A Bloody Good Time 12.25.08: Top Ten Terrors of 2008

Posted by Joseph Lee on 12.25.2008

There's no peace on earth or goodwill toward men to be found here.

Welcome to A Bloody Good Time and Merry Christmas! As my present to you, it's time to present the year's best horror films. As you all know, this has been a pretty bad year for mainstream horror. It was a year of bad remakes, medicore retreads and derivative slashers. You may think that means this list will be lacking in quality. Not so, faithful reader. You just have to know where to look in order to get your horror fix. Hopefully this will help you out when you try to get your horror fix this holiday season.

Before we get to the top ten best, let's look at the worst. There have been a lot of bad horror films this year, but I have hand picked the worst three for you.

The Three Worst Horror Films Of The Year



#3: Day of the Dead

Unlike most horror remakes this year, the straight-to-DVD Day of the Dead at least tried to be something different. Outside of a Bud the Zombie reference, it's largely unlike the original Day in most respects. However, that doesn't make it a good film. It doesn't even make it an okay film. First of all, Nick Cannon was cast, and was given a fairly big role. Nick Cannon cannot act. He spends the movie delivering excruciating one-liners that are just terrible and being annoying in every conceivable way. Next, the zombies. These zombies can walk on ceilings and walls? Why? Well they never explain that. Nor does it ever come up again than it did in a throwaway scene. Steve Miner, who gave us Friday the 13th: 3-D and Warlock, should be ashamed of himself for participating in this film. Avoid at all costs.



#2: Shutter

I'm going to go ahead and spoil the big twist ending, so be aware that the following paragraph contains SPOILERS! The ghost is haunting Joshua Jackson because he let his friends rape the woman and then the reason he had pain in his neck the whole movie was because she was sitting on his head. He then proceeds to electrocute himself for no reason whatsoever. END SPOILERS. The motives of the ghost and the entire ending sequence make no sense at all. Even if the ending were not that bad, the build-up is quite dull and not scary. I'm not sure what I was expecting when I watched this film (I rented it blindly) but what I got was a very dull and stupid ghost story with a retarded finish. However, this movie isn't nearly as bad as the next one.

#1: One Missed Call



How I hate this movie. I hated this movie so much that it's not only A Bloody Good Time's Worst Horror Film of 2008, but it's one of the worst horror films of all time. It's source material, the original Takashi Miike film, was fairly decent. Not perfect, but it was good. This is incredibly stupid in so many ways. There is no reason for me to talk about why this film is bad again, so I'll copy and paste what I said in the previous column. Is it possible for 2008 to have already given me one of the worst films ever made? Yes. Maybe it's a little early, but I don't care. I don't need perspective to know how truly bad this "film" is. As I was watching it, I really wanted to turn it off, but that's the weird thing about me. I don't leave movies, no matter how bad. That doesn't mean I didn't pause and walk away from the television several times. I think that this was used as the tape in Ring. So basically each death happens, but since there is no character development, there is no reason to care. Who are these people exactly? A group of random idiots and eye candy looking to Edward Burns to save the day. The only problem is, he's just there to collect a paycheck. Then there's the ending. I know that it's still fairly recent so you don't want to be spoiled, but I'm going to do it anyway. Why? Because it will save you the agony of seeing it for yourself. The ghost of the mother magically appears and stops the bad ghost from doing something to Shannyn Sossamon. Then after some awkward staring, it ends. Just like that. Honestly, I think if you say you enjoyed this movie then you are a liar. A dirty, filthy liar..

Really, that doesn't even do justice for how bad this film is. It's not only my worst horror film of the year, but I've yet to see a worst movie, period, this year.

Okay, now with all that negativity out of my system, let's get to the best.

First of all, I noticed on Shawn S. Lealos's Alternate Takes, when he listed his top five horror films of the year, people mentioned The Orphanage and REC. Neither are 2008 films, so don't expect them to show up here. REC was released in it's home country of Spain on November 23, 2007 and The Orphanage was released here on December 28, 2007. While both are good movies, they are not 2008 films so they won't be on this countdown.

Also, as a reference point, here are the top ten terrors of 2007:

10: Rob Zombie's Halloween
9: Saw IV
8: Stephen King's The Mist
7: 30 Days of Night
6: 1408
5: 28 Weeks Later
4: Mr. Brooks
3: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon
2: Zodiac
1: Grindhouse


With all of that out of the way, let's take a look at: A Bloody Good Time's Top Ten Terrors of 2008!



