They don't make 'em like that anymore". If you check it out, by all means drop me a line and let me know what you think, and if you've got other Hitchcock recommendations, I'd love to hear them.
Don't forget to think about those ideas for next week. Until next time, remember that despite what your parents taught you, in college sports it's OK to be a sore loser as long as the proceeds go to a refutable bootlegger.