10: Mother of Tears: The Third Mother

Director: Dario Argento
Starring: Asia Argento, Daria Nicolodi, Udo Kier, Moran Atias, Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni, Philippe Leroy
Story: A young American art student unwittingly opens an ancient urn that unleashes the demonic power of the world's most powerful witch. As a scourge of suicides plague the city and witches from all over the world converge on Rome to pay homage, Sarah must use all her own psychic powers to stop the 'Mother of Tears' before her evil conquers the world.



Twenty-seven years after Inferno(1980), Dario Argento finally presented his conclusion to his "Mother" trilogy. Now, I remarked in my review that this movie was mostly style and little substance, and the mediocre script and some bad acting brought it down. However, it's still a fairly decent horror film that I enjoyed. Dario Argento knows how to make a flashy horror film with lots of flair and blood. Blood is the key word. The movie begins with dramatic, ominous music and the pacing leads one to believe this is going to be a slow-moving suspense piece. After ten minutes into the movie, it's obvious this isn't the case. Once the urn is opened, all hell breaks loose as only Dario Argento can provide. The first death and the subsequent chaos are complete with a lot of gore, as well as general insanity.

This movie has all kinds of blood. For example, someone is choked with their own intestines. Argento knows how to let the blood spill and in this movie he creates a massacre. Argento has been around long enough that he knows how to provide the audience with lots of gruesome thrills. The death scenes throughout the film remain very gory and bloody, which should excite those who are into that sort of thing. There were even some scenes that had me shocked, as I hadn't seen anything like them before. Argento provides a quickly-paced, fluid movie. Did I mention the blood? There's a lot of it.



9: The Signal

Director: David Bruckner, Dan Bush, Jacob Gentry
Starring: AJ Bowen, Anessa Ramsey, Justin Welborn
Story: A horror film told in three parts, from three perspectives, in which a mysterious transmission that turns people into killers invades every cell phone, radio, and television.



Do you have the crazy? Many Stephen King fans may notice some glaring similarities to his novel Cell, and rightfully so. I'm not sure when the script for The Signal was developed, but it is very close to the plot of King's work. However they do differ enough that you won't be able to tell what happens in this movie by reading the book. Only the premise is the same.

The Signal is an interesting horror film because it's told in three different segments, each directed by three different directors. The first segment is straight horror, as it sets up the premise and shows what happens as citizens of Terminius City get "the crazy" in their head. People start killing people and it's total chaos. Actually, before that it opens with an homage to old 70's exploitation movies, complete with that style of credits. Then we get into this story. The second segment is more of a poke at suburban life. It's a horror comedy that's thrown in the middle unexpectedly, and it's pretty funny. In my opinion, the second segment is actually the best, as you see these people go nuts and they all try to get along without killing each other. The Signal was an unexpected treat, a nice little smashup of horror and comedy that works well.



8: Quarantine

Director: John Erick Dowdle
Starring: Jennifer Carpenter, Steve Harris, Jay Hernandez, Johnathon Schaech
Story: While on a field assignment shadowing a fire department, a newswoman and her cameraman go to an apartment building where they are locked in after an outbreak of rabies.



Yeah I hated the camera work on this film, but I still loved the scares and acting on the part of the cast. But I was able to let go of that complaint and view this for what it was. Quarantine has characters you get to know and relate to very quickly. The casting department deserves a high five for the choices here. At the very beginning, as they await the call that changes their lives forever, Angela Vidal and her cameraman cut it up with the firemen, getting a tour of the facility, laughing and getting to know one another. In these moments we get to know them as well, which gives us some strong character development rather quickly. This is very effective in getting the audience emotionally invested in the characters for the terror that occurs later. Jennifer Carpenter does really well, being likable and strong when she has to be, and in a realistic touch, she goes into hysterics.

Quarantine is definitely the place to get a good scare and blood fix. Lots of nasty bites and blood everywhere, but then there some genuine scares and tension in the film, which was a surprise given the camera work. It's flawed, sure, but you're not likely to find very many better offerings this year (only seven, by my count).



7: Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

Director: Jon Knautz
Starring: Robert Englund, Trevor Matthews
Story: As a child Jack Brooks witnessed the brutal murder of his family. Now a young man he struggles with a pestering girlfriend, therapy sessions that resolve nothing, and night classes that barely hold his interest. After unleashing an ancient curse, Jack's Professor undergoes a transformation into something not-quite- human, and Jack is forced to confront some old demons... along with a few new ones.



This movie caught me by surprise. It was a complete blind rental that I picked up because I saw that Robert Englund was in it. I wasn't expecting anything, and what I got was a really fun horror-comedy that was very reminiscent of Army of Darkness or Slither. Like Ash, Jack Brooks is a loser with a nowhere life before he encounters this problem. Sure he has a steady job and a girlfriend, but he also has a lot of psychological trauma and an odd professor teaching his night classes. Then he has to fight off monsters and the fun really begins.

Jack Brooks is a send-up of classic low budget monster movies that came before it, and you can tell it loves the movies it's spoofing. The effects are pretty good for a low-budget film, and there are plenty of nasty monsters roaming about to enjoy. Trevor Matthews is fine enough as the titular hero, but it's Robert Englund that makes this movie worth the way. He just steals the show here as Professor Crowley. It's a really funny performance and Englund sinks his teeth into it. This was a really fun movie and I want to see a sequel as soon as possible.



6: Splinter

Director: Toby Wilkins
Starring: Shea Whigham, Paulo Costanzo, Jill Wagner
Story: Trapped in an isolated gas station by a voracious Splinter parasite that transforms its still living victims into deadly hosts, a young couple and an escaped convict must find a way to work together to survive this primal terror.



Given a limited release on Halloween (it gets released on DVD on Jan 27), Splinter may not have been seen by very many people. However, they missed a great little horror movie. It's got some scares in it, but mostly the gore is what gets me. There is some mean-spirited nastiness here, and it's even worse when you take into account that these are very likable characters. Even the convict has good qualities, and he's the one I found myself liking the most. This is helped by the fantastic script, which while it doesn't bring anything new to the table, it has a cleverly-written story with character development and scares at the right moments.

For those of you who thought The Ruins was actually good (although I can't imagine why) this is like that, only with likable characters, a clever script and groan-inducing gore. Splinter is definitely a horror film for gore hounds and those who want to actually be scared. It never takes itself too seriously, it has a ton of bloodshed and violence, and a very unintentionally funny moment. (or it may have been intentional, I'm not sure). Splinter is a great horror film that I highly recommend.



5: The Midnight Meat Train

Director: Ryuhei Kitamura
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Brooke Shields, Roger Bart, Vinnie Jones
Story: A New York photographer hunts down a serial killer.



Clive Barker has always been a favorite of mine, and as I mentioned last week, it's been a while since he's had one of his works made into a film. The Midnight Meat Train is based on the story of the same name within his "Books of Blood" short story collections. Even though Lionsgate unceremoniously dumped this film into budget theaters and never gave it a proper chance, those with the proper respect for horror (Fearnet) picked it up and broadcast it on their free on-demand service this past October. As a side note, Fearnet is just amazing.

This horror film is also amazing. I must say, I'm glad the R-rated horror film hasn't went out of style just yet. MMT is fantastically bloody, violent and a great adaptation of the Barker story. I was wondering how they would cover the somewhat bizarre ending and they managed to do that well, making it more low-key. Vinnie Jones has a lot of presence here too, he doesn't have to say a word. He plays a great villain with just his facial expressions alone. Bradley Cooper does well-enough as the hero, although I'm more interested in Mahogany and his killing spree. Barker's works are more bizarre than most mainstream horror, but they also deliver some of the most entertaining films. Midnight Meat Train is no exception.



4: Eden Lake

Director: James Watkins
Starring: Kelly Reilly, Michael Fassbender, Jack O'Connell
Story: Refusing to let anything spoil their romantic weekend break, a young couple confront a gang of loutish youths with terrifyingly brutal consequences.



If you're someone that hates kids, this movie isn't going to change your mind. This British horror film is very nasty and those responsible for the crimes are a group of young kids, who brutally attack this couple and torture them. This movie pulls no punches and forces you to watch as a woman has to become something else to defend herself from being killed by these children, one of whom is very insane. The UK has been very good about unleashing brutal horror in recent years (something else that comes to mind is The Descent).

Eden Lake is a dark, depressing and bleak horror film. As a fan of these types of movies, I wouldn't have it any other way. This movie makes the viewer hate the antagonists and want nothing more than for the heroes to escape from this situation. Eden Lake also has some tension-filled stalk scenes and some very disturbing images. You won't be disappointed when you watch this movie.



3: Funny Games

Director: Michael Haneke
Starring: Naomi Watts, Tim Roth, Michael Pitt, Brady Corbet, Devon Gearhart
Story: Two psychotic young men take a family hostage in their cabin in a shot-for-shot remake of the 1997 original.



Michael Haneke was once quoted in an interview as saying that Funny Games was a message to the fans of torture films like Saw and Hostel. It's certainly a lot different from those films, in that the torture is not physical, but psychological. You don't see any gore, most of the violence is off-screen and everything is implied. But it's the way these "funny games" are played out, the effects they have on the family and the emotionally draining effect on the audience that make Funny Games a step above those films and make it far more insidious.

This is helped by the acting on the part of the cast. Everyone plays their roles to perfection. Naomi Watts is strong as the mother who experiences most of the torture, Tim Roth is the weak husband who isn't cut out for this sort of thing so he's helpless to save his family. However, Brady Corbet and Michael Pitt are the ones who shine as the polite and disturbing villains. We never know their motives, origins or anything about them. We just have to watch as they slowly torture and kill this family because they think it's fun. Funny Games may not scare everyone or anyone, I certainly didn't find it scary, but it's very disturbing. The worst part of it is, it blatantly unfair to the audience. When you think you may get some retribution for what these sick people are doing, they take it away from you and make you hate the villains.



2: Diary of the Dead

Director: George A. Romero
Starring: Shawn Roberts, Joshua Close, Michelle Morgan, Joe Dinicol, Phillip Riccio, Scott Wentworth, Tatiana Maslany
Story: A group of young film students run into real-life zombies while filming a horror movie of their own.



Any year with a Romero Dead film is bound to have that film somewhere in my top ten. I love zombie films and I love Romero zombie films even more. In this one, he takes a much different approach than previous entries. In fact he starts completely over, as he follows a group of college students right as the outbreak starts, who decide to keep track of everything with their camera. Unlike other hand-held movies, such as Cloverfield and Quarantine, Romero actually presents a hand-held feel that works and doesn't detract from the film (outside of the necessary stupid character decisions needed to keep the camera in play).

As with other zombie films, this has a lot of gore. As I was watching, I thought that it was nothing more than the typical zombie stuff (which isn't a bad thing), until the scene of the corpse's head slowly melting away because of acid. That was a top-notch effect that I loved. In the Dead series, this ranks right in the middle. Behind Night and Dawn, but above Day and Land. Considering how good Night and Dawn are, that's a compliment. You should definitely take the time to check this movie out.



1: Låt Den Rätte Komma In (Let The Right One In)

Director: Tomas Alfredson
Starring: Kare Hedebrant, Lina Leandersson, Per Ragnar
Story: Oskar, a bullied 12-year old, dreams of revenge. He falls in love with Eli, a peculiar girl. She can't stand the sun or food and to come into a room she needs to be invited. Eli gives Oskar the strength to hit back but when he realizes that Eli needs to drink other peoples blood to live he's faced with a choice.



If you've seen this movie, then you should have this on top of your horror film list as well. This movie has almost everything you could want. Gore and thrills for the horror fans, and a touching love story between the two children for everyone else. I know I went into a tirade against Twilight for introducing the sparkly non-threatening vampire, but this movie is able to handle both elements tremendously. Eli is both endearing and terrifying. She can be very nice to you or tear your throat open, depending on if she likes or not. The movie also has a level of subtlety most American mainstream horror films sorely lack. It has a lot of subtleties that you had to pay attention to in order to see (a certain scene with Eli's eyes comes to mind). It moves slowly but it's methodical, and you become engrossed with the characters and story more and more.

There are so many positives about Let the Right One In and hardly any negatives. You will fall in love with both of the main characters thanks to the script, direction and acting from first time child actors Kare Hedebrant and Lina Leandersson. It's able to mix scares with an endearing an intelligent story. Unlike other vampire love stories, this one is not just fluffy for teeny-bopper girls who have unrealistic perceptions of what love and men should be. It doesn't make vampires into something they're not in order to satisfy mainstream audiences. It's a dark story with tender moments, a horror film with love mixed in. It's the stuff that great films are made of, not just great horror films.

Simply put, Let The Right One In is not only the best horror film of the year, but it's one of the best vampire films ever and one of the best films of this year, period. It's a must-see. That's all I can say. You must go see it.

That's it for this year. Next week, I'll present a look at what horror you can expect in 2009.